by Laura Wylde
The imps had returned. They were bouncing through the trees and swinging down, grabbing the rock creatures. When they had one, they crushed it with a hammer and dropped it into burlap bags. The bags were nearly as large as the imps but didn’t seem to slow the wicked, lightening-swift, little critters down. They trilled happily with each catch, tossed it around like a ball, cracked it open and dropped it into the sack. The terrified rock things were hightailing it into the woods as fast as they could.
Once the burlap bags were full and there were no more scuttling rocks to be found, the imps leapt and danced, and tossed dead rock creatures at each other. They sat down to eat a few, burping with satisfaction when they were finished. They whispered, giggled, then pulled down their pants to wiggle their naked butts at us.
The dog said something to them in a language I couldn’t understand, and the imps answered back by making stupid faces and doing a few lewd things with their hands and private parts. She barked again. One of the imps waggled his penis at me and a female imp drew up her blouse, but they all picked up their bags and ambled off into the forest.
“What were those things?” I asked shuddering. I could still feel the ant-legs crawling over me.
“Myrmekes,” said Reuben. “Poseidon probably put them there to guard the trident from his enemies. “Good thing he didn’t use any of the big ones or we’d be history.”
The dog whined and placed her head on my knee. I patted her and kissed the top of her head. “The dog says it’s a good thing you didn’t kill the imps. Myrmekes are their favorite food.”
Reuben was scratching around in his beard as though a myrmeke was still hiding there. “I suppose,” he said, hitching up his pants that were kept around his thick waist by suspenders. “The imps turned out to be good for something.”
“Vulgar little devils,” added Kazan agreeably. He followed Reuben back to the hole. I had to suppress a smile as I watched them. Every day, Kazan was becoming more of a Reuben mini-me, despite his punk rocker appearance. There were worse role models in the universe. There are times I think Reuben has the wisdom of a two-thousand-year-old sphinx. Other times, he’s as simple as a salt-bitten sailor. As marooned as I was in this strange dimension of time and space, I wasn’t about to challenge any of their academic or experience levels. I was the student. They were the teachers — even Kazan.
Kazan squatted down, hands on his knees, then stood up excitedly. “All of you! You’ve got to see this!”
With the rock ant attack, I had almost forgotten what we had come here to do. My mind still felt scrambled from the horror of those multi-legged rocks smothering me under their sheer numbers. I realized with a flash; this was it! This was the object of our quest. I could see the brilliant glow from where I sat. I stumbled over, spellbound by the light, so giddy with excitement, I trembled.
The hole was much larger now that all the rock creatures had left. Cradled four feet into the ground was the Golden Trident of Poseidon. The handle was covered with ornate inscriptions. The tongs came to arrow-shaped points. It shone like a hundred suns. Together, David and Reuben lifted the giant trident — it must have been twelve feet long and eight inches thick – and laid it reverently on a canvas tarp. Unable to contain himself, Kazan burst into dragon form, whooped, and flew triumphantly above the trees. Almost as quickly, he dived down and changed back soberly. “Do you think your dog will guide us out of the forest?”
The dog yipped. “She said….” I hesitated. “She will guide us out of the forest on one condition. We have to take her with us to our world.”
“I don’t know if we can do that,” said David while he wrapped the trident. “She’s not of our world.”
The dog nudged me. “Why not?” I asked. “She’s a dog. An ordinary dog.”
“An ugly dog. The ugliest dog I ever saw.”
The dog hung her head and tucked her tail between her legs. “Hey!” I told him. “She has feelings! The dog was abandoned here. She has nobody. She’s lonely.”
David looked at the dog and looked at me. He tried to scowl although he wasn’t too successful. “Fine,” he said. “You want a dog. You can have a dog. Too bad a goddess isn’t here to turn her into a poodle.”
I rubbed the dog’s head and found a piece of jerky in my backpack to give her. “I don’t want a poodle. This dog suits me just fine.”
