Taking a breath, I open the front door and enter the house. The instant I step over the threshold, my guard goes up. All of the lights are off in the house, except for the hallway lights upstairs. The air is quiet, too.
Where is everyone? Did they go out for a family dinner or something?
I smile at the thought as I step inside, shut the door, and head for the stairway. If I can pretend to be asleep by the time they get home, I might be able to get away without a lecture and a punishment until at least morning.
But my smile fades the instant I enter my room and my gaze falls to my bed. The lamp is on, revealing the stash of drugs that I stole from my uncle scattered across the mattress
Shit.
I spin around to run, but my uncle steps out from behind the door and blocks my path, anger blazing in his eyes.
“So you thought you could steal from me, huh?” He crosses his arms and stares me down.
He’s not a very tall man, which is strange since my dad was really tall. But he’s bulky and has a mean right hook—that I know. He’s also still dressed in his sheriff uniform even though he’s probably been off work for a couple of hours. He wears it, though, when he’s trying to intimidate me. I don’t know why he thinks it does, though.
“I didn’t steal that from you.” My voice comes out even. I’ve learned not to show fear when he gets like this. That it only seems to rile him up more. “That’s stuff I bought.” Yeah, I’m basically admitting that I bought drugs, but I’d rather have him believe that than know I stole from him.
He gives a hollow laugh as he steps toward me while reaching back for the door. “How stupid do you think I am, Raven? I’m well aware that you've been stealing from me. But do you want to know what pisses me off even more?"
I bite down on my tongue until I taste blood, resisting the urge to throw out some snarky remark.
He slowly closes the door, then click, he locks it. “That you know a little secret of mine.”
I push down the fear wanting to emerge inside me, let out a slow breath, and inch back. “I don’t know anything.”
“Liar.” He matches my move, stepping forward and stealing the distance I put between us. “You’ve always been good at that—being a lying cunt.” He steps toward me again, his fingers drifting toward his holster. “Remind me. Have I marked you with that word yet? Sometimes it’s hard to remember with all the marks I’ve put on you already.” He pulls out his knife and flips the blade open. “You make it so easy, though, with that mouth of yours. It’s like you like me cutting you up.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in …
Exhale.
“Look, I’m sorry for stealing your drugs. I don’t know why I did it, but I’ll stop. And I won’t tell anyone about the stash you have. I’m a lot of things, but you know I’m not a narc.”
He lightly traces his finger along the edge of the blade. “You know the only way I can get you to listen is to punish you. It’s the only way to get you to obey me.”
He always says this to me, but it never makes any sense since I rarely obey anyway. In reality, I wonder if he gets off on this, on seeing me in pain, which is so messed up.
“I’ll start behaving better,” I lie, the backs of my legs bumping against the bed as I take another step back.
Shit. I’m cornered, but I refuse to allow myself to panic.
Numb, Raven. Tune out that fear.
He shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me again, Raven.”
“I’m not lying, “ I insist. “I promise. Just please don’t cut me again.”
His eyes flicker with delight for who the hell knows why. Then he reaches out and grabs my wrist. “You know I can do this. You know we have rules in my house.”
“Why am I the only one who has to follow them?” I growl out, jerking on my arm. “Let go of me, you fucking asshole.”
A sinister grin curls at his lips. “And there she is.” He shoves me down on the bed. “I don’t know why you always try to pretend like you’re obedient in the beginning. It never lasts. And you want to know why?”
I move to climb off the bed, but he wrestles me down, climbing on top of me and pinning me down. “Get off me!” I scream. “Now—”
He smacks me so hard my ears ring. Then he pins my hands down beside my head, leaning in and breathing into my face, “Because you’re just like your stupid mother. You’re a spoiled little brat who thinks you can do whatever she wants.”
“Shut up!” I scream, tears pooling in my eyes.
“Aw, am I hurting your feelings? Well, good.” Pinning both my hands in one of his, he leans back and lifts the hem of my shirt. “The next time you even think about trying to steal from me, you look down at this and remember.” He points the tip of the blade at my side and nicks my skin, causing blood to pool out. “Remember what you are.”
Then he starts cutting, moving the blade over my flesh. I barely feel the pain, though. I’ve become numb to this. Numb to everything. Almost.
My thoughts drift to the card in my pocket. If I had a phone, I could try to call the number. But I’m still not sure anyone would show up if I did. And I don’t need to start relying on people only to be let down. I’ve done that before. Many times. I don’t think I have anything left in me to deal with it again.
“You’re quiet tonight,” my uncle remarks as he climbs off me.
Droplets of blood are on the blade of his knife and his hands. My blood.
Blood all over my hands and anger searing through my veins, consuming my mind.
“Got nothing to say?” My uncle stands by my bed, staring down at me with expectancy.
I stare at the ceiling, not moving, refusing to say a word.
“Looks like it worked then.” He wipes the blade of his knife across the side of his pant leg, cleaning off the blood. Then he puts the knife away and looks at me again, waiting for something. When I make no effort to even budge, he shakes his head. “Whatever. At least I got you to shut up.” He turns around and storms for the door. “Don’t ever touch any of my shit again,” he snaps then walks out of my room, slamming the door behind him.
