“But you were supposed to find me in bed with my Oscar this morning.”
“I know.” Gigi sighed. “Cavell’s a bitch. Yada yada. Now get up.”
* * *
Katarina entered the kitchen to see Clay standing at the counter blending a detox cocktail for her.
“There’s my girl,” he said. “Here’s a little something to help you flush out all that sugar.”
“Gigi ratted me out, huh?” She cinched her silk robe around her trim waist and took her seat at the kitchen table.
He waited a moment, then placed a glass of the concoction in front of Rina and sat quietly opposite her.
“I’m so disappointed, Clay.”
“I know, honey. Me too.”
“I poured my heart into this role.”
“I know you feel it way worse, but I thought that we’d own the world today.”
“I know you understand,” she added. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t appreciate all the things you do to keep me desirable.”
He patted her hand and smiled. “Let’s be clear—you’re desirable enough without me. We’ll get it next time,” he said softly.
Rina took a sip of her drink and crinkled her nose on the swallow.
Clay chuckled. “I know, but trust me, you’ll feel much better after you drink it.”
Her full lips curled upward on the right. “Well, I certainly can’t feel much worse.”
“There’s no second-guessing this,” Clay began. “Who knows why she was chosen over you.”
“The Academy isn’t to blame—my performance in Allies of Night was.”
“That’s crazy talk,” he said. “Your performance was flawless.”
“Then it was me. Whatever it was about me that just didn’t break through to that level of runaway excellence.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on yourself?”
“Perhaps it’s time someone was.”
“Britney Cavell can’t compare to you, so you shouldn’t ever measure yourself against her.”
“I don’t care anymore.”
“Since when?”
“Since right now. Or maybe since about the fifteenth cookie.”
“Rina, what is going on with you?” he asked. “You’ve been off lately.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m getting stale—irrelevant. Old. Even though the camera filmed my good side last night, on the large screen I just looked…old! An actress in her fifties in Hollywood might as well be a hundred.”
“You can’t be serious about being irrelevant. And you look like you’re forty.”
“I am serious.”
“Irrelevant actresses don’t get nominated for Best Actress awards. You’re in good company. You have one more Oscar than Streep, and she’s lost more times than you. Including last night. This is just the sugar dive talking.”
Rina stared off into the distance wistfully. “I love Meryl. And I am younger than she is…Gigi, make a note for me to call her.” She snapped back to the moment and looked at Clay. “I need a change. As much as I hate how I feel, maybe there’s a valuable lesson in this.”
“We don’t have to talk about it right now, and I know it’s a little soon to be asking, but have you given any thought to what you’d like to do next?”
“I’ll wait to see what I get offered—considering I didn’t win.” She shut her eyes, gulped the concoction, scrunched her face after finishing it, and then opened her eyes. “Rehab!” she blurted out.
Clay laughed. “For what? You don’t do drugs. You drink only socially…”
“For chocolate.”
He laughed harder. “You want me to find you a chocolate rehab?”
“I don’t care what kind of rehab. I need to get away from all of this for a while.” Her gaze drifted over the room and then to Clay’s eyes when he spoke.
“Would you like to go home to Italy? Maybe visit your mother? How about a cruise? I’ll charter a boat in the Caribbean and you can float around.”
She stared at him with Blank Expression Number Two—pursed lips and no blinking. “No, I don’t want to go to Italy. The last thing I need right now is my hypercritical mother telling me why I lost and then everyone clamoring to get something from me. And I can’t just float around, Clay. I need to get rid of this feeling.”
“Don’t think I don’t know that you just shot me Blank Expression Number Two. What feeling?”
“The feeling of being…me. Of living a cloistered life—always under a microscope. The feeling of getting old—the fear of becoming irrelevant. You want more?”
“Wait a sec. Somehow you think rehab for a nonexistent addiction will fix that?” Clay stood and kissed Rina on the top of her head. “Why don’t you go shower and dress, and we’ll go shopping on Rodeo Drive. You can buy me something expensive. That always makes you feel better.”
“Nice try.” She smiled up at him. “I’m afraid not even Rodeo Drive could fix what’s wrong with me today.”
“I’m not going to let you sit here and wallow.” He pulled out his cell phone and placed the call. “She needs you in one hour,” was all he said before he disconnected. “Maribelle will be here soon.”
“I can’t believe you called my trainer.”
“You always feel better after Maribelle.” He thought for a moment. “All you do with her is work out, right?”
“Clay! I’m not interested in Maribelle.”
“Okay, just checking in case I need to protect you.” He turned to leave.
“Find me that rehab, Clay.”
“You were serious about that?”
“Dead serious.”
He scratched his head. “One chocolate rehab coming up, I guess.”
Chapter Three
A creature of habit, Julia Dearling always counted her tips and cleaned up at the end of the night. Tonight, however, her manager, Cass, took over the evening ritual of closing up the Starlight Diner.
Cass gave Julia the once-over. “You’re not going out on your date dressed like that, are you?”
“No, I brought a change of clothes.”
“Those sexy new jeans that show off your ass?”
Julia grinned. “Maybe.”
“Go change for your date. Nicki’s going to be here soon, and you know how she hates waiting.”
