by May Dawson
It didn’t matter if there was booze or not. Tension couldn’t flare much hotter between Jensen and me.
I glanced up at him again, almost against my will. He was still writing, his pencil moving steadily across the page, his handsome face stern with concentration. As if he could feel my gaze, he looked up.
His eyes were light gold around his pupils, then flared to a deep amber. They were beautiful and unsettling and reminded me of a cat’s eyes. Once our eyes met, I couldn’t stop staring. It must be because his eyes were so unusual.
Jensen winked at me, breaking the spell, and I glanced back down at my page. I squirmed in my seat, trying to regain my focus, but something about having Jensen near me made me feel odd.
Jensen McCauley was a hazard.
To everyone.
But maybe, especially, to me.
Chapter Two
Rafe glanced over my essay. “Great box-checking, Northsea. If I squint really hard at the pages, I can almost believe you learned something.”
I should tell him or Lex about the necklace, but not with Jensen slowly packing up his backpack behind me, moving at the speed of a sloth.
I left my essay behind and went to grab my own bag, only to have Rafe tell me, “Northsea, wait one second, please.”
Jensen turned his back on Rafe and, when only I could see his face, waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. “Enjoy,” he mouthed.
I ignored him. Slipping my bag over my shoulder, I headed to Rafe’s table. He glanced down at the book he was studying, then raked his hand through his hair and sighed as if something bothered him.
“Is there something I can help you with?” I asked. I was supposed to keep the full extent of my magical abilities to myself, but I’d studied quite a bit at home. Maybe Rafe had realized I was a resource.
He glanced up at me, his lips quirking. “No.”
Well, that was harsh.
“I wanted to tell you that I’ll call your sister and let her know you won’t be coming home this weekend. I wouldn’t want her to worry about you.”
Tension knotted in my stomach. I hadn’t called my sister yet. I didn’t want her to know how much I was floundering at the academy lately. Penn would let me use his secret cell phone, but I couldn’t turn down Rafe’s offer. Anyone who knew me knew how much I loved my sister. He’d realize I had access to some other way to get in touch with Piper.
“Thank you,” I said slowly. “But if I could just call her myself—”
“You know the deal. No phones on restriction.” Rafe leaned back, his dark eyes gauging my reaction.
“I don’t have any issue with that. Sir. I just—”
His lips quirked, which didn’t make me feel any better. “You always remember the sir when you really want something, don’t you?”
I’d grown up in a pack of powerful shifters, including two alphas, and they managed to command just fine without anyone calling them by any kind of title. It all seemed so ridiculous to me.
“I just want to make sure my sister’s okay,” I said. “And if she knows I’m on restriction, she’ll worry about me and she has enough on her plate—”
“That’s part of the punishment, Northsea,” he said. “You let her down, and you let yourself down. I hope this actually makes an impression. I don’t know how else to get you to grow up.”
I was miles from perfect, but when it mattered, I’d always done the right thing. I’d saved Jensen’s life, and I’d protected dozens of kids by taking down an evil coven. But apparently, all that mattered here at the academy was how well I checked the boxes.
He glanced at his watch. “For that matter, if you have any ideas about how to help McCauley grow up, I’m all ears.”
I hadn’t expected him to say that. I looked over my shoulder, but Jensen had gone already, on his quiet, predator’s feet. He always seemed to carry so much of the wolf with him.
“Did you know Eliza?” I asked.
His eyes widened. “My question was rhetorical because you and Jensen seem to be neck-and-neck in some great competition to see who can annoy me more. It was not an invitation to get to know each other on a personal level.”
“I just… was he like this before she died?” I forged on, determined to unwrap some of Jensen’s secrets.
Rafe hesitated, and I thought he wasn’t going to answer me. Then he said, “I’ve been trying to figure that out. He was just a kid to us, really. Mischievous, a little manipulative, but I didn’t think he had a mean streak back then…”
He broke off, as if he’d realized he’d gone too far. “You know, we’d have probably been out of here an hour ago if you’d stayed on task and kept your mouth shut. No more chatter when we’re in here, Northsea. I’m revoking your speaking privileges inside these walls beyond yes sir and no sir.”
There was a flash of humor in his dark eyes, which glittered beneath his long, full lashes. No matter how harsh his words, he said things so levelly, sounding somehow strict and affectionate at once, that it felt like a joke we were both in on.
Something sparked in his gaze as he stared back at me, then suddenly his jaw set and he pulled his book in front of him. “You can go.”
When I headed out into the hallway, Jensen McCauley leaned against the wall, one foot braced against the wall, a paperback in his hand. He glanced up from his book, snapping it shut.
“Waiting for me? You shouldn’t have.” Well, I certainly wasn’t going to have any other boys lurking to talk to me if Jensen was around. Somehow, inexplicably, he controlled the first- and second-years at this school.
“I wanted to gloat,” he said. “McCauley, one. Northsea, zero.”
“I’m not playing your little games,” I said.
“I think you are, though.” He winked at me. “Anyway, I thought someone should make sure you made it to your room safely. Given demons seem to be stalking you.”