I don’t move. Barely breathe.
I don’t want to be here.
I want to fade away.
Why couldn’t that water have swept me away with it?
After what feels like hours, I drag myself off the bed and walk over to the mirror to see the damage. My side feels like it’s on fire as I lift up the hem of my blood-stained shirt and peer at the newly marked word branding my flesh. Then I shake my head, my jaw ticking.
Disappointment.
The twisted motherfucker.
I lower my shirt then sink down onto my bed, sitting in the middle of my drug stash that he just left in here, probably trying to send me some sort of cryptic message—my uncle really likes his minds games. What the message is, I haven’t got a clue. And I really don’t care.
Shoving the drugs out of the way, I lie down and close my eyes, trying not to think of anything. But my thoughts drift to The Raven Three again. While I’m skeptical that they’ll associate with me tomorrow, a tiny part of me can’t help hoping that maybe, just maybe, I won’t be let down for once. That we’ll have our talk. That they’ll make good on their promise and take care of my uncle.
As a smile starts to pull at my lips, I quickly erase it.
No, I’m not going to get my hopes up again. I decided a long time ago that I was meant to wander through this life alone, and it does no good to try to see things any other way. Because all that leads to is disappointed. Just like the fresh new word on my side says.
Chapter 13
Jax
“Do you think she got home okay?” Hunter asks as I drive us toward my father’s house that’s located on the other side of town.
Ever since we left our house, he’s been rambling on and on about the girl with hair like raven feathers, the girl who pushed her way into our lives today.
“I think it’s time to talk about the rest
of the rules,” I say as I steer down the dark, desolate street lined with trees. While I have nothing against Raven, I’m not about to let Hunter become obsessed with her, for several different reasons, one being it could complicate this whole addition-to-our-circle-thing.
“I second that,” Zay mutters from the backseat.
Hunter turns around in the passenger seat to look at him. “What’s your deal today? This is the second time you’ve tried to pretend you’re all about the rules, but we all know you’re not.”
Zay slants forward and rests his arms on his knees. “If we bring Raven into the group and you fuck her, it’s going to cause drama. And I hate drama more than I hate rules.”
Hunter rolls his eyes. “Newsflash, brother: you’re the walking definition of drama.”
“Not girl drama,” he stresses. “That’s your thing.”
True. Hunter has been sleeping around since he turned thirteen and has never been with one girl more than once. But he has some deep, dark issues; ones that Zay and I are aware of, but no one else knows. Well, except for the woman who caused them.
And Zay is the exact opposite of Hunter in every way. He never sleeps around; can barely stand being touched. But we’ve done a lot to make sure no one finds that out about him. We’ve told lies and spread rumors.
It’s what we do. Have each other’s backs no matter what. Make sure no one knows our weakness so they can’t use them against us. This is how it’s been since we were old enough to realize how screwed up our families are. Then, when we turned twelve, we created The Raven Three just to set in stone who are and who we vow to be. And that’s how things have been since then. Just us three.
Until today, when Raven jumped off that damned bridge.
The three of us made a vow a long time ago that if anyone was ever brave enough to jump off the bridge, we’d bring them into the circle. Mostly it was just a joke and we never thought anyone would actually do it because to do it, you’ve got to be either a total adrenaline junkie or completely messed up in the head. We never thought some beautiful, scarred girl with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen would be the one to do it.
But it’s not like we had to make her one of us just because we made some vow forever ago. We could’ve easily not told her after Zay pulled her out of the river. We could’ve just driven her home, but something about her sad eyes, the scars, her defiance, the loneliness seeping from her, the stuff Zay found out about her… She’s almost as fucked up as us and that made us want to bring her into our group.
But bringing a female into our group could complicate things, which is why we need rules. I just hope everyone will follow them, but none of us have ever been good at following rules.
As Zay and Hunter continue to argue, I focus on setting more rules. “We have the rule I set earlier when Raven was around, but I want to make another rule for just us that kind of goes with that one. So rule number two is no sleeping with her.”
“But that doesn’t sound fun at all,” Hunter gripes, twisting back around in the seat.
“Rules aren’t meant to be fun,” I say as I slow down the car to make a turn. “Rule number three: no fighting over her. If there’s something that needs to be addressed that has to do with her, we’ll discuss it privately. I know that technically we’re going to bring her into our circle, but when it all comes down to it, if there’re any problems, it’ll end with just us three. Got it?”
Hunter melodramatically rolls his eyes. “Whatever, big brother. I get that you’re totally bossy.” When I continue to stare him down, he adds, “Fine, I got it. We come before her.”
“Good.” I glance at Zay in the rearview mirror. “What about you?”
He gives a nonchalant shrug. “You guys are more important to me than some girl will ever be.”
For the most part, I believe him. Except one small thing makes me hesitant. Zay saved her today, which was weird but not completely out of the realm of reality. No, what was completely insane was that he was the one to share his body heat with her. He said he had to do it because he was cold, but I think, deep down, he feels slightly connected to Raven because of her scars. Zay has scars too that run deep, both invisible ones and ones that mark his flesh.
