by Angel Devlin
A flash of memory came then. A hotel room. That was it. Just a hotel room. I smacked my mattress in fury. I needed more.
When nothing else came, I gritted my teeth and opened the magazine until I found the article. I looked at the other photos first. Ezra on the red carpet alone. A couple more of us together. Then I began reading.
After years of speculation about his private life, the award winning actor EZRA WAITE invites us into his new home to tell us about why he'd always kept his private life private, and why he's now decided to open up.
By Belinda James.
I've followed the career of Ezra Waite since his meteoric but short-lived career on the soap opera Westside. Hollywood noticed what the viewers had seen, and it hadn't been long before Ezra was the lead in movies, winning a Bafta in 2017 for his role in the military saga Frenzy. Yet despite appearing on the red carpet with a bevvy of beauties and rumoured romances with several leading ladies, Ezra has never before publicly commented on his private life. So I'm here to ask him what's changed?
Ezra: It's quite simple really. Over the years there has always been one woman for me, but our personal circumstances, especially my career, have meant that we'd always ended up pressing pause. It's been like our very own soap opera over the years, with cliffhanger endings that we've come back to for further episodes.
So how come things didn't work out before?
Ezra: Mainly because I was a fool. I was young. Not that that excuses anything really, but I focused on my career. Being around Willowfield has never been easy for me because of my family background. I've used the US as a means of escaping my past.
And by your past you're talking about when your mother walked out on you and your siblings. You were what, seventeen?
Ezra: Yes, and there have been ongoing issues with that. Recently, our mother re-connected with us again. I found it easier to become the character I played on screen and live as them. Avoided my real life. I've wasted years, I know that now, but the past is the past, right? I have to focus on the future [Ezra squeezes Lisa's hand at this and they share a loving touch].
So, Lisa. For over ten years you have either loved or loathed Ezra?
Lisa: [giggles] Yes, at times the thought of voodoo dolls crossed my mind. But like Ezra has said, we were young and there were things in our pasts that meant things didn't work out back then. But we've found our way back together again.
Ezra: [interrupts] For good this time.
Lisa: It's been a long road, but it's led us to now and we're just so very happy.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I read the words. The rest of the interview carried on in the same vein. A very much in love couple’s hopes for the future. And yet, I knew that right now all those hopes had been ruined, driven off the road by a cruel twist of fate.
But I did now feel closer to the Ezra I’d met in the hospital room.
Because while I might not remember him, I could now see just how important to me he was.
I took a few moments to collect myself and then I walked downstairs. I’d not ventured downstairs much at all since I’d come home from the hospital and my parents both looked up at me from their seats on the sofa in surprise.
"Is everything okay?" My dad leapt up out of his seat.
"I'm fine." I went to sit in the chair. "I had one very small flashback of a hotel room. I must have stopped in it some time. I don't remember anything else, but that's something, right?"
My mum's eyes went glassy. "It is. That's really hopeful."
"And I read the article. I still don't remember, but I want to see Ezra now, Mum. But not here. I know you'll be worrying like crazy, but I want to meet him at the house where it all happened outside. I feel like I need to see it."
Mum looked at my dad.
"Only if we come with you, darling," he said. "Whether we come into the house with you or sit in the car outside, I want to be able to take you straight home if needed."
I nodded. "Okay."
"Tomorrow," Mum insisted. "I'll contact him. You've read the magazine today and had the flashback. You rest some more. I'll arrange it for tomorrow."
"Okay. Well maybe if I get wrapped up, I could sit on the back step for a bit. Get some fresh air."
"I could do with some too. Let's do that. It's actually quite mild out today. I can show you the daffodils and crocuses that have come through. Got some lovely little miniature daffs," Dad said.
We went out into the garden and my dad wrapped my arm through his. "I know we're being overprotective and you're a grown woman, but the accident was a big shock to us. It's made us think a lot too. We're going to sell the place abroad and get a nicer place over here. Spend more time with our grandchildren, on the things that are most important—family."
"But you love it in Tenerife."
"And we can still spend time there, but maybe we can all go, or we'll go for shorter periods of time." He began to break down. "That flight home felt like the longest hours of my life. We had no idea what we were coming back to face."
I stood and hugged him. After a moment he rubbed his eyes and began talking about the daffodils. "Few more than last year isn't there?"
I nodded. I didn't have the heart to remind him that I couldn't remember there ever having been any in that part of the garden before.
But just like the crocuses pushing out of the earth, maybe my memories could bloom slowly, and bring a smile back to our faces.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ezra
Not seeing Lisa for a week had killed me. I understood her mother's concern, but I felt like I was being pushed away. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go before I started demanding to see her. In the meantime, I'd thrown myself into all my other projects. Violet had been in agreement to taking over the whole house, although it had taken me some time to get her to accept my part of the house as a gift. I could see why she gave Milo a good run for his money. So with that and with the final offer I wanted to make my mother, I'd spent a lot of time dealing with my legal team.
Plus, I was pushing for our house sale to go through as quickly as possible.
