He’d just let in his sister Audrey when he saw Dylan’s car pull into the driveway. Behind him, a couple other cars parked in a neat line and the Walkers descended. Lexi Walker was Dylan’s girlfriend and she came with a laundry list of family members that never went anywhere without each other. Lexi got out of Dylan’s car and turned to greet her twin sister Andy who got out of another car. They were all there, Spencer and Owen and Logan, the male contingent of the Walker clan, and even little Walker, Logan and Beth’s baby, who was technically a Hallowell.
They opened trunks and took out armfuls of food and baskets he assumed were full of food, and Lincoln felt a wave of relief.
Grant pulled in and parked right next to Andy and Owen’s car, only to have Jenna shove a basket into his arms. With a scowl, he brought it to the door.
“Apparently, I’m supposed to put this with the food,” Grant grunted.
Jenna did have a way of pushing Grant’s buttons. She’d interned with them the summer before and had just about driven him crazy. She was a bright kid and her ideas were a hit, but some people didn’t like change.
“Thanks for coming,” Lincoln told his old friend.
“Brady told me I had to.”
“Oh my God, you’re such a Neanderthal,” Jenna muttered as she shouldered her way up the front steps, her arms full. “You’re supposed to say something like ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or ‘I’m always here for you’. Not, Brady made me.”
Grant rolled his eyes. “She’s a fresh-ass kid,” he said when she was out of sight, his lips almost turned up at the edges. “She’s easy to piss off.”
“Try not to piss off too many people today. This means a lot to Sadie.”
Grant nodded, following Jenna into the house and leaving him to greet the rest of the Walkers.
First was Andy and Owen, and they made polite noises as he pointed them in the direction of the food.
“You didn’t have to bring anything,” he told them.
“It’s what we do,” Andy said simply.
Next was Beth, Logan, and the baby. Walker was a cute little bugger, all green eyes and red hair, drool wetting his chin. They were a nice couple, Beth with her sharp sass and Logan with his mellow acceptance.
“Thanks for coming all this way,” Lincoln said, holding out a finger and letting the baby take it. His little fists were wet but he grabbed onto Lincoln’s thumb, pulling it this way and that.
“We’re sorry to hear about what you’ve been dealing with. If you need anything, let us know,” Logan said solemnly.
Dylan and Lexi came up next, Spencer right behind them, all of them laden with food.
“I cook when I’m upset,” Lexi said with a shrug. “I can’t imagine what you all are going through.”
“Thank you, guys, for coming.”
“Stop with the diplomatic bullshit,” Spencer said flatly. They’d gotten to know each other fairly well over the last year, since Spencer’s sister and Dylan got together. Clearly, the time for tiptoeing had passed. “You called. We came. Easy as that. We’ll bring this shit inside and if you need us to do something, grab a Walker, any Walker, and we’ll do it. Well,” he corrected. “Not the little one. He’s still a work in progress.”
Laughing felt good and he had to stem off the feelings of guilt it triggered.
He led them through the house and into the kitchen that opened to the patio. There was food and Walker women everywhere. They were refilling pitchers of water and lemonade, making sure all the food was put out correctly, and just generally making themselves busy.
Sadie sat out on the patio, her eyes lost as she gazed out at the wood line behind the house, Brenda sitting next to her.
“How’s she holding up?”
It took him just a second to figure out which twin was asking, but the answer came quickly. It was Andy. She had a scar on her lip and Lexi didn’t.
“Best she can,” he said with a half-shrug. “But this is important to her and I want to make sure she gets what she needs from it.”
Andy nodded as she watched Sadie. “We’ll make sure it all goes off smoothly. That’s the best we can do for her. How are you?”
Lincoln wasn’t sure how to answer that question so he didn’t. Instead, he just quirked one side of his lips and let it pass him by.
“We’re all here,” Andy reminded him. “Just in case.”