When I don’t say anything, Zay glares at me. “If I say I got it, then I got it,” he snaps, slumping back in the seat.
“Okay.” I direct my attention back to the road. “And rule number four—”
“God, there’s another one?” Hunter groans, pinching the brim of his nose.
I ignore him, continuing, “We need to look more into her past. Zay, I know you got some information on her, but I want to know everything about her.” I flip on the blinker to make a turn onto a driveway. “If we’re going to let her into our inner circle, we need to make sure she is who she says she is. Because, if she ends up somehow tied to one of our enemies, she could mess up our freedom waiting for us at the end of the school year. And that’s not something I’m willing to risk just to help some girl make it through a year here. I’ll feed her to the wolves if it means we get our freedom, understand?”
“That’s harsh, man,” Hunter mutters.
“Harsh is what I need to be,” I say, feeling a hint of guilt over what I’m saying, but I shove it down with the rest of my feelings.
Feelings I never let out. It’s what I’ve been trained to do. To bottle up everything inside me. To be in control. I spent a lot of my childhood not being in control, my father and mother controlling my every move. When Zay, Hunter, and I moved in together and I got a taste of freedom, I took all of the control back that was taken from me. Now, I’m the one that does the controlling.
Hunter heaves a sigh. “Yeah, I get what you’re saying. We come first. We always have.”
As silence skips by, I glance back at Zay. “You good with these rules and looking into her more?” I ask as I slow to a stop in front of the gate to my father’s three-story house.
All the porch lights are on, lighting up the night, yet the place carries so much darkness for me.
Zay nods, but for a crazy second, I swear I see him hesitate.
“You didn’t find something out about her already, did you?” I question as I put the car into park.
He wavers. “The place Raven and her family lived when she was younger was in Kingsley’s territory, but I couldn’t find any connection between them and Raven’s family, so I think it’s okay. Plus, her last name is Wilowwynter, which I’ve never heard of before.”
“I hope so. But we should look into it more just to be safe.” Because if Raven is somehow connected to the Kingsley name, she’s definitely not going to be a part of our circle since the Kingsleys are the Capperellies’ number one and pretty much only constant rival.
The used to be a part of our town until they moved to the city. But we still have no association with them, and it's an unsaid rule that if you do, you'll be punished.
But all my worries about Raven dissipate as the gates open. They’re technically the gates to my father’s place, but for me, Hunter, and Zay, they feel more like the gates to Hell.
Chapter 14
Hunter
Jax and his stupid rules. It’s driving me crazy. Yeah, I get that he’s always kind of been the “boss” of our group, but only because he likes to boss everyone around. We don’t technically have a leader, and it’s worked for us since none of us have ever been good at following rules.
When we were younger, we used to get into trouble all the time. We still do, but I've learned how to sweet talk my way out of stuff, like this morning with Mrs. Elmford, the secretary at the high school. No matter how many times she acts like she's going to turn down my request for a pass to get out of class, she always ends up giving me one. Every single time. It's why I was so thrown off when I tried to flirt with Raven in the office, and she basically turned me down. Not that I ever gave up. No, I'm pretty damn persistent, especially when I meet the most amusing, gorgeous girl I've ever seen.
For the most part, I
like that I'm this way, can charm anyone I want to. But when things get serious, I start to struggle to keep the darkness inside me. It happens occasionally, and I've had a few breakdowns. Jax and Zay have seen me at some of my worst moments, and it wasn't pretty. But nothing about my life has been pretty. And from the age of eleven to the age of thirteen, darkness mostly surrounded me, the few exceptions being when I was around Zay and Jax. They're the reason I escaped the darkness—escaped her. My stepmother, who is still my stepmother, but I rarely see her. At least when I get my way. But tonight, things don’t seem to be going my way, something I realize as Jax, Zay, and I enter the spacious meeting room in his father’s house.
A long mahogany table runs up the center of the room in front of the fireplace and is surrounded by chairs and surveillance cameras. And sitting in one of the chairs is Diane, my wicked witch of a wench stepmother.
She’s wearing a red dress, a leather jacket, and a diamond necklace is around her neck. At first glance, I’d guess she was going out clubbing for the night, but this is how she always looks, overly dressed with sparkly things decorating her. But she’s kind of a sparkly thing herself, about fifteen years younger than my father. The only reason she married him was for his money and power. She doesn’t love him, doesn’t care that he sleeps around. Doesn’t care about anything except what she wants. And she’ll do anything to get it.
Anything.
My stomach churns as she smiles at me.
“Boys,” she greets us, her eyes lingering on me.
I hate when she looks at me. I often dream about a day when I can gouge out her eyes so she can never look at anyone again. But my father has made a rule that she’s off limits, and if we break any of our father’s rules right now. If we do, Jax, Zay, and I aren’t getting out of this hell at the end of our senior year. And we want out more than we want anything else.
The Raven Four: (The Raven Four Series, Book 1) Page 14
