She’d really dragged him into something horrible. Not just sleeping with her and the risk that carried for his reputation, but the real danger she’d put him in. Connor was a wildcard, unpredictable and erratic. She’d hate for him to somehow get wind of Lincoln being in her life. He’d take any chance he could to ruin her happiness.
After all, what happiness did she deserve when Dani got none? Connor reminded her of that every time he made a visit.
She’d have to end it with him. No matter how many promises she made to stop protecting him, Lincoln was too important to put at risk. Not just his reputation but now, his life. This would have to be it for them.
Wrapping the blanket around herself, she rose from the bed and padded to his chair. Whether he heard or sensed her, he opened his arms when she came near, inviting her to sit on his lap. Together, they watched the wood line behind the house, far off in the distance, as the moonlight played its shadows across the landscape. Lincoln’s hand absently twirled strands of her hair around his fingers; she placed her palm over his heart and let the steady rhythm soothe her.
“Sleep okay?”
His voice was somber and if she didn’t know better, she’d think he was on the same page as her. Maybe he was ready to leave, the drama too much.
She nodded, not daring to answer, regret thick in her throat.
They sat like that for a long time, holding each other, but he eventually spoke and when he did, she was surprised at his question.
“Was I one of the people that left you back then?”
Sadie sat up, a frown on her face as she looked down at him.
“What?”
“You said earlier, I’ll go just like before.”
“I meant everyone else, Linc. My friends all scattered like roaches the second I got my ass in a sling.”
“Before last month, I hadn’t seen you since you got your ass in a sling. If I really gave a shit, wouldn’t I have made an effort?”
Sadie barked out a laugh. “Is that what you’re being all sexy broody about over here? That you didn’t stand by me when I went to prison? Lincoln, we weren’t friends. Your loyalty was to Brady and you stuck by him. That’s enough.”
“Is it?”
“Why are you beating yourself up about it now? What difference does it make?”
He framed her cheeks with his hands and the look on his face broke her heart. Somewhere between wounded and angry, his expression hit her like a physical blow.
“Here I am, on your ass about respect and friendship. It made me wonder if I’d done more, been more for you…”
Her brows drew down. “What? You think you could have saved me? Lincoln, I would have torn you to shreds. I was out of control; the only thing I cared about was myself. Those friends that all disappeared were bought and paid for, their loyalty to my father’s credit card, not me. If not that, they were guys I slept with—”
“Yeah, I don’t want to hear that.”
“It’s the truth. I destroyed everything I touched but never once, in all the time since the accident, have I ever thought you could have done more.”
“I keep thinking about you moving out here. In some ways, I’m jealous. It’s quiet and casual; it makes me feel”—he struggled to find the right word—“tranquil, I guess. But sometimes, like today, I wonder if you’re really out here because you have nowhere else to go. Like you got chased out of your real life.” He looked at her in question. “Who told you not to come to family functions?”
“My father. He said it was bad for business. I’m sure he was right, and you know, I can’t be there anyway, Lincoln. Not that I’m tempted. I don’t want to be that close to who I was. I wanted to come out here and start fresh.”
“But it still hurt,” he concluded. “Didn’t it?”
“Like a knife to the gut,” she confirmed as raindrops began to fall outside. “But I got to learn how to do things for myself which was new to me and it made me feel strong. Empowered.” She shrugged. “I’d never felt that way before.”
“Not empowered enough to tell Connor Page to get the hell out of your life.”
She knew he wouldn’t let the subject go so easily. Straddling his lap she ran her fingers through his wild hair.
“It’s hard to explain.”
“You haven’t tried but I’m still waiting.”
“I killed his sister, Lincoln. He and I, we live with that reality every single day. He has to live without her, and I have to live knowing that I’m responsible for taking her from him. From all of them. It links us together in a way.”
“He’s preying on you, honey. He’s using your guilt against you, and I have a hard time believing the only thing he’s after is tormenting you.”
It wasn’t a hard leap to make and Lincoln was a smart man. She’d at least hoped he forgot or would tactfully let the subject drop, but he was far too direct for that.
“The silence is more than enough confirmation.” Lincoln sighed. “How much does he want?”
The reminder was like a bucket of ice water and she wrapped the blanket tight around her as she tried to stand up. Lincoln grabbed her at the waist, his big hands gentle but firm.
“How much?”
“I’ve got it covered. It’s not what you think.”
The lies fell out of her mouth easily enough, but neither of them were buying what she was selling. When Lincoln just raised a brow at her, she huffed and crossed her arms.
“Sadie, you’ve got a guy that’s unhinged, breaking in and trashing your house. This has moved well beyond a guilt trip or a monetary exchange, no matter how out of line that may be. It’s to a point where it’s dangerous for you and I can’t do nothing about it.”
“Lincoln—”
“I called a security company to come out and install a security system here.”
Sadie reared back. “You what?”
