I sincerely doubt that. I’ve seen first hand what Carter’s like with girls.
“Yeah, man. Cool.”
We used to hunt for frogs along the lake’s edge, skip rocks, and scrape our knees on the trails. Somewhere along the way, I blinked and Carter changed from the kid I befriended in middle school.
“What’s the deal? You’re losing your touch. Usually you’d have pounded her and been done within a week. I heard Marissa complaining to Elena. She’s getting all antsy that you’re still avoiding her.”
I have no idea what Marissa has to do with any of this.
Carter leans closer. “What’s your next plan for taking that chick down a peg?”
I falter, searching for an answer I don’t have. There are no other plans. I haven’t thought about the bet I started in a while, too absorbed in Gemma. I don’t care about destroying her anymore. I just want her.
My eyes cut to Alec on the bench. I suck on my teeth and endure the roll of guilt moving through my chest. I feel a little shitty talking about his sister with him right there. Hopefully he can’t hear us.
“I’m going slow with her. Making her fall for me.”
Carter guffaws. “Sick, brother. You’re ruthless. You’re not just going to break that prude, you’re going to obliterate her. She’ll never think twice about crossing you again.”
A shadow of doubt punches me in the stomach. I started all this. This is my fault for turning my friends on her.
But I can’t regret it.
Not when it drove Gemma into my arms.
She’s mine now and I’m not letting her go.
The darkness runs deep in me. It’s not just possessiveness over her. This is more than that.
I want to keep her to myself all the time. I wasn’t kidding when I admitted to her I fantasized about watching her through her bedroom window.
“Yeah…” My jaw works and I push off the fence. “Come on, let’s go over the next play with Coach before halftime ends.”
Carter follows closely, grating on my mounting agitation.
I need everyone to back the hell off.
More importantly, I need Gemma. I’m restless as fuck and she’s the only thing that’ll cure it. She’s like my drug and I’m taking hit after hit without control.
It scares me a little, how deep she’s burrowed under my skin and become my obsession. I thought I knew where I drew the line. When it comes to Gemma, I’m barreling across every one to get to her.
I throw myself into the rest of the game to get Gemma out of my head.
Twenty
Gemma
The tires crunch on the gravel as I pull up to Lucas’ house. A distinct wave of déjà vu has me pausing next to a pearl white Escalade. The scene is just like before: people spilling onto the property from every crevice of the house—on the deck, the wraparound porch, all the way down to the dock.
No brave (crazy) skinny dippers this time, the chill of fall firmly settled over Ridgeview.
This whole week has been raining on and off. The ground is soggy when I get out of the car, the dampness lingering like an oppressive fog in the air. The wet chill seeps bone deep, wrapping around me like inescapable tendrils of ice.
It feels like the rain might pick up again at any second, the sky ominous and heavy with clouds, no stars in sight.
Despite how badass I often feel in my leather jacket, it was not the right choice of outerwear tonight. Shivering, I hug my body.
Thanks for making me get out of my cozy sweats, butthead.
This is the second party I’ve been sent to so I can drag Alec home.
I wait expectantly for the sick gurgle in my stomach, but it doesn’t come on as strong as the first time I was here. I wonder if it has anything to do with the boat ride with Lucas that’s been confusing me since it happened.
Pushing through the crowd of drunken party goers still isn’t easy, upset stomach or not. I do a quick scan of the deck and come up empty on Operation: Alec Retrieval.
Everyone is celebrating the three day weekend.
Elena is playing beer pong with the same football player, his hands on her hips as he bounces to the hip-hop beat blasting from the sound system. She’s killing it. The shot she sinks is sweet as hell.
“Gemma!” Elena spots me and bounds over, abandoning the game. “Jackson, it’s all you for a bit, babe!”
The football player waves. “I’ve got this.”
“I’m so glad you came!”
“Don’t get too excited. I’m here to pick up Alec, that’s all.”
Elena gives me a dramatic pout. It won’t change my mind.