The police had told me that the woman involved in the accident was undergoing psychiatric evaluation and was likely to be in hospital for some time. I just wanted to know she was nowhere near us. It'd had made up my mind anyway. Ezra Waite was hanging up his acting hat. I had no further need to hide myself in other characters. No need to be away from the people I loved for long periods of time. No, it was time to enjoy life and the money in the bank. And I had ideas for the future. Ideas I wouldn't mention out loud because I didn't want to put pressure on Lisa if she did come back to me; no, when she came back to me.
I thought we could one day own our own restaurant. In a few years time when no one really remembered who Ezra Waite was, when new up-and-coming stars had taken my place, and if Lisa had followed her dreams of becoming a chef. But to be truthful, as long as Lisa and I were together, until death do us part, I didn't care what we did. I'd follow that woman to the ends of the earth.
Then my phone rang and her mother asked if they could come to visit.
The rest of that morning felt like an eternity. It was just after twelve when a knock came to the door. There were no longer any press hanging around. In the end I'd got injunctions to clear the street, rather than move to a hotel. I'd wanted to stay put until Lisa came back to me.
I opened the door and she stood there, smiling shyly at me from the doorstep.
"Come in." I grinned.
She looked around the house as she walked in and it was so transparent that she was hoping to recognise something. Her sigh was audible when she clearly didn't.
"My parents are waiting outside in the car. They don't want to leave my side, but I wanted to talk to you in private."
"Oh?" If she thought she'd come here to end things, she could think again.
"Yeah, is it okay if I sit down?"
"This is our house. You don't have to ask to sit down."
"Th
at's so weird hearing you say that, seeing this older Ezra. My heart still fizzes like a teenager when I see you. Like you're my secret crush."
I strutted a little as I walked over to the chair to sit down. "Well, that’s good to hear."
"I had a small flashback, just of a hotel room, but I'm hoping that it means it might come back. All of it."
My heart leapt at this announcement. But I moved off the sofa and gathered down at her feet, clutching her hand.
"Lisa. It took us ten years to get together and if I have to wait another ten years, or for that matter, until my dying day, I'm going nowhere. You're it for me. I'll date you all over again if I have to, but one day you'll be back wearing my ring on your finger."
She beamed. "There's actually an advantage to having no memory."
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmm-hmm. I can enjoy our first kiss all over again. I get a second first kiss."
I didn't need asking twice. I pulled her to her feet, put my arm under her back and bowed her down into a full-on, movie star, romantic kiss.
Then I pulled her back up. "I think I just swooned," she said. We waited, both hoping it brought back her memories, but it didn't.
"I'll fix us some lunch, why don't you take a look around? Your belongings are in the back bedroom. It's a long story but we both sleep in that one."
"Okay," she nodded. "I'll go do that."
I'd just put the finishing touches to tuna mayo baguettes with a side salad when I heard Lisa scream.
"Ezzrraaaaa."
I ran faster than an athlete, not wanting to presume that I'd heard hope in that scream. But she sat on the edge of our bed, with a rectangular-shaped jewellery box open. In her hand was a watch. Tears coursed down her cheeks. "I remember. I remember everything."
I ran to her side, pulling her against me and kissing away her tears. "Everything?"
She nodded.
"As soon as I opened this box, it was like all the past that was missing just reappeared."
"What is it?" I asked her.
She sniffed and rubbed her eyes.
"A long time ago there was a girl in love with a boy. It was almost Valentine's Day and they were meeting in a hotel. The girl had this watch engraved to give him, but there was no happy ever after for them. The boy left the girl to be a movie star and the girl put her heart and the watch back in the box."
"Oh my god. My younger self was a complete idiot."
"No looking back, Ezra. Only forward, okay? It's been a long time, but… here."
She passed me the watch and I looked it over, and then I saw the back.
You have my heart.
"And you have mine. You will always have mine, I swear," I told her, and then just before I kissed her I told her how this stupid boy had become a more intelligent man who knew this time the woman in front of him was everything and he'd never let her doubt it again.
And then we went to get her parents out of the car and inside. I made extra lunch before Mrs McKenzie insisted on Lisa having a hospital check-up. I swore I'd get her looked at by a physician and then I'd book us into a secure hotel if that's what they wanted.
"Mum, I love your concern, but I'm staying here. I just know now that everything is going to turn out fine," Lisa said.
She wasn't happy, but eventually Mrs McKenzie was encouraged home by her husband, who gave me a secret eye-roll, though when we got to the door he whispered, "If she gets hurt again, I'll come for you."
I got a physician appointment for Lisa to be checked over and once she was deemed to be in perfect health, we returned home.
"Oh, I forgot something." Lisa went in her handbag and pulled out her purse. Then she opened the back zip and took out her engagement ring.
I whipped it out of her hand and went back on bended knee.
"Lisa McKenzie. It would appear we do not do functional relationships, so I ask you to join me on what might be a journey of craziness, potholes, and diversions. But I know one thing, every part of our journey will be filled with love. Would you once again agree to become my wife?"
