by Casey Morgan
“Well, anyway, it’s kinda sad that my parents choose to be like that, but I just have to accept it and move on,” I said. “I’m over it, because if it weren’t for that bad thing happening, then this very good thing would not be happening. But, now that I have you two in my life, I have other things to worry about. Ha!”
My wedding dates chuckled along with me. It was nice to laugh about this – the thing I had thought was the worst thing that had ever happened to me – rather than be sad.
We watched from the back as more wedding guests arrived. They started to fill up the seats in front of us. The villagers, who a few weeks ago were chastising us, were now muttering about how rude Nora and Derek had been to them around local Luck’s Hollow spots.
“Is that the same witch that came into the flower shop yesterday?” I heard the male counterpart of an elf couple say.
“Yes,” said the woman. “She was so rude about her flowers, I nearly kicked her out and told her to forget it.”
“Why didn’t ye?”
“She already paid for everything,” she explained. “And I wasn’t about to take back all the arrangements, so fuck it. I gave her a discount just to shut the little hussy up!”
I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. Apparently, Nora was intensely disliked, at least by the elves that ran the flower shop.
“Here now,” said a man, to his friend. “I recognize the groom. Isn’t he the one who started that fight in O’Grady’s over the dart game?”
“Yeah, ‘tis him,” said the other. “He’s a wanker, isn’t it? Spilled mi beer and wouldn’t buy me another pint. Said I had already finished most of it and didn’t deserve one.”
“Oy, what’d you do?” asked his friend.
“What could I do?” he shrugged. “I went into the parking lot, found his car and took a piss on his door handles.”
The two men laughed, and I laughed too. Brody smiled.
“That’s a good prank,” said Brody. “I shall have to remember that one.”
“That’s gross,” disagreed Ryan. “What sort of animal would do that? Look, I know Derek is not a popular lad, but making trouble isn’t going to solve anything. It just causes things to be even worse.”
“Yeah, but it’s still funny,” I admitted.
Derek was standing by the altar by this point. It looked like the wedding was going to start, but there was some kind of delay. As he waited, his eyes drifted out into the audience and locked onto mine. He made an annoyed face and looked away.
Then, after a few minutes of squirming, he apparently decided he had to say something to me. To my surprise, he suddenly marched over to me as he glared right at me.
“Oh, don’t look now, but I think your ex wants a word,” said Ryan.
“Should I hit him now or after he says something?” asked Brody.
He moved his fingers in a spell, and a small fire ball appeared in his hand.
“Hold your fire,” I said, grabbing Brody’s hand and shaking it. “Hold your fire!”
With a sad face, Brody dropped his hand and waved the fireball out. We all looked up at Derek. I couldn’t believe that I had ever found him attractive. He was so thin, so dark – the complete opposite of my beautiful elves.
“Okay, what is this?” asked Derek, gesturing with a thin hand to Ryan and Brody.
“I’m Ryan,” said Ryan.
“I’m Brody,” said Brody.
He gave Derek a flippant little wave. His pointy ears raised up a bit, in a naughty sneer.
“Get lost, Derek. I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I sneered. “You don’t like it, I don’t care. I don’t care what you do anymore.”
“So, you bring two fake dates to our wedding and what? I’m supposed to ignore it? Clearly you have abandonment issues with regard to me,” he suggested. “Why don’t you just come clean?”
“Oh, unlike you, I am honest,” I said. “I’m dating both these men.”
“’Tis true,” said Ryan, taking my hand in his and kissing it.
“Very true,” added Brody, doing the same.
“Bullshit,” dismissed Derek.
He put his hands on his hips and stomped his foot. He was getting his black tux dirty but he didn’t seem to care.
“How could we prove otherwise?” asked Brody. “Do we have to fuck her in front of ye? Because I imagine your presence would be a bit of a distraction.”
“And boner killer,” added Ryan.
I held the boys’ hands tight. By now, the villagers of Luck’s Hollow were so used to us that, to them, it was Derek who was being the weirdo.
