by James Riley
“Mermaid tear,” the prince mouthed, and May nodded.
“Jack!” May shouted again. “Oh, I am so upset that you’re overboard. I just hope that you can survive!” She winked at Phillip, who was looking at her oddly. She shrugged in response. Whatever was going on, it might not hurt to have someone who could do some rescuing if the situation called for it.
“Ah, one less of ye to worry about,” Bluebeard said without a trace of a smile. “Tie up the other two, lads, and then we’ll set about learnin’ what we need to know from this Pan!”
Weighted fishing nets appeared out of nowhere, falling straight at them. The weighted sides of the net slammed down onto the deck, crashing May and Phillip down to the wooden planks, Phillip landing beneath May.
Through the holes in the net, May watched booted feet walk away with a screaming Pan, while other booted feet ran around, following the captain’s orders. And then an extremely non-booted foot stopped right in front of May’s face. That foot was so non-booted, in fact, it was just bone.
“It’s supposed to be a peg leg,” May said, shaking her head. “Your whole stupid magical world can’t get anything right, can it?”
The pirate with the bone foot bent down and looked at May with what appeared to be his one good eye. “The man I took this from weren’t usin’ it, lovey. Why use a peg when I can get meself the whole foot?”
“’Cause feet don’t work that way!” she yelled. “Where are the ligaments, the muscles, the tendons! You can’t walk on bones! There’s nothing holding them together. The bones would all just fall apart!”
He smiled, showing off a mouth with only two teeth, and those on opposite sides. “Intimidatin’, though, ain’t it?” The one eye rolled over Phillip and May, and the smile dropped. “The captain wants me to be a’questionin’ you two. I assume your friend, the one who just disappeared ’low the waves, won’t be doin’ much talkin’… not if he be a’drowned.”
“He wasn’t much of a friend,” May said. “Right, Phillip?”
“Ah,” the prince said, and too late May realized that she’d never heard him lie before. “Um,” he continued, but stopped as May elbowed him hard. “We are on an urgent mission,” Phillip said finally. “If you let us go, you will have our thanks.”
“I’ll have yer thanks?” Bone Foot said. “What would I be wantin’ those for? Thanks ain’t no currency I never heard of! Now, get to explainin’ why you be needin’ a fairy queen!”
“It’s a long story,” May told him. “We need a dress for the ball and can’t find any in our size. Is there someone else around we could talk to, someone who’s not using a bunch of disconnected bones as a foot?”
“Perhaps the captain?” Phillip said.
“No one’s speakin’ to anyones till I’m ready for ye to be,” the pirate said, poking at May with a bone hand. Really, a bone hand too? Yeah, there was no way that could work. “And I’m not bein’ done with ye yet. Now, how did ye end up in the Land of Never?”
“How do you think?” May yelled. “One of the little kid adults let us in! Did you not notice that Pan hated us just as much as you? Also, I refuse to accept that you can point with bones not connected by anything!”
A few more of the smelliest, dirtiest, and beardiest men May had ever seen approached the net. Those men with eyes glared meanly at them. Those missing eyes just eye-patched them, but equally as meanly.
“Maybe ye were fightin’ the Pan and maybe ye weren’t,” the pirate with the skeleton limbs said, raising an eyebrow as he poked May in the leg. “Where’s yer proof?”
She kicked back hard, but ended up hitting Phillip instead.
“They’re allies o’ the Pan!” a pirate yelled from beyond May’s vision.
“They’re all goat people too, more than likely!” another yelled.
“Let’s cut ’em up and see!” a third yelled, this one brandishing a nasty-looking curved knife.
“QUIET, you bilge rat-eatin’ swine!” roared a voice, and the pirates instantly went silent. The group split apart, revealing Captain Bluebeard, now extremely Pan-less.
“Cap’n Bluebeard, sir,” Bone Foot said, respectfully lowering his head. “They claim to have no nothin’ with the Pan, Cap’n. That said, we ain’t been seeing proof as of yet.”
