Ethan grunted. “You make better coffee than he does.”
She gave her uncles a look of sheer disgust. “You just want to talk to Tao without me around, which means you want to talk to him about me.”
As if hurt, Max slapped a hand over his heart. “Would we trick you like that?”
“Yes. Yes, you would.”
Ethan chuckled. “Go, we won’t take long.”
She snorted at his reassuring smile. “Why don’t you just say it in front of me?”
“Because you’ll answer his questions for him so we only hear what you want us to hear,” said Ethan.
“I’m fine!” she growled.
“Then that’s what he’ll tell us, isn’t it?” said Max. “So there’s no need for you to stay.”
She stood, threw up her arms, and left the room—grumbling to herself the entire time.
Once she was out of hearing range, Max turned to Tao. “How’s she been? She seems better this morning.”
Tao slid into Riley’s seat and linked his fingers behind his head. “She seethed all the way back to the cabin. Thoughts of vengeance pretty much took over for a while. She calmed down eventually, but she barely touched her dinner.”
Ethan sighed. “Her appetite always suffers when she’s upset. Did she sleep much?”
Tao shook his head. “She woke up a lot earlier than she usually does, and she was too wired to relax and get back to sleep. I stayed up with her because I was worried she’d go off hunting for the bastard who shot you.”
“Good call on your part,” said Max. “You did a good job of bringing her out of her zone yesterday. That’s what we used to call it. She had a few grief triggers as a kid.”
“It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her like that,” said Tao, “so I think they lost their sharp edge a long time ago. Seeing Ethan hurt must have just thrown her back to the past.”
Ethan nodded. “You like our Riley a lot, don’t you?”
Tao snorted. “She’s a pain in my ass most of the time.”
Flashing him an understanding smile, Max said, “Riley has a bad habit of annoying people to keep them at a distance.”
“Yeah, it took me a while to realize that was what she was doing.” But she hadn’t done it recently; she’d kept her word and let him in. Both Tao and his wolf felt rather smug about that.
“It’s nothing personal to you.” Ethan paused to drink some water. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been around a child who’s lost a parent, but it’s heartbreaking. Riley was very close to Anabel and Daniel. She’d only just turned four when they died and she didn’t really understand what happened. Even though she pretty much watched Daniel die, she’d look for them, call out for them, wait at the window for them. We’d try to explain the situation to her and she’d nod like she understood, but then she’d go searching for them again.
“Eventually she stopped looking. And then all we’d ever see in her eyes was fear. Fear of being without her parents, fear of being alone, fear of anything else bad happening. She didn’t trust the world anymore. She changed from happy and open to wary and cautious. She didn’t accept new people in her life easily, and if she could annoy them into leaving her alone, she would.” Ethan paused. “You see, deep inside Riley is a little girl who doesn’t think she’s enough to hold anyone to her.”
“Because her father didn’t hold on for her,” Tao guessed.
“It’s probably not fair of me to judge him for it, but she’s my niece and I love her—it’s my right to judge anyone who hurts her.”
“Sage should never have put pressure on her to keep him alive,” said Tao.
“No, he shouldn’t have,” Ethan agreed. “He’s my Alpha and I respect him, but he let her down there.”
Max leaned back. “She’ll take a little time to let you fully in, but that’s only because a subconscious part of her is testing you—if you’re persistent, it will show you’re truly interested and worth the risk. It’s a defense mechanism, I guess, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even realize it’s there. But once she lets a person in, they’re in.”
Tao tilted his head. “What you’re saying is that I should be patient with her?”
“Patient?” echoed Ethan. “No. You don’t strike me as the patient type. We’re telling you to keep on chipping away at her walls. If you give her even a moment’s reprieve, she’ll shore up her defenses without even knowing she’s doing it. Riley will drive you crazy, but she’ll also protect you with her life and be loyal to you to the day she dies . . . if you’re worth it. So be worth it. She deserves that in a mate.”
