by Gerri Hill
“Nice,” Lexie said. “Better than a restaurant brunch, I think.”
“Didn’t you say your Austin brunches involved Bloody Marys?” Mark asked as he scooped a large helping of the casserole onto his plate.
“After a night out, yes. I don’t miss that.”
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back?” Susan asked.
Kyler watched as Lexie seemed to consider the question. “Honestly, I haven’t even thought about it. I suppose on the drive back, I’ll call Trish. Knowing her, she’ll plan a dinner out with some of our friends.”
“Gonna hit the gym?” Mark asked.
Lexie looked at Kyler, not Mark. “Maybe I’ll hit the greenbelt and try to find a hiking trail.” She returned her gaze to Mark. “But yes, I suppose I’ll go to the gym at some point.”
“Yeah, well I offered to go hiking with Kyler. How scary is that?”
Lexie smiled at him. “Next thing you know, you’ll be on a mountain bike. I’m going to leave mine here. Why don’t you try it out?”
“You’re leaving it here?” Kyler asked.
“Yes. I don’t have a rack for it, and I don’t think I can cram it into my backseat.”
Kyler was going to offer to take the front tire off, which would make it easier to “cram,” but she didn’t. Maybe a part of her thought that if she left the bike here, then it meant she’d be back. Of course, if she left it here, yes, Mark could use it. Getting him out on a hiking trail would be a big thing. Getting him out on a bike would be momentous.
Everyone seemed to be looking at Mark, even Dale. Mark plopped a hash brown pancake onto his plate. “You know, I think maybe I might try it out, sis.” He glanced at her then. “Ky is going to need a riding partner.”
Lexie’s hand found her arm and squeezed it tightly. “Yes. I think that’s a wonderful plan.”
Susan seemed to visibly exhale, and she nodded. “Yes. Maybe that’ll get you away from the restaurant more often. Irene can handle things just fine if you’re gone.”
“Mom, Irene is eighty.”
“So? She hasn’t lost a step since we moved up here. If she was stuck at her ranch by herself, I think she would waste away. Working up here gives her a purpose.”
“Speaking of Irene,” Mark said, “she’s taking a few days off. Her granddaughter is coming to visit for a while.”
“Oh, yes. She had told me she might come right after Christmas. Went through a nasty divorce this summer, Irene said.” Her mother shook her head. “Her husband was abusive, to hear Irene tell it.”
“Any children?” Lexie asked.
“Yes, that’s what was so sad. A little boy, only two. Ended up in the hospital one time.”
“It’s good that she’s getting away then.”
“When Irene offered, she didn’t think Jamie would agree. She’s never been out here. In fact, it’s been years since Irene has seen her. Obviously, she’s never met her great-grandson.” Her mother looked at Lexie. “She’s probably close to your age, I guess. Of course, I don’t think she’s coming to live permanently. Irene thought a month or two.”
“Is she from Dallas?” Mark asked.
“I believe so.”
Lexie sat beside her at the table, moving her leg so that their knees were touching. Kyler smiled at her, glad for the contact. After brunch, she was going to help Lexie finish packing. Then they were going to go to her cabin and spend the rest of the day. In bed. Saying their goodbyes. Lexie wouldn’t spend the night with her, though. They’d already agreed. They were going to have a simple dinner. They would make a campfire and sit out and watch the stars. Lexie would go home to sleep, though. She wanted to get away at daybreak. She had a seven-hour drive to contend with.
Then she’d be gone—back to Austin. Back to familiar things and familiar friends. And Kyler would be here, in a place she loved, with people she loved. She and Mark would go back to their old routine, Susan would invite her to dinner, Tammy and Phil would have her out to the ranch, and yes, she’d go over to Irene’s and take a ride with her up to Mount Livermore. Maybe she’d make friends with Irene’s granddaughter. Maybe she wouldn’t miss Lexie that much.
A hand on her thigh brought her attention around and she met Lexie’s gaze. Did Lexie know what she was thinking? She must. Her eyes were warm and, dared she say, loving? Yes, they were. She offered a small smile and covered Lexie’s hand with her own.
It wasn’t the end of the world, she told herself. Even if Lexie decided to stay in Austin, it wasn’t like they’d never see each other again. Her family was here and now that she’d been here, Kyler assumed she’d come back to visit. And when she did, she could see them continuing their affair. That is, unless Lexie started seeing someone in Austin. That thought made her take in a sharp breath. So then, yeah, that might be the end of the world.
Chapter Forty-seven
Lexie stood at the window, watching a red sports car buzz through the parking lot, spewing water from the misty rain. When she saw the blur of red, for one brief—crazy—second, she thought Kyler was there. With a sigh, she spun around, taking in the clutter in her apartment. Mounds of boxes, some packed and taped, others still opened. How had she possibly accumulated this much crap?
She couldn’t muster up the energy to continue packing, however. She needed to shower and dress anyway. Trish was coming by. As expected, she’d put together a dinner party at one of their favorite Mexican food places.
