by Gerri Hill
“God, Ky…I needed that.”
She scooted closer to him until they were touching, but she still didn’t say anything.
“When I think of Mia, I think of that day. That’s how I see her. Always.” He turned to look at her, his eyes still damp with tears. “It was like, as soon as I was on the bike, I remembered all the fun we used to have. All the good things—the good times—that I’d pushed to the very back of my mind, so far hidden that I didn’t even remember them anymore. I got on the bike and I felt…I felt free, Ky. Everything came rushing back at once.”
She leaned against his shoulder, feeling the relief that he must surely be feeling.
“I hung on to my grief, that’s all. I let everything else go.” He turned to look at her. “I hated life. I hated everything and everybody. I felt cheated.” He gave her a smile. “Then you walked into my bar.”
She smiled back at him but kept quiet, wanting him to talk, not her.
“She was pregnant. I was going to be a dad. I was going to have a son.” He swallowed again and fresh tears sprang to his eyes. “I blamed myself. She was six months along. I shouldn’t have let her go riding. I should have made her stop.” Then he shook his head. “That’s what I thought I should have done. That was my guilt. But she loved to ride more than I did, I think. There would have been a horrible fight had I even suggested she not ride anymore.” He leaned back against the tree, looking up into the sky again. “We had a nursery all fixed up. I couldn’t even go in there. I couldn’t do much of anything. Lexie came and stayed with me for a couple of weeks. Then Mom and Dad asked me to come up here with them. I didn’t even think twice. I wanted to leave Austin—and my memories—behind.”
He turned to her then. “And that’s what I did.” He motioned to the bikes on the ground. “That was like a time machine. The wind on my face, the blur of the trees—how many miles had Mia and I ridden?” He smiled again. “Good memories that I’d forgotten.” He pressed closer against her shoulder. “Thank you for making me do this.”
“It was your decision, but okay, I’ll take the credit,” she said with a smile. “Next thing you know, you’ll be hiking.”
He wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. “I think I’d like that. It was fun to get out and do something.”
“We should plan a hike. Maybe ask Irene’s granddaughter to go.”
“Jamie?” He shook his head. “I imagine she pretty much hates men now. Or she’s scared of them.”
“Yeah, no doubt. But you’re a damn nice guy, Mark. Might do her good to have a male friend who is gentle and kind. She’d probably like to get out and do something too.”
“When she comes with Irene to the bar, she just sits at the end of the bar and reads. I try not to bother her.”
She stood up and held her hand out to him. “Invite her for a hike. We can take an easy trail. Now come on. Let’s take a spin around the park. We’ve got football on the agenda.”
Chapter Fifty-three
Lexie pushed the food around on her plate, listening to the others as they laughed about their exploits from the previous night. Their group had started out with twelve. By the time they’d hit the last bar of the night, there were only five left. Trish was not one of the five. She’d met some guy at their second bar and had disappeared. And judging by the look on her face this morning, she’d had way too much to drink last night and if she had to guess, she doubted Trish had slept in her own bed.
If this was to be her last Sunday brunch after a night out on Sixth Street, she would be happy to see it come to an end. She wasn’t sure why she’d even come. Well, the prospect of cheesy migas and Trudy’s famous Bloody Mary had sounded good. She glanced at the drink, which she’d only taken a few sips of, then ate another forkful of eggs.
She’d already answered the handful of questions directed her way. Questions and comments. Comments like “I could never leave Austin” or “What in the world are you going to do out there?” Or this, from Janine. “I’d have to be pretty desperate to move way out to West Texas. I hear it’s absolutely desolate there.” She would admit that the drive out was pretty barren. She remembered how excited she was when she finally saw a tree. But up on the mountain was completely different. While barren and rocky in spots, it was still teeming with life. And she couldn’t wait to get back to it.
She had called Kyler yesterday, before dinner. It went to voice mail and she’d left only a brief message, telling her she was on her way to Sixth Street and had simply wanted to hear her voice. Kyler had returned her call sometime during the night, leaving an equally brief message, saying she hoped she’d enjoyed her night out on the town and mentioned plans she and Mark had for a bike ride. A bike ride this morning, in fact. She wondered how that had gone. Actually, she wondered if Mark had really gone through with it. If he had, maybe it would be a turning point for him.
She glanced at her watch. It was a little after eleven. Were they getting ready for their football party now? What would they have today? Frozen pizza? Or maybe since she wasn’t there, they’d grill a steak or something. With a sigh, she turned her attention to the conversations around her, but in the back of her mind, she was wishing she was on Mark’s deck instead of here.
Actually, she wished she was back at her apartment, sorting through her kitchen boxes, deciding what she’d take with her and what she’d get rid of. And she wanted to call her mother. She wanted to tell someone her news, someone who would be excited for her. Unlike her friends here. Their reaction ran the gamut from a disinterested shrug to utter disbelief.
Kyler would be excited too, she knew, but she wanted them both to be alone when she told her. She’d call her later tonight, after football.
“Lexie?”
