by Angel Devlin
I sent Cal a text.
I'm in the pub if you're still around?
It wasn't long before I received a reply.
I'm with Jules. We're on our way.
Great. I'm hiding towards the rear corner wearing a black ballcap.
Cal, Milo, and Juliet came to join me. Cal slid in at the side of me and Milo and Juliet sat opposite me making me feel like I'd just took the stand at a murder trial and they were the prosecution.
"Where are the other two?"
"Silas had appointments he couldn't change, and Finn said he wanted to be on his own. He's gone back to the job he was working on. Dad went to his room. I was with Juliet and we messaged Milo, thought he might be ready for a pint."
"Or thirty-three." Milo said. "Speaking of which. Cal, go and get us all a drink."
I knew what Milo was doing. Removing the one who'd try to mediate.
"Mine's a pint of Landlord," I told Cal with a look that I hoped said I'd deal with any fallout from my other siblings. He went off to the bar.
"You've got some fucking explaining to do," Milo growled out.
"She told you what happened. What more is there to say?"
"She's a lying, deceitful bitch," he added, "though right now I’m not sure how trustworthy you are either."
"I was damned if I did or didn't because she came and found me and not any of you, meaning that she'd set me up as the fall guy whatever came next. Up until this morning, I thought I was being blackmailed. I'm as shocked as the rest of you by what's she's said."
"Except you're not, because you knew she was alive and her whereabouts," Juliet said quietly. Juliet said nothing quietly and so my gaze swept over her closely. She was clearly in shock. "I hated her. I still feel hatred. But what if she was a victim? First to drug misuse and now to the cancer? It's left me with questions that have no clear answer and for that reason I currently hate her even more. I don't know what to do."
"Me neither." I replied honestly. "I've resented her for the last eight months, blackmailing me into paying for her to live in New York. When I spoke to her or saw her, she was awful. Acted like a money-grabbing, blackmailing cow. I still don't know where she went after she left Eli fourteen years ago. It's not been a case of I've been hiding her away from you all. It's a case of I've been funding her accommodation and having as little to do with her as possible."
"You still should have told us," Milo said, as Cal returned with our drinks on a tray.
"Maybe. The thing is, Milo, you can berate me for my choices, but it changes nothing of what's happening right now. That's where your focus needs to be. On what you plan on doing now she's back."
"I plan on ignoring her, like she's ignored us."
"Well that's your choice and it's one I unfortunately didn't get to make. The same as she's currently living in my house."
"Turf her out then."
"Milo, just because you don't want to see her doesn't mean the others don't, and I fully expect Dad to want to talk to her once he's had a chance to think things through. I hate her for what she put us through, but I can't hate someone enough not to do my best to make their last days comfortable. If that means I have to have her in my life for a few more months or years, so be it. That's how I'm feeling right now anyway."
Cal took a sip of his pint. "None of you can make any choices as to how you're going to handle this right now. It's too raw. All I'm hearing is shock, anger, and resentment. I know because I'm feeling it too. We need time, and Mum needs to understand that. It's not a case of she says she's dying, and we all rally around and forgive her for all her sins. I for one will be going to talk to her. I have a lot to ask her. To be honest, I think of more questions by the second."
"Yeah, I want to talk to her too," Jules added.
"You can come around to mine anytime you want to talk to her," I told them. "I'll give you all her phone number so you can contact her when you're ready."
"Oh, Lisa's here," Jules said. "What was that all about anyway? How come you ended up with Lisa renting your house? I wasn't aware you knew her all that well?"
Here came the announcement that was the one I'd wanted to arrive with.
"I've actually known Lisa a long time. Like… ten years. I know we're already unravelling one secret, but I need you to keep another."
Three sets of eyes bored into me.
"Lisa and I have had an on-again, off—"
"again relationship for years." Callum finished my sentence. "It was you. She was talking about you."
"When?" I asked.
"On our date."
“Oh yes, the date she agreed to the last time I was over here.”
"Don't worry. There was zero attraction between us. We decided we were friends. But why didn’t you bloody say something back then? I wouldn’t have asked her."
“I don’t know. Maybe because we’d just always been a secret.”
"Anyway, what were you going to say?" Juliet leaned forward.
"Things went wrong. I made the wrong choices thinking they were the right ones. But lately I’ve realised that I've been fooling myself. I'm madly in love with Lisa McKenzie and I always have been. I need to win her back."
"Oh my fucking god," Juliet’s eyes went wide as she looked from Lisa to me and back again.
"You mustn't breathe a word." I placed my hand on Juliet's arm. "I know you're all friends now, but I mean it. I need to do this properly. She's given me so many chances. She's no reason to believe I'm not just acting like I want her again."
"But this time you're acting on love," Juliet said. "It must be the shock of the day because even my cold, black heart is beating in tune with a love song for you."
"And what song would that be, sis?" Milo asked her.
"Wherever I Lay My Hat (That's My Home). It's an old eighties number.” She tugged on my ballcap. “Time to put that down somewhere more permanent maybe?" she said raising a brow.