It was an interesting gathering, if nothing else. Everything from her old and new lives mixing together, the company a mishmash of family from Boston and her neighbors from town. Lucas and his mom wandered around, and the young man’s eyes were red-rimmed, as if he was taking the loss as personally as she had.
Lincoln and Brady’s business partners had come and with them came an entire group of people Sadie didn’t know. They were unobtrusive and helpful, women and men with a couple kids thrown in. Lola had taken a particular interest in the teenage girl, following her around and reveling in her touch. It was interesting as Lola wasn’t always the most accepting of affection but she seemed to like the girl very much. Aggie paid close attention to the baby, as if she’d never seen anything so interesting.
Sadie was sitting next to Brenda, watching the party with interest and thinking how much Cocoa would have loved to have so many people at the house.
“I’m sorry to bother you.” It was one of the women that had come with Dylan James. “I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I know you don’t know me, but we’re friends of Lincoln’s, and we wanted to make sure you both had all the support you need right now. I’m Andy.” She stuck her hand out and gave Sadie a soft smile.
“Sadie.”
“If you need anything, anything at all, just let me know. Can I get you a drink or something to eat?”
“You must be a mother,” Brenda commented. “It’s always the mother trying to feed everyone.”
“Guilty as charged,” Andy said, pointing across the yard at the girl with Lola. “That one’s mine.”
“Really?” Sadie couldn’t help but ask.
“I know. I’m far too young to have a teenager,” she said with a wink. “And most days I feel too old to have any idea what she’s talking about. I’m almost sure that teenagers have their own language.”
“We did.” A woman that looked exactly like Andy walked up and handed Sadie a glass full of lemonade and a plate of food. “I’m Lexi. I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. If you need anything, let us know.”
“I already said that,” Andy told her sister.
“You’re the one that had the baby in the elevator,” Sadie filled in, putting the pieces together and remembering the stories. “The one Grant delivered.”
“Oh Lord, seriously?” Brenda whispered. “In an elevator.”
“Long story,” Lexi said. “And it wasn’t even my baby.”
“Wait, what?” Brenda asked.
“See that adorable little cherub?” She pointed to a redhead holding a baby, dipping his feet in the pool. A man stood by smiling, a shiny prosthetic sticking out from the leg of his shorts. “That’s our other sister, Beth. It was her baby I was carrying.”
Brenda’s eyes were round and Sadie felt a similar kind of wide-eyed wonder. They were outgoing and kind, friendly but still thoughtful.
“I’m going to go make sure no one needs anything, Sadie,” Brenda said, excusing herself. “I’ll be around if you need me.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sadie replied, hugging her friend and watching her go.
“Do you mind if we keep you company or would you rather be alone?” Andy asked.
“I don’t think being alone is doing me any good, to be honest.”
Andy nodded and took Brenda’s seat. Lexi took a seat in the grass, tipping her face to the sun.
“We saw the pictures of Cocoa by the reception table. She was a beautiful dog.”
Sadie smiled. “Would you believe that I found her abandoned at a junkyard? Someone called me and told me they thought they saw a puppy tr
apped in there, starving and sick.”
“What kind of asshole does that?” Lexi growled, a dark scowl on her face.
Sadie shrugged. “Aggie was left in a trash can at a gas station. Lola was rescued from a puppy mill, after birthing who knows how many litters of puppies, locked in a cage so small she couldn’t even stand up.”
“Oh my word,” Andy murmured.
“You save them,” Lexi concluded, her blue eyes sharp on Sadie’s.
“How much has Dylan told you about me?” she asked, knowing Lexi was Dylan’s girlfriend.
“Dylan gabs like an elderly woman at her weekly mahjong club. The man tells me everything. Probably too much.”
“Then you know. I didn’t save them, they saved me,” Sadie told them.
“Someone rescue me, they’re talking about football,” the redhead said as she hurried over. There was a wet spot on the shoulder of her shirt, but the baby was safely tucked away in what Sadie assumed was his father’s arms. “Sorry to interrupt, sorry for your loss, is there booze in the lemonade?”
