by Tea DeLuca
“My natural color is closer to yours,” Tammy admitted. “I’m kind of tired of the Gothic look anyway.”
Mags dug around in her purse. “Would you like to try these? The pink gloss is new. I haven’t tried it yet, and the blush is almost new, but I think it’s a good color on you. If you don’t like them, you can throw them out, and you haven’t wasted any money. I like your eyes. They’re beautiful anyway, but the mascara and eye shadow really highlight them.”
“We exaggerate the eye makeup for the performance, but I do like it. I’ve got to get back. Are you staying?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Magnolia,” She stopped before the stage steps. “Are you and my dad still together? I haven’t seen you around.”
“We’ve both been busy, honey.”
She rejoined the rest of the cast. She needed a mom. She could be her friend if she ended up with Craig, but that wasn’t likely. Her heart still wanted Mark.
When she returned home, she made a little dinner, slipped into soft pajamas, and settled on the sofa with her novel. If she couldn’t be with Mark, she’d spend her time with her book boyfriend, the dashing Brent, CEO of a fashion company. A poor substitute, he would have to do till Mark saved her. She slept poorly that night. The nightmares that had started when she learned she had cancer returning. She let Rufus sleep in his spot. Mark could deal with the dog when the time came.
By morning she was more tired than the night before. Maybe she was coming down with something, at least that’s what she told Craig when he called. Cleaning became her next obsession. Keeping her physically busy, making the time pass, and making the apartment look presentable, but by late afternoon she was even too restless to clean. Something nagged at her like a big cloud hanging over her. She tried to shake it off. The cancer hadn’t come back. There was nothing to fear, yet she was overwhelmed with a feeling of dread, a panic that something bad was going to happen that she couldn’t prevent. Maybe the bad vibes were an overreaction to being happier than she had been in a long time because of Mark. She’d see him soon, and he’d force away the doubts, extinguish the pessimism, and remind her how happy she was.
Rufus needed a walk, and Mags needed out of the apartment. She grabbed her book, leashed the dog, and stuffed a couple of granola bars in her pockets. She hadn’t eaten much. Maybe the fresh air and walk would stimulate her appetite. As they neared the park, she wondered again what he did on these weekends. He had never said she couldn’t call or text. She just hadn’t thought it right. She glanced at her phone then pulled up his number. It didn’t have to be a big deal. She was lonely, and she missed him.
Miss you. Are you busy?
He usually responded quickly, but she walked through the park, walked her warm husky into the cool waters by the shore, and finally settled on a bench under a shade tree without a response. She wasn’t surprised, but she had hoped. Rufus rolled in the grass at her feet and stretched out for a nap.
The park wasn’t helping. It was filled with families on the warm summer day. Mothers and fathers with their children. Husbands and wives off work on a gorgeous Sunday playing in the park. She hadn’t felt so alone in a very long time. She reached a hand down to pet Rufus as a family set up a volleyball net, as children splashed in the water, and as elderly couples, holding hands, walked slowly and deliberately with their own pets. She opened her book and hoped the book boyfriend was in. Mark still hadn’t returned her text.
She brushed away the heat from her brow and adjusted on the bench and missed the voices.
“It’s the lady from the store with her dog!”
“Magnolia?”
She looked up to pretty blue eyes staring into Rufus’ blue eyes. “Is that your dog?” Rufus excitedly sniffed around Liddy as the child giggled and held Mags’ hand. “Can I pet her?”
Mags turned her little hand in hers. “You have to be careful with a new dog, honey. Turn your palm up for her to sniff so she knows you won’t hurt her. Now, you can pet her.”
“She’s just like the dog you gave me.”
Mags stroked her ponytail. “Same dog, a husky. They’re bred for cold weather to pull a sled. She’s a very strong dog.”
Liddy stared at her with wide-eyed affection. “I love her.” She wrapped her arms around the dog’s neck, and Mags laughed softly.
“She’s a good dog and loves to be loved.”
“Magnolia, I can’t believe we ran into you here.”
