The revelation hit her like a canon blast. The Dominion Core. The drugs that took away their anxieties and awareness of death. Because it’s never mattered before...
I’m afraid.
A wave of nausea tightened her abdomen. I can’t do this.
(Jahx—)
Watch the delta squad! Jaeia yelled across their bond. More Alliance orbs faded into oblivion.
Jaeia can’t command alone, but what good am I? Jetta bit her lip. My mind is blank—I have no voice.
Gripping the ends of her armrest, Jetta called out silently to her brother. Why, Jahx? Why didn’t you fight?
Jetta wanted to be angry, to find power in her hatred for the Motti, for all those who had wronged them, but after Tralora, she knew she shouldn’t. Her siblings had been right to warn her about relying on those types of feelings. But without them, how can I win? Not even a thousand years’ worth of military knowledge is enough.
She licked her lips and dug her toes into her boots. As she looked over to her twin shouting commands, she realized her truth. The Motti are wrong about me. I don’t want revenge—I just want my brother back. I want my family to be safe and free. I don’t want to hurt anybody ever again.
An inner voice answered: (Failing to stop Jahx will hurt others. Jahx wouldn’t stand for that.)
After losing several more ships, Jetta slumped back in her chair, taking her earpiece out and microphone off.
(Find me. Kill him.)
She watched in horror as the battlefield changed. The white orbs that dotted the screen formed a malevolent flame that scorched the optic field, and she reflexively shielded her face.
Jahx, she cried internally, are you there?
KILL HIM, echoed in her head over and over again. Something pulled at the back of her mind, dragging her consciousness away from reality. She resisted, fighting to stay grounded.
Please, Jahx, help me, she begged silently, clutching her stomach.
“All units, retreat to mark 2.49,” Jaeia called out to the Fleet.
Another failed formation, another retreat. Jahx, please—
“Jetta!” Jaeia said, covering the microphone with her trembling hand, “I need you!”
Swallowing the dry lump in her throat, Jetta tried to find her strength. She thought back to other impossible feats: learning a cross-routine for secondary engine when she was only three years old. Fending off child labor gangs and outsmarting laborminders for a cache of bakken. Surviving the brunt of Yahmen’s wrath for years. So why am I surrendering now?
Her breath came sharply now. Jahx is impossible to face on this battlefront.
(But what if I confront him in a different realm?)
“Oh Gods,” Jetta whispered. Is that why I’m having nightmares? He knows we can’t defeat what he’s become...
Slamming her fist against her armrest, Jetta refused the implications of her revelation. No. He’s trying to bring his consciousness closer to mine so I can access more than his mind. I can stop all this—I can save him!
It would be dangerous. A dark presence dominated that reality, and if running from it was dangerous, fighting it would be fatal. How could she expect to keep herself whole and save Jahx in that nightmare?
Jetta bit her lip. She hated herself for even hesitating. I won’t fail him again.
We can’t win this, Jaeia, Jetta said as another squadron went down. Admiral Unipoesa, the Minister and the chancellor all looked up at them with panicked expressions. Not like this.
What do you mean? Jaeia asked after commanding the beta-squadron to retreat once again.
She’s at the end of her rope, Jetta thought to herself, looking at her sister. Sweat ran down Jaeia’s face, and the veins on her forehead bulged with stress. Besides, I can’t risk taking her to that awful place.
“I figured out my nightmares,” Jetta said. Privately, she continued: Jahx is trying to establish a link between our minds. He wants me to travel to him, to help him—I know it. The time I traveled back voluntarily, I had more control. That’s the key!
As Jetta closed her eyes, Jaeia cried out. “What are you doing?”
The connection—now that I understand it, I can see it. I’m going through.
No you’re not! Jaeia said. I saw that place, and I’m not letting you go alone.
“Jaeia, it’s too dangerous—”
Jaeia threw her headset across the room and gripped Jetta by the shoulders, her fingers digging in painfully. “I can’t lose you both.”
Jetta suddenly recognized the look in her sister’s eyes, and a laugh escaped her. “Ow—geez! And here I thought I was the only one.”
