Say Yes to a Second Chance

by Kirk, Cindy

  It amazed him that once he’d opened that door, Adrianna had so quickly become an integral part of his life.

  Yet, the depth of his feelings had terrified him. Losing Gayle had thrown him into a black hole that had taken him down so low that he’d wondered many times if he’d survive. What if something happened to Adrianna? Could he put himself in a position of caring so much again?

  “It’s just not working between us.”

  Whoa. Hold the damn horses. He pulled his thoughts back to the conversation, to the woman sitting across from him, her face an expressionless mask. “What did you say?”

  “This thing between us is not working. It’s best we end it now.”

  Fear, stark and unwelcome, wrapped itself around Tripp’s throat, making breathing difficult. “Tell me exactly what’s not working.”

  She lifted that blasted shoulder in another shrug.

  In that moment she reminded him of Gayle. All those times she’d refused to share feelings and concerns with him.

  Still, as much as a tiny voice inside told him this might be for the best, he couldn’t lose Adrianna. He tried again.

  “I believe openness and honesty are essential for any relationship to succeed.” Considering that his insides quivered like gelatin, he did a good job keeping his voice calm.

  She gave a humorless chuckle. “Really?”

  “Really.” His gaze never left hers.

  “It surprises me that you’d say that considering you never told me about your conversation with Poppy.”

  “I did tell you—”

  “Or of your decision to fully explore a mayoral bid. Then there’s the matter of your refusal to discuss Gayle with me. And let’s not forget that lukewarm kiss under the mistletoe Saturday night. What was going on there, Tripp? Because you’re all about being open and honest—why don’t you be all open and honest and tell me what was going on in your head at that moment?”

  He thought back to Saturday night, to the strong feelings for Adrianna welling up inside him, to the shock of seeing Poppy and being reminded of Gayle’s tirades. All he knew was, when he’d stepped under the mistletoe, he’d been seized with an intense need to step back, to regroup.

  “I’m not sure what happened at the party,” he said, hoping she’d hear the sincerity in his tone. “I’m still trying to sort it out.”

  “Well, I figured it out, so let me explain it for you.” Bright swaths of color crossed Adrianna’s high cheekbones. “You like me. Just not enough. You want to let me down easy, but because you’re not sure how to do it, you’re pushing me away, hoping I’ll be the one to walk.”

  Tripp paused. Pushing her away? If he was, it had been on a subconscious level.

  She picked up on his hesitation, and something that looked like sadness crossed her face. It was gone so quickly he thought he’d just imagined it.

  “It was good while it lasted, Tripp. But I need more. I deserve more.” She pushed back her chair and stood.

  Then, with her back ramrod straight, Adrianna walked out the door and out of his life.

  Chapter Twenty

  By the next day all of her friends knew she and Tripp were no longer seeing each other. For once Adrianna didn’t mind the gossip mill of a small community. It saved her from having to break the news.

  Still, her day was filled with well-meaning questions and concerned glances. She planned to go home, grab a dinner from the freezer and lose herself in a good book. Then she received a better offer.

  The call from Betsy came midafternoon. Ryan had a meeting that night and she asked if Adrianna was interested in a pizza party and movie. It would be just the two of them—four if you counted Nathan and Puffy.

  Even though Adrianna had no doubt Betsy would try to pry out of her the reason for the breakup, the alternative was to sit home and cry over a frozen dinner of rubbery chicken.

  Grabbing the pizza box, Adrianna sauntered up to the small cottage. Tonight she and her oldest and dearest friend would enjoy food, conversation and a movie with a happy ending. Adrianna could trust Betsy not to bring up the subject of Tripp. At least not until Adrianna had some pizza in her.

  Her friend met her at the door, the baby nestled in her arm.

  “I’m so glad you were available.” Betsy’s warm smile was like a balm to Adrianna’s aching heart. “It feels like forever since we’ve had a girls’ night.”

  Adrianna smiled and stepped inside onto the shiny hardwood floor. A faint scent of vanilla hung in the air.