“Does they now, Skinny,” Captain Bluebeard declared, his eyes twinkling as he lay one hand on the hilt of the sword at his waist. “And yet, the Pan just claimed that he knows who these children be, just as he knows of me. Says they’re important types to some important-type person. How would he have been goin’ about gettin’ such information about two children without any alliance with ’em?”
“As a prince, I cannot lie, Captain,” Phillip said. “You may take me at my word. We are just as much victims of Pan as your crew was.”
The crew gasped, and May slapped her forehead. The prince sometimes wasn’t the most worldly of… well, anyone.
“A prince?” Bluebeard said, a smirk growing in his beard like some kind of fungus. “Some mighta believed it not bein’ in their best interest to tell a bunch of pirates such as me crew that ye be royalty, and therefore in the care o’ rich parents that might be a’payin’ to see that head still attached to that neck of yours.”
“PHILLIP,” May shouted, pushing the now-shocked prince backward before he could say anything to make things worse. “LET ME HANDLE THIS. Listen, Captain Pirate Guy. We’re on a deadline here, so save the ransom threats for later, okay? You can do whatever you want to Pan. I might even help you. But you heard us say we needed the help of a fairy queen, and we do, urgently. Right now it sounds like the only one is underwater, right where you stuck our other friend.” May tried to look sad, faking grief over Jack’s fake death, but his absence did worry her. How long did it take to swim back to the surface? Was he okay down there? Or was he planning some elaborately stupid rescue that would get them all killed?
The last one. Of course.
“Ye be in luck, then, girl,” the captain said, his eyes twinkling dangerously. “It just so happens that I be lookin’ for something down beneath the waves as well. So maybe there be some sort of agreement we could come to?”
“Agreement?” May asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Like what kind of agreement? If you need money, we can get it… eventually. His castle isn’t exactly close, but…”
“Oh, no money,” Bluebeard said, leaning down to look her right in the eye. “No, I want something much more valuable from ye two. I want the Sea Witch too. And you’re gonna bring her to me.”
CHAPTER 13
Two mermaids dragged Jack farther underwater as the last one watched to see if there was someone following them, probably to keep anyone from sharing their meal.
“Let me go!” Jack yelled, and just like before it was as if he were speaking in air, not underwater. The mermaids’ tears were really something… not that there seemed to be any danger of the mermaids crying now. Unless they were sad from their stomachaches after eating him whole.
“Oh, stop struggling,” the blonde said as she dragged him down. “One merperson is as strong as three of you people.”
“Or four of you, specifically,” the brunette said from his other arm, shaking her head in disgust.
“I get it,” Jack said. “You’re going to try to kill me with subtle insults. I’m not stupid. I caught that one. I see what you did there.”
“We’ve got a real genius on our hands, sisters,” the redheaded mermaid said from above them. “How ever will we outthink him?”
Jack glared up at her. “Listen, last time I talked to you three, you were all two oars short of having any oars, so I don’t want to hear it.”
One of the mermaids holding him smacked him hard in the back of the head with her tail. “That was Pan’s illusion, you idiot,” the blonde said as they approached the seafloor. “You really believed we were that stupid?”
Jack looked at her, and decided not to answer.
Her eyes narrowed. “I really wi
sh we were going to eat you, just for that.”
Jack suddenly felt some hope again. “Wait, you’re not going to?”
“Use smaller words, Sisters,” the redheaded mermaid said. “This one’s slower than the Southern Current.”
The other two mermaids laughed a bit at that, which irritated Jack. “I bet that’s the fastest current in the world,” he told them as they dropped him to the seafloor.
“It moves backward,” the blonde told him, sitting herself on a rock to one side of him while the brunette and the redhead settled themselves around him as well. “Which seems about right in your case.”
“But we didn’t bring you down here to point out how unintelligent you are,” the brunette said. “That was more just a special treat. We need your help.”
“And this is how you ask for it?!” Jack shouted.
“Let’s eat him,” the blonde said. “I don’t care if it does mean war, it’s not worth talking to this land monkey anymore.”
“Aren’t all monkeys land monkeys?” Jack asked.
