He’d hoped she wouldn’t ask. “Oh. That.” He cleared his throat. “Well, I knew there was one account you wouldn’t monitor.”
Realization dawned on her, and the color drained from her face. “You didn’t.”
He swallowed. “It’s not a big deal.” He’d thought he’d have time to fix this before she found out.
“Not a big deal? Not a big deal?” Her voice rose with each word. “You used the money from the baby account, didn’t you?” she hissed.
He nodded. He’d known she might be a little upset but hadn’t counted on the venom he saw in her eyes. “Don’t get so worked up. It was just sitting there, and I thought that would be the best way to keep it a surprise.”
Tears rolled down her face. “I knew you didn’t want to keep trying to have a baby. But I never thought you’d do something like this.”
Luke paced in front of her. “We can replenish it.” He reached out to brush a tear away, but she stepped back. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Quit saying that. It is a big deal. At least to me.” She wiped her eyes and took another step backward. “You didn’t even consider how this would make me feel, did you?”
“I thought I was doing something that would make you happy.”
She shook her head. “You haven’t made me happy in months. You tried to pretend that our baby never existed.” Hertears started falling again, and this time she let them fall. “You wouldn’t talk about it, wouldn’t grieve with me.” She sobbed in earnest now. “And I didn’t have the energy to fight then. Not even when you emptied out the nursery and took all the baby stuff to the dump.”
“I was trying to help.”
She fished around in her purse for a tissue and wiped her face. “I’m done.”
He sighed. “Do you want me to take you home instead of the office?”
Summer shook her head. “No. I’m done. Here.” She pointed from her to him. “Us. I’m done.”
Luke furrowed his brow. “I know you’re mad, but don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
She leveled a steely gaze at him. “Maybe. But I don’t care right now. You like this boat so much? Then why don’t you plan on staying on it for a while?” She turned and started walking toward the road.
Luke ran after her. “Summer, come on. Get in the truck.”
“No. I’m too tired. Tired of pretending everything is okay. Tired of pretending like we aren’t broken. I need some time alone.”
Something in her voice stopped him in his tracks. “You want me to leave you here?”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “I’ll call Ashley. She’ll come pick me up.”
He watched her walk toward the main road. There was no use in going after her.
If space was what she wanted, space was what she’d get.
Summer climbed into Ashley’s Honda Accord. “Thanks for coming to pick me up.”
Ashley looked at her with concern. “Are you okay?”
Summer shook her head. “No.” She put her head in her hands. “Can you take me home?”
“Of course.” Ashley turned the car toward downtown.
Summer tried to process everything, but her brain felt too foggy. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know I’ve been out of the office most of the day.”
Ashley let out a sigh. “Don’t you think you should focus on something besides work right now?” She slowed down for a red light. “Something has obviously happened, something bad.” She looked at Summer. “Do you want to tell me what?”
Summer let out a shaky breath. She knew it seemed crazy to most people for her to be so focused on work, but that was what she’d clung to these past months. When everything else spun out of control, she could at least make sure her business ran smoothly. “Luke and I got into a fight. A big one.” She filled Ashley in on what had transpired at the marina. “And the awful part is that he probably thinks it’s about the money. It isn’t.” She shook her head. “He can buy all the boats he wants to buy. But that account was special.”
“I knew things between you guys had been strained, but I didn’t realize you were at the end of your rope like that.” Ashley pulled into the driveway at Summer and Luke’s house.
For the first time in a long time, Summer didn’t admire the home she loved so much. Today it seemed more like a mockery than anything else. From the outside it looked like the kind of home a happy family inhabited. But inside it felt as lonely as a tomb. “I know he thinks I’m crazy for reacting like that.” She shook her head. “I realize he was trying to give me a gift and do something nice for me.”
Ashley nodded. “It sounds that way.”
“But he’s been so distant. First with Bobby’s accident and then when I lost the baby.” Ashley was one of the few people besides Gram who had known about Summer’s pregnancy. “After I miscarried, he told me that he didn’t want to keep trying. He said he didn’t want to do the fertility treatments anymore. That maybe it would happen naturally, even though my doctor didn’t think so.” She shook her head. “So by using that money, money I’d set aside specifically for my child, it’s the same as him saying that we will never have a baby of our own.”
“And you’re not ready to give up on that dream.”
Summer shook her head. “We’d only done one round of treatments when I got pregnant. The doctor said there was no reason I couldn’t carry a child to term, even after the miscarriage. But Luke wouldn’t even discuss it.”
Ashley sighed. “I don’t know what to say. I had no idea what you’d been dealing with.”
“Luke has slipped further and further away from me over the past months. It’s to the point where I have no idea what to say to him most of the time. He doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t want to hear me talk about my day. And it seems like he finds reasons not to be home at night.”
“But you love him.”
Summer let out a bitter laugh. “Of course I love him.” She met Ashley’s eyes. “But for the first time, I wonder if love is enough.”
Ashley didn’t respond.