She looked toward Trish. “Hmm?”
“What do you think?”
She frowned. “About what?”
“Did you not hear any of that conversation?”
She sighed. “I’m sorry. No. What?”
“Joni says I should color my hair. Red. What do you think?”
“Red?” She blinked at her and smiled. “Sure. Why not?”
Chapter Fifty-four
Kyler heard the boards creak as she walked—tiptoed—across the deck. She paused at the door, looking overhead into the sky. The storm had blown in later than expected, but it was there now, in full force. The moon was nearly full, but the clouds obscured it. The wind was shaking the trees and she listened as the limb of a piñon pine brushed against the railing. The temperature had dropped into the twenties and she had no business being out. As she watched, the first flakes of snow drifted about. She stared at them for a long moment, thinking she should just go back home.
Instead, she slipped her key into the lock, quietly turning the doorknob. She went inside, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. It was warmer inside and she saw the glowing embers of Mark’s earlier fire. She moved toward his bedroom door. It was ajar and she pushed it open. She smiled as she listened to his light snoring. Then she went up to the bed, shaking his shoulder. He jumped.
“What the hell?”
“Shhh. It’s me.”
He rubbed his face. “Why are you whispering?”
“Oh. I don’t know,” she said in a normal voice. “Get up.”
“What time is it?”
“Umm…I don’t know. Late. Or early.”
He leaned up on an elbow. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Get up. Let’s go.”
“Go where?”
“Austin.”
He lay back down. “No. We’re not going to Austin.”
“Come on,” she nearly whined. “She left me a voice mail.”
He sat up again. “And? What did she say this time?”
“She said she wanted to talk. In private. That can’t be good. That means she’s not coming back, right?”
He lay back down with a sigh. “Ky, really?”
“We’ve done nothing but leave voice mails. She called me while
I was in the shower tonight. I called her back. Nothing.”
“And what exactly did she say?”
Kyler fumbled with her phone. “Here. I’ll play it for you. Listen.” She swallowed as Lexie’s voice filled the quiet room.
“Hi…it’s me. I wanted to talk to you, but I wanted to do it in private. Thought you’d be back from Mark’s by now. I’ve got a late dinner date so I’m heading out. Maybe we can talk tomorrow morning.” A pause. “I miss you, Kyler.”
“So from that you gather that she’s not coming back? She said she missed you.”
“She also said that we needed to talk. That can’t be good.”
“Have you been drinking?”
Kyler sighed. “Maybe.”
“Have you been to bed?”
“No.”
Mark took her phone, looking at the time. “Jesus, it’s two in the morning, Ky.” He moved the covers back on the bed. “Come on. Get some sleep.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with her.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure you are too. Come on. Get in.”
“What if she doesn’t come back?”
“Then she’d be crazy. And I don’t think my sister is crazy.”
Kyler shuffled around to the other side of the bed. She kicked off her jeans and got under the covers. “If we left now, we could be there by ten.”
She heard him sigh. “Storm. Snow. You’ve been drinking. We’re not going to Austin.”
She rolled toward him. “If I get my heart broken, will you take care of me?”
Another sigh. “You’re being pathetic.”
She smiled. “I know. I’m all grown up now. I can handle a broken heart.”
“Then what are you doing in my bed?”
“I knew you’d talk me out of going.” She waited while he rolled toward her too. “You’re a good friend, Mark. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too.”
She smiled in the darkness. “We probably shouldn’t tell anyone we slept together.”
“You think?”
* * *
Lexie was pouring her first cup of coffee when her phone rang. Seeing as it was barely five o’clock, she knew it wouldn’t be any of her friends here. She smiled when she saw Mark’s name.
“Good morning,” she answered cheerfully.
“Good. You’re up.”
“I am. What’s wrong?”
“You need to come back. Like now. Today. Because she’s going to drive me crazy.”
She laughed lightly. “I guess you’re talking about Kyler and not Mom.”
“What’s with you leaving cryptic voice mails? She’s convinced you’re not coming back.”
She frowned. “Why are you whispering?”
“Because there’s a woman in my bed and it’s too cold to go out on the deck.”
“Oh my god! You slept with someone? Who? Who? Tell me!”
“Sis…Kyler is in my bed.”
She actually stopped breathing as she held the phone tightly. “What? You slept with Kyler? Kyler slept with…with you?” She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling all sorts of emotions slam into her.
“What are you talking about? No, we didn’t sleep together! Well, yes, technically we did. She broke into the house at two this morning, wanting me to take her to Austin.”
She finally dared to breathe again. “So she, like, spent the night there?”
“Yes. Good lord, did you think we had sex? Besides the fact that Kyler is gay, she’s my best friend. She’s like you—a sister. God.”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. “Okay, okay. So what happened?”
“She’s lovesick. Pathetic. She’s actually whining. She wanted me to go to Austin with her. So you need to come back. And soon.” He paused. “You are coming back, right?”
She smiled into the phone. “I am. I’ve been trying to tell her, but we keep missing each other. I called Mom last night and told her.”