10
Reuben
I’m an old guy in human years, not so old in dragon years. When it comes to women, I’ve seen them all. I was just as green as Kazan when I got my first taste. She was a Romanian gypsy who knew every parlor trick for relieving a man of his money. Oh, she was beautiful, with long, waving black hair and eyes full of mystery. I was enlisted in the navy, receiving a petty officer’s pay. I spent every spare dime I had on her, but it wasn’t enough. The last I saw of her; she was walking away with a banker.
I learned about women and they learned about me. Women liked me. As a youngster, I wasn’t bad to look at — six feet tall, lanky, with sandy hair. I stayed young looking for a long time, which is also a dragon trait. Kazan is thirty-three years old in human years. When he reaches fifty, he will still look like he’s twenty. That’s the age when not only human women think you are cute, every blamed female shapeshifter and sea creature finds you adorable.
I didn’t mind, but it became better when I got grizzled. Women like grizzled men. They like weather-beaten faces, squint eyes and hefty six-packs. It’s not about adoration anymore. It’s about protection, feeling safe. I had them all pegged. I had them all down — until I met Macy.
I’d like to say I knew there was something different about her from the start, but that’s not true. She was a beautiful woman, alone at a flooded cove, examining things not meant for human eyes. She was an annoyance that had to be entertained until we could get down to the real business of chasing sea monsters. But one thing happened after another like connecting the dots for a picture. If she had not rescued the starfish, she would not have received the gift. If she had not given Hecles the fish, we would not have found Aphrodite’s domain. If we had not listened to her dog, we would be dead. I haven’t been to a seer in a long time, but I believe in destiny. Macy is our destiny.
It was a pitiful dog, but Macy wanted it and it did lead us out of the forest. Once we were onboarding the Dragon Queen though, we had another problem. A dog’s sniffer doesn’t make a good compass on the ocean. We would have to sail blindly until we found the debris from the Nautilus Palace. What a terrible waste to see those pieces broken and floating. Sure, the gods could wave their wands or whatever it is they did, and the pieces would all come back together, but they wouldn’t be antiquities anymore. They would be made new. It felt like destroying the ghosts of your ancestors.
There was no wind, no sun, only the endless peach-colored sky and turquoise ocean. There was a difference, though. It had fish now, lots of fish. With the fish, there were more seal-like, bulgy things chasing them. One doesn’t ask the why and wherefore in a world made by the gods. They fashion each world with its own rules. You can spend your life learning calculus and physics and you still won’t have a consistent formula for all the things they do.
We followed the daisy chain islands until they thinned out to the last straggling points, with the big sea in front of them. I fretted over the pilot’s wheel. If only there was something to give me directions. I couldn’t even navigate the distance by hours or discern whether I was bearing too far left or too far right. I heard Macy clatter up the steps, the dog behind her. From the cabin, you could see farther, but the view was exactly as it was below-deck. She rested her head worriedly on my shoulder. “How are you navigating?”
“I’m going for straight ahead, lassie.” I watched a school of fish diving in front of me. “I’m thinking them fish might be going to the same place.”
“Why would they be going there?”
When she was close like that, I felt stronger. I felt I could do anything. I could conquer this world, make it show
me all its secrets. “Because fish like shoals. They like rock cropping. They like getting under things.”
Her voice trembled. “And if they circle around back toward the islands?”
I gripped the wheel tightly, making sure it didn’t swerve to either side. “Straight ahead, lassie. I’m going straight ahead.”
She stayed with me, keeping me company, her head on my shoulder. “The dog wants to thank you for the chicken sandwich you gave her.”
I chewed the end of my cigar and felt the sweet liquid massage my fangs. “I didn’t give it to her. I set it down. I was going to pick it back up some time, but she took it.”
The dog yipped at her and she laughed. “Is that why you patted her on the head?”
Damned dog. “You females are all alike, aren’t you? You’ve gotta wag your tongues about every little thing.”
She giggled again and kissed my neck. “I love you, Reuben. You know that, don’t you?”
It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I brushed her away. “Here, now. Don’t be distracting me. I can’t veer off to the left or the right.”