“Thanks for the ride. I’ll walk Milo over to the office later and pick up my car.”
“You’re welcome. And if there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
Summer paused. “Just pray. That’s what I need the most.”
She watched as Ashley backed out of the driveway and for a split second wished she could have her friend’s life. It seemed so uncomplicated. No family around, no husband to argue with. That sounded perfect right about now.
She stumbled into the house and greeted Milo.
“Go outside, sweet boy.” She opened the door and watched him run a loop around the yard, sniffing and marking his territory. In a minute, he was back. “Let’s go to bed early, what do you say?”
Milo followed her up the stairs. With each step, her feet felt heavier and heavier, almost as if she’d accidentally stepped in wet cement. She made it into the large bathroom with its giant tub and expensive tile. She’d always thought of this as her sanctuary, but today it did nothing to calm her.
She sank onto the floor, and the tears began to fall in earnest.
Milo sat next to her and rested his head on her leg.
The gentleness of the big dog only made her cry harder.
“Lord, why are You letting this happen?” she asked. “What am I supposed to learn from this?” She didn’t bother to wipe the tears. “I’m not the one who turned my back on You. Even when I lost my baby, I kept my faith.” It had been Luke who’d lost his faith. Luke who’d refused to set foot in a church building after Bobby’s accident. Luke who wouldn’t pray with her after she lost their baby.
“Please. Please take my pain away,” she whispered, hoping God was listening.
And there, huddled on the cold tile floor, Summer hoped she’d finally hit rock bottom. Because if things got worse, she wasn’t sure how she would survive.
Chapter 15
Ashley walked into her house and promptly collapsed on
the couch.
Work had kept her busy right up until nearly six. She’d taken care of several things that Summer had left behind. It seemed like the least she could do.
Although, the more Summer got distracted, the more Ashley felt entitled to a partnership in the business. Except that with the state Summer was in, it still didn’t seem the right time to ask. But maybe there would never be a time that felt right. Maybe she would have to put aside her fears and go for it.
And as much as she hated to admit it, she took some satisfaction with the knowledge that if Summer turned her request down and she resigned, the business would take a hit. Summer didn’t have time to find someone else who knew the ins and outs of their upcoming events, and despite all that was going on in her personal life, she would never let her business suffer.
Which gave Ashley leverage.
With that thought in mind, Ashley pulled on an old pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt from a long-ago 5K. She scrubbedthe day’s makeup from her face and twisted her long hair into a messy bun.
Tonight she would veg. Her DVR contained the entire last season of The Bachelor, and she had leftover pizza in the fridge. Perfect combo.
Ashley popped a couple of slices of pizza on a plate and was about to put them in the microwave when the doorbell rang.
She groaned. Probably someone wanting to sell her something. Or a church group wanting to invite her to an upcoming revival. Not that either of those things was bad, but there were times she wished she lived in one of those big gated homes where no one could get to her door unless she wanted them there. Like a princess in a tower.
She peeked through the blinds and saw an unfamiliar pickup truck in her driveway. For the hundredth time, she wished she had a dog. It might give her a little security when there was a stranger at the door. Although she’d probably end up with a dog like Milo, who was more likely to lick someone than bark at them.
She pushed a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and gingerly opened the door.
Justin stood on the porch, holding a bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other.
You have got to be kidding me. “Justin.” She forced a smile. “What brings you here?”
A sheepish expression washed over his boyish face. “I came to apologize.”
She shook her head. “That isn’t necessary. I appreciate you coming all the way out here though.” Her North Charlestonhome was convenient to lots of shopping and dining, but getting here from downtown meant fighting traffic.
He hung his head. “I knew you’d probably say that, but I also knew that I’d always kick myself if I at least didn’t try to explain my behavior.”
She regarded him silently for a moment. “Go on,” she said finally.
He gestured toward the old pickup. “That’s my truck. It’s my only vehicle. I’ve had it since I was in college. My daddy and I built it with parts we got from a scrap yard, but it runs just fine.” He gave her a feeble grin. “It’s not fancy, but I love it.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “And what I have on right now is the kind of thing I wear pretty much every day.” He glanced down at his faded Gamecocks T-shirt and khaki shorts. “Unless I’m meeting a client, and even then I don’t dress up much. I can’t remember the last time I wore a tie, and I hated that suit I wore the other night.” He met her gaze. “It was my brother’s.”
She smiled at his obvious sincerity. “Then what was that all about? The car, the suit…the attitude?”
He handed her the bouquet of flowers. “Can I come in and explain?” He held up a white bag. “I brought something to eat. Burgers from my favorite place.”
She waved him inside. Even if she didn’t plan to give him another chance, she could still hear him out. Besides, those burgers smelled yummy.
“This is a nice place. I didn’t tell you that when I came to pick you up, but I thought it.” He followed her into thekitchen and watched as she pulled two plates down from the cabinet.