I glanced down the hall, raising a finger to my lips. Jensen knew too much about the demon.
“I’m pretty sure the house is a demon-free zone,” I said.
“I’m not always so sure.” He fell into step beside me as I headed down the hall.
“You seem to think you’re both my protector and my tormentor,” I said, “and you’re not welcome as either.”
“Brutal honesty,” he said. “I like it. But I’m not tormenting you when I pick on your crush with Rafe. I’m trying to save you from yourself.”
“Sure.”
A guy came out of the stairwell ahead of us and flashed a smile my way. Jensen narrowed his eyes, stepping in toward me possessively.
Oh, good grief. “Jealous, Jensen? Interesting.”
I took the stairs ahead of him, and he followed me up.
“You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means,” Jensen said.
“I don’t know why you’d try to save me from myself. You’re the one dedicated to making me quit.”
“I don’t want you to quit.”
I swung around on the landing to face him, and he stopped a few stairs down, crossing his arms over his chest. He was so big—well over six-feet tall—that it just brought us eye-to-eye.
“You’ve been trying to make me quit since I got here,” I said.
“Two different things,” he corrected. “I am going to make you quit. But I don’t want to.”
For a second, Jensen’s usual smirking mask was gone. He looked serious.
“You’re deranged,” I said flatly. There were moments I glimpsed someone I could like, even through his cocky attitude and his cruel words. But it didn’t matter. There was no way to reach him with reason. He was on Planet Jensen.
“I’d like if you stayed,” he said. “I’d love if it was a whole different world, for that matter. But we’re stuck with this one.”
I turned and took the rest of the stairs, leaving Jensen and his particular brand of crazy behind me. When I pushed through the fire door, the hall was quiet, but Penn’s door was propped open. I glanced
in the dim, cozy room, where lamps glowed on two of their desks. It smelled like boy in their room, like the best kind of boy-smell: the creamy scent of shaving cream and a hint of cologne and a warm, musky scent that was their own.
Penn glanced up from the desk to meet my gaze, and then, without comment, headed into the bathroom.
By the time I opened my bedroom door, he had passed through our shared bathroom and he was in my dorm room. I closed the door behind me and smiled at him.
“How are you doing?” He closed the distance between us, touching my hair tenderly. Penn looked at me with such affection. It was a bright spot in the rough days at the academy.
“Better now.” I smiled up at him as his hand wrapped around my hip.
His lips parted, as if he was on the verge of asking me if Jensen was being a jerk again. Then instead, he leaned down and kissed me, as if he knew exactly what I needed.
I wanted to leave everything else—everyone else—out there.
Penn’s lips were soft and gentle, not what anyone might expect from his sarcastic shell or the tattoos across his leanly muscled shoulders and arms. My body swayed against his as I relaxed into his arms. Penn felt like coming home.
His lips teased mine open, and our kisses deepened. I breathed in his scent. A faint scent of cloves and marijuana and aftershave clung to his skin, along with the deeper scent that was Penn’s own.
I frowned as I pulled back. Whispering, I asked, “Are you high, Penn?”
He shook his head. For a second, I thought he was going to deny having partaken in any of his favorite substances, but then he added, “Just taking the edge off.”
“Penn.” I was trying so hard to stay out of trouble, and he didn’t seem to care if he got kicked out of the academy or not.
“Maddie,” he mimicked me. His lips parted in the kind of smile that made his pronounced cheekbones swell. I always longed to kiss the curve of those cheeks when he smiled at me like that. “I guess if you can tell, I need to hop in the shower. Want to join me?”
I quirked my lips to one side. “I think the other guys might notice.”
“Let them notice. Their jealousy is delicious.”
I grinned at him. “Can I borrow your phone?”
“Letting me down easy, I see. You don’t like my illicit activities, except when they benefit you.” He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, then turned and headed for his room.
Well. Everyone was telling me the truth tonight, apparently, and I didn’t like it.
“I just worry about you, Penn,” I said.
“There’s nothing to worry about.” He disappeared through the bathroom, and returned a minute later, carrying his burner cell phone. “Maybe they care in your pack, but most shifters don’t give a damn, even about the harder stuff.”
Yeah, the packs were rife with drug abuse. That didn’t make me feel better.
Rafe had already talked to him once about the scent of marijuana in his room. I tried not to, but I couldn’t help the look I gave Penn, who crossed his arms, his jaw tensing.
“Penn, don’t be mad,” I said, but he was already slipping out of my room.
He stopped in the doorway. “I’m not mad. Mad isn’t what I feel when you give me that look, like I’m the biggest fucking disappointment.”
“Penn—” I said.
But he was already closing the door between us with a click.
Ugh. I’d give him time to cool down, then I’d try again. I sat on the edge of my bed, texting Piper.
Hey, sis. It’s M. How are you and those babies doing?
We’re good. Are YOU ok? M, you shouldn’t have a phone…
I just wanted to check in on you
Don’t worry about me. I have these overbearing men of mine taking care of me. YOU stay out of trouble and show them how awesome you are. ;)
I blew out a sigh. That wasn’t going so well. And Piper, who had enough to worry about, was about to realize just how bad it was.