“I’m sorry.” Still, she kissed my neck one more time. “I’m sending David up to relieve you. You’re tired out.”
“I can manage,” I grumbled but I didn’t stop her. I felt my tendons had been nicked short and wires had wrapped around my arms and neck and squeezed. What I needed was a light cocktail and a snooze in the hammock.
She tripped back down the stairs like she was on holiday. A short time later, David trudged up the stairs and stood beside me. “Boss says I should take over a while.”
I kept my eyes fixed on the school. “She’s the boss now?”
I could hear him scratching away at his prickly beard. We should be able to clock the hours by the way his beard grows. “I guess so. Is that the way it works? You know, we never did discuss pecking order.”
“That’s true,” I said. “It’s always just been me and you training the young-uns. I reckon she’ll bring us some order. As I recall, women do that.”
David had taken over the pilot’s wheel, keeping his eyes glued to the horizon. “Is that a fact? I guess that explains why we never thought much about it. Maintaining order, that is.”
“Yep. It’s up to the women. Straight ahead, captain. Straight ahead. I’m following the school but if it veers off, don’t go after it. We’re going straight ahead.”
If I weren’t bone-tired, maybe the way Macy was taking over would have bothered me. Hell, I can’t even keep her out of the kitchen anymore. She makes us wash our clothes and keep our blankets aired. She tells us what we can and cannot kill. And now, she is ordering rest breaks and alternative navigators at the wheel. What the little woman would come up with next, who knows, yet I didn’t care. Living with her was nicer than not living with her. That’s all that mattered.
There was an empty hammock swinging gently with the movements of the boat. I tumbled into it and fell asleep instantly. There were no dreams, just a restful quiet. The boat’s engines and the chatter of voices in the background were a lullaby. They fell away. The dog jumped up in my lap, curled around and laid her head on my chest. I patted it. In my dreams, I was still patting her, telling her she was a good dog and a pretty dog, even though she is bony and motley. Your dreams don’t care. The tension melted away.
Slowly, I swam back to the surface of consciousness. Kazan was shaking my arm. “The fish have veered. Do we stay on course?”
I rubbed the last of bit of sleep from my eyes and swung over the side of the hammock. “Straight ahead. Stay straight ahead.” I propelled Kazan up the steps of the cabin and shambled to look over starboard. I had to see for myself what they were doing, where they were going.
The fish had taken a sharp turn but had not doubled back toward the islands. Instead, they began fanning out until the group had dispersed far into the sea. Then, I understood. Behind them was a large pod of pink, floppy seals. By scattering, the individual chance for survival was greater. Who said fish don’t think?
Kauris and Macy were sitting on the side of the boat, their feet dangling over the edge. Kauris held Macy around the waist while she bent over at an insane angle. I hurried over. “What in the world are you doing?” I asked Kauris, as Macy was practically outside the boat.
“Keeping her from falling in,” he answered.
Macy was making chittering sounds that apparently did not include translations in English. I flopped down beside Kauris. “Is there a reason she has to hang off the side of the boat?”
“She’s calling Hecles.”
“Ah, Hecles.” I sank my head between my knees and pulled down my cap. “Why would that oversized powder puff want to visit us now? He’s got a full smorgasbord and a zillion friends.”
“Macy thinks he will.”
I find it hard to talk with Kauris. He doesn’t give his opinion much on anything and usually goes along with what a person says without too many questions. Sometimes, I wonder if there is anything he really cares about. Then he will do something that is intensely loyal or brave and I know, he cares a great deal, just doesn’t express it.
“Are we on a straight course?” I asked.
He shrugged. “We’re on a course. I think you shouldn’t worry too much about it. Everything has a habit of coming back around in on itself sooner or later.”
“Chtt, chtt, chtt,” said Macy. I twisted a bit of seaweed that had managed to cling to the top of the boat.
“Do you think in a place where there is no compass, no day and night, time stands still? That for as long as it feels we have been here, when we come out on the other side, it will be no time at all?”
