He nodded slowly. For a long moment he held her gaze. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He just needed to be on his own.
Angie stretched up and placed a kiss on his cheek, and for once, he was happy with that. “Good night, Jayden. See you in the morning.”
He pulled her close, holding her tight for a short moment before releasing her. He gulped and cleared his throat. “Thanks Angie.” His voice croaked. “It’s been a great day.” He squeezed back fresh tears as she smiled at him and turned to walk away.
Jayden entered his room and closed the door. Sitting on his bed, he held his head in his hands. If only the noise would stop. His chest heaved. He had to know if what Angie had said was true. Could God really live in his heart?
He tried to settle his thoughts. All along he’d determined not to get caught up with emotion, and it annoyed him that he’d let his guard down. Right now his heart felt raw, vulnerable. How could he know for sure if it was just emotion he was feeling, or if God really was trying to get through to him?
After several more moments, he raised his head and inhaled slowly. Sitting on the shelf beside his bed, an old, well-used Bible caught his attention. He reached for it and flipped it open. So many pages; so many words. He needed more than the verses he’d been reading about God. He needed to discover how to know God.
A few scrap pieces of paper, like bookmarks, poked out of the Bible. He flicked to the first one and read the verse in Isaiah Chapter 55 that someone had highlighted. 'Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while he is near.'
His heart quickened. But how do you find Him? He flicked to the next bookmarked page and found another verse highlighted; Jeremiah chapter 29, verses 11 to 14: '“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.”'
The answer was clear. He had to seek God with all his heart. He closed the Bible and knelt beside his bed, something he hadn’t done for many years. He drew a long, slow breath and closed his eyes. A longing deep within him welled up and spilled out in the form of tears. He really didn’t need to say anything, but eventually he managed a few words. His voice was little more than a whisper. “God, please show me how I can know You. Please show me the way.”
Chapter 10
With so much on his mind and his heart, Jayden hadn’t expected to sleep the night of his birthday, so when the first rays of sunlight stole through the window the following morning, he blinked. Sunday morning, and he didn’t need to go to work. And he was at Angie’s place. Even better. But then the events of the night before flashed through his mind. Had he really broken down in front of her entire family? A heaviness grew in his chest. How could he face them this morning? Especially Simon. He needed to see Angie.
Although tempted to stay in bed and hide, he eventually climbed out and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. He walked quietly towards the kitchen, his shoulders falling as he peeked in. Mrs. Morgan and Jessica were seated at the table, their heads close together, talking quietly.
He backed up slowly. Maybe they hadn’t seen him. He turned and inched along the hallway to a side door, which he opened very quietly, and snuck outside. He shivered as the door clicked behind him. The sun hadn’t yet warmed the air, but its rays, filtering through the trees in the distance, promised another lovely day ahead. Maybe a walk would do him good. Get his mind sorted. But as he stood, drawing in the crisp country air, the sound of cows mooing gently reached his ears from the barn to the left of the ranch.
Jayden wandered over to the barn and peeked in. Mr. Morgan was perched on a stool, milking one of the three cows by hand.
Jayden ducked, but Mr. Morgan had glanced up and had seen him. Jayden gritted his teeth.
Mr. Morgan waved to him. “Come in, son. Come and see how it’s done.”
Jayden sighed. He had no choice. Wrinkling his nose at the smell of fresh cow dung, he carefully made his way to the stall where Mr. Morgan sat. Apart from the three cows, a large mother pig with numerous piglets also resided in the barn. He gagged at the stench. He should have given the barn a wide berth.
“Ever milked a cow?” Mr. Morgan looked up but continued squirting milk from the cow’s teats into the metal bucket without missing a beat.
Jayden shook his head.
“It’s not as hard as it looks. Would you like to try?”
Jayden crossed his arms, and angling his head, studied Mr. Morgan’s action. It didn’t look that hard. He shrugged. “Okay.”
“Pull up a stool and I’ll get you started.”
Jayden grabbed a stool from the side and sat near Mr. Morgan. The cow seemed so much bigger now he was perched beside her. She turned her head as if she was checking him out.
“Her name’s Betsy.” Mr. Morgan gave her side a gentle rub.
Betsy turned her head back to the feed trough and resumed eating.
“It’s not hard, you just need to get a rhythm going. Put your hand around the teat like this.” Mr. Morgan squeezed the tips of his thumb and forefinger together, making a circle, before slipping his hand around one of Betsy’s teats.
Jayden copied him, but just in the air.
“Then squeeze gently on the teat, pulling down at the same time. Like this.”
He leaned forward and watched intently. It looked easy.
“Okay, your turn.” Mr. Morgan grinned as he shifted to the side and motioned for Jayden to take his place.
Jayden hooked his feet around the legs of the stool, took a deep breath, and placed his hand around one of the cow’s teats like he’d been shown. He wasn’t expecting it to be so warm and firm. He glanced at Mr. Morgan and pulled a face. “It feels strange.”
“I guess it does.” Mr. Morgan laughed. “Okay, now squeeze gently and pull down.”
Jayden did what he was told, but nothing came out. He tried again. Still nothing. “What am I doing wrong?” He glanced at Mr. Morgan.