Mate? Tao stiffened. “It’s not that serious between me and Riley.”
Max smiled. “I said the same thing about Ethan when my mom asked about him.”
Ethan chuckled at Max. “I told my mom I was just using you for sex.”
“You were,” said Max.
“At first.”
Tao raised his hands and gently stated, “I really don’t think she’s my true mate.”
Max’s smile widened. “I said that about Ethan too.”
“If you want the truth,” said Tao, “I was a shit to her in the beginning. If I’d had my way, she wouldn’t have been allowed to step foot on my territory. Why is that funny?” Tao had expected her uncles to be pissed at him, but both were laughing.
Ethan took another drink of his water. “When I first met Max, I wanted to kill him. I didn’t even know why. He just rubbed me the wrong way. Looking back on it, I think part of me sensed he was my true mate and felt threatened by it. Taking a mate, making that ultimate commitment, can be a scary thing. There’s no going back from something like that. It can freak a person out.”
Suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable, Tao rolled back one shoulder. “I know what you’re getting at, but I don’t think she’s my true mate.”
Max cocked his head. “You don’t sound particularly bothered by that.”
“I’m not. But things truly aren’t serious between me and Riley. And trust me when I say that’s a good thing for her.” And for him too. For Tao, flings were safe. There were no expectations to “complete” someone, no dependency, no pressure to feel something he hadn’t yet been able to feel for a female. It wasn’t that he was incapable of loving someone. He’d just never been able to feel love for someone outside his family or pack.
Max shrugged. “All right, if you say so.”
He did say so, but neither raven looked as if he believed him.
It was 3:40 a.m. when Riley woke up the next morning. Because it had taken her a while to fall asleep, she’d had three hours’ rest in all. Not great, but she’d learned not to moan about what sleep she didn’t get and just be thankful for what she did get.
Feeling ridiculously alert, she didn’t bother closing her eyes and trying to fall back asleep. Tired though she was, it wouldn’t happen, so she simply lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. Getting out of the bed without waking Tao would require some finesse. He’d proven to be a light sleeper, and, well, he wouldn’t like it when Riley tried to take her breast back.
Tao wasn’t a “cuddler”—which she loved because she didn’t like being smothered—but his hand would often end up splayed possessively over her breast, stomach, or ass while they slept. Her raven liked it.
Hell, her raven liked practically everything about him. In truth, she was becoming a little too attached to him for Riley’s liking. If Tao knew just how territorial the avian felt about him, he’d probably shit his pants and run a mile.
He’d impressed both Riley and her raven yesterday by snapping her out of what her uncles called “her zone.” One minute she’d been in that dark, emotionally sterile pit, struggling to feel anything but grief. The next she’d been absolutely outraged by the dominant hold on her throat, and the world had been a colorful place once again.
It was a world she’d paint red with the blood of the bastard who—
“What’s wrong?” he rumbled.
“I’m fine
.” And a little turned on by how deep and gravelly his voice was when he was half-asleep. “Go back to sleep.”
“Stop plotting and let your mind rest.”
“What?”
“You’re a plotter. There’s no way you aren’t planning your revenge.” He kissed her shoulder. “Let it go for now and go back to sleep.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“How long have you had insomnia?”
“As far back as I can remember.”
“Is it hard to fall asleep or just hard to stay asleep?”
“Sometimes my mind shuts down pretty fast, sometimes it takes a while to drift off. But I always wake up after a few hours.” She gave a nonchalant shrug. “I’m used to it.”
“I don’t know how you function with it. After I left my childhood pack I had . . . well, I wouldn’t call it insomnia, but there was a month when I kept waking up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep. By the end of the four weeks, my concentration was shot to shit, I looked like crap, and I was so damn edgy I bit everyone’s head off.”
“Why did you leave with Trey and the others when he was banished by his father?” Generally she didn’t ask personal questions, but since Tao had no problem asking them of her, she figured he wouldn’t mind.
