“I need your help,” I start and a girl wearing huge falsies lifts her hand, perched on the edge of a sofa with her arm in a sling. I wonder if she got that injury during the shooting?
“If you want our help, answer a few questions first.” She grins, and I feel a bit of the tension in the room dissipate. I’m being offered an olive branch here, initiated into this circle of women even though I’m not entirely sure that I deserve it. “Which one of the Havoc Boys has the biggest dick?”
Laughter swirls through the air, riding the cool breeze from the open window on a cloud of sweet-smelling perfume and body spray. But even if they’re laughing, all eyes are on me and I’m expected to answer the question honestly.
My eyes flick once again to Hael’s honey-almond ones, but he’s just grinning back at me, hands still folded together behind his head, waiting. Obviously, he’s seen the other boys’ dicks, but I’m the only one well-acquainted enough with them to know for sure.
“Who do you think?” I snort, but Vera gives me a sharp look, and I know I’d better cough up answers here. This isn’t really about the boys though, is it? It’s a bonding exercise, a sharing of secrets, a building of camaraderie. “Are we talking length or circumference?”
“Both. Dish it out,” Vera says, snapping her fingers at me. Her eyes are the color of ice chips, pale, almost colorless, but with enough of a gray wash that she appears mysterious at first glance, almost otherworldly.
“Well, for girth, I’d have to say … Aaron?” I start, and I notice money exchange hands almost immediately. Ah, these bitches are betting on this. Even Hael chuckles as I shrug my shoulders. “And length … Victor.”
“Of course it’s Victor.” Tiff accepts cash from a few of the other girls, giving me a careful once-over.
“I’m hurt, Bernadette,” Hael moans, putting a hand to his chest like I’ve mortally wounded him. “But then, maybe these ladies are asking the wrong question? How about: who’s the best fuck?”
“Oh, good one!” Vera nods her head as she looks from Hael and back to me. I make extra sure to flip Hael off with my pretty new nails, and the girls titter like a flock of songbirds.
“Depends on the day.” I shrug my shoulders, knowing they’re not going to like that answer. It feels like a cop-out, like I’m too afraid to admit the truth. But that’s not it at all. It really does depend on the day, the time, my mood, the location … “Each one of them is different, like a separate ingredient for the same dish. I need them all or it just doesn’t turn out right.”
There’s a long pause there as my words sink in, and then Vera shakes her head at me.
“Alright, alright, you win the biggest ho at Prescott award. Congratulations.” Vera leans back in her chair, running her pink-nailed hand over her shaved red hair. “So, tell me, Havoc Girl: what is it that you want from us?”
There’s a sudden shift in the mood, like the wind’s changed and brought with it the dark reality of our situation.
“Are any of you familiar with a man named Mason Miller?” I ask, and several of the girls exchange glances.
“The whore killer?” Tiff asks, looking over at Vera, her brown eyes darkening substantially. “Yeah, we know about him. We never lost a girl to him, but I have friends in Portland that have.”
I take a deep breath, pushing my natural anger down to the bottom of my stomach. Control, Bernadette. That’s the most important thing here.
“Well, we need to get rid of him. Him and Maxwell Barrasso—the leader of the GMP—both. Since we know Mason likes call girls—”
Vera cuts me off by raising her pink-nailed hand.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want us to send one of our girls into a room with the whore killer? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you actually want us in your crew, or are we just fodder for your gang war with the GMP?”
I’m not mad at her for interrupting me; she has a point.
I stand up, the cream-colored sweater I’m wearing cropped and just barely long enough to hide the black sports bra underneath. The sweater has a bat silhouette on it with the words Protect Our Pollinators underneath. I’ve got on leather pants that I can move in if necessary, and a pair of combat boots with a knife hidden in the heel. Look, as much as I love my high heels, I think I need to take a break. Too many fights for my life recently, you know?
“I get it: it’s scary as fuck. But the alternative is worse: a GMP controlled Springfield. They’ll take charge of all your girls, make them turn tricks for Maxwell. Havoc isn’t asking that of you. This is a bait and switch move. We just need to get Mason to a public location.”
