by T L Bradford
“Ultimately you did not get your wish. Josh did not die slowly. He lived. You, however, won’t be so lucky. You will die very, very slowly, in your own personal hell.”
I lift the needle and put the vial into his tube and watch as my father’s eyes panic, blinking rapidly, then close. I put the needle back into my pocket then lean over to kiss my father on the forehead. Then I walk out of the room.
I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after all.
Irony’s a bitch.
Chapter 50
Josh
Ikeep great pace with Noah today on our early morning run. Every day he pushes a little further, and I’m right there on his heels. We’re almost home when we spot Mrs. Jennings across the street removing groceries from the back of her car. She waves and we re-route to talk with her.
“How’s my favorite girl! Where have you been keeping yourself? I haven’t seen you around lately. I was starting to get worried,” Noah says. We both give her hugs that nearly swallow her whole.
“No need to worry; I was visiting a family friend down in Florida for a while.”
“Okay, anyone I need to be jealous of?” Noah quips.
“Now you stop that flirting. There’s no need for that anymore.” Clara’s eyes move between the two of us knowingly.
“How else can I score me some cobbler?”
“Sweetie, you can have my cobbler anytime you want,” she replies with sass.
“Now who’s being the flirt? Clara, it’s been a little while, and life has been crazy these past few months. I never got a chance to thank you properly for being there for me the night Josh was attacked. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know what the outcome would have been. I was so far gone. Your quick thinking and actions saved his life. I can never thank you enough.”
“Sweetheart, I was glad to help out. You were so distraught; I’ve never seen you that disturbed. You’re like my own son. I would have done anything for you. Hell, you’re better than my son,” she chuckles. “And I always knew how important Josh was to you.”
She takes my cheek in her hand and rubs her thumb over it. “You always knew about me, didn’t you?” I say to her.
“It never mattered to me, honey. I never told you this before, but my first husband ended up being gay. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. We’re still great friends. The reason I went to Florida was to make arrangements for my move.”
“You’re moving to Florida?” I ask her.
“Yes, he and I are going to be roomies. This was the best situation. I have someone to live with and take care of me who isn’t one of my thieving children and he gets someone to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race with. It all worked out quite nicely.”
We all share a chuckle. “You be sure to let us know before you move so we can have you over for dinner, okay?” I say.
“You betcha, and I’ll be sure to bring you boys my cobbler.”
When we reach the house, I’m winded and ready to take a break.
“Not bad old man,” Noah teases me.
“You either, even older man,” I jab right back. I hunch over, trying to catch my breath. The run got me going this morning. My appetite is huge today. I stand in front of the fridge and prepare to take out some eggs for breakfast when Noah stops me.
“How about we go out for breakfast this morning? My treat.”
“Alright. That sounds like a plan. Maybe after we can stop by Xander and Sarita’s? They have a BBQ at their place this afternoon.”
“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”
“Sweet. Now, let’s do our part to conserve water and combine that shower.”
“You’re going to be the death of me; you know that?”
“That’s my plan.” I run upstairs, finding my breath again while he chases after me.
The past few months have been a whirlwind for everyone. Xander moved out here a few weeks ago and into Sarita’s place. They make for a quirky couple, but somehow, they suit each other perfectly. They’re probably the only two that can match each other wit for wit. I’ve got to say, I initially had my doubts, but as a couple, they’re knocking it out of the park. It’s great to see Sarita happy and opening up. I even saw her wearing a pair of jeans the other day. Wonders never cease.
With Sarita spending most of her time with Xander, Olive has more time to focus on her fashion blog and social media. She’s making bank on her YouTube channel doing health and beauty tips. Kai, who guests on her channel from time to time, has become her new BFF. Her nutty humor and his sensibility play well off of each other.
Kai finished his indie film in the Spring. It will be premiering at film festivals this summer. From what I’ve heard, it’s getting a lot of great buzz, so it seems as though Kai may be on the fast track to superstardom.
He and Noah still hang out, it’s a situation I’m admittedly still adjusting to, but I know where Noah’s heart lies and that’s with me.
We spend the majority of our time free time with Gemma and Ash, who last month found out they are expecting their first baby. They were extremely excited but worried about what that meant for their characters on the show. Of course, never ones to miss a golden opportunity, Steph and Genie wrote their pregnancy into the show. This way, the audience can experience all the morning sickness and every labor pain right along with them.
Our YA crew will expand by one member in a few months. Archer has signed with the LA Rams as a starting QB. He got a super sweet multi-million-dollar deal. He’s been lying low though, telling only a scant few about the news. I’m not sure what went down to secure him his place, but he doesn’t seem ready to talk about it yet. He’ll be staying with Noah and me temporarily until his new home is built. I’ll have plenty of time to talk to him about it then.
Noah and I have been going strong and are happier than ever. The set has been abuzz with news of #JAX upcoming nuptials. Yep, next week Jace and Max are going to elope in Vegas after a drunken shameless hookup. I’m sure hilarity will ensue. We’ve been enjoying shooting our scenes together. It’s been so long that the characters have been broken up. In no time at all, we found our groove and got back into the thick of it. The audience has been loving it. Ratings have been through the freakin’ roof.