“Nothing. Just get a rolling action going. Nice and steady. You’ll get a feel for it.”
Jayden drew another breath and started again. He could do this. How hard could it be? This time a squirt came out and he laughed.
“That’s it, you’ve got it.” Mr. Morgan patted him on the back. “You’re a natural.”
A proud grin grew on Jayden’s face as the bucket began to fill.
“Now try both hands.”
“Okay.” Jayden shifted on the stool to get a better position, and then placed his right hand on one teat, getting that going before starting with his left hand. Mr. Morgan was right—it didn’t take long to get a rhythm going.
“You’re doing great.”
Jayden’s mouth curved into a smile, but when a flash of red hair caught his eye, he stiffened. Angie was watching him, but he didn’t stop. He took some quick breaths and then focused on Betsy, but he couldn’t help the occasional glance at Angie.
She stepped closer and crossed her arms as she leaned on a railing, an amused grin growing on her face. “Anyone would think you’ve done this before!”
“He’s doing well, isn’t he?” Mr. Morgan stood and leaned on the rail beside her.
“Yes, he is. A natural.”
Jayden’s heart swelled. Maybe he should go back to school and work towards becoming a vet sooner rather than later. But as an image of Tessa flashed through his mind, he lost his rhythm and the milk stopped flowing. He let out a heavy sigh and hung his head.
Mr. Morgan placed his hand on Jayden’s shoulder. “It’s okay, son. You did well. I can finish her off.”
Jayden stood and moved aside, allowing Mr. Morgan to take over.
Angie held out her hand. Her face had grown serious. “Come for a walk?”
Jayden nodded and took her hand. Stepping out of the barn, he sucked in th
e fresh air and tried to steady his thoughts.
“What’s up?” Angie angled her head towards him.
He shrugged. “Just a lot going on in my head, that’s all.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Maybe.” He should tell Angie what he’d prayed last night. She’d understand. In fact, she’d be happy he was seeking God. But he wasn’t quite ready.
They walked in silence for a good ten minutes. He didn’t even know where they were heading, he just walked without taking notice of his surroundings, lost in thought. Inside him, everything was a jumble and his head felt like it was about to explode.
When they reached the edge of a small stream, Angie suggested they sit on a log.
Jayden stared at the crystal clear water flowing slowly downstream. In this lovely, peaceful place, he should have been relaxed and happy, but both his heart and mind were heavy. If only he could run away with Angie and hide from the world.
“Would it help to talk now?”
Jayden lifted his head and met Angie’s gaze. Her eyes were soft and caring, just like her voice. He drew in a breath. Yes, it was time—he needed to talk. He nodded.
“God’s working on you, I can sense it.”
His heart pounded. “I… I told God last night I want to know Him, but I feel so mixed up.”
A huge smile grew on her face. “That’s wonderful. That’s what’s happening to you. God’s working on you, but there’s a battle going on inside you. Satan doesn’t want to let God have you.”
Jayden’s brows puckered. “Is Satan real?”
Angie nodded, her expression growing serious. “You bet. There’s a spiritual battle going on inside you right now. That’s what it feels like, isn’t it? A battleground?”
He nodded. That’s exactly what it was like.
“If you ask Jesus into your life, you’ll have God on your side, and he’ll have won the battle.” Angie paused, her gaze steady. “Would you like to do that?”
No, he wasn’t ready. He still didn’t know what it all meant. “I need to know more.”
“That’s okay, but don’t put it off too long. You’ll never know everything this side of heaven—at some stage you just have to ask God into your heart.”
He tried to smile. “I won’t. I promise.”
Later that morning, sitting in church beside Angie and her family, Jayden listened to the message with an open heart and allowed the words of the worship songs to minister to him. When Pastor Graham offered an altar call at the end of the service, his heart quickened. This was it. Like Angie said, he’d never know everything, but he knew enough. He knew in his heart that God was real, and that God loved him enough to send His only Son to die for him so that he could have new life. That’s all he needed to know.
Drawing a slow breath, he stood and walked to the front. Tears streamed down his face, but he didn’t care. He was giving his life to God, and from this day forward he’d live in the knowledge that he was loved by the Creator, cleansed, forgiven and guilt free. He’d face all that lay ahead of him with God in his heart. God would lead and guide him, and give him direction.
He remained at the front doing business with God for a long time. Pastor Graham prayed with him, and Angie and her parents joined him. A weight lifted off his shoulders and his heart, and was replaced with a sense of freedom and joy he’d not experienced before. Today was the beginning of his new life.
“Congratulations, Jayden.” Angie beamed at him as she gave him a huge hug. Her eyes were red, but her smile couldn’t have been more genuine.
“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” He gazed into her eyes. “I mean that, I really do. If I hadn’t met you…”
She lifted her finger and placed it over his lips. “But you did. That’s all that matters.”
“Yes, and I’m so glad.” He smiled at her before straightening. “You know what I need to do now?”
Angie shook her head.
“I need to call Dad.”
Chapter 11
Ben woke to the sound of the phone ringing. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table. Five a.m. He groaned.