“I left because I didn’t agree with the decision. When you’re a teenager, you think you’re older and wiser than you truly are. To me it didn’t feel like a big deal to leave. It felt like the most obvious thing to do; my loyalty was to Trey, and I wouldn’t follow an Alpha I couldn’t respect or trust. Trey’s father was an evil fucker.”
“Didn’t your parents try to stop you from leaving?”
“No. They understand me; they knew that leaving with Trey was something I had to do and they respected that.” Which he’d appreciated. “They later transferred to the pack that my brother mated into.”
“You have siblings?”
“Just one. An older brother, Joaquin. He’s mated, with a passel of kids. Unhappily mated, for the most part, however. I don’t see him or my parents as often as I should, if I’m honest.” Tao softened his voice as he asked, “Do you remember much about your parents?” She was quiet for so long that he thought she wouldn’t answer.
“I remember some things,” she finally said. Somehow it was easier to talk about them in the dark. “I remember my mom’s laugh. She had one of those really contagious laughs that made you want to laugh with her. She used to take lots and lots of pictures of me, like she was collecting memories. My dad . . . he loved sketching and painting and sculpting. He would shut himself in the spare room for days while he worked. And sometimes he’d leave origami animals on my pillow.” Her freshest memories were of him dying in a bed, refusing to talk to or even look at her, no matter what she did.
Sensing her mood begin to plummet, Tao said, “I once saw my dad in a dress, eating low-fat yogurt.”
She blinked. “What?”
“It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I thought it couldn’t possibly be a real memory. But I have this image in my head of me looking out my bedroom window and seeing him that way and thinking . . . Dad hates yogurt, and what’s with the dress? I mentioned it to my mom once and she laughed so hard I was worried she’d pee herself. Apparently there was one New Year’s Eve party when everyone had been drunk out of their minds, daring each other to do weird stuff.”
Riley smiled. “Your parents sound like fun people.”
“They are.”
“Ethan said my mom was a fun person. Social and positive and full of mischief. Everybody loved her. My dad was an artist and had a big personality. Very emotional. When he was happy, he was ecstatic. But when he was sad . . . when he was sad, you’d think Armageddon had come calling. That’s what others tell me, anyway.”
“Were they true mates?”
“No. Daniel came to our flock to visit a friend. He saw my mom . . . and he never left. They were apparently inseparable from day one and it didn’t take long for imprinting to start. They were good to me, from what I remember, and I refer to them as my parents”—she bit her lip—“but I think of my uncles as my parents, really. Do you think that’s bad?”
“No, not at all.” He kissed her shoulder. “Jesus, baby, your uncles have raised you since you were four. They have been parents to you. There’s nothing bad about you feeling that way. I’ll bet if you asked them, they’d say they think of you as a daughter. I like them. I like how good they are to you.” Tao combed his fingers through her hair, loving the silky feel of it. “How did you spend your years away from the flock?”
“I did a lot of traveling, saw a lot of cool places. New York. Shanghai. London. I never stayed anywhere longer than a few months. Ethan and Max came out to see me a couple of times and we always had a blast. They even came to the shelter.”
“Really?”
“They didn’t like the idea of me staying in a shelter and wanted to be sure it was as nice and safe as I described it to be. They love Makenna and Madisyn.” Madisyn was a cat shifter who worked at the shelter with Makenna.
“I’m surprised they didn’t come to our territory to check it out when you moved there.”
“They were going to, but Makenna assured them it was a great place and that I was safe there.”
“And you were trying to keep your past a secret from the pack.” He nipped her shoulder punishingly.
She flinched and gave him a mock scowl. “It wasn’t so much about keeping it a secret. It was just that some of you were inclined not to trust me when I first got there—you yourself insisted I was trouble and cunning. If you’d known I was accused of manipulating someone into shooting nine people, you might have believed it, especially since you were convinced I was banished. Greta would have used it against me, not just to sway Trey and Taryn into making me leave, but to hurt me.”