“Have you seen him around?”
“Inside, I think. Or check the porch, he was getting close with Sasha Pierce a while ago.”
I think that’s the name of the girl that sat in his lap when we all hung out on Lucas’ dock last week. The one he’s been circling every time I see him.
“Cool. See you later. Good luck on your game.”
Elena holds her arms high in the air like a cheer pose. “Jacks and I rule supreme.” She thumps her chest and affects a deep dude-like voice. “Undefeated.”
I snort and give her a high five before venturing into the house to search for Alec.
This time I find him in the living room dancing between two girls—one of them that cheerleader, Marissa. She’s draped over his back, her manicured nails roaming his chest as he gazes up at the vaulted ceiling with glassy eyes. I don’t see Sasha around, but Alec’s face twists in a sour expression. He sways heavily from side to side, offbeat from the music.
“Are you drunk?” The accusatory words spill from me before I can process what I’m seeing.
He’s worse for wear, more blasted than I’ve ever seen. I haven’t touched drinking since the night with Matt, not interested in letting my guard down. But Alec has never gotten this sloppy.
He looks messed up as fuck.
“Alec.”
Marissa wrinkles her nose at me, sneering, “Chill out. What are you, his mom?”
A heavy sigh hisses between my teeth.
“Can you not see he needs you two to hold him up right now?” I reach for Alec, but he lets out a belligerent slurred grunt and shoves me away. “Alec, what the fuck, dude? Mom’s going to kill you. She’s lenient, but this is too far.”
“S’not,” Alec mumbles, turning his glower on me. “G’way!”
“Okay. You need, like, so much water. And to lie down.” I sniff the alcohol wafting off him. It seeps out of his pores with his sweat. “Ugh. And a damn shower. Why did you do this?”
Marissa and the other girl dig their claws in.
“Don’t be such a prissy bitch,” Marissa’s friend snipes in a mean girl tone. She’s like a carbon copy of Marissa, wearing a matching black leather miniskirt and a purple sweater. Their hair is even in the same high ponytail with a cheer bow. I decide to call her Marissa 2. She pinches my brother’s cheek. “Alec’s fine. Aren’t you, baby?”
And there’s the roil in my stomach I’ve been waiting for. My lip curls and I tug my brother away from them.
“If your definition of fine is unconscious and unable to consent!” The force of my own traumatic experience bleeds into my anger. The girls step back. “Go dance with someone else. I’m going to get my brother some help.”
“Whatever,” Marissa mutters. Most of her attention is on the guys in the corner where Lucas and his cohort hang around a keg. “Come on, Kel. There’s better dick hunting over there.”
Marissa and Marissa 2 hold hands and leave me to support all of Alec’s weight when they push him into me. I grit my teeth and awkwardly maneuver him over to the couch. No one offers me a hand or does much to get out of my way.
“Need some help?”
I jump at Lucas’ voice, not expecting him to materialize behind me when I just saw him across the room. I attempt to shrug, but it’s impossible with my brother weighing me down.
“Here.” Lucas takes Alec’s other arm
and together we get him settled on the couch. Alec groans. “Yeah, I hear you, buddy.” Lucas pats Alec’s shoulder. “I’ll get him a water bottle.”
“Thanks.”
I fuss with Alec’s hoodie, tugging it over his head to help cool him down.
“If you puke on me, you officially owe me for life.”
Alec lets out a garbled moan. His face is flushed and he can’t keep his eyes focused for too long. I mop the sweat from his brow with his sweatshirt.
“What did you get yourself into?”
Alec grumbles incoherent strings of words under his breath. Maybe in his head the rant makes sense, but all I hear is gibberish. I can’t take him home like this. Mom and Dad will stop trusting us to be responsible and go back to the helicopter parent act.
Our parents will kill him, and then probably come for me.
Maybe Alec can crash here for the night. This house is huge, there must be plenty of empty bedrooms.