"That's the hope," I replied honestly.
Chapter Four
Lisa
I arrived for my evening shift, hung my coat on the peg and put my bag in the locker and went out to the bar to say hi to Geoff who was out front with me that evening. There was also the kitchen staff and a couple of youngsters we had to help wait tables. I’d be here until half-twelve.
"I have major gossip, Lisa." Geoff cornered me by the tills. "He told me himself, because he said the news is about to break soon, but the Waites family's mother has returned."
"What?" My mouth dropped open. "When?"
"Ezra didn't say, but Rose, one of their neighbours, apparently saw a woman get out of a taxi this morning with Ezra and she had luggage. So, putting two and two together, I'd say he found her."
Ezra had brought his mother back with him? He'd found her? The man had not said one word about this to me. Despite our shared history, despite the fact I'd been there for him when his heart broke over his mother's betrayal, despite the fact he'd had me looking after his home for the last few months.
I wasn't important enough to him. I never had been and I never would be.
"Anyway, he's over there in the corner with some of the others. I guess they've a lot to discuss."
My eyes followed Geoff's pointed finger and sure enough he sat there, his ballcap pulled down over his forehead while he talked.
I watched as he placed his hand on Juliet's arm. They spoke and then she tugged on his ballcap. Whatever the fallout about his mother, the Waites always had each other's backs. Turning my own back on the people in the rear corner, I focused on my workload and started pulling pints.
"Three pints of beer and a double Jack Daniels please, Lisa."
I'd noticed him get up from his table, despite willing myself not to look over and I knew he was coming to me, not Geoff.
"No problem. Anything else?" I kept my face poker straight.
"Just an idea of which evening you might be free for me to take you out on a date."
I froze in place and my heart thudded so damn hard
in my chest I thought the pub floor might vibrate and shake all the stacked glasses. After gathering my wits about me, I busied myself pouring the drinks and ringing the prices up on the till.
"Thirteen pounds and ninety pence please."
"Oh and whatever you want," he added. And there was the problem. I was always an afterthought.
"I don't want anything, but thanks."
He held his card against the reader until it beeped.
"Do you want a receipt?"
"Yes, and a date. A receipt for the tax man and a date for me please?"
"I can get you a receipt." I printed the paper off and handed it over.
"We need to talk." He’d lowered his voice, but it was no less direct than if he’d barked at me like I was a lazy Army recruit.
I allowed my gaze to meet his. Those blue orbs were full of determination. I hoped my own looked the same so he’d believe my words. "I don't think we do, Ezra. I mean it's going to be me asking why over the last months while I looked after your house and we swapped friendly messages, you didn't tell me about your mum."
"It's complicated." His mouth downturned.
"When isn't it, Ezra? It's always complicated." I sighed. "It's been ten whole years and I'm done."
"You don't mean that. I mean I'm actually back. I'm moving back. I want us to make a go of things."
I laugh-huffed. "Oh, Ezra. You can't just turn up after all these years and think I'm going to fall at your feet." I realised then that that was exactly what he'd assume because it was what I'd always done. "I'm not the girl you left behind. I'm a grown woman. Now I need to serve other customers so take your drinks and move on, please."
His eyes narrowed.
"This isn't over," he challenged.
"I think it is, Ezra," I answered, because I had too many memories of feeling hope about my future with Ezra that had left me broken hearted. I needed someone who put me first without any hesitation, and for that reason, even though it would break my heart all over again, I had to place Ezra in my past, once and for all.
Friday 30 September 2011
I'd been so nervous all day. I couldn't believe I was going on a date with Ezra Waite! I arranged to meet him on the corner of a road a few streets down because neither of us wanted George to know we were going on a date. My mother was the only one who knew the truth.
I’d not known what to wear so I'd gone for a pair of bright red cut-off trousers and a black and white polka dot gypsy-style top that hung across my shoulders. Paired with a small kitten heel I could walk fine. My hair was up in a messy bun and I wore what I hoped was sexy smoky eyes, but I’d deliberately left my lips bare because I hoped Ezra would kiss them a lot.
He pulled up in his second-hand, black Ford-Fiesta. I jumped inside, instantly smelling his signature aftershave and realising this was really happening. I was in a car, in close proximity to Ezra Waite and he was taking me on a date.
"You look incredible," he stated, his eyes looking me over from top to toe. His voice came out all low and husky.
My eyes returned the favour, sweeping over Ezra’s body. He was wearing a grey shirt, open at the neck; and a pair of dark trousers. He looked amazing, but all my horny brain could think was we were wearing too much.
"So I did some internet research and I booked us into an Italian that the reviewers say is amazing. Does that sound good to you?"
I nodded; it seemed I'd lost my ability to speak.
"Great." He indicated to pull out from the road, and we were on our way.
The food was indeed amazing.
The company even better.
When we walked out of the restaurant and Ezra said he'd take me home, the few glasses of wine I'd had made me brave.
"I don't want to go home, Ez. Is there a hotel nearby?"