Vera is already shaking her head, and I find myself tapping that long nail with the ring through it against my thigh.
“He won’t come to Prescott—no matter what you say to him. He makes girls come to him. That’s his thing. Especially after the robbery. Nope, Havoc Girl. Think up a new plan.”
“It’s worth a try, at least,” I say, but most of the girls are mumbling now, shaking their heads at me.
“You can try,” Vera says with a skeptical brow raised in my direction. “But you’re just going to tip him off that you’re up to something. You’ll have to send someone to Mason Miller, and I can tell you right now: Stacey would never let one of us do something that dangerous. It’s not happening. If that’s your initiation requirement, we’ll all pass on Havoc’s offer.”
I think on that for a moment as Tiff looks me up and down and flips her beaded braids over one shoulder.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asks, and I glance over at her, my own brow raised in response. “You got a pussy, don’t you? Why don’t you meet with Mason?”
Hael laughs, and all eyes turn to him.
“Not a chance in fucking hell of that happening,” he says and several of the girls hiss in response.
“What? We’re disposable, but your girl isn’t? Look, we always send two girls to every job for safety. We can do that, give you an escort. But we’re not putting one of our ladies in a closed room with Mason Miller.” Vera stands up and looks from me to Hael. “Anyway, are y’all going to help with Stacey’s funeral? Her broke-ass daddy won’t even claim her body. And we need money to give her the send-off she deserves.”
“We’ll pay for it,” I say before Hael can intervene. “Think about what I said, okay? The invitation to join Havoc stands, even without the Mason thing.” I head for the door and Hael rises to his feet to follow.
Several of the girls whistle at his retreating ass as we head out the door and down the curving staircase to the first floor.
“Did you ever sleep with Stacey?” I ask him abruptly, and he laughs. “No, seriously. You … or any of the other guys?”
“Virgin Dick wasn’t sleeping with anyone,” Hael adds with another chuckle. “Aaron either. But you knew that, right? You’re talking about me and Vic and Cal.”
“Well, did you?” I ask, not caring if jealousy taints my voice for a moment. It’s just me and him in the lobby of Vera’s aunt’s apartment building. I use the term lobby very loosely, too. Mostly, it’s just a square box with some doors and a staircase at either end, an overflowing trash can in one corner, and a desk where a security guard might’ve sat once upon a time.
“Not Stacey or any of her girls,” Hael promises, making an X over his heart. “You know that old saying, don’t shit where you eat? I fucked a lot of Fuller girls, a few Oak Valley brats. Everybody knows Prescott chicks are trouble.” He tousles my hair and I slap his hand away, but I’m relieved to hear that. I’m not sure that I could work with a girl who’d seen my man’s dick. “Blackbird …” he warns, grabbing me by the shoulders before I step outside.
We both pause as the notes of an unfamiliar song echo from upstairs, trailing from the open door of the apartment.
“For Stacey!” I hear, and then the sound of a champagne bottle being popped. After a moment, I recognize the song that’s being played and snort. It’s “Straight Outta Vagina” by Pussy Riot. Seems fitting, to be hon
est.
“What?” I ask when I realize that Hael is still staring at me like I’ve lost the fucking plot.
“You’re not meeting with Mason,” he tells me, a warning note in his voice that says he’ll compromise on some things but not this. “Blackbird, you just lost our baby—”
“It was barely anything,” I mumble, but Hael squeezes my shoulders even harder, leaning down to look into my eyes. His brown ones darken with the severity of the situation.
“You’re not putting your life at risk for this stupid war. I’d just as soon pack up and leave. As much respect as I have for Prescott, as amazing as having that money would be, it isn’t worth it if you’re not around. You hear me?”
I just stare back at him, but the wheels in my mind are still turning.
It’d be even better if I got into a room with Mason. Because then, I could make certain that only one of us walks out of that room alive.
