My vision begins to blur and I can’t take it anymore as I run upstairs to my room.
I slam the door shut then lock it before sinking to the ground.
“How could they lie to me?” I ask out loud, bringing my knees to my chest as the tears begin to fall. “Why would they do this?”
Derek said to trust him.
Liv is my best friend.
Zach is my brother.
They shouldn’t have kept it from me.
Everything would’ve been fine if they had just told me.
Why didn’t they tell me?
I believed every word Derek said.
Every. Word.
He knew the whole time.
I bang my head against the door. “Idiot…”
And to think that I felt guilty for lying to everyone.
“Britt?” I suddenly hear Derek ask. “Britt, I—”
“Go. Away.”
The traitor.
“Open the door, Britt.”
I shut my eyes, the tears still coming down. “Leave me alone.”
“Britt,” he basically begs, “please.”
Tired of hearing him, I stand up to unlock the door and then open it with a huff.
He looks at me in exasperation. “Brittany…I’m sorry.”
But there’s no way I can do this with him anymore, not while knowing that he’s been lying to me and keeping this whole “Zach-and-Liv” thing a secret.
I just can’t.
“We’re done, Derek,” I manage to tell him, ignoring the pleading look in his eyes. “It’s over.”
——————
I cried.
That might seem kind of pathetic, but I cried the rest of the day…locked in my bedroom, away from everyone.
I refused to come out and I refused to let anyone in—they all gave up trying after a few hours.
I’ve ignored text messages and voicemails…
Then I argued with myself; what if I was just being overdramatic?
All this time though, there’s been nothing but secrecy and lies.
And it hurts so much.
But here I am.
Against my own will, at school—with puffy eyes and a crappy makeup job.
I slowly go through the lunch line, letting someone push in front me.
I don’t care.
I’m not really even hungry anyway.
Realizing this, I leave the noisy cafeteria with the strong desire just to go home.
And that’s what I’m going to do.
“Brittany! Britt, wait!”
Derek.
So much for leaving me alone…
I pick up the pace and try to ignore him.
“Would you just wait?”
“I don’t want to talk, Derek,” I reply, not looking back. “Leave me alone.”
“Britt, come on,” he says, standing in front of me. “I’m—”
“I don’t care.” I walk around him only to be turned so I’m facing him. “You are so—”
“Would you just listen?”
“Why?” I yank my arm away. “Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”
“Because…” He steps closer to me. “I care about you.”
I spit the word out like it’s poison, “Liar.”
His shoulders drop as his facial expression softens. “Britt…”
“You knew about Liv and Zach and you kept it from me!”
“I—”
“You’ve been lying to me since the beginning, Derek,” I cut him off. “You lied about liking Liv, about—”
“What?” His eyebrows crease. “Liking Liv?”
“Don’t play stupid.” I cross my arms. “It didn’t take me long to figure out that—”
“You think that I liked Liv?”
I roll my eyes. “I just said that.”
He shakes his head. “I never liked Liv.”
“Well now I know the truth,” I reply in a “duh” voice. “You were acting like you liked her while you—”
“I never acted lik—”
“Stop!” I let my arms drop to my sides. “Just stop! I’m tired of lying!”
“Britt, I’m not—”
“Right,” I agree with heavy sarcasm, “of course you’re not.”
I wish I had never agreed to be his fake gir—
“I never acted like I liked Liv,” he states, his jaw twitching some, “I promise I didn’t.”
“I’m not an idiot, Derek,” I inform him in a dry voice, “and—”
I stop and sigh. “You know what? Forget this…”
So I turn around once again and resume my walking.
I’ll be so glad when—
“You really think that Liv is the girl I was always talking about?”
I think she’s the girl you lied about…
“There really is a girl,” he continues, “but it’s not Liv.”
Why should I even care if there really is a girl and if she was Liv or not?
Derek and his plans…his lies, they no longer concern me. I’m—
“It’s you.”
I freeze at his words.
Did he—no, he couldn’t have.
Of course not.
I slowly turn. “What did you say?”
“It’s you,” he repeats his words, coming toward me, “you’re the one I—”
“No.” I find myself laughing a little. “No. There’s no—”
“It was always you,” he insists. “You were the girl.”
“You’re lying!” I exclaim, refusing to believe him.
Derek liking me?
It’s ridiculous.
“It’s the truth, Britt.” He stops in front of me. “From day one.”
“What?” I stare at him dumbfounded. “No!”
He can’t like me. All this time?
But the plans, the jokes…
“I know it’s—”
“No,” I cut him off, “if you had really liked me then you wouldn’t have tried to help me get Blake back!”
It doesn’t make sense.
“I told you that the girl I liked went to our school and that you knew her,” he starts in a matter-of-fact way, “you go to our school…obviously, and who knows you better than yourself?”