“Shouldn’t you go back to the altar?” I asked. “Seems weird that you would stand out here and chastise your guests.”
“Look, Shanna, I was shattered when we split,” he said, shifting gears. “It was really hard for me. But to see you put on this big fake show — I mean, your parents are here. I’m sure it’s embarrassing for them as well.”
“Oh, shut your piehole, ye wee git,” said the florist. “They’re a real item. They’ve been walkin’ arm in arm in town for almost a month now.”
“Yeah,” added the man with his friend. “They were the gossip all around Luck’s Hollow for a while, but now that’s over. You’re the outsiders, ye wee arse. Thinking ye can come and get married in a place you’ve never been and be welcomed with open arms even while you insult the people who live here.”
“Don’t call me a wee arse at my wedding!” snapped Derek.
“Then don’t be a wee arse,” added Brody.
Now the music was starting, and Derek was still standing in the wrong place. Nora walked into the tent, on my dad’s arm. She looked around for Derek and made a face when she saw he was standing near me.
“What the hell are you doing, Derek?” she yelled. “Get into your position!”
“Yeah, get into position, Derek,” mocked Ryan.
“I’ll bet he’ll be hearing her bark a lot of orders like that!” laughed Brody. “She take your balls already, mate? Or will she snip them off tonight?”
“Excuse me,” said the Vicar, who was standing at the altar. “We don’t have all day. This event is already off to a late start and I don’t know why it’s being delayed by family fighting.”
“Come on, Derek. Time to marry me. Forget about my sister and her fake dates!” snapped Nora.
A murmur went up from the crowd. They said things like, “They’re not fake!” “They’re a real couple, believe it or not!”, “I thought it was unbelievably weird, myself, at first, but now it just seems normal, for them, anyway,” and “I’ve seen them together – more often than I can admit I’ve wanted to”.
Nora gave up and just started gesturing to Derek. She snapped her fingers a few times and pointed to the front of the aisle. Derek finally relented and walked all the way back to his spot.
“Now, if we’re all ready,” said the Vicar.
“Hurry up, ya old fruit,” Ailbe yelled out.
He and Fiona were sitting at the front of the tent. Ailbe stamped his cane.
“We’ll send ye back to Cork in pieces if ye don’t speed this thing along!”
“Yeah,” chimed in Ronald. “Speed things along.”
“Shut up, Ronald,” snapped Fiona. “Don’t embarrass us today. It’s not every day someone wants to have a wedding at our fine abode. And they even paid us for it. A lot more than broken iPhones bring in.”
“I’m not embarassin’ ye! I’m tryin’ to be supportive,” yelled Ronald.
He stood and glared at his mother, sulking and obviously feeling insulted that she didn’t appreciate his attempt to help.
“Shut yer gob, ye dim bulb. This is a wedding,” screamed Ailbe, at the top of his lungs at his son. “You think these people want to hear you go on and on? This is a precious ceremony that these people are payin’ for at our luxurious establishment. Now stop ruinin’ a beautiful moment, ye ass.”
“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” said Brody, his eyes wide
and his smile huge. “I wish I’d brought popcorn.”
“Aye,” agreed Ryan. “I think the Bridezilla is going to burst.”
“What’s a Bridezilla?” asked Brody.
“It’s like a bride monster. Something on American telly,” said Ryan. “They boss everyone around and throw fits if they don’t get their way.”
“Oh. Aye,” said Brody. “Sure wish I had a package of crisps. I’d get them out, so we could all start snacking during the show.”
“Hey, are those some of the McDonnells who threatened us at the turnip festival?” asked Ryan, gesturing to Peter, Donnie and Billy.
As soon as I saw them, Terry came out of the house too. The four of them were not dressed for the wedding at all. They still had on their jeans and scuffed up shirts. Terry frowned at all the yelling.
“Yes, that’s them,” I said. “They don’t seem to be having a very good time.”