Tessa stirred. “Are you going to get that?” Her voice was sleepy and slow.
“Yes…” Reaching over, he grabbed the phone and held it to his ear.
“Dad…”
Ben’s eyes widened and he sat with a jolt. “Jayden… is it really you?”
“Yes, I’m… I’m so sorry, Dad.” Jayden’s voice choked. But it didn’t sound like Jayden at all. His voice was deeper.
“It’s okay. It’s all okay.” Ben suddenly felt light headed.
“Really?”
“Yes…”
Tessa slipped her arm around Ben’s shoulder.
Jayden sniffled. “I’ve… I’ve got something to tell you.”
Ben stiffened. His heart pounded. Was Jayden in trouble? Had something happened to Kathryn? “What is it, son? What’s happened?” Ben could barely speak.
“It’s okay, Dad. It’s good news.”
Ben let out a relieved sigh. “You had me concerned. What is it, then? Are you coming home?”
Silence.
“No… not yet…” Another pause. “I… I became a Christian today.”
Ben blinked. “Really? That’s wonderful.” Tears streamed down his face. “Congratulations.” He couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice.
“Thank you.”
“That’s even better news than telling us you’re coming home.” Ben laughed. “And that’s saying something.”
“I know.” Another silence. “Dad, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing, but this is a start. Okay?”
“Okay.” Ben gulped. “It’s just fantastic to hear your voice. But you sound different.”
“Yes, I’m all grown up.”
“And you have a girlfriend.”
“Yes. She’s here with me now.”
Ben winced. “She sounds like a nice girl.”
“She is. The best.”
Ben drew a slow breath. “And you’re okay?”
“Yes.” Jayden paused. “I need to go now, but I just wanted to give you my news.”
“Thank you,” Ben swallowed hard and pulled Tessa close. “Tessa and I appreciate it.”
“I’ll call again soon.”
Ben squeezed his eyes, pushing his tears back. “We’ll look forward to it.”
“Bye, Dad.”
“Good-bye Jayden. We love you.”
Ben replaced the receiver and leaned against the pillows, stroking Tessa’s hair as she rested her head on his chest. “I don’t believe it, Tess. He rang. And he’s a Christian.” His voice broke again as happy tears stung his eyes.
Tessa hugged him and lifted her head. “It’s the best news. It’s what we’ve been praying for.”
He nodded. Grabbing a tissue, he wiped his face and blew his nose. “I know. I’m still pinching myself.” Moments passed. A million thoughts flashed through his mind. How did it happen? Where was Jayden when he called? Where was he when he gave his heart to the Lord? A tinge of sadness settled on Ben’s heart. He shouldn’t be sad, but how could he not be? Jayden had grown up so much, and he and Tess were missing out on so much of his life. But maybe God had used everything to bring him to this point. They needed to rejoice and be happy for him. And as Jayden said, it was a start.
Ben straightened and turned to Tessa. “We need to pray, Tess. To thank God.”
Tessa struggled to sit. “Yes, we do.”
He held her hand and bowed his head. He was still struggling to believe what had just happened. It was truly amazing, almost unbelievable. He cleared his throat and sucked in a breath. “Lord, I don’t really know what to say, apart from ‘thank You’. Thank You that Jayden called, and thank You for answering our prayers.” He paused, swallowing hard. “Thank You for not giving up on him, dear Lord. This is just the best news.” He paused again. “Be with Jayden in the days ahead. Help him to grow in You, and to become the young man
You want him to be. And Lord, we still ask You to bring him home, but in Your time, not ours. In Jesus’ precious name we pray, Amen.” Ben squeezed his eyes shut as an overwhelming sense of joy and expectation filled his heart.
Tessa sniffed as she squeezed his hand. “Amen.” She straightened further, wiping her eyes with her fingers. “This is just so exciting. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate at work today.”
Ben chuckled as he met her gaze. “Me either.”
She slid out of bed and threw on her dressing gown, doing the tie up loosely over her tummy. “I need to tell Mum and Dad. And Margaret. And Stephanie. And Fraser, and…”
Ben’s head shot up. “Whoa, Tess, slow down. We don’t want the baby to come yet.”
“I’ve still got ages to go. I’m fine.”
“Yes, but you know what the doctor said.”
Tessa paused, stepping closer to him and reaching out her hand. “It’s okay. I’m perfectly fine.”
“I’m sorry, I just get a little anxious when I see you overly excited, that’s all.”
“I understand. We both want this baby to come with no problems. And it will.” Her smile broadened as she placed his hand on her tummy.
He relaxed when the baby moved. There was nothing better. Well, apart from Jayden calling. His heart warmed as Tessa leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.
“I’m off to make those calls.” She flashed him a smile that lit up her face. She turned to leave, but then stopped and spun around. “We should celebrate. Ask everybody over.”
Ben drew his brows together. “We only just saw everyone.”
She chuckled. “I don’t think they’ll mind getting together again for such a special occasion.”
He angled his head. “What are you thinking?”
“Dinner here tonight?” She raised a brow.
“We’re becoming quite the entertainers!”
THE TRUE LOVE SERIES BOX SET: A Christian Romance Page 47