I swallow, shaking my head some. “No, Der—”
“I told you that it was hard to tell if she was interested,” he cuts in, “and it was…you didn’t seem interested at first.”
It feels like the air has been knocked out of me.
“I told you that her ex-boyfriend was stopping her from showing her true feelings,” he continues, “you were still stuck on Blake and there was no way to—”
“You mean to tell me that your whole plan was an act?” I ask in disbelief. “That you were never really trying to help me?”
“I was trying to help you get over him,” he explains, his eyes searching mine, “like a Blake-detox.”
“What?” My voice cracks as I gape at him. “How could—”
“I had to, Britt.” He looks at me in desperation. “It made me sick to see how crushed you were.”
“It made you sick?” I echo with a slight scoff. “You make me sick!”
“Brittany,” he says, clearly hurt by that, “you don’t—”
“You acted like you cared, like you wanted to help me.” I feel my eyes beginning to water. “But you were only helping yourself.”
“I didn’t—”
“I trusted you, Derek!”
And the tears start to fall down my cheeks.
“I was so stupid and did every flippin’ thing you asked me to!”
“Britt,” he says, reaching for me but I take several steps back. “You’re a selfish, careless liar.”
“Brittany, stop,” he tells me in a stern voice, “you’ll—”
“Shut up!” I shake my head, not wanting to hear it. “You’ve ruined everything! I should’ve never trusted you…I hate you, Derek!”
Chapter 41: I Love Yo
u
——————————————————
When I open my eyes, I realize that I’m in my room.
And seeing all of the crumpled tissues scattered around as I sit up causes me to remember what happened yesterday.
Derek.
Me.
I was so upset.
It got to the point that Mom picked me up from school.
I had been hoping that maybe it was all just a bad dream.
Obviously it wasn’t.
After I started to cry…everything happened in a blur.
I think Delanie was there—someone called Mom, and I had to wait in the front office.
I didn’t care. I couldn’t think.
He never wanted Blake and me to get back together.
That’s all I could focus on.
He never liked Liv…or Violet, he never said one honest thing to me.
What was his plan?
Get me to forget about Blake and fall madly in love with him?
How? I can’t—
He said that he cared about me.
That he really was trying to help me.
More lies.
And now I have a pounding headache.
I start to run a hand through my hair, but apparently it’s too knotty for that and I look down to see that I’m still wearing my clothes from yesterday.
Life sucks.
All I wanted was my boyfriend back.
I didn’t want a new boyfriend. Or a fake one.
The secrets, lies, tears…
I didn’t want any of that.
I wanted Blake. That’s it.
Mom was right when she said that dating your boyfriend’s best friend never ends well.
I should’ve listened to her.
There’s suddenly a knock at the door followed by a, “Britt?”
Zach.
Do I feel like talking to anyone?
Only one way to find out I guess.
“Come in.”
I wince at my scratchy voice and the door slowly opens, revealing Zach with his messy dark hair. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I croak out, noting the bags under his usually bright hazel eyes.
“Britt,” he says at the same time as I say, “Zach.”
I offer him a sad smile which he returns with one of his own. “Can I sit down?”
I nod and after closing the door behind him, he sits at the foot of my bed. “I know that you’ve had a lot happen in a short time period.”
I actually snort at that. “I’ll say…”
“Yeah.” He chuckles some before looking at me. “And I know you probably hate everyone, including me.”
“I don’t hate you, Zach.” I sigh, rubbing the side of my head. “And contrary to popular belief…I’m not mad that you and Liv are dating.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You’re not?”
I shrug a shoulder. “I just wish you guys had told me.”
“I wanted to and I’m sorry we didn’t,” he quickly says, “but Liv was worried and—well, you know how Liv can be.”
I play with a loose thread from my sheet. “I guess so.”
Unless keeping secrets and lying is Liv now…
“Hey.” He gives my leg a gentle shake. “Liv loves you and cares about you…she never wanted to hurt you.”
“Too late for that,” I reply, licking my lips, “and I thought Blake breaking up with me hurt.”
“Wait.” Zach’s eyebrows crease. “Blake broke up with you?”
I nod. “Yep.”
And he’s happy with Savannah.
“I thought it was mutual breakup.”
“Hardly.” I let out a sad laugh. “He was interested in someon—”
“I’ll kill him!” Zach jumps to his feet. “I’ll—”
“Sit down, Zach.” I find myself rolling my eyes. “You’re not going to kill him.”
“So…” he trails off, sitting back down, “do you still like him?”
“Yeah, and it’s stupid.” I sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “I want to hate him.”
I bite my lip. “Just like I hate Derek.”
“I don’t know everything that happened between you two, but Derek’s a good—”
“He lied to me,” I cut in, turning my attention back to him, “there’s nothing good about Derek.”