She hadn’t even noticed Dr. Stratton standing in front of her. “I just live a few blocks from here. We take a lot of walks in the park.”
“You look well, honey.”
Mags flinched. Maybe it was her imagination, but even in the store or now in the park it felt like the doctor was commenting on her health. She didn’t need the reminders. Was she ever just a regular person? And why was she in the park with Liddy?
“Daddy, Daddy, look at my dog,” Liddy screamed.
“Magnolia’s dog,” Melissa corrected.
It wasn’t till he knelt beside Liddy that Mags saw…Mark. What was he doing in…? Had Liddy called him Daddy?
“She likes me, Daddy.”
“Yes, she does, princess,” Mark said quietly, focusing on Mags.
She was thoroughly confused. It was like those puzzles that looked right, but there were little mistakes hidden in the pictures. Mark didn’t belong in this picture.
“Magnolia, this is Mark, the man I told you about.”
Mags stared at Melissa then a cannon ball ripped through her chest, shattering her heart. The man she was in love with? The man she hoped to marry? The man who was taking her to Italy? That was Mark? She couldn’t breathe, the air heavy and thick in her lungs. And if Liddy was his daughter, he was Stacy’s ex-husband. Oh, God, why hadn’t he told her about Liddy? Maybe she knew the answer, but she couldn’t think. She dropped her book as she rose but didn’t care. He had used her. He was marrying Melissa. She yanked on Rufus’ leash. “I have to leave.”
“But I want to play with Rufus,” Liddy whined.
Mags’ stomach turned. She needed to get away, or she was going to be sick. She leaned closer to Liddy. “I come to the park all the time. You can play with her again next time, sweetie.”
Mark caught the leash as she moved to go. “Mags.”
She pulled away, blinded by pain and fury. For the first time she was ahead of the dog, tugging her towards home. Pushing the dog into the apartment, she leaned against the door and burst into tears. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He never made any promises. What had she expected? Some stupid happily ever after? There was no such thing. He was seeing Melissa, no doubt sleeping with her, taking her to Italy, and probably marrying her. She slid down the door to the floor and rested her face against her knees.
Then what exactly had she been? Some pity fuck? Give the cancer girl a little attention? Or was it revenge or closure? One last fuck marathon till he settled down with Melissa. She cried harder, the shattered pieces of her heart disintegrating into splinters, digging deeper even than the pain when he left the first time. Rufus tried to nuzzle her face, but she pushed her away. There was no comfort there either. The sobs wracked her till she closed her eyes and listened to the sounds in her building. Footsteps on the stairs, voices in the hall, traffic—normal noises. She needed normal to calm down, but there was no calm. He was dating her doctor. Had Melissa told him about the cancer? Is that how he knew? Weren’t there privacy laws? Should she put in a complaint against her doctor? Did she tell Mark about poor Magnolia? She threw her backpack viciously against the wall.
That’s when she realized her mother had been right. She was locked in 2013. She had stopped time, waiting for Mark to come back to her, and if she hadn’t run into him that night in the restaurant, she’d still be waiting. The apartment with all their stuff infuriated her, his clothes in the closet, even the dog, but her stupidity tipped the scales to rage. How could she have been so stupid? How many guys had she dismissed, because they weren’t Mark?
Enough, enough, enough. It was time to take a giant leap in time to 2018, to the present, and, most importantly, to put Mark where he belonged, solidly in her past. She had a lot to do.
She grabbed one of her school notebooks and opened to a clean page. Things to do, she wrote in bold letters.
1.Move out of the apartment, away from the memories, and all things Mark. Where would she go? Craig had suggested moving in with him as a trial to see how they got along, but she wouldn’t turn to him on the rebound. She could stay with her parents for a while. Her mother needed help with her dad anyway, and it would help both of them.
2.Clean out the apartment. She’d let the super know tomorrow that she was leaving. She’d take only her clothes, not one other thing in this apartment. She was starting over with nothing.
3.She’d call corporate tomorrow, too, and ask for a transfer. That might take a little time, but she wanted a store cross town. She’d miss Sandy and Ronnie, but at least she wouldn’t run the risk of seeing Mark by accident.