“Or it could be the opposite.” He grunted and shifted his weight. “We could come out to discover we had been gone for years.”
“Well, aren’t you a lot of fun.”
I sat darkly, my chin in my hand, puffing on my cigar. “Chtt, chtt, chtt,” said Macy. An answering “chtt” echoed and a whiskered head popped up out of the water. I was so glad to see the bugger, I wanted to hold his furry cheeks in both hand and pop a wet, smacking kiss right on the mouth.
The two talked with one another like old friends, Marcy giggled and slapped her hands together while Heles slapped the water. Kauris squirmed and gripped her tighter to hold her in place. She turned toward me. “Hecles says he will help us, but you have to give something to him.”
I scowled. “I already gave him all our fish.”
“He wants a cigar.”
“What? You can’t smoke a cigar in the water. He’ll ruin it.”
“He still wants a cigar.”
Why me? Why always me? First the dog, now the pink, fluffy seal. I grumbled to myself until I found a partially smoked, only partially chewed cigar and handed it to her. She handed it back. “He wants you to light it.”
“Oh, for the love of Minerva.” I clicked my lighter, took a few puffs and handed the lit cigar to her. Kauris’ long arms strained as she bent way over to hand the cigar. The seal stretched its neck and balanced on his fanned flippers to take it in his chubby little hands. Once he had it, he flopped gently on his back, cigar in his mouth, and paddled in front of the helm. I watched in amazement as he withdrew it now and then to blow smoke rings.
“He wants us to follow him,” explained Macy. She had finally allowed Kauris to pull her back inside the boat. She steadied herself against him and flexed her muscles. “He would have gotten here sooner but he was at a seaweed luncheon.”
I’m sure seaweed lunches have a high priority in pink seal circles. He was with us now, puffing like a locomotive ahead of the boat, so I guess that’s all that mattered. Boss lady and Kauris went up the ladder to tell David to follow the cigar-puffing seal. I poured a cup of coffee from the Bunsen Burner and sat down with the dog. “See? That’s what I’m talking about. A man doesn’t get to decide nothing for himself around a woman. She tells you when to take a nap. She puts the coffee on without asking if you want some. She sets up second navig
ators. Who sets up second navigators? Me. I’m the one who’s always done it.”
The dog curled up at my feet and I found a stale cookie to toss at it. “Now you. You’re as female as it gets. You’re making out like I’ve got a soft spot. Well, I don’t. It’s just that you blamed women are so bossy and I can’t get over it. I can’t get over it at all.” The dog yawned.
I reached down to scratch her head. “I knew you would see it that way.”
No matter how bewitching the boss, you can’t keep an old sea dog away from the wheel for long. I’d had my nap. Given the dog a good scratch. I got up and stretched. Boss lady came clattering down the stairs. “Not yet. Not yet. You and David need something to eat. I’ve already got biscuits and gravy made. All I have to do is heat them up.”
David was already sitting down, with a wooden crate in front of him for a table. “Wait a gosh-durned minute!” I shouted, leaping up in alarm. “Who’s piloting the boat?”
“Kauris is piloting.”
“Kauris is piloting? Kauris! The Dragon Queen ain’t gonna like it.”
“The Dragon Queen is fine with it. I talked to her.”
“You can’t talk to the boat.”
She shoved a plate of warmed-up biscuits and gravy in front of mine. “Well, I say I can. The boat doesn’t mind. All we have to do is follow Hecles through the calmest sea possible. Now, will you eat? You can stand at that wheel until David’s beard falls to his knees once you have eaten.”
David was shovelling the food in as fast as it would go. I gazed at him gravely and asked between bites, “is this a situation?”
He looked over at Macy, spiffing up the kitchen and making fresh coffee. “I don’t think so. It’s, hmmm. Kind of homey.”
Those biscuits were too damned good. I mauled down four before I could speak again. “I don’t think we’ve ever gone homey before, have we?”
“I don’t think we have. Not since leaving our nests.”