"Yes." I put the ring on her finger, and she flung her arms around me. "You may now kiss the bride," she announced.
"Doesn't that come later?" I asked her.
"I want to come now." She winked, and with that I picked her up and carried her over the threshold… of our bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ezra
Life didn't give us a week before the next hurricane blew in.
We'd gone to my dad's house for Sunday lunch. Everyone was gathered around the table when the door banged hard. Finn stood in the doorway, his fists gripped together.
"She's gone," he spat out.
We knew who he was talking about.
Alice.
"Wh- what do you mean gone? Did she d- die?" Juliet whimpered. Lisa grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"No. I just went to visit, and the hotel told me she'd checked out, but she’d left a note." His face fixed on mine in fury. "It's addressed to you. What did you do? Did you pay her off?"
"That's enough, Finn." Lisa said, surprising me. "Ezra has done no such thing. He gave her some money as he has before, but it was supposed to be used to purchase a home where you could stay with her. If Alice has left, it's on her." Her words were clear and succinct, and they broke through Finn's hardened surface.
He sunk down onto an empty chair, his head in his hands, and flung the unopened envelope down on the table. "Please tell me what it says."
I opened it. We were all there, sitting around the Waites' large dining table. All of Alice's children, plus any significant others. I began:
"Ezra,
It was hard to know who to address this to. Josh, as my former husband; Finn, who wanted to be there for me; but in the end I chose you because despite our fractious relationship you still made sure I had the medical care I needed and brought me back to Willowfield to say my goodbyes.
And I said them.
So now I'm doing the thing I'm best at and I'm disappearing. You'll hear from my solicitors when I'm gone and you will be able to say goodbye at a small service if you wish. But you won't watch me on my journey to the end.
I know this will cause some of you distress, but not as much as if I stayed. I chose to leave before and I'm choosing to leave again. I love each and every one of my children, even though that might be hard to believe right now. I have a message for each of you and I know you might think I have no right to offer advice or words of wisdom, but I'm going to do it anyway.”
My eyes moved to my elder brother.
“Silas. You're the oldest and I know you looked after everyone, that you made sure they all knew they were loved. You're a kind man and you should show someone that instead of hiding behind that ladies man persona.”
Silas looked at the floor.
“Ezra, I hope Lisa's memory returns and you get the Happy Ever After you've filmed so often in movies. I'm proud of the fact that although you've become a star in the US, you never let it go to your head and remained a Willowfield local boy at heart.” Lisa squeezed my hand in support. I carried on.
“Milo. You were my cheeky little boy and you've grown into a fine man. You and Violet are perfect together. Never lose that sense of humour. It will help you through any of life's storms.” Milo for once in his life said nothing at all in response. My eyes went to the brother who’d cast down the envelope in the first place.
“Finn. You have a heart of gold and the fact you wanted to care for me from now until the end was incredible. But I had no intention of letting that happen. I might be a selfish woman at heart, but I do want all my children to have happy lives. I'm sorry that myself and then Sylvie made you close your heart off. You deserve someone who will look after you too.”
I paused.
“That’s it? That’s all she had to say to me?” His eyes flooded with tears. Our dad walked over and hugged him, nodding at me to carry on. I knew what my dad was saying with one quick look at his eyes, ‘ge
t this over with’.
“Callum. You've come on one of the biggest and most heart-breaking journeys, but I can see how perfect you and Becca are for each other. I'm testament to the fact that some birth parents don't deserve the title of mum or dad, and you will be an amazing role model to Laurel.” Becca smiled up at my brother and then I turned my attention to my sister.
“Jules. You've always been blunt and straight talking, so I'm going to do the same. To leave you at the age of seven was an appalling act on my part, but I'm selfish, we already established that. For all the ways I screwed you up I am sorry. But don't let me ruin your future. Don't close yourself off from love because of the actions of a selfish bitch of a mother. In other words, if you haven't let that poor Quinn take you out yet, then rectify that at once."
I paused then to look back at Juliet, who was looking at Quinn at the side of her and pulling a face at his smug expression. I carried on.
"Eli, I'm sorry I never really knew you at all. I'll keep repeating it. I'm not a good mother or a responsible role model. But Angela is. She's your mother. A brilliant mother, and you should never let her go and always make sure she knows how important she is to you."
Eli walked over to Angela, so I stopped speaking once more. This fifteen-year-old boy hugged her and said, "I know I can be a pain in the butt, but you are my mum. Will you adopt me?"
Angela pulled him close, her sobs audible as she nodded her head. It took her a minute before she said to him, "I'd be honoured, Eli."
I came to the final words. My eyes resting back on my father.
"Josh. I want you to know that I loved you deeply from the moment we met, and I saw every one of our children as a blessing. I'm sorry I hurt you so much, but I didn't have a choice. We'd have turned toxic if I'd stayed and our kids would have been hurt anyway. Or perhaps I'm just telling myself that to appeal to God to let me into Heaven, cos I've a feeling it might be a close run thing." I felt a smirk quirk my lips at that.
