by Zavi James
"What about the rest of your family?" Stefan asked, changing the topic away from Luc.
"It's just me and Dad."
"That's it?"
"My Mom died from cancer when I was really young. I don't really remember her though I wish I could. I've seen photos and I know it sounds awful but it's like looking at a stranger."
Stefan stopped us and pulled me into a hug. "It's not awful. It makes a lot of sense."
When we let go of each other, we continued down the beach. "What about you?" Stef asked me. "Do you want a small family?"
A smile spread across my face. "I want a huge family. I’ve always been on my own or with Dad so when I have one, I want to be surrounded."
He laughed, "Perfect sense. I think I'm more the wife and two kids type."
"Why doesn't that surprise me? You seem a stickler for the rules."
Chapter Thirty Eight
Lucas
It pained me to keep my distance, but I had managed it by visiting good friends. The Diaz family had always been close to us and it was a shame they lived so far out.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Emilio asked me. My impromptu visit had not been discussed—no question when I had turned up at the door but that had been almost three weeks ago. Emilio could no longer hold back his curiosity. "If you're in some type of trouble I'll help you out of it," Emilio told me.
That was why I loved and respected the man sitting opposite me. Emilio was at least ten years older than me, but the age and experience never came across as patronizing. He pledged his loyalty to people and stuck by that fiercely.
"It's not the type of trouble you can help me out of," I told him, pushing the bowl away.
Carmen walked into the room, her son balanced on her hip and his head resting on her shoulder.
"Morning, both," she greeted us before leaning down to kiss Emilio on the lips.
The pain washed over me in constant waves, never giving me time to catch my breath before I was pulled under by the next current. Emilio had married Carmen five years ago. I had been so skeptical as I stood as part of the congregation and watched them exchange vows, looking like the most picturesque bride and groom. Emilio Diaz ran a tight ship and was a feared name. How did he think Carmen would fare in all of the mess?
She hadn't just fared. Carmen had thrived and proven herself time and again that she would stand by Emilio's side through anything. At every social gathering, Carmen was draped on his arm but was so much more than the typical trophy wife. Carmen had surprised us all with her viciousness when it came down to protecting her husband. Then came the news that their family was expanding. A baby boy and heir to the Diaz throne.
All the judgement I had once held towards Emilio and the choices he had made to start a family had long gone and was replaced by a deep rooted and hideous jealousy. He had managed to pull something beautiful into this life of lawlessness and I wished I could do the same.
"Luc!"
I was pulled out of my thoughts by a tiny voice. Santiago Diaz, Emilio and Carmen's pride and joy, was looking at me with his arms outstretched.
"Come here, little man." I pushed my chair back and Carmen deposited her son on my lap. Santi was only 3 but looked every inch his mother with dark hair and bright blue eyes. I had no doubt in my mind that he’d grow up to be just as much trouble as his parents.
"So, you admit there is trouble?" Emilio brought us back onto topic.
"How do you do it?” I asked, looking up at them. “How do you both do it?" I managed to get the words out as a lump came to my throat.
Carmen ran a hand through my hair and asked, "Who is she?"
She had always been more intuitive than her husband, more observant. Whereas Emilio preferred people to get to the point, Carmen picked up on the little things and pocketed the information for when she could find use for it.
"She wasn't even meant to be involved in all this," I said, looking back down to Santi. The young boy was busy tracing the tattoos on my arms with his little fingers.
"What do you mean?"
I couldn’t hold my resolve any longer and explained the situation to the pair. Carmen took a seat at the table, resting a hand on the small swell of her stomach where her second son had begun to grow. The Diaz dynasty was slowly and steadily expanding.
"Lucas," Carmen said softly when I had finished, her accent thick around my name. "Don't you think you should try and talk to her?"
Of course, I did. The problem was that I didn't think I would be able to handle Mia telling me to my face that she wanted nothing to do with me. A small part of me wondered if I could stay away until the debt was repaid, then Mia would return home and life could return to normal.
But that was a lie because there would be no more normal without Mia. Without her, there would be a gaping chasm in my life that I wouldn’t know how to fill.
"Charlie would tell you to get your head out of your fucking ass," Emilio told me bluntly.
"Emilio!" Carmen said horrified. "Mind your language around your son!"
Santi looked around at the adults at the table and Emilio shook his head at his son as a silent sign not to copy the words he had just said.
"Sorry, my love," Emilio apologized to his wife before turning back to me. For all the reputation that he held, Emilio was putty in his wife’s hands. "What I mean to say is that your father was a man who faced things head on and you are every bit Charlie's son."
Regardless of what anyone thought of Dad, I idolized my father. He had been a strict and intimidating man but had all the time and love in the world for the people who showed him respect and loyalty. It had gutted me when Dad had died, and I was certain a small part of me lay in the grave with him. He was the man I aspired to be.
"What am I even meant to say to her?" I asked.