Once I make sure he’s taken care of, I can get out of here and return to the three day Netflix marathon I have lined up.
Arms come around my waist and for a second I think it’s Lucas, but my eyes land on him in the kitchen, retrieving a water bottle from the refrigerator.
My mind goes haywire as hot beer-scented breath covers the side of my neck.
“Hey, little Turner,” Carter slurs. He’s drunk, too. The acrid stink of his breath makes my spine go rigid. “You come to party with us?”
“Nope. Just helping my brother.”
Carter rumbles something I can’t decipher, too hyper aware of his hands pressing into my stomach. I pretend like I’m dancing to break free of his arms, but he tightens them around me and makes an encouraging sound.
“Yeah, girl. Show me what you’ve got.”
Jitters thrum across every inch of my body, my skin crawling with Carter’s hands on me. Hands that map the same path Matt’s did. It sparks a weird sense memory and I gasp.
Carter mistakes it for one of pleasure and presses his half-hard dick against my ass, grinding on me.
“N-no,” I wheeze.
My freak-out peaks in a visceral reaction when Carter tries to pop the button on my jeans. I sink my elbow into his gut, landing a good shot. He doubles over and my feet carry me away as tears blur my vision.
I can’t breathe, even when I hit the cold, damp air outside. I don’t stop running, the harsh echo of my pained panting loud in my own ears.
My natural instincts have me in a chokehold as I flee. I’m scarcely aware of what I’m doing until I’m speeding in my car down the road that leads out of Silver Lake Forest Estates. Tears roll down my face and strained gasps claw at my throat. My headlights cut through the deluge of rain that started back up when I was inside.
Escape, escape, escape, my brain screams at me.
God, I fucking left Alec there. He needed my help and I just left.
My knuckles hurt from how tight I grip the steering wheel. No matter how much I shout at myself to turn back because I’m overreacting, I can’t turn around or slow down.
The car wobbles ominously as I take the next bend too fast. I suck in air and force myself to slow down so I don’t die on the mountain roads in the pouring rain.
“Come on, Gemma,” I coach myself in a ragged voice that is so strained it sounds foreign.
I ease off the gas, fighting against all of my muscles locked in place and shrieking to get away.
Around the next bend I slam on the brakes and emit a wild scream. A huge downed tree blocks my escape, its uprooted base reaching for me like gnarled fingers ready to trap me.
My eyes go painfully wide and I force my foot down harder to stop before I crash into the tree the CR-V careens toward.
“No, shit, no, no, no!”
The tires squeal, then spin out. I scream as the car skids in a violent fishtail, certain death right ahead of me. I’m either going to slam into the giant trunk of the tree or send the car careening over the slope of the mountain.
By some sick sense of luck, the wheels grind against the gravel on the narrow shoulder and I’m jolted as the CR-V scrapes against a sapling, halting at last.
My chest rises and falls with my wheezing gasps as the sound of large raindrops relentlessly pound the hood in front of me, smoky fog swirling in my headlights.
I didn’t die.
Holy. Fuck.
I sniffle so hard that my nose burns from the sharp breath and unclamp my hands from the wheel to wipe my eyes.
The adrenaline seems to leave me all at once. I start to cry harder, thunking my forehead against the wheel. My hands hurt from the death grip on the wheel. My heart beats so hard and fast that I’m actually a little worried I might be going into cardiac arrest.
I should call Mom and ask. She’d know as a nurse. But then I’d have to find my voice and I don’t think that’s happening any time soon. Sobs scratch my throat raw.
It takes a few minutes for me to get most of it out of my system, the explosion of emotion a combination of everything that happened in the last twenty minutes. Once I’ve calmed down a little, I swipe at my eyes and peer through the dull roar of rain.
There’s a deluge of muddy water and debris sloshing across the road on either side of the tree. Fuck. A mudslide must have uprooted the tree.
The road is completely blocked. This is the only road out from Lucas’ lake house.