“When it comes to our family, that part is in both of us,” Jaeia said, blushing and backing off.
Well, just keep an eye out for me, okay? Jetta typed in a final set of commands and barked into the mic: “Beta-squadron, hold position!” The remainder of the Fleet surrounded the Gateway Perimeter of the Nine Homeworlds—the last line of defense.
“What are you doing?” the Minister shouted, pulling back the partition. “Get back on those headsets!”
Jetta lifted her arm and warned him to stay back. “Trust me, please,” she said.
Before she closed her eyes, Jaeia grabbed her by the hand and kissed her cheek. Don’t let go. Don’t forget me.
“Never.”
Holding tight, Jetta allowed herself to fall into the nightmare that existed on the brink of her mind.
JAEIA WATCHED AS HER sister’s eyes rolled back in her head, her body stiffening. Her own mind, struggling to stay connected with Jetta’s, bent back impossibly, as if she was being swept down an infinitely long drain.
With her body and mind threatening to pull apart, Jaeia felt herself slipping into the darkness. I can’t keep holding on—
“I’m here,” someone said. Slender fingers wrapped around her wrist. Though her mind bridged across two different worlds, Jaeia saw the Healer’s blue markings in her periphery.
“Please,” Jaeia whispered, “help us.”
DARKNESS COLLAPSED all around her as frenzied cries swarmed her mind.
(Jahx, where are you?) Jetta managed to shout, trying to keep from drowning.
The wailing faded away, and somehow she found footing, even though she couldn’t differentiate between ground and sky in the endless shadow.
(Jahx?!) she tried again.
Jetta strained to form a complete body, but there wasn’t time. A roar erupted from the murk, and the darkness itself shifted, recombined. Its vibration shook her, growing in intensity by the second until the whole world quaked. She curled in on herself. It’s so much stronger—
(Too powerful—I can’t—)
The tremors abruptly stopped. Jetta held her breath in the eerie stillness as the seconds ticked away. Finally, she dared to look up. Thousands of lidless, fiery eyes gazed down on her from every direction. Something like the stink of old meat filled her nostrils, and she gagged.
Voices, shrill and frayed, spoke in many different languages: (Where did you come from?)
Panic seized her voice. Something slimy and cold had latched onto the ethereal substance of her body, slithering up her legs toward her stomach. When she tried to pull away, it stabbed her just below the sternum, and pain exploded in her chest. The terrible pain thrashed its way up to her neck until something warm grabbed her hand and jerked her from its clutches.
(Jahx!) she shouted. Two blue eyes flashed in and out of the shadows as she was pulled along. (I came to save you!)
His lips did not move, nor did he look back at her, but she could hear his words inside her skull.
(Kill him)
The demon charged after them, closing the distance with every booming step.
(Jahx, please!) she cried, the monster’s gnashing teeth only centimeters from her head. (Tell me what I need to do!)
He pushed her, sending her crashing down onto an invisible surface. Dazed and floating in a sea of hurt, she gritted her teeth and willed the rest of body to
form. Terror-stricken but determined to fight, she rolled over and faced the monster.
(Not him, take me!), she tried to say, but her voice would not rise above the thunder of the demon’s cry. She watched in horror as Jahx bowed his head and allowed the demon to retract him with spidery fingers into its black maw.
She heard him one last time, his voice panicked: (KILL HIM)
(Give him back!), she screamed, lurching for the demon but falling short as it began to change. Thousands of red eyes bled into one another as the blackness shifted, pulsating dark matter transforming into something new. Jetta watched in horror as arms and legs emerged from the depths of pitch. Finally, when all of the eyes had become just two, a boy with black hair stepped forth from the shadows.
Jetta could not turn away from the hollow gaze of the thing that mimicked her brother. His eyes, which should have been a vibrant blue, turned dead white and glassy.
Tears filled Jetta’s eyes, but she did not move to brush them away. (Why did he allow that thing to take him? Doesn’t he see that I’m here to save him?)
