by May Dawson
“I don’t,” he said, answering a question we hadn’t asked yet.
“You don’t know anything,” I said. “But you think we’re in danger for asking about the nothing you know?”
“Yep,” Reefer said. “Exactly.”
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble,” Jensen began.
“If you didn’t want to cause me any trouble, you wouldn’t ring my doorbell at one o’clock in the morning, and you wouldn’t do it to ask about Eliza.”
“You two were friends,” Jensen said it confidently.
I wondered how much he remembered about Reefer.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Do you really think she died like they said?” Jensen’s voice came out level, cool. He sounded genuinely curious.
Reefer hesitated. “No.”
“Are you saying that just because I’m her brother?”
“Nope. I don’t have to lie when I’m the one with all the guns.” Reefer flashed him a tight smile. “I told you to sit.”
Jensen took a seat on the edge of the couch, although the tension in his muscles made me think of a coiled snake, poised to strike.
I sat on the edge of the sofa next to him, resting my hands on my knees, feeling as awkward as if I’d never sat on a couch before in my life.
“Why’d you leave the patrols?” I asked Reefer quietly.
“Why are you trying to join them?” he shot back.
“Because I want to protect our packs from the covens,” I said, exchanging a glance with Jensen.
“Once you realize that’s seventy-percent bullshit, you’ll have to find another reason,” Reefer said. “I couldn’t come up with one.”
“What do you mean, it’s bullshit?” I demanded.
“I’m not interested in ruining your innocence, girlie,” he said, then flashed me a bright smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Not that way, anyhow.”
Jensen eased forward, his muscles tightening as if he didn’t like that at all, but he rested his hand on my thigh possessively as if holding me back.
“What do you think happened to Eliza?” Jensen asked evenly, reminding me that nothing else mattered.
“I don’t want to speculate,” he said. “I got out of the patrols for a reason. I didn’t want to be the council’s bitch. But that doesn’t mean I want to piss them off, either.”
“You think the Council covered up how Eliza died?”
Reefer cocked his head to one side. He seemed to waver between wanting to talk to us and wanting to order us out of his house, or maybe shoot us, and the tension was driving me crazy. I just wanted answers for Jensen.
Reefer asked, “Why should I talk to you anyway?”
“Because I’m going to get justice for Eliza,” Jensen said.
Reefer snorted. “Good fucking luck, kid. If the Council covered up with what happened to their patrol, it’s done and over.”
His gaze softened as he took in Jensen, and he leaned against the wall, the shotgun gripped lazily in one dangling hand now. “Let me give you some advice. It doesn’t matter what anyone says about her. You know the truth.”
“It matters to me,” Jensen said stubbornly.
“That’s because you’re young and stupid. Eventually you’ll learn it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. It just matters who you are.”
“Deep philosophical thoughts,” Jensen muttered.
“Thoughts that will keep you from getting yourself killed.” Reefer leveled him a dark look. “I’m betting that’s what Eliza would have wanted.”
Jensen met his gaze, his chin lifting. “Did you know someone survived?”
Reefer’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean, someone survived?”
“I found testimony about that night from a survivor. But I don’t know who it was.” Jensen hesitated. “He blamed Eliza for everything, so if he lied… do you have any ideas who it might have been? Anyone who had a grudge against my sister?”
Reefer blew out a slow whistle. “Well, I thought we were all pretty tight-knit before I left. It was the hardest thing about leaving the teams.”
“Your teams were special. You didn’t go back to your own packs when you graduated the academy,” Jensen filled in.
“Right. We were supposed to be the Council’s Own.” Reefer’s sour tone showed how he felt about that. “But people were still loyal to their own packs. Maybe too loyal.”
Thoughtfully, he added, “Alejandro Guerro thought women shouldn’t be in the patrols. He always seemed like he cared about Eliza anyway, but you might want to talk to him.”
Jensen nodded, his jaw tight.
Reefer seemed to be thinking, then he said slowly, “I saw a weird thing the other day.”
“What’s that?”
“I did a job for the alpha of the Kierney pack,” he said, “And in their bar, I saw a sword I’ve seen before.”
“Seen where?” Jensen demanded.
“In Eliza McCauley’s hand,” Reefer said.
“How’d you know it was hers?” I asked.
“She carried a lighter saber than the rest of us. The guys gave her shit about it because she was jacked but she chose to use a non-reg sword once we were out of the academy. And she used to carve runes into the hilt of her weapons.” Reefer said it as if it didn’t mean much to him. “We teased her for being so superstitious.”
Interesting.
Those runes weren’t a sign she was superstitious.
Eliza McCauley had used magic.
Chapter Eighteen
Lex
Dani insisted on dragging us to a party when we finally neared the Hunters’ academy.
“I’m not sure Rafe can handle it, given that he’s slept most of the time, including after foiling a convenience store hoist,” I said.
I glanced her way, trying to get a read on her. She seemed easy and light-hearted again, but I wondered if she was doing okay after that situation.
Maybe she needed the party. Or maybe she was trying to hold it together, and what she needed was to go home and get some rest.