  Puffy trotted out to greet her, looked her up and down, then pranced away.

  “How’s Puffy?” Adrianna asked. “Is she jealous of the baby?”

  “Not at all.” Betsy gestured for Adrianna to put the pizza box on the coffee table in the living room next to the plates, napkins and forks that were already there.

  Once she did, Betsy handed her son to Adrianna. “I’ll get the drinks. Do you want tea? Or I have beer if you’re in the mood for something a little stronger.”

  Adrianna thought about asking her friend if she had any Coyote Gold margarita mix, but decided against it. Alcohol never went well with the blues.

  “Tea will be fine.” Adrianna inhaled the fresh baby scent from the child in her arms. She dropped her gaze and found serious eyes staring up at her.

  “How are you, Nathan?” She took his little hand in her fingers and moved it up and down. “You’re a handsome boy. Yes, you are.”

  If she and Tripp had a child, he might look like this one with dark hair from her and blue eyes from him. Or the baby could get her green eyes and his blond hair. Or—

  Stop. Adrianna screwed her eyes shut against the pain. There would be no babies for her and Tripp. Her relationship with him was over. Done. Finished.

  “Where did Ryan go tonight?” she asked Betsy when her friend returned, eager to refocus her thoughts.

  “He’s meeting with some of the guys about Keenan’s appeal.”

  Some of the guys. Tripp?

  Adrianna blinked away the image of tousled blond hair and blue eyes. “Do you think your brother will get a new trial?”

  “The petition has been filed.” Betsy placed the heavy tumblers filled with ice and tea on the coasters on the coffee table before taking a seat on the sofa. “I want it to happen so badly I can taste it. But, like I’ve said before, I’m trying not to get my hopes up. That’s why I decided to stay home tonight. If it all falls through, I’ll be devastated.”

  Adrianna sighed. “I know the feeling.”

  “What happened with you and Tripp, Adrianna?” Betsy appeared genuinely puzzled. “Did he get scared? Is that why he called it off?”

  Adrianna stiffened. This was the part of the gossip that infuriated her. The assumption that Tripp had been the one to call things off. “I broke up with him.”

  “You’re kidding.” The shock on Betsy’s face would have been laughable at any other time.

  Adrianna felt oddly disappointed.

  “You’ve loved him since you were a teenager,” Betsy continued, and Adrianna realized that having a friendship that went way back wasn’t always a good thing.

  She took a sip of tea, carefully schooling her features. “I’m not the one for him.”

  “Is this about Gayle?” Not bothering with plates or forks, Betsy lifted a slice of pizza from the box and took a bite. “After seeing the two of you together...I really thought he was over her.”

  Before Adrianna could speak, Puffy strutted back into the room and hopped onto a nearby chair.

  Adrianna shifted uncomfortably beneath the Pomeranian’s unyielding stare. In her arms, Nathan began to stir.

  Betsy dropped her slice onto a plate and reached for her baby. “I’ll put him in his Pack ’n Play. That way we can keep an eye on him.”

  Giving up the warm bundle snuggled against her chest was hard, but Adrianna handed the baby to her friend, hoping this interruption would be a perfect opportunity to change the subject. Once Betsy resumed sitting, Adrianna smiled. �
��How do you like yours?”

  “I love my Pack ’n Play.” Betsy reached over and took her hand. “Do you really want to talk about baby equipment?”

  “More than I want to talk about Tripp,” she quipped.

  A look of compassion settled over Betsy’s face. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” To her horror, tears welled in her eyes. “Or him.”

  She blinked rapidly at Betsy and Puffy. Both had pity in their eyes. “He was mounting a campaign for mayor and didn’t even tell me.”

  “He never mentioned it?”

  “Well, maybe once,” Adrianna grudgingly admitted, “in passing.”

  Betsy thoughtfully chewed on a bite of pizza. “Is that why you broke up with him? Because he withheld that fact?”

  There was no condemnation in her tone, only curiosity.