4.She’d go to the phone store down the block from the coffee shop. She needed a new phone and number.
5.And she needed to find a new doctor. She’d get her records from Dr. Stratton’s office. She couldn’t possibly see her professionally now.
6.Rufus nudged her leg and waited expectedly. Tears welled up in her eyes. The dog had to go, too. The crazy dog had fallen in love with Mark, and Liddy wanted her. It was perfect. The family; Mark, Liddy, Rufus, and Melissa.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she ignored it. She was overwhelmed with what she had to do but sitting here wasn’t going to get the job done. Her phone buzzed again. Both texts from Mark.
Mags, we have to talk. And the second Let me come over after I take Liddy home. I can explain everything.
No, he couldn’t. We have nothing to talk about. Everything is crystal clear. Leave me alone.
She tossed her phone on the counter and slammed her way out of the apartment without locking the door. Fuck, the locks. She hurried around the side of the building and rummaged through the dumpster till she found three boxes. In one swift sweep, she cleared the sill of the shells. They smashed in the bottom of the box. Next, she tossed in the picture frames without removing the pictures. Any mementoes or gifts ended in the discard box. She dug out the custody contract and shredded it into the box. He could sue her. She didn’t care.
In the second box she emptied her shelves and cupboard of her romance novels. Stupid books she subconsciously took seriously. No undying love, no passion and sparks, no second chances, and definitely no happily ever after. The box overflowed.
She grabbed a large plastic bag for his clothes. If he wanted his suits or the rest of his things, he could get them from the dumpster. In the last box she emptied kitchen cupboards, smashing glassware, plates, vases, everything. Everything was about Mark and had to go.
Finally, she pulled out two large suitcases and pitched in her clothes. The dog laid down and watched her warily. They’d both be gone soon. She packed some of her bathroom toiletries but discarded the cleaning supplies. She pushed the boxes by the door and fell exhausted on the bed. The tears started again. She couldn’t sleep in this bed with his scent on the pillows and the images she easily conjured up. She’d try to sleep on the sofa till she went home to her parents.
With any luck at all within a few days, she’d be living in the present. Free of all reminders of Mark, she would pick up the pieces of her shattered life and find a new normal, but this time she’d be smarter about relationships. She snapped the lid of the little black box. Love was so overrated and destructive. She would never let her scarred heart be open to love again. She had loved once, and she never wanted to feel it again, because the inevitable pain that would follow wouldn’t be worth it.
Chapter 42
Mark dropped off Liddy and sat in his car quite a while. For a brief moment he had seen the family they should have been. He and Mags with Liddy and Rufus. For a split second, he thought he could make it happen till he saw the devastated look on her face. He couldn’t explain in front of Melissa or Liddy. He couldn’t make her understand what was in his heart. She felt betrayed. It was written all over her face, and in those moments, he watched her put the pieces together. He saw it register; he had a daughter. Could she forgive him for protecting Liddy a little longer from a relationship that was fragile and new even for them? Or was the real hurt Melissa who didn’t listen to him and had created a fictional family for him? He wanted to hold Maggie, beg her not to cry, but to think of what had once again happened between them. It was real, but tonight he may have booted their second chance. That couldn’t be true. She had been so good with Liddy, too. They could make it work.
He wanted to drive to the apartment, but he knew her well. She needed to calm down. She’d never listen to him just yet. He’d leave her one more message later then he’d catch her at work tomorrow. She wouldn’t make a scene in a public place especially her work. She’d listen to reason and agree to talk to him. He’d make her understand, forgive him, and when Liddy came back to him, they’d do something together. They could work this out. Maybe. Her startled expression, the shock and the hurt, remained etched in his mind. She’d forgive him; she had to let him fix this.
Melissa had chatted non-stop back to his apartment from the park. She shouldn’t have even been with him. She showed up unannounced as he was leaving to take Liddy to the park. He didn’t think they’d run into Mags, and he could always divert Liddy’s attention in a different direction, but he hadn’t counted on his daughter recognizing the store lady or breaking away from him to get to Rufus. Then, of course, Melissa had to say hello. He was trapped. When Liddy called him, he had no choice but to respond to his child and to break Mags’ heart.