“I didn’t foil it,” Rafe corrected. “Dani foiled it.”
“That’s what I like best about you guys,” Dani said. “You’re all so humble.”
I grinned at that, but she went on, “You don’t take credit for things that you don’t need to.”
“If you have enough credit to your own name, you don’t have to steal anyone else’s glory,” Rafe said.
“Turn it off,” I told him.
“What?” he frowned.
“You’re still talking like you’re talking to cadets. Imparting life lessons like you’re Gandhi with a fucking sword.”
“That makes no sense, Lex. Gandhi would definitely never carry a sword.”
Dani laughed. “Come on. Loosen up and have some fun—you don’t have to worry about impressing-slash-terrorizing these cadets.”
We got out of the car into a quiet little country town. I frowned around us, wondering why such a sleepy town looked like it had been hit by a bomb at some point. “What happened here?”
“I’ll tell you over a beer,” she said.
She led us into a tavern full of Hunters. As every face swiveled toward us, I tensed. It was a good thing I’d left my sword in the car, or it would have been in my hand. As it was, a few of the occupants raised their arms, gripping the hilts of their sheathed swords.
“You let your cadets carry weapons when they drink?” I asked. “Seems like a good plan.”
“Unfortunately, it’s proven to be necessary,” she muttered, which didn’t exactly make me want to relax and have a few beers. She raised her hands as she spoke loudly to the crowd. “Hey, they’re friends of mine. Friends of Will’s. Be nice.”
“Lex! Rafe!” Will burst out of the crowd, grinning. His dark hair was close-cropped, but he looked so ;like Jensen, except that his eyes were a darker shade of gold as they flashed in his tan face. He folded me in a hug, then moved on to Rafe, who gave his usual small, relucta
nt smile as he hugged Will back. Rafe was not a hugger. “What are you two doing here?”
“Dani convinced us to come up and surprise you on the holiday weekend.”
“Right, these heathens don’t celebrate Saint Cain’s birthday,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course, you don’t let those kids off for Columbus Day weekend like they do—”
“Tell me about Saint Cain,” Dani said, but it was my arm that she caught in her hand, turning me toward her with a smile on her face. “We definitely don’t worship murderers. I want to know all about this.”
“Oh, he’s so much more than a murderer,” Will said, always happy to evangelize for the lost book of Cain.
I grinned and gently removed Dani’s hand from my arm before I wandered to the bar. I loved Will, but I couldn’t listen to his spiel one more time.
By the time I came back with a round for us all, they’d gathered at a table. I told Rafe, “You’re right. I think this is what I needed.”
“I’m always right,” he said, taking a sip from his beer. “You just periodically forget that and have to be reminded.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, Rafe.”
Someone bumped into our table, a laughing girl being reeled out by a guy she was dancing with. He smiled at us over her shoulder as he pulled her back into his arms. “Sorry.”
“Go away, Tristan,” Dani said, waving them away but smiling like she didn’t really mean it. “I got quite enough of you and Deidra during the school days, and I bet Will feels the same way.”
Tristan flashed her a teasingly pouty look over his shoulder, as if he was hurt, but the dark-haired girl slid her hands up his chest, and the two of them stumbled away. They seemed so happy, so lost in each other, and it made a familiar ache open up in my chest.
I’d been lonely for a long time after I left my pack. But then I’d found friends at the academy, and it hadn’t hurt much anymore.
Now, after breaking up with Maddie, I felt lonely all over again.
“Come on.” Will smacked my shoulder. “Tell me about the new batch of first-years.”
I groaned. “Shots first.”
The four of us talked and drank and laughed and drank. Will seemed happy here. He seemed far more comfortable than I would have expected.
“Okay, okay, I’m still trying to figure out the pack politics,” Dani said.
I groaned. “Nope.”
“You don’t want to talk about it because I’m with the Hunters or because…”
“Because it sucks!” I said.
“What pack are you from?” She leveled her finger at me, her eyes alight with mischief as she ignored my request. And she was also ignoring my two friends, which seemed to be a rather frequent occurrence.
“The Kierney pack,” I said flatly. “Territory is in the Carolinas.”
“What’s it like?” she asked curiously. “Having a pack?”
“Imagine your family is huge and dysfunctional…” I began.
She jerked her thumb toward herself. “Small and dysfunctional family here.”
“Yeah, let’s talk about you,” Will said, rescuing me. “I heard your brother is a demon?”
“Half-demon,” she replied, and Rafe’s eyebrows lifted. “And he’s a better man than most.”
None of us missed the fierce, protective edge to her voice. She smiled as if to soften her words, adding, “Both my parents are witches. The bad kind.”
Rafe snorted.
She turned her gaze on him as Will reached out and smacked his arm. Will and Rafe exchanged a quick look, but Rafe’s jaw was taking on a familiar, stubborn set.
“What’s with you and magic?” Dani asked Rafe.
Rafe shrugged. “I just think it’s dangerous. It’s addictive. Look how many people have gotten lost in it.”
“We’re not all like that,” she said, but she hesitated. We all knew she had a dark history, no matter how bright her smile.