Julia checked the time. “Damn, she’ll be here in five minutes.”
Cass looked up when the Mustang’s headlights reflected off the diner’s window. “She’s early.”
Julia grabbed her knapsack. “Keep her busy,” she said as she raced for the ladies’ room. Julia washed her face and changed into her new sweater and jeans. She freshened the eye shadow that Cass had said made her eyes appear even bluer, and while looking in the mirror, she wished that the bridge of her nose wasn’t quite so high. Julia hastily brushed her long brown hair, put on some lipstick and blush, and stepped back from the mirror to see how it all came together. “This will have to do.”
Barely one breath after, she reentered the dining room. “Hi, sweetie, I’m ready,” she said with a hard exhale.
Dressed in black jeans, cowgirl boots, and a suede jacket over her custom-made shirt, Nicki strode over and met Julia midway. “I missed you,” Nicki said. “You ready to go?”
“Can’t wait.”
“What movie are you going to see?” asked Cass.
“Allies of Night,” Julia replied excitedly.
“The Katarina Verralta movie?”
“Uh-huh. I wish we didn’t have to wait so long for movies to make it all the way out here to the desert. Especially her movies.”
Nicki rolled her eyes. “I must really like you to agree to see a sappy chick flick.”
Julia laughed. “You do like me! It’s not a sappy chick flick. G’night, Cass.”
“Have fun, you two,” she replied as they left.
Nicki started the car, leaned in, and pulled Julia close. They spent the next minute kissing before Julia fell back into her seat.
Nicki grinned. “I’ll say.” She exited the lot onto the desert two-lane, heading for the only nearby town with a theater.
“How was your day?” asked Julia.
“Stellar. I sold two newer cars and made a bundle on them. That’s the seventh sale in three days.”
“You’ve built a good reputation, Nicki.”
“Customers are coming from as far away as the Arizona line. The word is out!”
“Is it enough?”
“What?”
“Does owning a used car dealership make you happy?”
“I’m pretty happy right now, Julia. I made a lot of money this week.”
“That’s great. But that wasn’t what I meant.”
“Are you going to get all deep on me now?”
Julia smiled. “N-no. Let’s just go enjoy the movie.”
“I want popcorn—I’m hungry.”
Julia reached into her knapsack and came up with a freshly wrapped turkey sandwich on rye.
Nicki glanced away from the road. “Is that for me?”
“Yes, I’m starting to get the hang of dating you. You change your mind every ten seconds. When you called today, you said you didn’t want me to bring food to the movie for you—so I brought something anyway.”
Nicki’s hand crept across the console and caressed Julia’s thigh, stroking it gently. “You’re the best.”
For the twenty-minute ride along the dark back roads between the two sleepy California desert towns, Julia found it hard to take her eyes off of Nicki, so confident and sexy in her tomboyish style, with her short black hair with the long bangs that fell across her eyes. And that lanky swagger she had—as much sensual as it was anything else. Finally, she looked away. “Oh! We’re almost there. How fast were you going?”
“This new Mustang is sweet, isn’t she? You ought to let me put you in something newer than that junker you drive.”
“Maybe,” said Julia. A car’s a car, she thought.
“I mean if we’re going to be dating, I can’t have my friends thinking that I’d let you drive something like that.”
“You care what your friends think about my car?”
“It just doesn’t look right, you know?” Nicki pulled into the parking lot of the Indian Rock Theater.
“I’ll let you know when I can afford a car payment.”
“If business keeps up the way it’s been going, I’ll just give you one.” Nicki pulled into a parking space. “Even the worst car on my lot would be a step up.”
“I don’t really want a different car.”
“Sure you do. Everyone loves a new ride.”
They walked to the theater entrance; Nicki, as usual, was five or more steps ahead of Julia. If I stopped walking, I wonder how long it would take her to figure out I’m not beside her.
“Two for Allies of Night,” Nicki said, tossing a fifty through the cashier’s window. She took the change and handed it to Julia. “Why don’t you go get some popcorn or whatever and I’ll find some seats.”
“You mind sitting midway up and on the aisle?” Julia answered.
Nicki smiled. “See you inside.”
A few minutes later, Julia juggled her popcorn and drink as she entered the sparsely populated theater. Her eyes had to adjust to the light before she found Nicki—who was all the way up in the second to last row and in the center seats. She sat next to her and whispered. “I don’t like sitting in the middle of a row.”
“There’s no one else in the row,” Nicki whispered back.
“How about farther down?”
Nicki issued an exasperated sigh. “Whatever.”
Julia extended her hand to keep Nicki in her seat. “It’s fine. Really.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
Julia handed Nicki her sandwich as the movie theme began. Then, forsaking her surroundings, Nicki, and even herself, she sank down into her seat and allowed herself to be pulled into a montage of opening scenes set to a rich and melodic score. It transported her over the aerial expanse of Paris, soaring above the Seine and red clay rooftops. The ominously gray city, saturated beyond wet, was foreign to Julia in every way.