“And she didn’t tell me? What’s with that?”
“I asked her not to. I didn’t want Kyler to find out second or thirdhand. I wanted to tell her myself.”
“Then let’s do it. Right now.”
She heard him walking, then heard muffled voices before a familiar sleepy voice sounded in her ear.
“Lexie? Is that you?”
“Hey, sweetie. Whatcha doing?”
Kyler cleared her throat. “I guess you know where I am.”
Lexie laughed. “Had a sleepover, I hear.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“He did.”
“He can’t keep anything to himself,” Kyler muttered.
“The two of you are too cute, you know that? Were you really going to drive to Austin this morning?”
“I was. It was stupid. I know this decision is about you, not me. I was…I was lonely, and I missed you. And your message, well, I figured it meant you weren’t coming back, and I panicked.”
“Why did you panic?”
“Because I want you to come back. Selfish, I know.”
“So I should tell you that I’ve made a decision, I guess.” There was a long pause and she knew she shouldn’t be toying with Kyler this way. “Do you know what it is?”
Another pause. “I figured once you got back there, you’d realize how much you missed it, missed all the things you used to do.”
“Yes. I thought the same thing. The opposite happened, Kyler. I missed you. But I also missed…there. I missed the mountain. I missed the bird garden. I missed the trees and the stars that we looked at at night. I missed all of that. But you, Kyler, I missed you the most. I didn’t miss here.”
“So…you’re going to come home?”
She smiled at Kyler’s choice of words. It was true what they say. Home is where the heart is. “I’m coming home.”
She heard Kyler’s relieved laugh and she smiled too. Yes, she was going back, going back home.
Chapter Fifty-five
“Show me a constellation.”
Kyler shook her head. “You show me one.”
The sunset had been spectacular, as usual, but that’s not why they’d come up to Skyline Drive. They’d missed the sun setting, only getting there in time to watch the red colors streak out along the horizon behind Mount Livermore. No, they’d come to see the crescent moon—four days old—as it paired up with Venus, the evening star on this cold February night. She stared at the moon, seeing the bright star beside it. Lexie’s Venus.
“Venus is in the constellation Aquarius this time of year.”
Kyler raised her eyebrows. “How do you know that?”
“I read it in your book this morning. I don’t know all the stars that make up Aquarius, though, so that shouldn’t count as showing you a constellation.”
She drew Lexie into her arms and kissed her. “I love that you like this stuff.”
“Well, I credit Venus for us falling in love.”
“You do?”
“Uh-huh. That very first time we watched the sunset. Afterward, you showed me Orion—the hunter. And then Ursa Minor—the Little Dipper.”
“Or what else is it called?”
“Little Bear.” Lexie looped her arms around her neck. “And then you pointed out Venus. And I thought it was all so romantic and I wanted to kiss you right then.”
Kyler gave a teasing gasp. “Kiss me? We were only friends. Friends don’t kiss.”
“I know. I kept telling myself that, but I wanted to do it anyway.” Lexie kissed her then—a long, slow, drawn-out kiss that left her breathless. “I’m not cold any longer.”
Kyler smiled and pulled her closer. “After that kiss, I guess not.” She cupped her from behind and held their hips together. “We can be home in two minutes.”
Lexie laughed. “You’ll have to wait. We’re having company for dinner, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. Mark’s coming over.”
“And I invited Jamie, remembe
r?”
“Uh-huh. Are you playing matchmaker?”
“Of course not. But Jamie is finally opening up. You know, at first, she would hardly speak to anyone. Plus, this gives her a break from her son and gives Irene some alone time with him.”
“You like her?”
“I do. She seemed so fragile. Broken. She came up here to heal, I think.”
“Like Mark did.”
“Yes. And he is pretty much back to normal. I knew he would love to ride with us. It’s so nice to see him this free again.”
“Yeah, it is.” Kyler took her hand and led her to the Jeep. “So what’s for dinner?”
“Something simple. Tacos.”
“Sounds good.”
“Roasted cauliflower and chickpea tacos.”
Kyler frowned. “Huh?”
“You’ll love it. They’re very spicy.”
“No beef?”
“Nope.”
“Chicken?” she asked hopefully.
“Nope. There is cheese and guacamole involved though.”
She groaned as they walked back to the Jeep. “I’ve lost like six pounds since you’ve been cooking for me.”
Lexie laughed. “Do not blame that on my cooking!”
They paused at the Jeep, looking up into the dark sky. The stars were right on top of them, twinkling and dancing over their heads. Lexie squeezed her hand tightly.
“I love you.”
Kyler’s gaze moved across the stars, finding the dipper, then the North Star. She smiled, then turned to Lexie.
“I’ve loved living up here on this mountain. It never occurred to me that something was missing. Not until you. You fill up all the spaces, Lexie. You make me so happy. I never thought I could love like this.”
Lexie moved closer and kissed her deeply, passionately, leaving no room for questions. Lexie loved her. “Come on. Let’s go home.”
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