by Teri Wilson
“I’m sure you can come up with something far worse.” Mr. Grant’s smile grew wider. “I have faith in your ability to craft something truly terrible and frivolous.”
Madison wasn’t sure whether to feel flattered or insulted. Damn you again, Fired Up in Lovestruck. “Yes, sir.”
“Get to it. I need it by the end of the day.” Mr. Grant waved a hand toward the bullpen.
Oh, joy.
Maybe it was a good thing she wrote under a ridiculous pseudonym, after all.
* * *
Since his run-in at the library with Madison, Jack had spent every spare moment the past few days compiling two lists—one detailing all the potential evidence that she was the writer behind the Queen Bee moniker, and the other outlaying all evidence to the contrary. He’d managed to come up with a solid argument for both scenerios. On one hand, it seemed entirely possible that she’d read Queen Bee’s letter to the editor, just like everyone else in Lovestruck, and had simply chosen the library books because they’d been recommended by an “expert.” On the other, she dressed like a runway model. Her stilettos alone were enough to convince him that she’d been responsible for writing “The Four Cutest Toddler Shoes for Fall.”
By the time her next scheduled night nanny shift rolled around on Tuesday evening, Jack was certain of only two things: first, he needed to learn more about the woman he’d hired to care for his children while he slept. Second, he needed to stop writing the letters. He needed to really stop—no more backsliding and certainly no more sending letters addressed to Queen Bee personally.
Done, he thought, swigging a cup of coffee as he glanced at the clock above the stove. Madison was due to arrive any minute, and he was as nervous as an awkward kid waiting to ask his crush to prom.
Pathetic.
He rolled his eyes at himself. There was no logical reason for his anxiety. His need to know more about Madison was purely professional.
His eyes rolled even harder. Okay, mostly professional. Either way, tonight would be a fact-finding mission. It was not as if he would have gotten much sleep, listening to her quiet footsteps and gentle murmurs while he tried not to imagine running his fingertips along the perfect pink swell of her bottom lip.
Plus, he’d already stopped writing the letters. He’d quit completely cold turkey, even though for some insane reason, the idea that Madison might actually be Queen Bee gave him an almost undeniable urge to pick up a pen and paper.
He closed his eyes and let out a groan. God, he had it bad, didn’t he? When Madison arrived, he should probably just let her in and make himself scarce like he always did, lest he act on his feelings—which would be absolutely crazy since he wasn’t entirely sure who he had feelings for. Madison was a mystery and trying to unravel her would be fraught with complications.
The baby monitor on the kitchen counter crackled to life, and he could hear one of the girls start to babble. They’d been doing that more and more lately, especially Emma. He knew it was probably too early to expect to hear a dada, but he still caught himself holding his breath every now and then, hoping for the sweetest brand of miracle.
He strode down the hall and lifted Emma gently from her crib, holding her delicate little form against his chest.
“You,” he whispered into her downy blond hair. “You’re the one. You and your sister.”
No one else. They were the most important people in the world, and they’d already been let down in the most painful possible way. Natalie had walked away without a backward glance. She’d even signed away her parental rights, even though he’d never asked for that as part of their divorce settlement. One day his daughters would grow up and find out that their mother had literally written them off as if they’d never existed. He was all they had now, and he owed it to them to devote himself to them wholeheartedly. He didn’t have room in his life for distractions.
Not even a distraction as lovely as Madison Jules...or Queen Bee...or whoever the heck she was.
The doorbell rang as he bounced Emma in the crook of his elbow and right on cue, Ella started crying. Jack scooped her up in his free arm, and the symbolism wasn’t lost on him as he strode to the door. His hands were both literally and figuratively full—too full to even let Madison into his home.
Or his life.
Even so, his rebellious heart pounded hard at the sight of her silhouette through the door’s frosted glass window. “Come in, it’s open.”
She pushed the door open and swept into the house like a cool summer breeze, all tumbling hair and smooth, sun-kissed shoulders. He did a double take when he realized she was wearing kitten heels for a change—strappy little sandals, paired with a gingham sundress that made her look like she was on her way to a picnic in the park rather than the shadowy halls of his home in the wee hours of the night.
He took a deep breath and tried not to think about how perfectly she’d tuck against him with her head nestled right beneath his chin. “Hello.”
“Oh.” Her beautiful face split into a wide grin at the sight of the babies in his arms. “Look who’s up!”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” He tipped his head toward Emma. “This one was babbling away in her crib, and as you know...”
“Once one twin is awake, the other is sure to follow.” She glanced from the babies to him, and when their gazes locked, her smile turned bashful around the edges. “See? I’m learning.”
Words in Jack’s own handwriting tumbled through his head. It’s puzzling to me why the author of the parenting column seems to care more about aesthetics than actual children.
He was ashamed to admit he’d written those words—and more—about anyone, but especially the woman standing in front of him. If he was right and Madison really was Queen Bee, she could never find out. She’d hate him for sure. It would certainly mean the end of whatever strange and wonderful friendship had begun to form between them, and he wasn’t ready to give that up. The thought of it made his insides twist into a tight knot of panic.