“Fuck,” Hael curses, gritting his teeth as he releases me and stands up. “Wait until Vic hears about this.” He turns away from me abruptly and heads for the front doors, shoving open the glass and calling out to Victor.
By the time I join him, I can already see that he’s filled Vic in on the situation.
“It isn’t happening,” Victor tells me, but I just return his dark stare with one of my own.
Evil deeds done in the dark, that’s our thing.
I’m already imagining all the ways that I could get Mason before he even realized what was coming.
There are coffins and caskets all around me, a sea of satin and mahogany, a virulent reminder that death waits around every corner. The one I’m looking at in particular has a red-lined interior, just like the one we buried the Thing alive in. Staring down at it now, I relive that entire moment in my head. The ground, opened up and gaping, me in my dress, the boys in their suits. Masks, masks, masks. The grinning maws of skeletal faces.
“You’re disappearing inside your head,” Oscar whispers from over my shoulder, stirring my hair and making me shiver. There’s just something about the Lucullan sumptuousness of his voice that gets to me. It’s like, he developed that voice so the world wouldn’t see how dark and damaged he is on the inside. “You know how he did it? He tried to strangle me. And now it’s become a fetish of mine. How fucked-up is that?”
I shiver again, stepping back from the coffin in front of me as Oscar’s confession about his father takes root in my mind. He stays where he is, my body bumping up against his. Long, inked fingers curl around the pink sleeve of my leather Havoc jacket.
“Let’s just pick one for poor dear Stacey and get out of here,” he purrs, releasing me suddenly and stepping aside as the funeral director hovers in one corner, sweating and nervous and clearly uncomfortable at having two members of Havoc inside his place of business. “What does it matter anyway?” Oscar pauses and runs the palm of one hand down the side of a black coffin, closing his eyes like he, too, is trapped in some sort of nightmare or memory.
“No.” I glance over at the overweight man in his dark suit and somber perturbance. “Get out.”
The man hesitates for about half a second before he drags his simpering ass out the door.
I turn back to Oscar and find him watching me through yet another new pair of glasses. These ones are black, rectangular, so sharp and austere that they may as well be barbed wire, protecting his eyes from the soul searching they so desperately need.
“Do you guys use this place …” I trail off, just in case there are cameras or something. I don’t have to finish that sentence for Oscar to know what I mean: do you guys use this place to dispose of bodies? I mean, we’re standing in the only funeral home located in all of the Prescott neighborhood, one that’s so familiar with our gang that they immediately opened their doors and let us in after-hours.
“No, too easy to track,” Oscar explains, his tie a jewel-toned purple that pairs well with the charcoal black color of the jacket and slacks. He taps his fingers against the side of another casket, watching me with those full moon eyes of his, just two silver discs in a well-mannered face. So well-mannered, in fact, that you’d never know the darkness that lies beneath.
He taps his fingers against the shiny black surface yet again as I pause next to another casket, a white one with a pink interior. It’s sitting on the ground, open. I know that in some places, the funeral homes have fancy displays where you can see casket color, shape, interior lining, all that stuff. But this is Prescott. We have coffins, sure, but they’re just haphazardly strewn about. Most of them are dented or scratched and, legally, are probably not fit to be sold. Again, south Prescott. It’s pure privilege to assume that everybody lives and exists and functions just the way you do. Sometimes, there are economic, cultural, or legal barriers.
I climb into the casket and sit down while Oscar scowls at me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he asks as I lie back and cross my arms over my chest, staring up at a water-stained drop ceiling, my heart racing, eyes closing. So this is what being dead feels like—irrelevance in a world that never stops. I open my eyes again to find Oscar staring down at me, mouth creased into the most perfect frown.
“You’re so pretty, you know that?” I tell him, and he just sneers at me some more. But I haven’t forgotten what he said to me just days ago: I’m in love with you. Desperately so. Those words weren’t said lightly. They were laced with truth and thrown around me like a lasso, drawing me in so deep I have no hope of ever escaping. “If you’d wanted to get out of Prescott, you could’ve been a model or … something.”