My four brutish cousins walked up to the front of the tent. Billy had a beer bottle in his hand and already looked drunk. Peter was openly urging Derek to get on with it in a loud whisper, while Donnie picked his nose quite openly and flicked what he picked to the ground in random directions.
Nora looked angry and mortified. I guess she had expected someone to run over and make everything right, but I wasn’t doing that today. A lesson had to be learned and she was learning.
Actually, I didn’t know if she was learning it. If I had to guess, the only thing she was doing was getting angrier at the McDonnells, my parents, Derek and probably me. But hey, I didn’t want my fingerprints on this train wreck either way.
The gall of my sister to marry my ex-fiancé and expect me to help. Well, this is the price you pay, Nora. This is the price you pay! I was getting sweet vengeance, and I was loving every second of it.
Ronald moved over to stand behind his brothers. Ailbe started screaming at them all to go back into the house because they were ruining the wedding. Terry walked up and pushed his old man to sit him down.
“Calm down, Pops,” he sneered. “No one is ruining this wedding except for the froggin’ groom.”
“Hey now!”
Stupidly, Derek grabbed Terry’s arm.
Terry flung his hand back and busted Derek’s nose. Derek hissed in a breath and stepped back. He clasped his nose tenderly, trying to stop the rush of blood.
“Oh my God!” Nora screeched.
She moved her hands quickly, forming a blast spell, then centered it right on Terry’s chest. The shockwave sent Terry flying into his brothers like a bowling ball. Nora turned to Fiona and Ailbe. Her face was bright red and her eyes cold.
“Your stupid boys have ruined my wedding. How can I have any good pictures if my groom has a broken nose? I want a refund! I demand a refund!”
Fiona jumped to her feet.
“Now look, missy! We agreed no refunds. This is what you paid for, use of our grounds.”
“I want a refund,” Nora screeched again.
The air around her seemed to shimmer. She was really mad now.
“This isn’t my dream wedding. I want the perfect wedding!”
She threw her bouquet at Fiona, hitting the elderly witch right in the chest.
Ailbe jumped to his feet.
“You can’t treat me wife that way, Lass!”
He pulled a hex bottle out of his coat and flung it at Nora.
Nora ducked out of the way. The hex bottle crashed and broke right in front of the Vicar. Its contents escaped the bottle, forming into a green haze that burned the bottom of the Vicar’s white robe. The poor man jumped and flailed, trying to stamp the spell out.
At this point, the boys and I, plus the rest of the audience, were laughing our heads off. I was torn between wanting to step in and leaving my stupid little sister to flounder.
“Now, see here!” roared the Vicar, quieting everyone.
He had successfully gotten his robes stamped out. He pulled a glass orb from his pocket and raised it, so everyone could see. It was a spell dampener.
“Now, this wedding will continue or I’m leaving; which will it be?”
He shook the orb till it turned blue. All the magic in the air around us was dissipated.
Nora, Fiona and the others, settled. Fiona and Ailbe sat and the McDonnell boys wandered back into the house. My father helped Derek stuff tissues up his nose to stop the bleeding. Finally, they finished their crazy-in-a-bad-way spectacle of a wedding ceremony.
Chapter 24
Shanna
The reception wasn’t so bad… for the three of us. We had a blast dancing and drinking.
Unfortunately, something went wrong with the food and Nora ended up in an argument with the caterer and Ailbe, who just inserted himself into the argument and started throwing punches and hex bottles.
Some of the McDonnells got really drunk and fought with the other wedding party guests, including some of Derek’s relatives. So, the reception was pretty embarrassing… for them!
But we spent the evening locked in a three-way embrace, swaying on the dance floor. It felt good to be wrapped in the comforting arms of my two elf lovers. My parents were so embarrassed that I’d brought two dates to the wedding and so mad at me for upsetting their precious Nora that they had completely ignored me all night long.
But that was all right with me. I had the two people I most wanted in my life right beside me, where they belonged.
Afterwards, I went back to the apartment with Ryan and Brody.