He swallowed hard. “As long as we’re all up and awake, I figured I could help you get the girls fed and bathed?”
Madison dropped her sweater and giant designer tote on the kitchen table and shot him a puzzled look. “Isn’t that my job? You’ve got kittens and ducklings to save tomorrow. You’re supposed to be sleeping.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at her description of his workday. Thanks a lot, Wade.
“I’m not that tired yet.” Another lie. He’d been chugging so much maple coffee from the Bean that the blood in his veins had probably been replaced with a mixture of caffeine and pancake syrup. “I can help you get the twins down and still get a few good hours of sleep in.”
“Okay, then.” Her gaze strayed toward his mouth, and a pink flush washed over her porcelain features before she looked away. “Great.”
“Great,” he echoed.
It was almost like he’d forgotten how to talk to a woman all of a sudden. He’d definitely forgotten what it was like to have one standing in his kitchen, other than his mom. He’d forgotten how a woman’s presence could make everything seem brighter and full of light. The tension between his shoulder blades eased for the first time all day, and somewhere deep down he knew there wasn’t another woman alive who had this effect on him.
Only her. Only Madison.
They spent the next hour or so feeding the twins, weaving around the high chairs, the sink and the butcher-block island as if they were part of some intimate, domestic dance. And despite the very real reasons why he shouldn’t even be entertaining any sort of relationship with Madison, he loved the way she’d started to fit right into his life with the girls. He could have never predicted it when he’d answered the call out at her aunt’s farmhouse and she’d had no idea her hair straightener had nearly started an electrical fire. But maybe that was just one of the things that made her special—she surprised him in the best p
ossible ways, and it had been a long time since surprises had been kind to Jack.
He cleaned up the kitchen while Madison got Emma and Ella ready for their baths, trying his hardest to get his head screwed on straight while he scrubbed strained peas and carrots off the walls, the floor and himself. Thus far, his fact-finding mission had been an abysmal failure. He hadn’t managed to ask Madison a single personal question, but mealtimes with the twins were always crazy. Surely, he could sneak in some adult conversation while they watched Emma and Ella splash in their bath seats. Trying to second-guess her every word and deed to see if it fit his imaginary profile of Queen Bee was going to be the end of him.
Maybe he should just come out and ask if it was her.
He considered this possibility as he tucked the twins’ matching high chairs into the breakfast nook and flipped off the kitchen light. It was certainly direct. He just wasn’t sure how to handle things afterward. Did he admit he was Fired Up in Lovestruck or just stick to his letter-writing embargo and keep his mouth shut?
Neither, he hoped. Because she’s not Queen Bee.
Ella and Emma were snug in their bath seats in the tub, facing each other and kicking at the shallow water when Jack reached the bathroom. He lingered in the doorway for a moment, taking in the sight of Madison kneeling beside the tub, piling bubbles on top of a giggling Ella’s head. His breathing grew slower. Calmer.
Madison caught sight of him over her shoulder and bit her lip. “You’ve got baby food on your shirt.”
“Story of my life,” he said, lowering himself next to her beside the tub.
She laughed far louder than he’d have expected.
“Are peas and carrots really so funny?” he said, dipping a finger into the bathwater and depositing a lavender-scented bubble on the tip of Madison’s nose.
“Hey!” She blew at the bubble and it went airborne, capturing the attention of Emma and Ella’s big blue eyes as it drifted overhead. “For your information, I wasn’t laughing at the stain on your shirt. Not exactly, anyway. I was just thinking that I never, ever could have imagined you as a dad until that day we met at the Bean and you had Ella and Emma strapped to your chest in those cute sling carriers.”
“You mean the day you caught me hiding from you?”
“Ha! I knew it!” She scooped a generous handful of bubbles from the tub and mashed them into his face.
The twins giggled in unison. As long as Jack lived, he’d never grow tired of his daughters’ laughter. It was his favorite sound.
He shook his head, and bubbles flew everywhere. “Fine. I admit it. I kind of panicked when I realized you were the one interviewing for the night nanny job. The only reason I’m owning up to it now is that I’m fully prepared to admit how wrong I was. You’re great with the girls.”
“Really?” She blinked, clearly stunned by the compliment. “You think so?”
“I do.” The second the words left his mouth, Jack realized they were straight from a wedding ceremony.
Do you take this woman, to have and to hold?
I do.
He cleared his throat. “I mean, yes. Definitely. I thought so that very first night.” He felt one corner of his mouth lift into a half grin. “Baby powder explosion aside, I could just tell you were the perfect person for the job.”
“Wow. That...” She inhaled a shaky breath. “That might just be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“Surely, that’s not true.” He hoped to hell it wasn’t. There had to be people in her life who believed in her and told her so on a regular basis. Everyone deserved that kind of support, especially someone as lovely and earnest as Madison.
He searched her gaze, trying desperately to unravel the complicated truth of who exactly she was as a shimmer of unshed tears gathered in her eyes.