“Beth,” Lexi scolded.
Beth glared at Andy. “Why didn’t you warn me that my baby wouldn’t sleep through the night until he turned eighteen?”
“Would you have listened if I did?”
“Of course not,” Beth said without hesitation. “But a heads up would have been nice. I haven’t slept since last year and I’m tired, man. So tired.”
“I don’t want to burst your bubble here, Beth, but you know today isn’t all about you, right? We’re actually here for a different reason.”
“I was trying to help with distraction,” she reasoned. “Beth.” She shook Sadie’s hand.
“Sadie.”
“I know. We’re nicknamers too. Bethany.” She pointed to her sisters. “Andrea and Alexa.”
“We come on strong,” Lexi commented. “But you’ll get used to us.”
“I wish I was feeling more up to conversation,” she admitted. They seemed like a nice group of women, open and honest.
“Let us do the heavy lifting,” Andy said softly. “You just do your thing.”
“I’m not sure what my thing is right now. I’m just trying to get out of bed every morning.”
“If there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that grief doesn’t look the same on everyone,” Andy said.
“You’ve got that right,” Beth chimed in, grabbing a cookie off the plate Lexi had brought Sadie. “And there’s no timetable. No right or wrong.”
“No one-size-fits-all answer,” Lexi added. “We all do it differently. We lost our mom, and none of us had the same grieving process.”
“Andy threw herself into being a mother. Not just to Jenna but to us too, filling our mom’s shoes,” Beth offered.
“It helped,” Andy told them with a half shrug. “Alex went to school and baked. She spent a lot of time with Jenna when she was little. I think having a little one around helped. It gave us all something positive to focus on.”
Sadie looked at Beth, expecting her answer to be similar to her sisters’, a tale of strength and perseverance.
“I’m still grieving,” the woman admitted instead. “I spent a lot of time running from the grief instead of dealing with it. I let it derail me a little, let it run my life.” She lifted a shoulder. “I’m still working through it.”
It was comforting to hear their different tales, knowing that maybe she wasn’t crazy, after all.
“You don’t think…it doesn’t make me…I don’t know…because it’s a dog?” Sadie hedged, letting those comments from her father sink in, like she was making a spectacle.
“Loss is loss,” Andy said firmly, putting a hand on Sadie’s shoulder. “And don’t let anyone tell you different.”
“No, really, is there booze in the lemonade?” Beth asked again, this time a funny quirk to her lips as she stuffed her nose in the cup and sniffed.
“You’re such a brat.” Lexi laughed, pulling a flask from her purse. “Now, it just happens that Dylan bought me this last week.”
“Likely story,” Andy said.
“Oh, how adorable.” Beth held it up after Lexi passed it to her, showing off Lexi’s business logo engraved on the front. “The Bad Girl of Sweets, drinking on the job.”
“I love your croissants,” Sadie felt compelled to say. “Lincoln brings them when he comes on the weekends.”
A smile stretched across Lexi’s lips. “Oh, he does, does he? Let’s talk more about Lincoln coming on the weekends.”
Sadie barked out a laugh at the innuendo, the sound foreign but light enough to lift some of the heaviest weight she was carrying.
“Alex,” Andy scolded on a giggle.
“It was worth the laugh. Maybe we can give you a few light moments while we’re here. Something to hang onto in the middle of all the dark,” Lexi said softly, looking thoughtfully out at the wood line.
Sadie followed her eyes, remembering holding Cocoa out there in the dark, getting there too late to see her last moments on earth, to see her safely to the other side.
One bright moment and it had felt good.
Now she just needed a truckload more.
“You don’t have to do this,” Lincoln told her for the tenth time, concern etched on his face.
“I do.” It was the same reply she’d given him all the other times. “I think I need to. For me. For her.”