“That’s it, he’s mine!” the blonde said as she grabbed him and yanked him backward. Fortunately, her two sisters pulled them apart and calmed her down.
“Maybe you should just play what we call the quiet game,” the redheaded mermaid told Jack after everyone had calmed down. Jack started to speak, then just nodded. This wasn’t the first time he’d had this effect on people.
“Pan brought us here almost forty years ago,” the brunette mermaid told him. “He needed… actors for his adventures with the children. He found us and that pirate ship above.”
“We were begging Bluebeard to stay away from our father, the Sea King,” the redhead said.
“Your father?” Jack asked. “You’re mermaid princesses?”
“He’s talking! He’s talking! I’m gonna eat him!” the blonde shouted.
“YES,” the brunette said, answering Jack’s question while keeping a close eye on her sister. “But try to stay with me. Bluebeard wants something, something our father wants to keep away from him at any cost. And when I say ‘any cost,’ I mean my father would be willing to wipe out your entire species to keep this thing away from Bluebeard.”
“Wipe us out?” Jack said. “But we’re already staying out of the ocean… right now being an exception. How could he hurt us?”
“You don’t want to know,” the brunette said, shivering. “He’s done magical experiments with sharks that would give you nightmares.”
“Either way, that’s something you won’t have to worry about, as long as you keep Bluebeard away from our lands,” the redhead said. “This isn’t a threat, it’s a warning. We don’t want humanity destroyed any more than you do. You’re cute, like little talking pets to us.”
Jack narrowed his eyes, then shrugged. “Yeah, fair enough, we are pretty cute. So what’s this thing that the pirate’s looking for? And how do I keep him away from it?”
The mermaids looked at one another. “It’s not something so much as someone,” the redhead said. “Specifically, our sister.”
“He wants a mermaid?” Jack said, eyebrows rising in surprise.
“Just be quiet and listen,” the redhead said. “Years ago… at this point, almost fifty years… our sister fell in love with a human.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “A human? But isn’t she half-fish?”
“Aren’t you half-monkey?”
“Being quiet now.”
“My sister loved this man so much, she decided to become human to be with him,” the mermaid continued. “Of course, that took magic, which in our world only the Sea King knew how to do. That all changed when a fairy queen fell in love with our father and became a mermaid herself. That’s actually where our sister got the stupid idea. What she didn’t really think through was that it didn’t work for the fairy queen, and it wasn’t going to work for her.”
“I don’t know, it seems like a sweet gesture,” Jack said, May’s smile coming into his head out of nowhere.
“A sweet gesture?” the mermaid shouted. “Giving up everything you are for some man you don’t really even know?”
“Well, see, you make it sound all bad when you say it like that.”
“Again, be quiet. Anyway, my sister began visiting this fairy queen, whom most merfolk began to call the Sea Witch, given that she would perform small acts of magic if you did her favors. After my father rejected her, the Sea Witch pushed most merfolk away, my sister being the sole exception.” The mermaid paused. “See? She abandoned her old life for love, and had it blow up in her face!”
“Speaking of Sea Witches, this one sounds fascinating,” Jack said as subtly as he could. “Any idea where she is now?”
“You don’t want to know,” the mermaid said. “Anyway, our sister learned some magic from her. Fairy queen magic is musical, and my sister always had a talent for singing. So she learned enough magic to give herself legs, then went looking for her human.” The mermaid sighed. “Needless to say, my father wasn’t thrilled. In fact, he was so not thrilled with a human stealing away his youngest daughter that he went up after her, took her back, and closed off our world to humans forever.”
“That seems a bit extreme,” Jack pointed out.
“Welcome to my father,” the mermaid said. “Either way, this pirate, Bluebeard, seems to have been employed to find our sister for this human. But after many, many failures, our sister sent us to go find Bluebeard. She wanted us to deliver a message, but just as we finally found him, Pan found us all, and here we are.”
“What’s the message?” Jack asked.
“Are you Bluebeard?” the mermaid asked him.
“Fair enough.”