“People make mistakes, Britt…nobody’s perfect.”
“I still hate him.”
And yeah, I know hate is a strong word.
But in this situation…the word “hate” is necessary.
“If you want to hate him, that’s your business,” Zach says, standing up, “but I don’t think Derek was trying to hurt you.”
Well he did.
Plus he had the nerve to tell me that he cares about me, what a bunch of—
“Either way.” Zach kisses the top of my head. “I’m on your team, squirt.”
I stand up and wrap my arms around him. “I love you, Zach.”
He hugs me back with a sigh. “Love you too, Britt-Brat.”
And we stand there for what feels like forever until I finally break away, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thanks for the talk.”
“No prob.” He shrugs. “You up for visitors?”
I can’t help but smile. “How long have they been here?”
“Six? Six thirty?”
I shake my head. “Send them in.”
He leaves the room, and soon Liv and Del are standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” I greet them softly.
Liv gives me a small smile. “Hey.”
“Now that we got ‘hey’ established,” Delanie says, coming into the room, “can we get on with our lives?”
“Brittany.” Liv immediately walks over to me. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you about me and Zach. I feel like such a—”
“If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t tell me either,” Delanie cuts in. “I found out by going through her text messages.”
My mouth drops. “You went through her text messages?”
I shouldn’t really be shocked though.
Del does whatever Del wants.
She shrugs. “Liv’s already forgiven me.”
Liv looks at me with a hopeful expression on her face. “Can you forgive me, Britt?”
Am I happy about what happened? No. But I can forgive her.
“Yeah, Liv…” I nod before hugging her. “I forgive you.”
“No, I’m okay,” Delanie comments in obvious sarcasm, “I don’t want to be a part of—”
I pull her into the hug, cutting her short. “I love you guys.”
“Yeah, yeah—” Delanie makes a face as she yanks away, quickly ending our friend hug. “You both are worse than the movies.”
“So…” I trail off, turning to Liv, “you and my brother, huh?”
“We just—” Her cheeks flush. “And well, he…it just kind of happened.”
“Liv,” I say with a sigh, “I’m happy for you guys.”
Again, not happy about the way it happened but—
“It doesn’t like gross you out?” Delanie looks at me in disbelief. “Knowing that your best friend and brother are—”
“I’m trying not to focus on that.” I point a finger at her. “I’ll get used to it.”
“Are you okay though, Britt?” Liv suddenly asks. “About yesterday?”
“Not really,” I reply in all honesty, “it’s just—”
I stop, realizing that they still don’t know about Derek and me fake dating…I should tell them, but I don’t think I can handle that right now.
“Don’t worry about Connors,” Delanie states in an airy tone before I can come up with something to say. “I never liked the two of you together anyway…you’re better off without him.”
I force a smile. “Thanks you, Del.”
“Well,” she drawls, walking toward the door, “I have to go.”
“Where?” Liv and I ask in unison.
Delan
ie grins at that. “I have a hot date. See you guys later.”
As she walks out of the room, Zach walks in. “Are we good?”
I nod and he grins. “Great, mind if I borrow my girl?”
It’s not weird. It’s not weird.
It’s weird.
“Sure thing,” I say as he’s already leading her out into the hallway. “That’s fi—”
“Oh, Britt!” he suddenly exclaims, coming back into the room. “This is for you.”
I take the white envelope from him with creased eyebrows. “What is it?”
There’s no reply though, because he’s gone and I shrug before flopping onto my bed.
“Let’s see here,” I mutter, ripping the envelope open.
I pull out a folded piece of paper then quickly unfold it.
Dear Brittany,
I’m sorry…so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Derek.
That’s the last thing I wanted. I know that you think I’m a jerk and that you hate me, and I understand. But, Britt—I love you.
What?
Love me? How can he possibly love me?
Don’t keep reading it, Britt.
But I do.
I know that probably seems hard to believe…it’s the truth though. But I put myself before you, which was wrong and stupid.
I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to see that you didn’t need Blake.
The only problem is that I didn’t realize how much you actually love Blake. I was so stupid. I was a crappy best friend to Blake and a worse friend/fake-boyfriend to you.
I saw an opportunity and took it, even though I was wrong to.
I lick my lips, wondering why I’m even doing this to myself.
Why do I care about what he has to say?
I think you’re incredible, Britt. Funny, smart, caring, cute, and yes…hot, don’t blush all right?
I don’t blush though.
I just feel like crying.
For whatever reason, I feel like crying.
Spending time with you was priceless and when you agreed to fake-date me—it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
And there are the tears…
Are you reading this, Britt? I hope you are. I’m sorry for everything, Brittany. I can’t even describe how sorry I am.
I said that I put myself before you. This time I’m putting you first.
My Boyfriend's Best Friend Page 26