I fidgeted with the phone, debating my next move. If I called Piper before Rafe talked to her, she might give away that I’d talked to her. I’d be getting Penn in trouble.
On the other hand, I could trust my sister. She already knew I was breaking the rules.
I blew out another deep breath and dialed her number with my thumb. Piper almost never got mad at me. Maybe that made her disappointment even harder to bear. My heart raced as I waited for her to pick up, faster than it ever did when I was heading into a fight, and I chewed my lower lip.
“Maddie?” Her voice was warm, full of love, and it made sudden tears come to my eyes unexpectedly.
I missed her—and her mates—so much. I hadn’t realized it until I heard her voice.
“Hey.” I swiped the tears away. At least my voice sounded normal enough. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t a crier. And there was no reason to be so miserable.
“Are you okay?” she asked, a note of worry in her voice.
Maybe I didn’t sound normal to someone who knew me so well, either.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve got to talk to you about something, Piper.”
“On your illicit phone that you’re not supposed to have?” Her voice was gently teasing. “You know I made those rules, Maddie.”
“Yeah, and I have questions.”
“You should be bonding with your fellow wolves,” she reminded me. “Without distractions, you have to learn to depend on each other with your lives and for your fun.”
“There isn’t a lot of fun here,” I said.
She sighed faintly, under her breath. “Just hang in there. You’re tougher than you even realize. That is what you’ll learn there most of all.”
“Maybe you don’t know. Maybe this isn’t the same place you left,” I shot back. “Given that they kicked you out as dean.”
There was silence for a few long seconds. I bit my lip, worrying it between my teeth. I shouldn’t have said that, at least not that way.
“The packs are complicated, Maddie. There’s good and bad there.” She spoke finally, with so much certainty in her voice. “But we’re worth fighting for.”
She was hard to argue with.
I could feel her anxiety through the phone, even before she asked, “What’s wrong?”
Guilt twisted through my gut. My pregnant-and-about-to-burst sister shouldn’t have to worry about me. I’d figure out what was going on with my ‘father’, and she could focus on those babies.
“I just wanted to tell you I can’t come home this weekend.” At least once I said the words, I was committed. “I got into a fight with one of the guys here and now I’m on restriction.”
“Oh,” she said. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m so sorry, Piper.” Once the dam broke, all my guilt rushed out. Piper had taken care of me and put me first all her life. “I wanted to be there for you and for the babies. I was so stupid to get myself in this situation where I can’t take care of you like you’ve always taken care of me.”
Piper broke into my apology. “Maddie. It’s okay. I have my men.”
Her voice was sweet but exasperated, and I paused, frowning.
“I don’t want you in the delivery room with me, honey. I’m going to have the eight of them. It’s already going to be a party in there. Well, not for me.” Her smile carried through the phone.
I’d thought she’d want me there as her sister, the only woman in our family. But now I realized I never really asked. I’d been so self-centered to assume. “Oh.”
“Are you disappointed?” She sounded gentle and understanding, but she didn’t apologize for what she wanted.
I wished I had her combination of sweetness and certainty.
“No,” I lied. “I want you to have whatever you want, Piper. It’s your day.”
It wasn’t about me.
“You know you can handle anything the academy throws at you,” she reminded me.
“Do I?” I smiled when I said it, hoping she’d hear it as lightly as I me
ant it.
“Maybe you don’t remember that at this very moment in time,” she told me. “But I know you can. Now lose the damn phone, girl. I don’t want you to be on restriction forever.”
She was right. I could handle life at the academy, from Jensen McCauley to whatever witchcraft stalked me.
But I needed answers. I needed to get off campus and find my father.
I needed help.
I needed Lex.
Chapter Three
Lex
“Dani stopped by earlier,” Rafe said when the two of us were going over the plan for PT the next day.
“What did she want?”
“She wondered if we wanted to go to the Hunters’ academy with her this weekend. Visit Will.”
I nodded. I hadn’t seen Will since before school started, and normally we spent a lot of time together. His sister, Eliza, had been a mentor, and she’d meant a lot to me. Will loved to talk about her, from the good times we’d shared to what a great fighter she’d been.
He didn’t feel he could talk about all that with his father, but at least we had each other to keep her memory alive.
“You in?” he asked.
“You want to go? With Dani?”
“Why not?” Rafe’s piercing dark gaze locked on mine.
He already knew why not.
Dani was smart and sweet and paid more attention to me than I wanted right now.
I was pretty devoted to ignoring Maddie Northsea at the moment.
There was a quick knock on our door, a decisive tap-tap of two knuckles, and I had a funny feeling I knew who that was. Rafe was already up off the couch and beat me to answering the door.
When he swung the door open, Maddie stood in the hall. Her arms were folded across her chest in her dark blue blazer.
She wore that ridiculous plaid skirt, the one that ended several inches up her lean, toned, muscular thighs. I glanced away. My cock and my heart both ached every damn time I was close to her.
“Good evening, gentlemen,” she said, even though even whenever she said sir or gentlemen, it didn’t sound particularly respectful on her lips.