  “That’s right.” Adrianna lifted the glass of tea to her mouth with shaky hands.

  Puffy barked once, her dark eyes firmly fixed on Adrianna.

  Puzzled, Adrianna glanced at Betsy. “What does she want?”

  “She doesn’t believe that’s the whole story,” Betsy said with an airy wave. “Neither do I.”

  Adrianna shifted uncomfortably. “Okay, so maybe the reason is a little more complicated.”

  She found herself slanting a glance at Puffy, who remained silent. The dog’s deep brown eyes bored into her, demanding she further explain. “I have all these jumbled-up feelings I can’t decipher.”

  “I think I know you pretty well.” Betsy’s voice was solemn, her eyes serious. “Do you mind if I take a whack at it?”

  “Yes, I mind,” Adrianna retorted.

  Betsy grinned. “Well, I’m going to give you my theory anyway.”

  Adrianna settled back against the sofa and crossed her arms. “If you feel you must,” she said stiffly.

  “When you were growing up, you focused your romantic fantasies on Tripp, not only because he was good-looking and kind, but unattainable.”

  Confused, Adrianna cocked her head.

  “It’s the same reason teenagers fall in love with rock stars and actors. They’re safe. You know you’re free to fantasize and love them from afar.”

  “I never stopped liking Tripp.”

  Puffy gave a staccato bark.

  Adrianna whirled toward the dog. “It’s true.”

  “Think carefully,” Betsy urged.

  “He was at another school,” Adrianna protested. “And in love with Gayle. Then, married.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I didn’t think of him in the same way then.”

  Puffy stared for a second, then bent to lick a paw.

  “What about after that jerk you were dating disappointed you?”

  “I may have thought about him a time or two after that,” Adrianna admitted.

  “You refocused on Tripp because you were scared. You didn’t want to give your heart to someone new because you might be hurt. Tripp was safe. He was married. Even after he lost his wife, he was on the East Coast, two thousand miles away.”

  Adrianna pondered the words and swore she saw Puffy nod.

  “What does that have to do with now?” Adrianna asked. “I’ve gotten to know Tripp well since he moved back, even better once we began dating.”

  “I’m thinking that once you got to know him, the blinders were off. You didn’t like what you saw.” Betsy’s tone was matter-of-fact. “That’s natural. We build someone up in our mind and often once we really get to know them, we discover they aren’t that great of a person.”

  “Tripp Randall is a wonderful man,” Adrianna said indignantly, sitting bolt-upright. “He’s caring. He’s compassionate. I won’t allow you to speak badly of him.”

  Betsy lifted a glass of tea to her lips, partially hiding a smile. “If he’s so wonderful, why break up with him?”

  The decision to call it quits with Tripp had been an impulsive one, brought on by a stressful day. But the underlying reasons that had troubled her, that had fueled that decision, remained. “While I think Tripp cares about me, perhaps even loves me, I’m not his soul mate.”

  Adrianna stumbled over the word, remembering the conversation she’d overheard between Tripp and Hailey. “I know you think what I felt for Tripp when I was young was simply infatuation. There was this moment, when I was fourteen, and our eyes locked...”

  Her heart fluttered, remembering the connection. “I looked into his eyes and, for me, something clicked.” Adrianna gave a little laugh. “It was probably just an overactive adolescent imagination.”

  Betsy—and Puffy—remained silent.

  “I could lie and tell myself that even if he didn’t love me quite as much, I loved him enough for both of us. But I can’t do it. I want to be first in my husband’s heart. I want him to kiss me senseless—anytime, anywhere—simply because he’s crazy about me. I don’t think that’s asking for too much.” By the time she finished, Adrianna was breathing hard, as if she’d just run a long race.

  A race she’d lost. A race that was over before it had begun.

  Puffy jumped off the chair and hopped up on the sofa. The Pomeranian rested her head on Adrianna’s lap and expelled a heavy sigh.

  “My sentiments exactly, Puffball.” Adrianna stroked the dog’s soft hair and let a wave of sadness wash over her. “Sometimes life sucks.”