The camera zoomed in gradually to and through an old window of an ornate building as gray as the sky, as old as winter. The woman in the bed within opened eyes so mesmerizing that Julia thought they alone were worth the price of admission, mutable green eyes that the press had rightly said rivaled Sophia Loren’s. To Julia, Katarina Verralta’s beauty was unmatched—even by the likes of Charlize Theron, although Theron was younger.
Julia watched, immersed, as Katarina Verralta fell in love on the big screen again, like she had in so many movies before. This time around, the woman in the story put her life in jeopardy in a World War II movie about spies, saving her lover—and becoming all the wiser for having loved.
Once, about midway through the film Julia glanced over at Nicki, only to discover that she had nodded out. By the time the house lights came on, though, she was wide-awake and eager to leave. Julia, on the other hand, wished she had another minute, or an hour, to savor all the emotions the film had evoked in her. It had made her both happy and sad—happy that she’d spent the evening devouring Verralta’s classic beauty and extraordinary talent, and sad that the film had ended.
Julia turned to Nicki as they approached the car. “How did she not win the Oscar for this picture? It’s one of her best performances.”
Nicki shrugged, then yawned when they got back into the Mustang. “Sorry, that film put me right out.” She chuckled. “Guess you can call that movie a snore.”
Julia remained quiet, replaying in her mind the scenes between the lovers—how they had craved each other’s touch, had vowed their undying devotion. She wondered what it felt like to have that—someone who’d look at her that way. To love someone so much that all she ever thought about was her kiss or maybe the way she spoke her name.
“Right?” Nicki said.
Julia snapped back to reality. “Huh? I’m sorry. I was thinking about the movie.”
Lingering still in the world of the film, Julia thought about the most beautiful woman God had ever created and how she had portrayed falling in love. She glanced over at Nicki, who while cute and tomboyish, lacked the soft sensuality that oozed from a seasoned and elegant woman like Katarina Verralta. Knowing it would be fruitless to try to persuade Nicki to appreciate what she did about the movie, she simply said, “I’m too tired to discuss the film. Mind if we do that some other time? It’s been a long day.”
“No, babe, not at all.”
They rode in silence for twenty minutes until Nicki turned onto the road that led to Julia’s ranch—the Y2, which her father had named for her and her sister. Julia hopped out, unlocked the gate, and waited for Nicki to drive through it before getting back into the car.
“Don’t you want to close the gate behind me?” asked Nicki.
“Not tonight, sweetie. I’m tired. I think I just want to go to bed.”
“And you don’t want me in that bed next to you?”
Nicki rolled up to the house and Julia didn’t give her the chance to put the car in park. She leaned over and kissed Nicki’s lips. “Speak with you tomorrow,” she said with her fingers on the door handle. “Will you…?”
“I’ll close the gate on my way out.”
“Good night, and thanks for the movie.”
“Sure, but next time I get to choose. Prepare for a Terminator marathon.”
Nicki waited until Julia was inside, and then her tires kicked up the driveway dust as they spun out.
Julia entered the house, poured a glass of pinot grigio to keep her company as she lay down by the small fire she built in the fireplace. There, she replayed the luscious textured scenes of a stormy Paris night and the way they had made her feel. Followed by a replay of the close-ups of Katarina Verralta in bed with a sheet barely covering her breasts. She fell asleep by the f
ire holding onto that vision.
Chapter Four
Julia met this sunrise astride Lightning, unencumbered and on her own terms. She rode toward a daylight that cast its first shadows on her. Lightning’s hooves clopped against the taupe earth, straining to reach the far end of the trail. Midway up the hump of mountain on the distant side of the ranch, Julia scanned the disc-shaped lenticular clouds that hovered above the peak like a UFO.
She contemplated the expanse of desert below her and took comfort in the creaking of saddle leather when she shifted her weight. The early morning chill, made brisk by the breeze of a trot, carried the scent of morning mesquite and damp desert. Is there anything better than this? She took a deep breath and savored it before patting the side of the horse’s neck. “Come on, boy, time to go back.”
Lightning lazily swayed from side to side as he descended the elevation, while Julia reflected on her movie date with Nicki. She was glad she had spent the night alone. Had she invited Nicki to stay, she would have missed the intimacy of this ride and the sunrise, which surely never would be duplicated.
She breathed in the moist woody aroma suspended in the air around her and thought again of the rainy Paris scenes in the film she had just seen, daydreaming about visiting Paris, feeling the rain, falling in love. I doubt Paris in the rain smells anything like morning mesquite, she thought. She clicked her tongue. “Come on, Lightning. That diner doesn’t run itself.”
When the lunch rush at the diner ended, Julia poured a cup of coffee and sat at the counter. She yawned and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it to closing.”
Cass passed her with an armful of bussed dishes. “Wild night on the ranch with your girlfriend?” she teased.
“I sent her home.”
Cass deposited the dishes in the rubberized container. “Really?”
“Uh-huh.”
Cass leaned against the counter. “You two have some kinda spat?”
“No. I was tired and I didn’t want to miss my sunrise ride.”
“I’ll bet Nicki wasn’t happy about being dismissed like that.”
“I didn’t dismiss her.”
“I know you—yes, ya’ did. I don’t think she’s heard the word ‘no’ very often. A lot of girls would like to go out with her.”
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