Ezra spluttered and I took it as a rejection. I felt my cheeks redden and then I wanted the ground to swallow me up. Shit. He hadn't enjoyed himself like I had.
"Sorry. Forget I said it. Take me home." I stared back down at the floor.
Ezra grabbed my hand and steered me into a shop doorway around the corner, out of view of most passers-by.
His hand came up to my face and he tilted my chin up with his fingers, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were heavy-lidded with desire. My core clenched in response.
"Lisa, there's nothing I want more than to take you into a bedroom and make you scream my name, but this is our first date. There's no rush, no pressure, okay? I want you to be sure."
"I'm already sure, Ezra. Do you want to feel how sure I am?" I uttered, desperation seeping into my tone as my sentence trailed off in a whisper of want and need.
I saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed.
"Then message your mum that you're staying out. Tell her you drank too much and I'm going to look after you."
I laughed. "She's not stupid."
"Yeah, but it would make me feel better if you said that, rather than Ezra Waite wants to rock my world."
I messaged my mum, and we found a hotel.
There was a chill to the air in the hotel room as we walked inside, the air conditioning set too low. I shivered and Ezra noticed. “We don’t have to do this. We can just sleep.”
“I’m just cold from the room. I need you to warm me up.” I looked up at him through my lashes, knowing what I wanted from him but feeling overwhelmed by the fact my deepest desires seemed about to come true.
“Oh I think there’s no doubt that the heat level is going to rise in here soon, Lisa, and I don’t mean because of this.” He altered the aircon settings.
He pulled me into his arms and slowly stripped me of all my clothes. He let his own fall to the floor and then we were in each other’s arms, kissing and naked. These were all new sensations to me because I’d saved myself for the right guy. That right guy was here now. Always in my mind and my fantasies that guy had been Ezra Waite, and now it was about to become a reality.
My breasts were pushed up against his warm chest and I could feel his hardness between us as we kissed. He broke off and then picked me up, walking us over to the bed and laying me down gently. He moved to go in his wallet and I climbed under the covers.
When Ezra returned and got under those covers with me, my heart leapt as I saw the hunger in his gaze. All there for me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me over and over.
“I’ve not done this before,” I admitted in a whisper.
“Okay,” he whispered back between kisses.
He spent so long kissing my body, trailing fingers up and down my skin, whispering words in my ear of how he couldn’t wait to be inside me. Those same fingers trailed between my legs making me wet and wanting so that when he eventually rolled on the condom and situated himself between my thighs, I was no longer apprehensive of losing my V-card but couldn’t wait. After the initial expected discomfort as he pushed within me, my body welcomed him. The sensations becoming a hunger for everything Ezra could give me.
We were lost in each other and as I shattered around him, Ezra cried out my name as he found his own climax.
He pulled me into his arms, and we laid there catching our breath.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Never better,” I replied.
“Same,” he whispered in my ear. We fell asleep in each other’s arms.
We carried on meeting in secret. It became increasingly difficult for us to meet as Ezra's part in Westside started because what was intended to be a side character changed when people took notice of Ezra Waite's talent and his handsome face.
He landed a bigger contract and the press started taking an interest.
And the Ezra who had never really said anything about his mother's disappearance found his mother's abandonment made front page news.
It was the beginning of the end of the first act of Lisa and Ezra.
January 2012
Ezra paced the hotel room that had become our treasured place to hang around and make love in. But this time he was filled
with rage. I’d never seen him like this, and it scared me.
"My mother has done it again. She screwed up my life when she walked out and now she's here again. Her fucking shitshow of walking out on us is now what I'm going to be known for, instead of my acting." He punched the wall, clutching his knuckles in his hand afterward.
"Ezra, stop. It will blow over and you'll be back on the front page for how amazing you are."
He scoffed and I didn't like the way he looked at me. His dismissal and disappointment. "No it won't. The press don't want success stories. They want front page scandal and the next thing will be they'll find out about us and probably decide I've been fucking you since you were a minor or something. They're toxic. I should have known I couldn't actually stay happy."
I walked up to him. "Ezra, stop this."
His gaze met mine. "I'm calling a taxi for you, Lisa. I'm so sorry, but I think it's best we cool things, just until the press attention dies down."
"NO," I bellowed. "I don't care what they say. Let them make up whatever stories they want. I. Don't. Fucking. Care."
"Well I do." His voice lowered. "I care that I don't want you negatively affected by my past. I care that your parents and your brother wouldn't thank me for involving you. I care that it might affect my career and that my bosses at Westside might not be too appreciative of this negative attention. So, for now. Just for a short time, I need us to lie low. To take a break."
"J- just for a short time?" I checked, relief flooding through me that he didn't completely want to end things.
"Yes. Just until it blows over and then maybe we can tell your dad and George and not meet in hotel rooms that make it appear seedier than it is."
That hurt. He'd called our dream place seedy. Ezra was changing right in front of my eyes and I didn't like it at all.
"Okay, phone me the taxi," I said.
February 2012
A month passed where all we did was text, and then he messaged to ask to meet me. I was filled with joy. The pause on our relationship was over at last. We could start again.