“The only message Bluebeard needs to hear is this: Stay away,” the mermaid said. “He’s got some new plan involving the Sea Witch, but I can tell you right now it will only lead to bad things. I tell you this for the sake of your entire species. My father is powerful enough to go to war with all of humanity, and you really don’t want that happening. So whatever you do, do not come after my sister, the Sea Witch, or anything else underwater. Do you hear me?”
Jack put his hand on hers, looked straight into her eyes, and gave her his most sincere expression. “Loud and clear,” he said, wondering if she could see how fast he planned on breaking every single one of her rules.
CHAPTER 14
The pirate ship seemed bigger now than when May had seen it from shore. Maybe that was part of Pan’s magic too. The satyr didn’t seem too magical to May right now, tied up to a chair in what looked to be Captain Bluebeard’s cabin.
“I was playin’ yer game for nigh on forty years, Pan,” the captain said, his eyes gleaming dangerously as he stalked around the terrified creature. “And that means ye be owin’ me forty years o’ me life back, d’ye understand? Or should I be carvin’ those forty years outta yer own life?”
“Mmmmph!” Pan said, the gag in his mouth keeping him from saying anything.
“Tell me what I be askin’, goat boy,” the captain said.
“Mmmmmph!”
“He doesn’t seem to be cooperatin’!” Captain Bluebeard shouted.
“That can’t be smart fer his health, Cap’n,” Skinny pointed out.
“That it cannot, Skinny.” With that, despite Pan’s screaming, Captain Bluebeard kicked his chair backward, crashing the satyr to the floor. “Where do I be findin’ the Sea Witch?” Bluebeard asked quietly, sounding that much more dangerous for it.
Pan just stared back silently, his eyes wide.
“Okay, enough,” May said, and took the gag out of Pan’s mouth. “We’re not treating him like this anymore.”
“FORTY YEARS this creature wasted of mine!” Bluebeard roared, blowing May’s hair back with the strength of his bellowing. “FORTY YEARS! I’ll be treatin’ him in whatever manner I be wishin’!”
“You want my help?” May said, pushing Bluebeard backward. “Then you’ll ask him NICELY! Otherwise I’m jumping over the side along with m
y friend.”
“Princess,” Phillip warned, but May just reached out and pinched the prince’s lips closed.
“Well?” May said, raising one eyebrow.
Bluebeard slammed a fist down hard enough to split his own table, then sighed. “Pan, where be the Sea Witch. Show me on me map. Now.”
Pan immediately grabbed the map and pointed to a spot just six or seven inches away from a random shoreline, one with a roundish castle on it. “There, she’s there! That’s where their capital city is! There! Please, I’ve told you what you want to know—”
Bluebeard grabbed Pan with one hand and ripped him out of the chair with the other. “SEND US THERE!” he roared. “Send ALL of us, and this entire ship, to that spot or I will rend you limb from gaunt limb!”
Pan squeaked his agreement, and suddenly everything began to wrench away, as if someone were pulling apart two pieces of glued paper, then reversing until they fell back into place. Nothing looked that different, but the view out a cabin window of the water looked the same whether you were looking at a bay in the Land of Never or the middle of the ocean.
And then something occurred to May as her entire body went deathly cold. They’d just left the Land of Never, and Jack with it.
“Send us back!” May screamed, grabbing Pan out of Bluebeard’s hand and slamming him against the wall. “SEND US BACK NOW!”
Bluebeard pulled Pan away from her. “Ye’ll rot in the brig for a few decades. See how ye like it!” he said, throwing the satyr to one of his pirates. “And if ye try any magic on me crew, I’ll cut off yer shadow and feed it to ya!”
Pan nodded silently over and over as two pirates carried him away.
“NO!” May screamed again. “JACK! We have to go back!”
“Oh, yer drowned friend?” Bluebeard said calmly, all traces of his rage now replaced with a friendly ease. “I wouldn’t be a’worryin’ about him if I were ye.”
“I will worry you in the face if you don’t bring us back right now!” May screamed.
Phillip drew his sword and leapt at the pirate, but out of nowhere someone grabbed the back of Phillip’s shirt, dragged him to a halt, then stuck a flickering, glowing sword right to Bluebeard’s throat.