We’ve been talking lately and jointly decided that we want our characters to go out on top, so we have discussed with Steph and Genie our exit plan from the show. What we all came up with was over the next year Jace and Max would wrap up their story and leave the town of Greenfield for greener pastures. They were sad to hear our choice but appreciated that we gave them ample time to work with the new storyline.
Post-Americana, Noah has expressed his desire to teach film and acting. He is hoping to secure a teaching position at UCLA. It’s his calling and where he excels. I support him 100%. It’s phenomenal to see him grow and overcome his fears. It’s part of his homework for the help he now gets with his speech therapist. Noah was always more about the craft of acting, so it was a natural transition.
I want to pursue my writing full time. I’ve been bouncing a few ideas around but have yet to narrow down a single one. I am taking a few online courses to get my skills sharpened as well as a creative writing class two times a week. It fulfills me in a way football never did. I’m living my best life.
After all the bad shit that went down with the attack, the recovery process has been slow but progressing. Healthwise, I’m much better. I’m still in physical therapy and will be for some time. My active lifestyle has helped me bounce back quicker than expected.
I’m clumsier than before because my depth perception is skewed with vision in only my one eye. I also take classes that help me adapt to my vision loss. We do a lot of hand, eye coordination techniques to help me. Initially, I hated it, but it’s not so bad since I’ve finally come to accept my situation. It’s not going to change, so I can whine like a little bitch and annoy everyone, or I can cowboy up and deal with it. I have opted for the latter.
Noah’s awesome about helping
me out when I need support. He doesn’t smother me, allowing me to do as much for myself as I can. He does most of the driving while I man the playlists. In that regard, I guess not much has changed.
One thing that has changed is that we both attend meetings for PTSD. Noah came clean to me about the abusive horrors of his past. The full detail of the abuse he received mortified me. It explained so much, about the nightmares and the panic attacks.
About an hour later, we leave and start cruising up the Pacific Coast Highway. I’m getting curious about where we are going since we’ve been driving for a while. Our usual place is not far from our house.
“What the hell, Noah, are we going to Narnia for this place or what?”
He softly chuckles, “Relax, it’s a new place I heard about. It’s supposed to be excellent. I heard they have the best huevos rancheros and chilaquiles.”
“You had me at huevos. Carry on.” I kick back in the Jeep seat and take in the beauty we pass. A little over a half hour later, we pull off to the side of the road and take a short drive up a rocky driveway. Up ahead is a half-brick, half-panel sided, white two-story house with a wrap-around porch. It is surrounded by a shady grove of very large willow trees on either side of the driveway. What strikes me about the house is how similar it looks to my own family home growing up.
“Is this a B&B?”
“You could say that.”
He parks the Jeep in front of the house. Ours is the only car, so I am highly suspicious of what we are doing here. Noah jumps out and heads to the large red front door, magically pulling a separate set of keys from his pocket.
“Seriously, man, what are we doing here? Are we going to get busted for breaking and entering? I’m not ending up in a tabloid segment again. My reputation still hasn’t recovered from that shot of me taking a header down the stairs at the awards show last month.”
“It was your depth perception issue; people know that.”
“They said I was drunk.”
“You were.”
“That’s beside the point; we’re getting off topic, what the hell are we doing here?”
He doesn’t answer me; he proceeds to take the keys and open the front door. Inside there is no furniture, but even without it, I can see what a beautiful place it is. It’s deceptive from the outside which looks traditional/conventional, but inside it has been remodeled and is modern, but still comfortable — a fusion of our two styles.
I turn on my heel to address Noah, but before I can open my mouth, he says, “Merry Christmas babe!”
I look at him in utter confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“It took a lot longer than I expected, but this is your late Christmas present!”
I take a sweeping look around the living room we are standing in. “Have you lost your mind? How could you give me a house?”
“We’ve been talking about how we would re-decorate the house to accommodate your style into mine. It got me thinking. When I walk into our backyard, all I see are the memories of that night. Why don’t we find a new place to make happier memories?”
“So…you bought this house?”
“No, I didn’t buy this house. I’m saying we bought this house; if you like it.”
I must have an incredulous look on my face because Noah is furrowing his brow waiting impatiently for my response. “Are you serious? This is our house?”
“If you want it.”
I spin around to look at everything.
“Oh, I want it. I want you.” I run over to Noah and throw my arms around his neck to kiss him. I cannot believe this is happening. It has to be a dream. When I’m able to get myself under control, we walk around the house to explore every room. It is a large four-bedroom home with a lot of character and detailed woodwork. I tell him how much I love it and that it reminds me of my childhood home.
“That’s why I wanted this particular house for you.”
“Four bedrooms? What are we going to do with all that space?”
“Well, I figure one is for us obviously, one for you to set up a writing room. And the other two for guests or…if we expand our family.”