I’d been away for weeks, and although Mia had tried to reach out, I’d made no attempt to reciprocate. Her messages reminded me that she was okay but otherwise I had tried to push her from my mind. A much more difficult task than I had anticipated. I wanted to delay the inevitable rejection because I was certain there was nothing I could do to convince her otherwise.
"Lucas," Carmen said. "We'll always want to protect the people we love." She looked at her little boy in my arms. "There's no guarantee we will be successful in that, but it doesn't mean we love them any less. If this woman is like you say she is, then it sounds like she will be understanding of your life. You need to start facing up to this instead of avoiding your responsibility.”
I wasn't so sure she would be, but I was driving myself mad and more than anything I missed Mia. I missed hearing her laugh and seeing her face. I missed having her in my arms. I didn’t know it was possible for a single person to have such an effect on the way I felt.
"What do you think, Santi? What am I meant to do? Do you think she'll listen to me?" I said, looking at the boy because I felt that the three-year-old would make less of a mess than I would.
"Fuck!" Santi replied.
Chapter Thirty Nine
Mia
My life had slowly regained structure in the form of a routine. Dante stopped by for breakfast every day. Stefan went to class, Dante went to work, and I spent my days with Lydia and Dom or with my head in a book. After the first week of no replies from Luc, I had given up trying. No one at home brought him up and although I was certain Dante had spoken to him on the phone, I couldn't find the courage to ask after him. Luc was making it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with me.
The only “new” part of my routine was Stefan. We went out every other night to do something and, on the weekend, I would accompany him to the hospital to visit Maria. Unfortunately, another fall had led to an extension on her stay and Stef had visibly taken the weight of the stress, looking exhausted and worried whenever I saw him.
"Okay, Lyds," I said. "Oh, hey D. What are you doing here?"
It was a Friday night and Dante didn't usually come for dinner but tonight he was at the tabl
e, looking miserable.
"Hey. It's been a long day and I didn't fancy eating alone. You look nice," he said, nodding at my outfit and I felt myself blush.
"Stefan and I..."
Dante raised an eyebrow and the start of the sentence.
"We're going to the movies," I explained and quickly added, "I can cancel if you want company or you could come with us." The words spilt out of my mouth quickly.
"Just stay safe," Dante told me. "Any problems, you call me." He told me the same thing every morning before he left, and I knew he was just looking out for me. He felt like the older brother I never had and always wanted.
Stefan came up behind me and placed a hand on my waist and I stepped away. "Ready to go?"
Dante looked at us curiously. Stefan had become familiar, but he walked very close to the line, occasionally stepping over it.
"Mhmm," I hummed. "See you guys later." I turned around and squeezed past Stefan to walk down the hall, but I could hear Dante's question.
"What the fuck is going on with those two?"
After the movie, Stefan and I walked home. His hand found mine and I pulled it away still wanting to keep our boundaries firmly in place.
"You're quiet tonight," he said to me.
"I'm sorry. Just a bit worried about having these stitches out." It wasn’t a complete lie. Monday morning, I would finally have my stitches removed.
"Just say the word and I can try and swap into another lab," Stefan told me.
He wasn't able to come to my appointment on Monday and it spiked my anxiety. He had a lab that accounted for a large portion of his grade for the class and I refused to have him do anything that would jeopardize it.
"No, it'll be fine," I said to him. "Dom is coming with me so it's not like I’ll be alone."
"You'll let me know how it goes?"
"Sure. I'll message you after it's done."
"We can go to dinner to celebrate."
"My stitches coming out?" I asked.
"Why not?"
We reached the door of the house and Stef stopped me before I went in. I knew what was coming and it made me uncomfortable. He'd done this for the past week. Stood on the steps, Stefan pulled me in towards him gently.
"Mia, can I kiss you?"
When Stefan had first asked, I had laughed but the look in his eye told him it wasn't a joke. I had told him no and Stefan hadn't pushed it. Every time he asked me, I declined but I had begun to wonder if relenting to the request would put an end to his incessant efforts.
"I don't know," I mumbled.
Stefan looked down at me and brushed some hair from my face as he said, "That's not a no."
He didn't move any closer. His comment told me that the ball was in my court. I shivered as the wind picked up and took a small step closer to him.
"We should get inside," Stefan said.
"Wait..."
Stefan looked at me and I knew that if I didn't do it now then I would lose the little bit of courage that I had built. I almost felt like I owed it to Stef for being so caring since the incident. Not a desire but an obligation. Getting up on my toes, I moved my face towards his just as the door opened.
"What the hell?" Dante had his keys in his hand, ready to go home.
I stepped back from Stefan, going red in the face. Dante's expression was unreadable as he looked between the pair of us. Stefan seemed unfazed but I felt guilt creep through me as the reality of what I was about to do hit me.
"Hope you guys enjoy your night," Dante said before he pushed his way between us and towards his car.
"Come on, Mia," Stefan said. "Let's get you inside." He placed a hand on my lower back and guided me over the threshold.
"I think I'm going to head to bed," I said, feeling sick.
"Are you sure?" Stefan asked, disappointed.