“Didja see Derek and Ronald arguing at the end on the way out?” said Brody. “He wanted Derek to give him a tip for being such a great host.”
“I heard Ailbe trying to shake him down for an extra fee for using his land,” laughed Ryan. “That guy is absolutely shameless.”
“Yeah, it was a great day,” I sighed, stretching and walking towards the bed. “But let’s forget about them. Because now it’s about to get better.”
I reached behind my back and undid my dress. It slid off my body and hit the floor. I was now standing in my underwear and high heeled shoes I had worn to the wedding.
“Keep the heels on,” said Brody. “Whatever you do.”
“Whatever you boys want,” I said. “You’ve got. I have to thank you properly for supporting me through this difficult time.”
“You mean, this difficult time where you laughed your arse off at your sister?” said Ryan.
“Aye,” I said, with a wink.
I took off my bra and tossed it aside. I pulled my panties down and let them drop to the floor, then stepped out of them, so that I was obeying their command and was completely naked except for my high heeled shoes. The boys were pulling off their clothes as fast as they could.
“I’m ready to try something,” I said. “That thing we talked about. I think I’m ready.”
“Still seems risky,” said Ryan. “But I’m game.”
“Oh, aye,” agreed Brody. “Can’t wait.”
Moving over to our special drawer, I opened it and found the lube and a butt plug I had purchased online. If I was going to have two men in my ass at the same time, I had to work my way up to it. I lubed up the plug, pointed my butt towards the boys so that they could see, and then pushed it in. It felt nice and tight.
“Mmmm,” I moaned. “Are you going to feel that good?”
Brody finally got all his clothes off and rushed over to me with a growing erection. Ryan struggled with his pants for a few moments. Brody started kissing me aggressively, and I him.
We were like two savage animals. Brody kissed me down the front of my body, stopping at my tits, then continued down my torso and then ended up on his knees, licking my pussy.
Ryan, now naked, walked over and kissed me. I grabbed his cock and stroked it. It was getting harder. He was slightly longer than his brother, but both of them had thick, amazing cocks. I couldn’t wait for them both to be inside me.
We moved onto the bed. I stretched myself out on my back, allowing Brody better access to my pussy. R
yan stood before me, putting his dick across my lips. I nibbled and licked his shaft, then teased it with my tongue.
“Ah, that’s it,” he said, feeling satisfied. “God, you’re a wonder.”
I started deep throating Ryan’s cock, back and forth, bobbing my head. I could feel him starting to tense up and really enjoyed the sensation. I was moaning into his cock at the same time because Brody was downstairs, licking away.
His tongue was fucking my tight little hole. His raw masculinity against my sensitive womanhood was all I needed to come. The butt plug was only enhancing the experience every time I tensed up.
“Oh, God!” cried Ryan. “Wait, love. You’re gonna make me lose it.”
“Do it!” I panted. “Come in my mouth right now. I want it! I want to taste your cum.”
That was enough for Ryan to blow his load into my mouth. I kept my lips over the top of his penis and sucked and licked him. I knew that this was the moment where he’d be most sensitive.
I loved the taste of his cum, so help me God. He moaned and shook, as his whole body was getting into the act.
“Holy shit!” he said. “That was fantastic!”
“You want some of me too, love?” asked Brody, looking up from my legs.
Brody suddenly stood; he had been stroking himself while he was eating me out. Now he too was at the edge. I sat up to receive his cock and placed it in my mouth.
I teased the hole at the top of his dick with the tip of my tongue and he exploded. Cum splattered onto my face and it took a second for me to get my mouth over him. I gulped his cum down, letting the rest run down my face. After I swallowed, I laughed. What a mess.
“What did ya do that for?” asked Ryan. “Now we’ve already come before we did the butt thing.”
“I want you to last a little,” I said. “You guys last longer after the first climax. I’m just planning the best for all of us.”
“A little schemer, this one is,” said Brody.
He winked at me.
“She’s orchestrating everything. Even in the bedroom!”
“Aye,” agreed Ryan.