“Thank you. It took a lot of years, but I was finally able to buy my own place.” She’d been proud of the purchase. Living on a single income wasn’t always easy. But she’d scrimped and saved after the divorce and finally had enough for a down payment. It might not be South of Broad like Summer and Luke’s home, but it was perfect as far as she was concerned. Three bedrooms, two baths, and enough space in the backyard for a flower garden.
“I’m not quite there yet,” he said. “I live in an apartment near downtown. It works for now, but I’m kind of at the point where I’m ready to have more room.”
She held up bottled water and a soft drink from the fridge and looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“Water, please.”
Ashley handed him a bottle and motioned for him to follow her back into the living room. “We can eat in there if that’s okay.” She paused. “If you’re sure you don’t mind something casual.”
He chuckled. “That’s more than okay with me. I’m just thankful you’re giving me the chance to explain.”
They settled on the couch, and he pulled out a burger from the bag and handed it to her. “I wasn’t sure what you’d want—or even if you’d let me past the door—so both of them are the same. Mayo, lettuce, and tomato.” He unwrapped his burger. “That’s how I always get them.”
“Sounds delicious.” That was exactly how she liked her burgers, too, but she didn’t see any reason to share that information.
Justin handed her a basket of fries. “Hope you like fries.”
Ashley smiled broadly. “I’m a huge fan.”
He cleared his throat. “Mind if I say a blessing before we eat?”
Wonders never cease. “Please.”
He thanked God for their many blessings and asked Him to watch over them.
Ashley met Justin’s gaze after he said Amen. “Thanks for praying.”
“I know I probably gave you the wrong impression the other night.” He shook his head. “None of the stuff that came out of my mouth was stuff I’d ever say or think.” He gave her a sideways grin. “Except the part where I said you looked nice.”
“Well played.” She returned his smile.
He chuckled. “I’m not playing. This isn’t a game, I promise. I’m honestly sorry. It’s just…” He trailed off and put his head in his hands.
Ashley might not have always been the best judge of character, but she knew in her gut that Justin was remorseful for the way he’d acted. “It’s okay.” She sighed. “But how about you tell me why you did it?” Nothing about his actions the other night added up.
He raised his head and met her gaze. “I’m the perpetual friend. The nice guy.” He shrugged. “Since I was in high school, I’ve been the one women call when they need help or want a shoulder to cry on.”
“That all sounds nice to me.”
“Well, it’s been a world of hurt for me. Because inevitably I’ll get close to the girl, and then once her heart is allhealed from whatever wound she carries, she moves on to another jerk.”
Ashley gave him a tiny smile. “I’ve seen that kind of thing happen before. I’ve even been one of those girls actually.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded. “And you know what? Those are always the guys I look back on and wish I’d have given a real shot.” She’d learned a long time ago that playing “what if” only led to trouble. But there had certainly been some nice guys she’d let slip away, and sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder how her life might be different if she’d made better choices.
“I guess I was tired of being that guy. My brother advised me to be someone else this time. So I did.” He shook his head. “I could see the repulsion on your face at the restaurant when I was giving that poor girl a hard time. I almost came clean then but wasn’t sure how you’d react.”
“I admit, I was shocked. And Summer was so surprised when I told her what had happened. She’d told me that you were this wonderful, sweet, respectful guy.”
“And then I acte
d the exact opposite.”
She dipped a fry into ketchup. “Pretty much.”
“I apologize. And I’d like it if you’d consider giving me another chance.”
Ashley sat back on the couch and regarded him for a long moment. She felt certain he was telling the truth. But still, doubt lingered. “I appreciate you coming to explain things to me. Your little act the other night didn’t do a lot to restore my faith in men.” She met his curious gaze. “Because you’re not the only one who has been hurt in the past.”
Justin hadn’t been sure dropping in unannounced was a good idea, but he felt certain it had been the only way to explain himself. And now, sitting on Ashley’s couch, he knew he’d made the right choice. “I think a certain amount of past hurt is to be expected. Otherwise, you haven’t really lived.” He glanced over at her. “Right?”
She nibbled on her burger, lost in thought. “I guess.” She gave him a slow smile.
“So what’s your story then? What happened to diminish your faith in men?”
Ashley cocked her head and gave him a sideways look.
He had the feeling she was still sizing him up, still deciding if he could be trusted. That was fine. He’d be happy to prove that he was one of the good guys, no matter how he’d acted on their date.
“I’m divorced. It’s been a little over three years since it was final.” She sighed. “No kids. Sometimes I see that as a blessing, because I know how difficult it is to watch your parents get divorced. And sometimes I see it as a curse, because I’m afraid that was my chance at being a mom and I didn’t take it.”
Justin couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was right now. He was pretty sure this was more real than any date they could have gone on. There was something intimate about a conversation over burgers in her living room that was better than any loud, fancy restaurant could ever be. “I can’t imagine dealing with a failed marriage. That must’ve been tough.”
She nodded. “And my family sided with my ex, at least for the most part. That’s what brought me here. I needed to start over and reinvent myself.”
A Wedding to Remember in Charleston, South Carolina Page 9