“You want children with me?”
“More than anything. Josh, I’m in this for good. You are my future. There is no doubt. I don’t want to wait any longer.”
He takes his hands and places them on my face, forcing me to focus on him. “You will own this home with me. It’s an investment for us both. Do you understand what that means? Owning this home will give you financial clout, not to mention clean up your credit.”
“Holy shit, you’re right! I can’t believe you did this. You thought of everything. This house has all the things I could have wished for! I can never thank you enough, Noah.” Tears flood my eyes, and I grip him tightly in a useless attempt to stop him from seeing me ugly cry. We stand there in the kitchen, him holding my head to his chest as we rock back and forth.
In my ear, I hear him whisper, “I have one more surprise for you. But you need to find it.”
“Find it?” I croak out.
“Yes, it’s somewhere here in the house.” I take off like a shot, opening every door and cabinet both upstairs and down. I can hear Noah laughing from downstairs as he watches me desperately look for the gift.
“Is it on you?” I ask. “It’s not beneath me to frisk you,” I say out of breath from running.
“No, but that’s not a bad idea, let’s save it for later. You forgot one spot.” His eyes drift to the door off from the kitchen. I follow the path and find that the door leads to the garage. In that garage sits a shiny brand-new Honda Passport.
I am frozen in place, staring at the car. Behind me, I hear him, “I thought it was about time you upgraded your Honda.”
“You didn’t.” I’m still not turning around to look at him.
“I did.”
“You did not,” I insist.
“I did. Tobias pulled my trust fund when I moved in with my mother. As the official executor to my father’s estate, I have access to the accounts. I promised myself that I would not touch my trust fund money for myself because it felt like blood money. But, if I used it for good for someone else in a positive way, it could be justified. No one deserves that money more than you. You sacrificed a part of your life for what he did to you. Consider this the final ‘fuck you’ to Tobias. I don’t want you ever to think you need to repay me for this. This will never give back what he has taken from you, but I hope on some level, it can give you a little peace of mind and a sense of justice.”
Noah walks to me and hands me the key. I take it and open the door. He knows me so well. I’m not into flashy pretentious toys. It’s cobalt blue with a red ribbon on top. It’s the perfect road trip car. Hanging from the rear-view mirror are the truck nuts. I laugh. “I love it!” I am choked with emotion. Noah hugs me again, leaning his head down to put the side of his face into my hair, breathing me in the way I know he loves to.
With snot in my nose, crusty tears in my eyes and my hair all crazy from running my excited fingers through it, I hear him say, “You’re beautiful when you’re happy.” Damn. I hit the jackpot with this guy. I reach up and pull his mouth down to mine, placing a long passionate kiss on his lips. “Why don’t we take this upstairs to our new bedroom?”
“Okay, but if I remember correctly, I was promised Huevos Rancheros.”
“You’ll get your huevos, alright.” I laugh and hug him again.
Turning suddenly serious, he says, “I love you, Joshua Evan Hill.”
“I love you too, Noah Sinclair. Hey, you never did tell me. What is your middle name?”
He screws up his face a little, then says, “Don’t laugh okay, promise?”
“I promise.”
“Ezekiel.”
I put my head back down to his chest. “Yeah, let’s just keep that little secret to ourselves.”
Epilogue
10:47 am
“She had big brown eyes, light brown skin and dark curly ha
ir. Oh! And I almost forgot she had the cutest little apple cheeks you’ve ever seen. Did I mention the dimple in her chin?”
“Yes, we’re going to find her one day Noah, she’s going to be our daughter.”
11:15 am
“Josh, we’re not getting anything done.”
“What do you mean? We got the mattress up here. That was a pain in the ass. Now we’re taking a rest on said mattress.”
“We have so much to do. When are the guys coming to help us move?”
“Not until later, Kai had an audition, Xander and Sarita are still on vacay. Ash is taking care of Gemma, who is sick as a dog. It’s just you and me for a while.”
11:32 am
“So, those were my ideas. I like the last one the best, but I don’t know if I feel invested enough in it to do a screenplay about it.”
“There’s a lot of detail that goes into that story, that type of movie would be really expensive. Maybe you could start with a simpler story. It would be easier to produce and allow the writing to take a front seat.”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
“And besides, you can always put your bigger ideas into a book instead of a screenplay.”
“A book. I like that. I need a way to come up with some good ideas.”
12:23 pm
“Fuck Josh, we haven’t moved anything in like…I don’t know…hours.”
“I don’t think it’s safe for us to move heavy furniture in our current condition. Pass it.”
“But we have to take the truck back at 5:00 pm.”
“We’ll finish; don’t worry.”
1:05pm
“And I didn’t believe it, but it was true. If you press down into your belly button, you have a weird, uncomfortable feeling. It happens to everyone. It’s because you’re stimulating fibers lining the inside of your stomach which then sends a message to your spinal cord. And because your spinal cord is near the same place, it also sends signals to your bladder. So, if you poke your belly button, you have to piss.”