Melissa wanted to stay after Liddy went home. Still pushing for sex in his apartment, he sat in his car. He told her to go home before he got back, but he knew she’d wait for a while. He sent a text to Perry to meet him for a beer. Twenty minutes later he was already finishing his second beer and ordering a third.
“Do you want to tell me what happened before you obliterate yourself with alcohol?” Perry asked.
“Fucked up. Let’s leave it at that.”
“You called me, Markie. Thought you wanted to talk.”
“No, won’t change anything.”
Perry squeezed his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s play some pool.” At an open table, Perry racked the balls and handed the cue stick to Mark. “Break them.” Maybe the game would at least slow down his alcohol intake.
By his third shot, Mark blurted out, “Mags found out everything tonight. She didn’t know about Liddy or Melissa.”
Perry stared thoughtfully at the table, focusing on his next shot. “Does it matter?”
“It matters. I hurt her; I never wanted to hurt her.”
“Love? Getting hurt is part of the deal.”
“Cynic.”
“Keeps me safe. Did you promise Maggie something? Tell me you didn’t.”
“No, but we were becoming closer. I wanted a second chance, and I think she did, too, but I blew it. She’s so angry and hurt, rightfully so.”
“I don’t see why. You have every right to see Melissa and protect Liddy. Maggie gave up any right to your life a long time ago.”
“You don’t understand.”
“You’re right,” Perry agreed. “I don’t understand but look at it this way. At least this time you ended it. Paybacks are a bitch.”
Mark missed the shot. Did Mags think he made love to her as some kind of revenge thing? No, Perry had to be wrong. Did she think she was some kind of fling till he settled down with Melissa? Damn, he had to talk to her tonight. He sent another text.
We’ll talk when you calm down and will listen to me, but for now remember I love you. I didn’t play any games with you, Mags. I really can explain.
He left Perry and went home. His goal wasn’t to get drunk, but he couldn’t sleep. He waited half the night for her to
answer, but she didn’t. At least, Melissa had tired of waiting and left. He’d straighten this out in the morning. He would; he wouldn’t lose her again. He just hoped he hadn’t lost her already.
Chapter 43
Mags woke up stiff on the sofa just as the sun poked in through the blinds. This would be her last night in the apartment. She left a message for Sandy that she needed one day maybe two off, but she could call her cell if anything came up, and she spoke briefly to her mother, asking for a place to stay. She lied. Too close to tears, she told her the apartment was being painted, and she needed a place to stay. When she could calmly explain, she would tell her mom she was giving Craig a chance and moving to the present. Her mother wouldn’t press her for details. She would understand something had happened and would be grateful for the help with her dad.
Thank God she had left the coffee pot and one mug in her purging mission last night. Today would be a greater challenge disposing of the furniture. After a quick shower, after locating a towel from the trash pile, she studied the project in front of her. She’d start with the table and chairs she had lugged home from a garage sale. Mark had carried them upstairs. The tears on stand-by she remembered him laughing at her insistence it was useful and all they needed. It had been. They were in love. They didn’t need much else.
She took the two chairs down to the dumpster. The table folded up and, though a bit heavy it soon joined the chairs. Sipping another cup of coffee, she stared thoughtfully at the sofa, a castaway from Mark’s folks. They had money, and something didn’t have to be worn to be discarded. It could still serve someone else, and if she could get it down to the dumpster, someone might take it. It wasn’t her problem but getting it out of the apartment was. One step at a time. She dragged it across the hardwood floor with the accompanying squeal. If the super charged her for damages, so be it. She’d pay it in time. She shut Rufus in the bedroom, stacked the boxes and bag in the hall, and shoved the sofa through the door—halfway. There it stuck. Damn, maybe she should have tilted it on its side, but she could neither push it out or pull it back in. Great. Most people in her building would have already left for work. She couldn’t even find someone to help her. She sat on the sofa and wanted to cry again until Randy came out of his apartment next door.