“Sorry.” She waved a hand and pasted on a smile that seemed a little too wide. “Don’t mind me and my silly emotions.”
“Please don’t apologize,” he said, and his voice sounded strange all of a sudden, like something rusty that hadn’t been used in a while. A long, long while. “You’re entitled to your feelings. It’s not silly.”
The smile wobbled off her face and what was left in its place was an expression so raw, so vulnerable that Jack almost felt like he should avert his gaze. But he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. A hush fell between them, and the only sounds that registered in Jack’s consciousness were the splash-splash of the twins in their bath seats and the beat of his own heart, pounding as if it had just recognized a kindred spirit.
“That day at the coffee shop you mentioned you’d grown up without a mom,” he finally said. “Is that what the sudden tears are about?”
She nodded. “In a way, yes. She died when I was just a baby, so it was always just me and my dad until he died a few years ago. I loved him very much, but I’m beginning to realize how much my mother’s death shaped the way he raised me.”
“How so?”
“To be strong, independent and practical, which are all great attributes, but...”
“But strength alone doesn’t leave much room for connection.” Jack nodded. He understood exactly what she was trying to say. How could he not? It was the same sentiment his mom and the guys at the firehouse had been repeating to him over and over again for the past year.
He hadn’t wanted to hear it, though. He wasn’t ready. He had his daughters, and they were the only connection he needed.
Or so he’d thought until his night nanny smiled at him from behind a veil of tears, and the urge to kiss her became so overwhelming that he could hardly breathe.
“Exactly.” Her gaze slid toward the babies in the tub and then back toward him. “I suppose I owe you a thank-you. I was beginning to think I’d make a terrible mother someday, but now...”
Her voice went all soft around the edges, and the gratitude in her expression just about killed him. He knew right then and there he could never, ever ask if she was Queen Bee. The answer to that question just might have the power to break a heart. Maybe even two.
“There’s more to being a mother than knowing how to change a diaper, Madison. Simply showing up is a hell of a good start.” He wasn’t sure which one of them leaned in first or if they’d simply been drawn to each other by some invisible force, but she was suddenly right there, just a whisper away, so close that he could see the bloom of her pulse in the dip between her collarbones. He could see the heat in her eyes, as precious and unexpected as liquid gold. Somewhere deep inside, he felt himself slowly begin to crack open, and it felt so damn good, like he could take his first full gulp of oxygen after holding his breath for months.
He cupped her cheek in one of his hands—the lightest of touches, but it sent shock waves of awareness coursing through him, warm like honey. “You’ll make a wonderful mother. Trust me.”
“I trust you,” she whispered, and the last shred of Jack’s resistance fell away.
His gaze dropped to her perfect pink mouth and he dipped his head toward hers, almost undone by the thought of tasting her. The scent of lavender swirled in the air, wrapping them in a dream, and somehow Jack summoned the wherewithal to send her a questioning look, because as much as he wanted this, he needed to know she wanted it, too.
She nodded, lips parting, and every cell in his body seemed to cry with relief. But in the final moment of sweet surrender, just as their lips were about to touch, two simple syllables dragged him away from the moment and back to reality.
Dada.
* * *
Madison’s eyes flew open, and she found a shell-shocked Jack staring back at her less than an inch away. Goodness, he was a beautiful man. At this close range, his bone structure alone was almost enough to make her weep.
“Did you hear that?” he blurted.
She nodded. “I certainly did.”
Dada. She’d heard it as plai
n as day, just when she’d thought nothing on God’s green earth could have stopped her from kissing Jack Cole.
But this was a good interruption—an almost miraculous one, as evidenced by Jack’s whoop of joy.
“I can’t believe it.” He shook his head and whooped again, then bent over the edge of the tub peering back and forth between Ella and Emma.
“Dada,” he said. “Dada, dada, dada.”
The girls let out twin squeals. Ella reached for Jack’s nose and captured it in her tiny fist, and he laughed a deep belly laugh that made Madison feel like crying for some strange reason.
He shot her a quick glance. “Which one of them was it? Do you know?”
“I’m not sure.” Some nanny she was. She’d been too busy kissing dada to tell which twin had just spoken her first word.
Almost kissing, technically.
It was a crucial difference. They hadn’t actually locked lips, and for the life of her, Madison wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or relieved.
Okay, that was patently false. Her heart swelled for Jack and his dada moment, but she couldn’t shake the sense of something unfinished—a moment of pure magic that had slipped right through her fingers.
It was for the best, though. She’d let herself get carried away by the kind things Jack had said to her, and for a wild, unguarded moment, she’d imagined that he and his little girls belonged to her. As crazy as it seemed, she’d almost believed that destiny had brought them into her life. Could it be that all this time, she’d been chasing a byline, longing for bigger and better things, when what she’d really needed was right here in Lovestruck?
Impossible.
“Dada,” Jack said again, and this time, Emma giggled and let out a long stream of baby talk.
“A-ga, a-gagagaga.” Her tiny face lit up in the sweetest smile Madison had ever seen. “Dada. Dadadadada.”