“If you’re not going to do something about this, I will. If the security system is the least I can do, then it’s what I’ll do.”
“I can do that myself.”
“But you haven’t. What I really want to do is dig through your financials, see how much you’ve already paid this guy, track him down and strangle him. Then I’d sic the cops on his ass, not just for breaking in here but for blackmailing you in the first place.” He shook his head. “How did Brady not catch it?”
“It’s not Brady’s fault,” she said.
“He’s your financial advisor. If anyone was going to catch something like this, it would be him.”
“I didn’t want it to be caught.” She pulled away again and this time, he let her go. Slipping into the master bathroom, she threw on her robe, using the privacy to take a few breaths.
After the break-in, this conversation was inevitable, but it didn’t make her any more inclined to spill all the details to Lincoln. Her trust fund and allowance were things she kept close to the vest these days, the details already made public when she was arrested. Brady gave her money every month. He didn’t track what she did with the money and had no idea she’d been skimming off the top to pay Connor. If she had her say, he’d continue being in the dark.
She threw her hair in a messy bun and steeled herself to face Lincoln again. He was her girlhood dream come true—everything she’d ever wanted him to be and so much more. He held her up when she needed him to but gave her plenty of room to stand on her own. He looked at her like she was precious, holding her at times like she was glass but he let her do heavy lifting, knowing she was strong. He deferred to her when it came to things she was well-versed at, letting her be superior in her knowledge without becoming intimidated.
She wanted to keep him for herself, but when she thought about Connor finding out about him, her stomach churned with nerves. She’d never forgive herself if something happened to him.
Peeking out the door, she saw that Lincoln had removed his clothes and was sitting on the bed, watching her.
“Planning to come back out?”
Sadie lean
ed a shoulder against the door frame and crossed her arms. “Maybe.”
“I know you don’t like me prying,” he said, not looking apologetic in the least. “If I don’t tell Brady or stick my nose too far into the situation, will you at least let me still be here for you, or are you planning to make me leave tonight?”
It was like he could read her mind, maybe even see the resignation on her face.
“Tough to go home when you’re all naked like that,” she said, skirting a real answer.
“Part of the plan,” he admitted, his lips turning up in a way that still left no hint of a real smile. “And if you are going to make me leave, I’m not going without touching you again.”
He held out a hand to her, his blue eyes imploring her to take it.
Her robe was the first thing to go—just the slip of the belt and there was nothing between them but charged emotion and need.
She should have hesitated, at least thought about what taking his hand would signify, but she didn’t. Not even for a second. She took the steps she needed to until her skin was touching his and he was pulling her under him.
His skin was hot against hers and she ran her hands along his shoulders, memorizing the ridges of his broad width, committing them to memory.
Things moved fast, their usual laughing touches and games of human Tetris not on either of their radars. Instead, he thrust inside and she wrapped herself around him and they both held on for dear life, hoping they’d survive the ride.
Maybe, hoping they’d survive each other.
Lincoln’s hair slid through Sadie’s fingers as the sun came up outside. His head rested on her lap as he slept, tangled in the blankets of her bed.
He’d finally fallen asleep, the silence that had surrounded them becoming more companionable than before when it had been charged with animosity.
What was she going to do?
Smart money was on Lincoln being right. Connor was not going to just go away on his own. More than that, he’d become a danger, their tentative agreement more punishment than anything else.
It was time to put that part of her life behind her, and getting rid of Connor was her first step to doing that.
If Connor was gone, then she didn’t need Lincoln’s fancy security system, which was a huge bonus.
If Connor was gone, she might have the chance to keep Lincoln for herself.
Her eyes stung as tears built and she shook her head, hoping to quell them. She’d never be able to keep Lincoln for herself; she already knew that. But the dream was worth envisioning. She pictured them at her house, where they were all happiest, surrounded by dogs and warmth, their love for each other enough to make them both whole again.
Cocoa and Gordon could have a dog wedding, she thought. She’d always wanted to plan a wedding and it seemed like the perfect occasion.
Lola would be far too dignified to carry a basket of flowers, but Aggie would be great.
Lola could just be the witness.
“Do I want to know what has you smiling like that?”
Lincoln’s voice was gravelly from sleep and his eyes met hers in the mirror above her dresser.
“I was mentally planning Cocoa and Gordon’s wedding.”
His face was pure confusion, which absolutely tickled Sadie. She bet he didn’t have a lot of room in his life for such frivolities.
“I was thinking that Lola wouldn’t be into a being a flower girl. You know, carrying a basket of flower petals down the aisle.”
“Aggie would do it,” he murmured, burying his face in her lap before facing her. “She’d like that.”
God, did he just get her.
“Yeah,” Sadie agreed quietly. “She really would.”
“Lola would have to supervise or something.”
“Witness,” she said, repeating the exact thought she’d had echoed back to her.
“She’d be good at that. Why are we planning a dog wedding again?” he asked, still not sure where any of this was going.