He just shook his head, not with disappointment but with the mutual sadness that ran between them.
“It’s supposed to be nice tomorrow. Maybe we can go for a walk,” she said softly, trying to bring back a sliver of normalcy.
“You mean a hike,” he corrected.
“Depends how out of shape you are.”
Lincoln cracked a smile and it was just the balm she needed before she stepped to the front of the patio and gave a loud, “Excuse me,” to the crowd.
“I’d like to thank you all for coming. I know this is all a bit unconventional.” They were all looking at her, waiting to see what she was going to say, and her nerves tingled under her skin but she was ready to share with them just who and what Cocoa was. Only then could she really begin to heal in any way. “Cocoa was a very special girl and ever since the second I laid eyes on her, I just knew she was meant to be mine. And I don’t mean that in the sense that a person owns a dog or that she belonged to me, but in that we were kindred, she and I.
“I guess to really understand, you’d have to go back to where I come from and where I’ve been. There was a time in my life where I was given the opportunity to change who I was. It was a prison sentence, as I’m sure you all know, but the punishment fit the crime and more than learning my lesson, I learned who I really wanted to be in this world. I wanted to be more than the money I come from or the man I marry or the last name attached to my checkbook. I wanted freedom to be me.
“Cocoa was born behind a chain-link fence and survived on nothing but sheer will, as far as I could see. I’ll admit to trespassing on private property just to get to her because when I noticed her through the fence, her eyes met mine and there was hope there. Like I was going to be the one to save her.
“But really, it was the other way around. While I searched and fought for my freedom, Cocoa showed me what it was to be free. She ran and played and lived carefree every day she was alive. I forget to do that sometimes—I think we all do, but she was always there to remind me. Saving me from my doubts and fear.
“She reminded me that it doesn’t matter where we come from, whether it’s high up in an ivory tower or trapped behind that chain-link fence, we get to be just who and what we want every single day. We get to choose to love big and laugh loud and enjoy life as we please.
“My biggest regret is not protecting Cocoa enough, not being there when she needed me. But I know that my loyal friend loved her days here with me and lived each moment with joy and enthusiasm. I take solace in that and hope I can remember each and every day to do the same. And if you take anything from being
here today, whether someone dragged you here or you came on your own, I hope it’s the reminder that the future will always outweigh the past. It’s never too late to start over or make a change and be the person you want to be. It’s never too late to love bigger or laugh louder, or in Cocoa’s case get extra muddy.”
Sadie awkwardly held up her hands in a silent thank you to the stunned and silent crowd, and took a few steps back, then fled. She’d been thinking for days on what she could say about Cocoa that would make people understand why she was so devastated and what Cocoa brought to the world around her. Lincoln had heard her speech; she’d practiced in front of him, making sure she could get through it without crying, and even he’d been too choked up to speak afterward.
She wound her way around the yard, avoiding running into anyone for at least a few minutes. Taking a seat at a little bench at the end of the flower garden, she let the afternoon sun warm her back as she sucked in a cleansing breath and closed her eyes.
Wishing things were different, she imagined what the rest of the summer would have looked like with her three dogs, Lincoln, and Gordon by her side. She let those slides warm her insides and block out the reality that threatened to burst her bubble.
“I’ve hated you for a very long time.”
The words weren’t angry or harsh. Just softly spoken and almost rueful.
Sadie opened her eyes, settling them on Mrs. Page.
“I don’t blame you,” Sadie replied, unsure why the woman was at her home, especially in that moment. With everything between them—Dani and Connor, Sadie was unsure what there was to say.
“Do you mind if I sit?”
She slid over, making room and motioned for the woman sit next to her.
They sat in silence for a few seconds, a tense, emotion-filled silence that Sadie was unsure how to navigate.
“I’d like to offer my condolences on your loss.”
“Thank you,” she returned automatically.
No Love Left Behind (Boston Billionaire's Club Book 1) Page 20