Trish had been ecstatic when Lexie had called her. She’d been at her apartment waiting, along with two of their friends, when Lexie arrived. Disregarding Lexie’s exhaustion after her long drive, they’d whisked her away for a meal and margaritas before she’d even had a chance to unpack her car. She’d ordered her usual veggie burger and it was stuffed with fresh spinach and sprouts, a thick tomato slice, and two creamy avocado wedges. All that on a sprouted whole wheat bun. But all she could think about was Kyler’s frozen veggie patties that she’d found at Potter’s. A frozen patty that she’d taken to Mark’s bar and had them make her a burger on a plain white bun. A burger Kyler had delivered to the lodge. No spinach, no sprouts. It had been the best burger ever, she knew now. It had been the best because of the woman who had sat across from her for their impromptu lunch date.
She blew out a heavy breath, trying to muster some enthusiasm for the night ahead. Ten or twelve people would be there. She couldn’t imagine that many of them had missed her all that much, but it was an excuse for dinner and drinking, she supposed. And come Saturday—as Trish had reminded her—they were going to go down Sixth Street for barhopping. And that meant a Sunday brunch would follow.
She shoved some things around on her sofa to give her room to sit. She picked up her phone, holding it for a moment. She’d spoken to Kyler only once since she’d been back. That was to let her know she’d made it to Austin safely—this done from Trish’s car so she wasn’t able to chat. Of course, she’d only been back three days. Still, she’d spoken to her mother twice. Without debating it further, she called Kyler. She answered right away.
“Hey!”
“Hi. Are you busy?”
“I’ve got campground duty this week. Cleaning out the fire pits. So not busy, no.”
Lexie pictured Kyler in her uniform, busying herself around the campsite, pausing to watch a bird if one flew by. She was right at home there, in her element. “It’s raining here.”
“Is it? Blue skies here. As usual. I wouldn’t mind a rainy day.” Kyler laughed quietly. “Why are we talking about the weather?”
Lexie sighed. “I miss you. I miss talking to you.”
There was only a slight pause. “Is that all you miss?”
She gave a quiet laugh. “No. I miss other things too.”
“I miss you too.”
“I probably shouldn’t have called.”
“Why not? Friends call.”
She chewed on her lower lip. “Yes, but we’re not only friends.” She cleared her throat. “I s
aid I wasn’t going to call, and I should stick to that. I’m sorry. I was just—” What? Missing you? Missing there? What?
“Lexie, you take the time you need. I’ll still be here, regardless. I’m not going anywhere. Call me whenever you need to.”
“Yes. I know.”
“So, you went out with your friends the other night. How was it?”
“It was okay. I was too exhausted to enjoy myself, I think. Trish has a dinner party planned for tonight. And Sixth Street on Saturday, of course, and then—”
“Brunch on Sunday,” Kyler finished for her.
“And brunch on Sunday.” She was exhausted just thinking about all the plans she had. Normal stuff. Things she used to do every day.
“Sounds like fun.”
“Does it?”
“Well, not really.”
She laughed at that. “What? Too peoplely for you?”
“Well, you know the kind of crowds I’m used to.”
“I know.” She paused. “I guess I should let you get back to your campgrounds. It was good to hear your voice.”
“You too.” There was a long pause, as if they both had more to say but were afraid to. Kyler finally broke the silence. “Bye, Lexie.”
She laid the phone in her lap, surprised that—if she let them—tears were threatening to fall. She got up quickly. She needed to snap out of it. She needed to do what she’d said she’d do. She would go out, be with her friends and evaluate her life. She’d do like she always did. She’d weigh out each facet, she’d list her pros and cons, she’d worry over the decision before she actually made one. And she would get her apartment packed up. That was a must. Regardless of what her decision was, she wasn’t staying here.
* * *
Kyler sat down at her usual barstool, noting the emptiness of the one next to her. She turned her attention to Mark, who was looking at her with concerned eyes.
“I’m okay.”
“You don’t look okay.”
“She called me today.”
“Oh, yeah?” He took a mug from the freezer and filled it. “I thought the plan was not to call.”
“It was.”
“So?”
Kyler shrugged. “We talked for a minute, maybe.”
“She misses you?”
“Yeah. And she’s going out tonight. Dinner party. And the thing on Sixth Street on Saturday doing whatever it is they do.”
“Barhopping,” he supplied.
“And brunch on Sunday.”
“So back to her normal routine.”
“Yeah, seems like.”
He leaned his elbows on the bar, getting to her eye level. “Did you fall in love with my sister?”
She sighed. “Maybe.”
He smiled and stood back up. “Then have faith. Love is a special thing.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“I would.”
She touched his hand lightly and nodded. “Yes, you would. I hope to have what you had some day. And unending love.”
“Give it time.”
“Time? It’s been three days and I feel like it’s been three months. I’m not sure how long I can go.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I feel like I want to go chase after her. Tell me not to.”
“You want to go to Austin and drag her back?”
“Yes. Well, you know, not drag.” She picked up her beer. “I didn’t think I’d miss her this much.”
“Tomorrow’s your day off, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Take me on a bike ride.”
She jerked her head up. “Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
She reached across the bar and squeezed his hand. “Okay. Sure.”
“Good. So quit moping around. She’ll be back.”