Jaeia’s cry exploded in the back of her mind. Jetta saw flashes of Jaeia’s thoughts and perceptions of the outside world. Explosions, screaming, panic. The Motti had broken through their final defenses and penetrated the Nine Homeworlds, spreading their plague and their madness. (If I don’t do something now, the last worlds of the Starways will be destroyed.)
But she was powerless against the demon before it had consumed her brother—how could she possibly fight it now? If she attacked the demon, she would hurt Jahx.
He flashed his teeth and lunged at her with incredible speed. His size was deceptive, his weight nearly crushing her ribs as he tackled her. She rolled with the momentum and narrowly flung herself away.
She reared up just in time to avoid his next attack, but his fingernails scored her arm, carving lines of searing pain. Her entire body shook from the blow, and she tried not to scream as she watched her flesh shear away, blood spraying wildly into the shadows.
It took everything she had just to dodge his attacks as he came at her from all sides.
(No place to run—I can’t get away,) she panicked. He landed another hit, tearing through her skin as if it were wet paper.
(Jahx, please!), she pleaded as he pinned her again. She screamed as his fingers dug into her flesh. His ferocity seeped through her wounds, ripping through her with terrifying desires.
(I will show you what you are capable of,) he whispered in a thousand different voices. Rage, pure and unadulterated by any sense of compassion, battered her senses, his need for vengeance poisoning her mind. His smile, once the sunshine that filled her soul, transformed into a pitiless gash in his cold, ghostly face.
(This isn’t you!) she cried. She tried to counter, slamming her forehead against his jaw, but her face exploded with pain.
With her skin hanging off her bones in bloody shreds and heartbeat waning, Jetta felt her life teetering on the edge. She couldn’t hope to pit herself against the ghastly creature that had once been her brother. Her faith, in herself and in her purpose, once adamant and steadfast, now paled as the thing that was Jahx polluted her with its malice.
(I could make all of this go away,) she thought, a terrible joy filling her at the idea. (I can destroy everything that ever hurt me, everything that ever could hurt me, and nothing will ever—)
(No, that’s not who you are!) Jaeia cried, her voice faint and remote in the back of her mind.
Dizziness swooped over her as Jetta struggled against the alien feelings, repeating aloud what her sister had said. (No, this isn’t what I am. Jahx would never do this,) she said through clenched teeth, pushing the implanted thoughts from her mind. (Jahx would never hurt me or want me to hurt someone else.)
(That thing is Jahx, but it isn’t him!) Jaeia shouted hysterically.
(It isn’t him...) Jetta said, making the connection. She remembered Jahx’s only words:
(Find me, kill him)
(No...) Jetta whispered.
No time left. As her breath left her lungs and her sister’s grip faded away, the memory of the perplexing conversation she’d had with Jahx in the hallway of their apartment on Fiorah strummed the last threads of her consciousness.
“I know that Yahmen will kill me,” Jahx had said. She remembered him asking her to make an awful promise: “...never put my life before yours and Jaeia’s...”
To her surprise, the thing let go of her, slinking back a few meters, and she wriggled backward as fast as she could.
(Why did it do that?) she wondered, gasping for air.
(Remember Drakken!) Jaeia shouted out across their connection. (Remember his brother, Xercius!)
Jetta inhaled sharply as the realization pierced beneath her breastbone, all of her pride and hope crumbling away. She finally understood why he had been so fearful, and the true meaning behind his words. Jahx had known, even back then.
(Please... please don’t make me do this,) Jetta begged.
Hot tears streaked her face, and she couldn’t breathe through her sobs. The thing that stole Jahx moved toward her again, its cold, spectral light wrapping around her as he positioned himself for a final attack. He would swallow her whole—and Jaeia too—if she did not act.
(I am so, so sorry, Jahx. I will never forgive myself for failing you,) she whispered.
The terrible demon that ruled this domain was too powerful to fight, strengthened by the minds of untold telepaths, so she fought the only thing she could. She didn’t even know if her talents could work here, or what kind of effect they would have if they did, only that she had no other choice.