“But most are,” Rafe said. He stood as if he couldn’t handle the conversation anymore, but paused, asking, “Anyone want something else from the bar?”
When he’d left, Dani asked, “What’s his problem, really?”
“His brother was addicted to magic,” Will said.
“Will,” I warned. “That’s not our story to talk about.”
“It’s not like he’s ever going to talk about it,” Will pointed out.
I shook my head, irritated by the conversation. Rafe and I promised a long time ago to have each other’s backs, to always tell each other the truth and be one-hundred-percent honest.
After growing up in my pack, where everyone played some twisted game, it meant a lot to me to trust people. It meant even more to be trusted.
We’d been having so much fun before the conversation soured, and Dani must have thought the same thing, because she pulled a face. “Sorry I killed the vibe.”
“It’s all right,” I said. “I think I could go for another beer after all. I’ll go help Rafe. Sure you want anything?”
Will raised his still half-full glass.
“Best catch up,” I told him lightly, before heading for the bar.
To my surprise, while I was waiting for the bartender, Dani squeezed in beside me. “I have a question for you,” she said, her voice breathless.
“Okay.” I stared down at her, perplexed.
“What do you think about magic?” she asked.
I ran my hand through my hair. The shifters I knew might hate magic, but even without it, some of them were power-hungry and cruel as the covens.
“I think anything that involves human beings is a hot fucking mess,” I said. I certainly hadn’t needed magic to fuck up and hurt Maddie. At their core, shifters and witches were as human as anyone else.
It wasn’t the wolf inside me that made me hurt people I cared about.
She watched me expectantly, her dark eyes shining curiously under the dim lights of the bar.
“I think magic can be used for good or evil,” I said. “Just like money. Just like anything.”
“You don’t agree with Rafe,” she said.
“No, but he’s entitled to his perspective.” He was more than entitled after losing his brother.
She nodded, but she looked satisfied. “I came to order a round of shots. We all need shots.”
“God, yes we do,” I agreed, and she grinned at me.
The rest of the night passed in a pleasant, buzzed blur. Dani tried to get Rafe and me to dance with her, and we politely demurred before throwing Will under the bus. Will had always loved dancing. While the two of them swung around to the lively band, Rafe glanced at me across the table.
“What are we doing here?” he asked.
“You wanted us to come.” I ignored his real question. If he thought there was something between Dani and me, he was an idiot.
Anyone could tell Maddie was mine, and that meant I was hers too, no matter how fucked up everything had gotten.
When we were ready to leave, Dani caught some underclass Hunter and offered them a ride back to campus as long as they drove. Soon, she and Will led us up to a big suite-style dorm room with two couches in the living room and doors to either side.
“The Hunters have nicer digs than we do,” I told Rafe. “I think we should make the academies compete with each other on quality-of-life.”
“Good luck,” Will said. “Pretty sure one of the foundational tenets at the academy is that misery develops character.”
I collapsed on the futon, already falling into an exhausted, dreamy, drunken sleep.
I woke up when someone crawled into bed with me. I’d been dreaming about a summer day with Maddie, and for a second, I thought it was her. I buried my face in her hair as I slid my arm across her waist, but she didn’t smell like strawberries.
I stiffened as Dani slipped her head against my shoulder.
“Sorry.” She smiled up at me in the dark. “Space is at a premium on campus. They gave my room to someone else when I left. Very rude.”
“Dani,” I said. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“It’s not that serious, Lex,” she said.
“It’s serious to me.” I sat up, putting some distance between the two of us even though my head swam.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Sore subject. “No.”
“Then why…?”
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so as much as I didn’t want to talk about it, I gave in and told her truth. “I don’t have a girlfriend, but there’s someone I care about.”
“Why aren’t you dating her then?”
“It’s complicated.”
“After hearing that whole crazy story about Saint Cain, I’m thinking you shifters make everything complicated.”
I laughed. “You aren’t wrong.”
“Hunters keep things a lot more simple,” she said. “We like fighting, we like flirting, we like fucking. As long as it’s fun, there’s no reason to take things too seriously.”
She ran her hand up my chest, and despite myself, my body stirred at her touch. She added, “I’m not trying to get you to fall in love with me. I’m not looking for that.”
“Then what are you looking for?” I caught her wrist in my hand and pulled it away from my chest.
“You’re not stupid, Lex. You know what I want.”
“I can’t.” I squeezed her hand in mine and let go. “You’re something, Dani. Your magic fascinates me, and I love your…liveliness. I want to be your friend.”
“You don’t look at me like you want to be my friend.”
I shook my head. “Well, trust me. That’s all I have to offer right now. Try Rafe.”
She snorted. “Rafe is worse than you are in terms of the pointless crush.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Sometimes I thought Rafe had feelings for Maddie, just from the way he looked at her. But he judged me so harshly for wanting Maddie.
She shook her head. “You’ll figure it out eventually. I hope. And maybe you’ll figure out how to turn your devotion into a relationship.”
Devotion. It was a strange word and not one I would have applied to my relationship with Maddie. When she said it like that, it sounded absurd. “There are reasons we can’t be together.”