He couldn’t deny that. “And later? Why not tell us later?”
“Because confiding in people about deep stuff like that—”
“Is bonding,” he finished. “And you were afraid to bond with us. You needed to keep a nice healthy distance between yourself and the pack . . . only it didn’t work so well,” he added with a smug smile. “You might not have come to the pack looking for a place, but you found one. Would you really leave Savannah and Dexter?”
Her chest panged at the idea. “Taryn and Trey would let me visit them.”
“Why visit them when you can stay with them? Tell me you aren’t missing them like crazy. Tell me it doesn’t hurt just a little to be away from them. You’re their mom, for all intents and purposes.”
“More like the fun aunt.”
“Ethan and Max are your uncles. Does it detract from how much you care for them? Why do you think none of the couples in the pack adopted Savannah and Dexter? They’re yours. You stood guard over them the way your uncles did over you. They’ll adore you for that forever. And no matter where in the world you are, they’ll think of you as their protector and they’ll wish you were with them. But why love them from afar when you don’t have to?” He trailed kisses from her shoulder up to her neck. “You wouldn’t be happy living among humans, Riley.”
Her brows snapped together at the confident remark. “And you’re so sure of this why?”
“Living a life where you had to hide half of what you are would leave you feeling like a fake. You’d hate that. Besides, you’d miss me.”
Laughter bubbled up out of nowhere. “Miss you?”
“Admit it, things wouldn’t be the same without me around.”
“No, they’d be a hell of a lot better.” She flinched as he bit her earlobe hard. “Ow. That hurt, asshole.”
“I’ve tried not to be an asshole, but I find it pretty exhausting to pretend to be anything other than who I am. I don’t want to be fake.”
“You’d rather people hate you for who you are—how admirable of you.”
He chuckled. “Isn’t it, though?” Combing his fingers through her hair again, he hel
d it up toward the ceiling. “I used to prefer blonde hair, and I have no idea why. But your hair . . . the way the light hits it, making it look any color from blue to black to purple . . . perfect.” His wolf was in complete agreement, wanted to roll around in it. Tao spoke into her ear. “Know where I want to see it? Spread over my thighs while you suck me off.”
“I’m worried by how hard you find it to express yourself.”
He chuckled again. Flipping the covers back, he braced his weight on his elbow as he looked his fill at her deliciously naked body. His cock, already thick and heavy, throbbed almost painfully. “You are seriously fucking gorgeous. You know that, don’t you?”
“You said I’m not your type,” she reminded him.
He draped himself over her. “You’re every guy’s type, baby. Don’t listen to me, I talk shit.”
“Are you talking shit now?”
“Nope.” He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and gave it a sharp nip. He wanted to bite and mark every inch of her. Wanted other males to know she was taken. He cupped her breast and flicked her nipple with his thumb, liking how she arched into him. “I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to sink deep inside you and fill you up.” He closed his mouth around her nipple and suckled hard. “In a little while.”
She frowned at him as he curled his tongue around her other nipple. “What do you mean, in a little while?” Her voice came out a little shaky. “Why not now? Now sounds better.”
“I want your taste in my mouth while I fuck you.”
Oh. Well then. “I supposed you’d better get to it—time’s a-ticking.”
Tao licked and bit his way down her body, leaving little marks of possession everywhere. Settling between her thighs, he parted her wet folds with his thumbs. The scent of her need shot right to his cock, and a growl rumbled out of him. “So wet.” He slid his tongue between her folds, lapping up all the cream there. Her taste was his very own aphrodisiac, as though her pussy had been made just for him. He shouldn’t like the idea, but he did. “You make me greedy.”
“For what?”
“Everything I can get from you.” He used one finger to scoop up some of her cream and, locking his gaze with hers, rubbed his wet finger over the rim of her ass. “I want this.”
Fierce Obsessions Page 11