She met his gaze. “You think so?”
“I hope so. We don’t need both of us up here with empty hearts.”
Chapter Forty-eight
Lexie sat at the corner table, still nursing her first margarita. Chatter and laughter went on around her and no one seemed to notice her lack of participation. Even Trish. Lexie took the time to observe them—her friends. Nine of them. Two she’d known since college, like Trish. They were friends that she got together with occasionally, usually in a group like this. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever had a one-on-one with any of them, other than Trish.
She listened to their conversations—some recounting Christmas activities but most centered on local gossip and a rehashing of old news. She’d been gone five weeks and hadn’t missed a thing, apparently.
She’d been back three days and she missed plenty, though. God, yes, but she missed her. She had thought, when she left Austin, that she’d be lonely out in West Texas. Little did she know that the opposite would occur. She was around friends in a familiar place, doing familiar things, yet she was as lonely as she could ever remember being.
She let them prattle on without her as her mind drifted back to the mountains—the clear blue skies, the junipers and oaks, the rocks and stones, the bird garden, and the dark, dark skies filled with stars. And of course, the woman who walked among all those things, the woman who had taught her to love them all. The piñon pines, the doves, the red-tailed hawk…and the woman herself.
Had she fallen in love with Kyler? Or had she escaped before she lost her heart? Her assertion that she didn’t want Kyler to be a factor in whether she moved or not—that wasn’t really the case, was it? If she hadn’t been there, if she’d never met Kyler, then she wouldn’t have come to love and appreciate the things there—nature, for one. Having her parents there, Mark, that wouldn’t have been enough. But Kyler taught her how to love the little things, how to love nature and look for the beauty in the simplest of things. If Kyler wasn’t there, she wouldn’t have the same fondness for the place, she knew that.
Didn’t her feelings for Austin mirror that? She wasn’t happy here. Wasn’t that why she left in the first place? She wasn’t happy here any longer. Being away for five weeks hadn’t changed that. It reinforced it if anything. She had needed a change in her life, a new direction. That had nothing whatsoever to do with Kyler.
Then why the hell had she come back? What was she afraid of?
Someone nudged her arm. “What planet are you on?”
She blinked several times, finding Trish staring at her. “What?”
“I said your name like four times. Did you space out?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
“What’s wrong? You’ve only said a handful of words all night. And is that still your first drink?”
She tucked her hair behind both ears. “Trish, this was a mistake.”
“What? Dinner?”
She shook her head. No. They couldn’t have a heart-to-heart talk here. “Now’s not the right time to talk. Let’s enjoy the party.”
“You seem to be the only one not enjoying it,” Trish said pointedly.
“Maybe I’m tired,” she lied. “I’ve been packing nonstop for the last two days.”
“I told you I’d help on Saturday.”
“Yes. We’ll talk then.”
She let Trish order her a second drink and she tried to focus on the group. She tried. But Kyler’s face—that oftentimes smiling but sometimes serious face—kept swimming before her eyes. She gave up trying to push it away. She found herself smiling back at it.
Chapter Forty-nine
“Susan, let me help you with that.” Kyler hurried over, lifting the bag of sunflower seeds out of Susan’s trunk. She flung it over her shoulder and headed to the garage where the bins were kept.
“You always come at exactly the right time.”
“You want me to fill them?”
“No, I filled them this morning. I just came back from Potters and the feed store.” Susan lifted the lid on one of the bins and Kyler put the bag inside. “Dale heard we might get snow again.”
“Yeah. New Year’s Eve is supposed to be icy.”<
br />
“Will you be out and about this year?”
“I volunteered to work, like normal.”
Susan studied her for a moment, head tilted. “You want to sit over at the patio? Visit for a bit?”
Well, it was why she’d come over, wasn’t it? To talk. She nodded. “Sure. We should enjoy the sunshine while we can.”
As they walked over to the small patio, she couldn’t help but glance at the door to Lexie’s apartment. Susan, of course, saw her.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“The other day, briefly. You?”
“This morning. Just for a second. She was on her way to the gym.”
They pulled chairs away from the table and sat down. “Yeah, when I talked to her, she had plans for a dinner party and then Sixth Street on Saturday night.” She shrugged. “Not sure what all that entails.”
“Hordes of young people crowded on the streets, barhopping,” Susan said with a wave of her hand.
Kyler shook her head. “I have a hard time picturing Lexie in that scene.”
“It’s a group thing with her friend Trish. I think it’s something she started doing regularly when we moved up here. I sometimes feel like we abandoned her there.”
“Do you think she’ll come back?” she asked bluntly.
“Oh, honey, I wish I knew. She’s given no indication one way or the other. I know she’s started packing her apartment. She has to be out by the end of January. She told me that Trish has offered for her to stay with her if she needs to.”
Kyler sighed. “That kinda sounds like she’s going to stay. As I told Mark, she’ll get back into her old routines—the gym, Sixth Street, out to eat.” She sighed. “It’s not for everyone, living up here.”
“You used to think it wasn’t for you, either,” Susan reminded her.
She nodded. “Took me a while to settle in, yes. Lexie was only here, what? Five, six weeks?”