“Or something,” Oscar says, his voice dark as he stares down at me. “Now, out of the casket.” He extends a hand, one that’s literally dipped in ink. There are black crosses and crows, people without eyes, gravestones and a crescent moon. I look at his hand, but I don’t accept it.
“Stacey deserves the best,” is my response when, really, I could and should say something profound here. “I want her to have a nice place to rest.” Usually, I’m a fan of natural burials or cremation, but … this is what her crew wants, so it’s what her crew will get.
“That doesn’t mean you have to test it out,” Oscar hisses, kneeling down beside the casket and curling his fingers around the edge. His eyes blaze with a fury that’s difficult to understand, so … I decide to do the grown-up thing and ask him the fuck about it.
“What’s the matter?” I sit up, pushing the curtain of my hair back so I can look at him properly. “This isn’t triggering for you, is it? Because if it is, I’ll get out.”
Oscar stares at me for nearly a full minute before responding. But that’s okay. It’s better when somebody actually thinks about the words that leave their mouth before they blurt them out—not that I don’t do my fair share of blurting.
“I don’t like the idea of you being dead,” is what he tells me. We stare at each other, and that heartbeat of mine that was racing so fast before picks up speed until I feel like I might get dizzy. He may as well have just told me that we’re soul mates or something. There was that much romance in his weird, stilted sentence. Sometimes, with broken people, you work with what you get, you embrace it, and you love them for what they can do.
I look back down at my lap, at the jeans with the holes in the knees, the ones that I wore through all on my own—no pre-ripped denim for this bitch. Not judging, just saying. If you don’t have enough trauma and bullshit to rip your own jeans on the day-to-day, you can buy ‘em, but you’ll never be south Prescott.
“I’m processing,” I tell Oscar, rubbing my hands against the pink satin interior. Why does it have to be so pretty and so comfy, just to put a corpse in? My throat constricts as I think about my sister, about her beautiful corpse wrapped up in blankets with a bottle of Pam’s pills on the nightstand … White flickers take over my vision and I scrub both hands down my face.
To say that I haven’t fully processed the idea that my mother murdered my sister is an understatement.
Nei
l raped her.
Pam killed her.
Oscar’s hand reaches out, tentative but steady, and falls across my own as they sit in my lap.
“Don’t force it. Sometimes, it takes years.”
I glance over at him, thinking about all the things he said about his father, how he tried to strangle him, how he killed his mother and siblings. That’s a lot to process. And, apparently, we have a lot in common.
“Your hair …” I start, removing one of my hands from underneath his and reaching up to finger the silken black strands. He flinches, but just barely, putting his tattooed hand back over mine and pinning it against his skull in a way he never would’ve done before. “You dyed it again.”
The door opens at the far end of the room and Aaron appears, pausing when he realizes he’s just walked in on a moment steeped in intimacy and connection.
“You guys are okay?” he asks because, really, we’ve been in here a long time. We were supposed to walk in, pick out a coffin, and pay the bill for Stacey’s funeral with the money I dug up from Pam’s backyard. That’s it. Instead, here I am, sitting in a coffin and talking about Oscar’s blond-to-black dye job. Even as a child, when we met at age eight, he had black hair which means that somebody dyed it for him. Who? Why?
“We’ll be out in a minute,” I say, and Aaron withdraws, heading back outside to wait with the other boys. Pretty sure Vic sent Oscar and me in here on this errand on purpose. He does nothing in half-measures and, despite his jealousy and his need to possess me, he’s done everything in his power to try to get me and Oscar to get along with one another.
“Why is your hair black?” I ask, and Oscar shudders, but even when he drops his hand from mine, he lets me play with his hair. I have the strongest urge to kiss him right now. It’s so bad that my mouth literally aches as my gaze drops to that razor-thin line, a rapier sharpened and ready to spill blood. “Even as a kid, it was the color of ravens. Tell me.”
Victory at Prescott High (The Havoc Boys Book 5) Page 14