Jetta closed her eyes and reached out to him, her fingers igniting with pain as they touched his mottled skin. At first all she could think of was the terrible ache worming its way up toward her shoulder, but she held her breath and forced her mind into the monster’s.
(I will devour your soul,) the thing whispered to her. She screamed, her back arching impossibly as its icy grip seized her mind. (I will make you see.)
Somewhere in the dissonant chorus she heard his voice as the demon slashed away at her from the inside out. She reached out frantically with her last ounce of strength into the intestinal pit of the creature, hoping that the warm hand she found was her brother’s.
Only seconds remained. With her twin as her anchor, Jetta dug deep into their collective memories to invoke her brother’s worst fear. Blossoming forth from the darkest corners of her mind came uncontrolled aggression, rage, and jealousy. Terror clenched her bowels as she tried to recall the precise dimensions of his monstrously large stature, his booming voice, the viciousness behind his blows—
All their worst memories fueling the vision, Yahmen’s hulking form began to take shape between her and Jahx, and fear flickered in the eyes of the monster.
(Please don’t hurt me.)
She knew the monster mimicked his voice, but it tore straight through her. She buckled and heaved, guilt carving through her resolve.
(I can’t do this—)
She pulled back.
TIME SLOWED TO A HALT. Jaeia no longer knew what to do. The illusion of Yahmen had shaken her as badly as it had Jetta—and what had been Jahx. Her mind filled with images that twisted her heart: The gratitude in Jahx’s eyes when she gave him her third of the bakken, Jetta’s giggle as they play-wrestled in a conduit for the first chance to use a laser tool they had lifted off another repairman.
I just want a chance, Jaeia thought. That’s all I want. I want Aunt Lohien to be free again, I want Uncle Galm to smile. I want Jahx to be healthy and Jetta to be happy...
Jetta withdrew. Only seconds remained. Dread wrapped around her heart as she realized that she had to break her promise to Jetta.
She remembered Jahx’s words. “Be her anchor.”
“Use your talent,” the Healer whispered. “It’s the only way.”
I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to hurt him.
“I am here. I wi
ll not leave you.”
Jaeia stood on the precipice, starring down into the abyss.
Jetta will never forgive me.
JETTA COULDN’T DO IT. It wasn’t Jahx she wanted to fight.
Suddenly, something familiar pushed her forward, soothing her pounding heart, forcing her mind through the motions of crafting an illusion that would end it all.
(Don’t do this, Jaeia—he needs our help!) she shrieked, groping for another way out. (Maybe I can use my talents against the others—)
(No, Jetta. Jahx was holding himself together for this moment. You’re no match for all those other minds. You would lose yourself in their nightmares.)
(And I won’t in Jahx’s?) Jetta silently cried back, black-fire hatred filling her heart as she tried to push her sister out of her head.
(No, Jetta. Do what must be done.)
Jetta screamed, trying to fight the mind-bending power of Jaeia’s second voice. (How can you forsake Jahx? How can you break your promise?)
Despite her resistance, Jetta’s mind built the illusion without her consent.
The world around her changed. Swirling murk solidified into gray and red walls, and the smell of ash was replaced with the stink of stale alcohol and cigarettes. Instead of a cacophony of voices, Jetta could hear a couple arguing just beyond the next room. The afternoon light pouring through the holes in the boarded-up windows confirmed her surroundings.
Home.
As she moved stiffly through the apartment, Jetta spotted evidence of a fight. Their cots, bent and broken, lay in pieces in the corner. The rock dice were gone, and someone had kicked over their soda cans full of water.
“No...” Jetta whispered. Please, no...
She rounded the corner, her legs shaking. Bits of couch cushion and broken glass littered the living room floor. Blood painted the wall, and the brown carpet squished beneath her feet.
“You...”
A chill shot up her spine, and she tried to scream, but fear choked her voice.
Yahmen emerged from the shadows, clutching a cigarette and bottle in one hand. His dead eyes, set inside two dark craters, belonged to a cadaver, and his mouth, hanging askew, did not move when he talked.
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