  * * *

  I need more. I deserve more.

  The last words Adrianna had said to him played over and over in Tripp’s mind, like one of those records his father spun on his old-fashioned turntable. Tripp’s business mind had mentally noted all the complaints she’d lodged. He didn’t talk to her about Gayle, hadn’t immediately told her about meeting Poppy for lunch or mentioned he was conferring with someone about mounting a campaign for mayor.

  His anger rose. What if he didn’t want to discuss Gayle with her? Most women would be happy not to have a man bring up a former woman in his life. And he had told her about Poppy and about looking into running for mayor.

  Tripp raked his fingers through his hair. Why hadn’t she just told him the truth? She’d wanted out. Adrianna just plain didn’t want him anymore.

  The thought was a lightning bolt to his heart, the pain hot and searing. Strong enough to bring moisture to his eyes, which he quickly wiped away.

  It was for the best, he told himself. If losing her now hurt this much—and he was man enough to admit that it did hurt—how much worse would it have been in a year? Ten?

  The doorbell rang and Tripp bit back an expletive. All morning the buzzer had sounded with kids selling candy, popcorn and cookies. Today was only the beginning. They’d be coming all week. Until now he’d bought from every one of them. He didn’t need any more candy, cookies or interruptions.

  He strode across his living room and jerked open the door. “Look, I already bought—”

  “Good morning to you, too.” His mother slipped past him and stood poised by the living room sofa. “Can I stay if I promise not to try to sell you anything?”

  Tripp grabbed pieces of newspaper off the floor and kicked a pair of shoes behind a chair. Since Adrianna had walked out of his life, he’d found it difficult to summon much energy for household chores. “Is Dad okay?”

  “He’s fine. Sends his love. I’m here because you haven’t returned my calls. Your office said you were working from home.” Her brows furrowed in motherly worry. “You look terrible.”

  “I’m okay.” Every day was easier, he told himself, though he recognized the lie. “Great, in fact.”

  She settled herself on the sofa. “I heard you and Adrianna aren’t together anymore.”

  He braced himself, ready for her to expound on how perfect they were for each other and what a fool he was for letting her go. God knew he’d heard that little sermon enough the past couple of days. That was one of the reasons he’d decided to work from home today. He couldn’t stand the sympathetic looks and the advice.
/>   “I’m sorry,” his mother said.

  He widened his eyes in surprise.

  “I know you’re hurting, son,” she said softly. “Is there anything I can do?”

  His laugh was devoid of humor. “I thought you’d be telling me that I need to go to her, to make amends for whatever it was I’d done. Telling me you love her and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “There’s no need for me to say it.” His mother leaned forward. “You know all those things. For whatever reason, that’s not the path you’ve chosen to take.”

  Tripp dropped down into a chair to face her. He blew out a breath. “It’s not that I don’t want to make amends. I just think that perhaps it’s better this way.”

  “Do you love her?” The question was so soft and low that for a second he wondered if he’d only imagined it.

  “I do,” he said, then decided to bare his soul. “I believe I love her more than I did Gayle. Does that shock you?”

  His mother’s gaze searched his. “Why should that shock me?”

  “Because Gayle and I were together forever.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Yet, things were often hard between us. With Adrianna, everything seems easy.”

  “To be fair, there will be difficult times with Adrianna. Anytime you’re with someone a long time, there are valleys as well as peaks. That said, I do believe you and Adrianna are a better match.”

  “That’s what Gayle thought.” He gave a harsh chuckle. “I can’t count the number of times she told me to leave, to go to Adrianna.”

  His mother’s eyes widened. “You and Adrianna were involved while you were married?”

  “No. No, of course not.” Tripp closed his eyes for a second and gathered his composure. “Can I get you something to drink? I don’t have much, but—”

  “Why would Gayle say such things to you?”

  “She was jealous. Way back when we were in high school, she told me she didn’t think Adrianna was pretty. I disagreed. She got upset and we had a big fight. It was around the time her parents split.”