"Yeah. Thank you for tonight." I reached up and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, relieved that Dante had inadvertently stopped anything more.
After a long shower, I got into pajamas and laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, sleep evading me as it often did. A million things ran through my mind and I just wanted to switch off, but it never happened with ease and I groaned.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my phone screen light up and rolled over to see Lucas calling me. My heart stopped and I fumbled to answer it.
"Luc?" I was met with silence. "Lucas?" I felt my mouth go dry.
"Hey, princess," Luc said eventually.
The familiarity of his voice made tears sting my eyes. I scrambled and sat up in bed, hugging a pillow while I held the phone to my ear.
"I went out of town for a bit. Trying to sort out the mess I caused," he told me.
"You're coming back soon, right?" I said to him hopefully.
"Mia..."
"It's been a month."
Four weeks. I had spent four weeks without Luc around and it had made me feel lost. At one point he hadn't been a part of my life and then he had been there every single day. The silence on the phone was deafening.
"I need you," I whispered the words he usually told me.
The phone went dead.
I looked at the screen and tried to call him back, but it didn't connect, and I kicked myself. I should have apologized. I should have said something to make him come home, but I hadn't.
When the fatigue started to set in, I fought against it in hopes that Luc would call me back, but he didn't and eventually, I closed my eyes and let exhaustion take over.
Chapter Forty
Stefan
Saturday morning, Mia and Dom had left the house for a run. Lydia had the day off and so I settled myself in the living room to study for a quiz. My mind kept wandering to last night. If Dante had not opened the door, Mia would have kissed me. I had been patient with her because that was what she needed.
Mia reminded me so much of Isa that it hurt, but I could heal and have the life I had dreamed of if Mia just gave in to me.
"What are you thinking about?"
Turning my head, I saw Dante standing there, arms folded across his chest.
"Just studying," I answered him.
He hummed before walking into the room and I tensed. Dante had been a part of the family for as long as I could remember and although Lucas might have looked after me because we were blood, it was easy to see who Luc considered his true brother.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Needed some things from Luc's study. Do you want to tell me what was going on last night?"
Closing the book, I looked at Dante properly. "I don't really see how it's your concern."
"It's my concern because while Luc's away, I'm keeping an eye on Mia."
"And what exactly is your concern?"
"You're too close to her, Stefan," Dante told me.
I let out a short, sharp laugh. "We're all pretty close to her."
"I know what I saw last night," Dante said, narrowing his eyes.
"And what was that?"
"You were going to kiss her."
"Actually, she was going to kiss me. What? Is she not allowed to date?"
"Not you," Dante said simply. He stood there like a statue, but I caught the twitch in his muscles.
"What? Because Lucas thinks that she belongs to him. Where is he, Dante? Not here. Nowhere near her. She spends time with me."
"He'll be back."
"Sure, and by that time she's not even going to care, is she?"
"Stefan, I am telling you not to mess with this."
"And I'm telling you that I'm not going to let this go. Look at what happened to her, Dante. You tell me that Isa didn't go through your head."
Dante dropped his gaze to the floor. "She isn't Isa."
"I know."
I knew that Mia wasn't my Isabella, but their nature was the same. Kind, caring and compassionate. Mia should never have been introduced to all of this. If I had met her under normal circumstances it would have been easier.
"We barely knew anything
back then," Dante said.
"So, you're willing to risk Mia?" I asked, gathering my things as I stood from the couch. "Let her choose."
I left the room and walked out into the back yard, grateful that Luc's impulsive nature had driven him away.
Chapter Forty One
Mia
When Monday rolled around, Dom cancelled on me due to his sick husband. Stefan had already left for class but Dante took me to the hospital before he left for work.
I sat patiently as the nurse removed the stitches and a doctor checked them over. When I was given the all clear, I took a few moments to look at the puckered skin. It would never lay flat and smooth again. I was left with an everlasting reminder of what happened when you crossed the wrong people. I pulled roughly at my sweater to cover the scar.
Heading into the elevator, I pulled out my phone to call Dante for a ride home before changing my mind. Pocketing my phone, I hit number seven in the elevator to take me up to the floor.
"Maria?" I said, stood in the doorway.
"Oh, Mia, sweetheart. What are you doing here?"
She had just finished off a cup of tea but the tremor in her hand made it hard to put down. I walked in and took it from her before placing it on the table.
"I just got my stitches out. I hope you don't mind, I just thought I'd pop in and see how you are."
Usually, my visits were with Stefan, but he was in class and I didn't want to go back to the house just yet. When I’d seen Maria on Saturday afternoon the woman said I was always welcome to come back but now I worried that maybe she had said it to be polite.
"I don't mind at all," Maria said, straightening out her clothes and smoothing down her hair. "I'm sorry. I haven't been awake long."
"You don't need to apologise. Actually," I fished a brush out of my bag on my shoulder. "If you want, I could do your hair."
Maria gave me a warm smile and I joined her on the bed.
"Having boys," Maria said. "Well, they look after you, but they are useless for this type of thing."