We. There was something so permanent about the we.
“Just daydreaming,” she said, ruffling his hair and palming his cheek. “I’ve been sitting here for hours, waiting for you to wake up.”
Lincoln raised himself up no more than an inch and checked the clock. “It’s seven,” he complained. “What the hell time did you wake up?”
“Never went to sleep,” she admitted. “Too wound up, I guess.”
“Worried Connor will come back?” he asked, his head firmly planted on her lap, keeping her trapped under his gaze.
“Not worried, no. I don’t think he’d show up here just yet. More trying to figure out how to get out of the mess I find myself in.” She shrugged. “The mess I made.”
“Don’t put what he’s doing on yourself, honey. You didn’t ask for any of this.”
“I didn’t do anything to stop it, though, did I?”
“How long have you been paying him off?”
She blew out a breath. “It started small. Paying for his books at college. Helping pay his tuition. Things like that.”
He watched her, studying her expressions and carefully weighing her words. He did that a lot. It was one of her favorite things about him.
“You were trying to help him,” he concluded. “Trying to help him get ahead.”
Sadie nodded in answer.
“If I remember correctly, you settled a big civil suit with his parents, did you not?”
Again, she nodded. It had been a huge settlement, millions and millions of dollars, and she hadn’t fought them in court at all. They’d brought the suit and she’d paid the money, no questions asked.
“You don’t owe them anything, Sadie.”
“It started small. He didn’t want to take money from his parents because they were using the money from the civil suit for charities. He kept telling me that the money was better spent where his parents wanted it to go. The least I could do was help out with his college stuff, so they didn’t have to worry about it.”
“And you did.”
“Then when he graduated, he needed a place to live and a down payment and a million other things.”
“Sade.” He used her nickname as a term of reproach.
“But he went away for a while after that.”
“He came back, obviously.”
He came back and it had been worse than ever. He’d gone from imploring and pleading, cajoling almost, to entitled. He treated her as if she owed him something.
And dammit, she did. She owed him his sister’s life, but that was a debt that could never be paid.
“How much have you paid him?”
She lifted a shoulder and looked away. “A lot.”
“And this money you’re paying him? Where’s that coming from?”
Now or never, she thought. She was either going to give him the answers and hope to keep him, or hold onto them and let him go. Which was more important?
The decision was simple.
“The allowance from my trust.”
“You mother’s trust?” he asked, surprise in his voice. “The one we manage?”
She nodded.
“What are we talking here? A couple thousand a pop? Once a month? More?”
“Tens,” she admitted starkly. “At least once a month.”
“At least…” he trailed off. “At least once a month, Sadie? This guy is robbing you blind.”
“He’s not robbing. I’m giving.”
He sat up quickly, facing her head-on, ready for serious battle. She could see it in his eyes, the seriousness and determination.
“You know damn well what I mean so don’t try to blow this off. Your mother left that money for you to build a future, not pay off some scumbag that’s gotten it in his mind that you owe him something. You don’t.” The look he sent her was full of conviction. “This ends right now. We’re calling my lawyer and getting a restraining order.”
“Please don’t do that,” she said, her hand on his forearm slowing him as he
stood to presumably get dressed. “I’ll take care of it, Lincoln. Really, I will. But I don’t want to cause the Pages any more trouble, I don’t want to make a scene. I’ll take care of Connor.”
He had the grace and good sense to not look doubtful, but it stood there between them anyway.
Even she was doubtful it was possible to get Connor to go away with just a simple request, but she was going to give it a shot. If things didn’t change, she’d call her own lawyer on it, not Lincoln’s. At least her lawyer was well-acquainted with her situation.
“How long do I have?” he asked with thinly veiled apprehension, grabbing his boxers from the floor and sliding them on.
“Have with what?” she asked, watching him pull his pants on.
“Before you kick me out?”
Sadie stood and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her naked body against him, his chest hard and warm.
“You’re not going anywhere, Lincoln.”
“You’re not going to make me leave?” There was surprise in his voice.
She looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest. “You should leave and we both know it. Not just me, being who I am, and you, being who you are, but this thing with Connor is the last thing I want you mixed up in. He’s wild, Lincoln, and I don’t trust him to know about you. If he knows I have something…” she trailed off.
“If he knows you have something what, Sade?”
“If he knows I have something I care about so much, he’ll want to take it away from me. That’s the way he works.”
His fingertips ghosted over her cheekbone and her lips, Lincoln’s blue eyes soft as he followed their trail.
“Sadie Charles, it almost sounds like you like having me around,” he murmured.
“You know I do,” she said softly. “I just don’t want to get my hopes up that this thing will work out.”
“Oh, Sadie,” he whispered, pressing his lips to hers, running his tongue gently across her bottom lip. “You are the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”
No Love Left Behind (Boston Billionaire's Club Book 1) Page 14