That means everyone else is stranded, too.
On shaky legs, I get out and stumble like a newborn deer toward the tree that could’ve taken my life. The icy rain soaks my clothes in seconds, pelting me in big droplets. I blink through it, my lashes clumping. My hair plasters to my face when I try to shake the rain from my eyes.
At the edge of the stream, I stop, nervous about getting too close. It looks like the worst of the mudslide has already torn through the slope and across the road, but I don’t want to chance it.
As I turn back to my car, I’m blinded by headlights whipping around the bend up the road. Fear grips me once more, the irrational thought that someone’s come to hunt me down and finish what started back at the party paralyzes me.
The headlights are those bright blue halogen fuckers that feel like knives in your eyes when they hit you. I hold my hands up and squint as the car slows to a stop.
“Are you okay?”
The driver that shouts at me as he gets out is Lucas.
“I—yeah.”
The rest of my words catch in my throat, impeded by the lump of emotion lodged there. I’m thankful Lucas is still a few feet away when I emit a whimper, trying to hold back more emotion bubbling over.
“Jesus, Gemma. What the hell made you drive off in the rain like that?” He closes the distance between us, holding a raincoat over his head like he rushed out of the party too fast to put it on. He tries to cover both of us with it and touches my face. “God, you scared the shit out of everyone. Don’t you know how dangerous these roads can be?”
Lucas drove out in this torrential rain storm. For me.
My heart swells in my chest and it’s hard to breathe for an entirely different reason.
He brushes the droplets and wet hair from my face. My lip gives a tremulous wobble, the impending threat that I might break apart again at any second looming over my head.
“Are you okay?”
I shrug, then nod mechanically, but my shuddery breath is what he focuses on. Lucas peers over my shoulder at the downed tree.
“Looks like you’re not going anywhere tonight.”
“I want to go home.” My voice is cringe-worthy, all petulant. I can’t help it. I was just put through a traumatic experience and faced with a double whammy of unwanted sense memories followed by a near-miss car crash. “I wasn’t supposed to be here.”
“Come on.” Lucas tugs at me. “You’re going to catch a nasty cold. Let’s go.”
I stand my ground, my body locking up.
“No. I want to go home.”
Logically, I can see I have no wa
y to return to my house short of going all Bear Grylls and hiking down the mountain to the valley. Going back to Lucas’ place means being warm and dry.
Yet I fight him as he tries to guide me to his car.
“No!”
Lucas stops and exhales. “Gemma. Get in the goddamn car.”
“No! I want to go home right now! I have to!”
My irrational shouts are partially drowned out by the rain hammering the ground.
He scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m taking you home!”
“You’re not! You’re taking me back there! I don’t want to!”
Nothing I’m saying makes any sense as I pound my fists against his chest in a fruitless effort to make him listen. It’s like my mind is associating his house with my past, even though I know in my head that’s not true. Everything in me bucks against the thought of going back there. Going back is bad.
An unimpressed expression takes over Lucas’ face. He looks two seconds from being done with my bullshit.
“It’s pissing rain, Gemma! It’s not safe out here at night.”
I wave my arms around. “It’s a gated community! You have your own private security!”
“Get in the car,” he repeats, pointing at his Range Rover. “If you don’t get in on your own in the next minute, I’m going to make you.”
A wild shout leaves me and I whirl around to run away. Lucas curses and grabs at me, but I slip free.
“Gemma, what the fuck?!”
He chases me. I pant as I scramble off, no idea what my plan is. The muddy water sloshes over my shoes and I take a leaping jump for the fallen tree, the bark scraping my palms with a rough sting.
A hand closes on my ankle and drags me back.
“Are you fucking insane?”
Lucas growls as he tries to wrangle me. I cry out, both in frustration and pain as freedom is stolen from me and my hands drag against the sharp bark. Lucas lets out a yell of surprise as he slips in the mud.
Wicked Saint: Sinners and Saints Book 1 Page 14
