by Rose Pearson
“You can still dance, however, can you not?” one gentleman asked, inclining his head. “Might I look at your dance card, Lady Smithton?”
Graciously, she handed it to him and found, to her delight, that the gentlemen now all appeared rather keen to dance with her. She smiled to herself, feeling happiness filling her soul. Perhaps her time in London would be a pleasant experience after all. Perhaps the rumors and whispers would all simply fade away in time – and, most importantly, she would be able to avoid and forget all those who had involved themselves in some way, in her past.
That happiness evaporated in an instant when Lord Havisham, unasked and unwanted, took the dance card from another gentleman and, with a flourish, wrote his name on not one but two of her dances. His eyes lifted to hers, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. It seemed she was not going to be able to avoid him after all.
Chapter Six
“Lord Havisham.”
He bowed and offered her his arm. “Lady Smithton,” he murmured, his eyes lingering on hers for a moment.
Memories swamped her as he led her onto the dance floor, his hand settling on her waist as they prepared to waltz. She did not want to feel this. She did not want to recall anything about him or what they had shared together before she had been strong-armed into her marriage to the Marquess of Smithton.
“I did not know you were back in London,” he said, softly, as the music began to play.
She stiffened in his arms. “I did not know it was my duty to inform you, Lord Havisham.”
His brows furrowed, his eyes darkening. “You are still angry with me.”
One of her eyebrows shot up. “Lord Havisham, I did not think you particularly arrogant! I have been away from London for two years and I did not, I’m afraid, spend all that time thinking of you.” Especially not after how you chose to treat me, she thought to herself, her gaze fixed over his right shoulder. Her heart was hammering furiously despite her outwardly calm and collected appearance and she could only pray that he did not feel it.
“You look somewhat changed since I last saw you,” he said in her ear, making her stiffen all the more. She did not want to think about what he meant, all too aware of the heat that was slowly making its way up her spine. When she had first come to London, she had not had any choice in what she wore or how she dressed. Her father had dictated almost everything, much to the chagrin of her mother. She had not been given the best gowns, nor even the highest fashions. Instead, she had been dressed in rather plain, almost dull gowns with only the simplest hairstyles to go with them. That had been because her father had not wished to waste any expenses on a daughter he planned to marry to the Marquess of Smithton, although, at the time, she had not known it. Now that she had wealth of her own, Emily took pride in ensuring she always looked well, choosing to dress in bright colors instead of the dull, washed out tones she had been forced to wear. She said nothing in response to Lord Havisham’s remark, tilting her chin a little higher so that she would not even have to look into his eyes.
“Lady Smithton,” Lord Havisham murmured, breaking the silence between them. “These last two years have been, for me, filled with nothing but regret. I realize now that I should not have turned away from what was growing between us. I – ”
“This is quite unnecessary, Lord Havisham,” she interrupted coldly, not wanting to hear another word from his mouth. “You do not need to apologize, nor make any kind of excuse. Believe me when I say that I do not want to hear such things from you.”
Lord Havisham did not say another word, much to Emily’s relief. Tension flared between them, a cloud settling on Emily’s shoulders as she continued to waltz with him. Why had he sought to dance with her when he must surely have known that there could be no delight in renewing their acquaintance?
Closing her eyes for a moment, Emily drew in a deep breath and continued to concentrate on being swept around the floor, making sure not to put a foot wrong. She longed for the music to end, wanting to be free of his grasp so that she could return to her other new acquaintances in the hope that she would be able to regain her sense of calm as well as thrust any thought of Lord Havisham from her mind. She did not want to remember him, did not want to be dragged back into the memories of the past.
“Forgive me, Lady Smithton, but I cannot help but –”
“I believe I have made myself more than clear, Lord Havisham,” Emily interrupted, pulling back from him slightly. “Do not press your advantage now, just because we are in close proximity.”
Lord Havisham drew in a long breath and shook his head, hearing the music begin to slow in preparation for the last few steps. “I must beg you for the opportunity to speak openly to you, Lady Smithton. My soul has been burning with regret over my behavior towards you the last time we spoke.” He looked into her eyes but Emily turned her gaze away, his hand searing through her gown as he continued to hold her tightly. “If only I could be permitted to apologize, then I might find a little relief.” His grip tightened around her waist and Emily felt her breath hitch. “Please, Lady Smithton.”
The music came to a close and it was with sheer relief that Emily stepped back out of Lord Havisham’s arms, curtsying beautifully as she inclined her head. He bowed but let his eyes linger on her as she rose, offering her his arm as they walked from the floor. She did not accept it.
“Must I beg you again, Lady Smithton?” he murmured, as they drew nearer the crowd of guests. “It will only be a few minutes of your time.”
She looked up at him as they joined the rest of the guests at the edges of the ballroom. “Your guilt is none of my concern, Lord Havisham. You do not speak of me or the struggles I myself might have gone through and your sorrow over that. Instead, you simply wish to apologize so that your guilt might be assuaged.” Her eyes narrowed a little, seeing the way he dropped his head, clearly ashamed. “I have nothing to speak to you of, Lord Havisham, nor do I have need to give you any more of my time. Do excuse me.”
Not waiting to see if he would reply or had anything else to say to her, Emily moved away from him at once, hating that her pulse was racing as it had done all those years ago. As much as she was hurt by Lord Havisham’s request, hurt by his obvious and apparent eagerness to soften his own suffering, she could not help but feel that same strong attraction towards him that had been in her heart some two years ago. He was just as handsome as she recalled, but she could not allow herself to give that any further consideration. It would be best for her to set all that aside and move forward as she had planned. After what she had said to him, Emily had to hope that he would not seek her out again. It was clear she did not wish to continue their acquaintance and Emily prayed that Lord Havisham would respect that. Hopefully, he would not seek her out for their second dance and, if he did, Emily had every thought to refuse him. Picking up a glass of refreshment, she glanced down at her dance card, seeing that she had a few minutes of respite before she had another dance.
“My lady?”
Turning her head, Emily saw yet another young lady to whom she had no knowledge and was certain that they had never been introduced. This particular girl had a long, straight nose with a somewhat square jaw and very little color in her face. Her brown curls hung loosely about her face with very little purpose and her blue eyes lacked any sort of warmth. There was a heaviness about her frame, being broad-shouldered, although she certainly was not in any way rotund. Emily lifted her eyes to the young lady’s face, seeing her cheeks now a little pink, clearly aware of Emily’s scrutiny.
A nudge of shame bit at her soul. She did not need to look the young lady up and down, and certainly not in such an obvious fashion. “Do excuse me,” Emily stammered, feeling a little off-balance. “I was just trying to recall your name.”
“Oh,” the young lady said, in a quiet voice, her eyes darting from here to there. “I see. I apologize, of course, but I thought to come and greet you without having made a formal introduction.”
“Indeed,” Emily
murmured, a little surprised that this was now the second time such a thing had occurred, given that the first had been when she had been walking in the park.
The young girl nodded, her hands clasping in front of her. “I have a dear friend, Miss Bavidge, and it was she who encouraged me to become acquainted with you this evening. If it had not been for her reassurance that you would not turn from me then I would not have dared come to speak to you in such a rude manner. I know we have not been introduced and I must apologize for my unexpected interruption.”
It took Emily a moment to recall that Miss Bavidge was none other than the first unknown young lady whom she had met only that afternoon. She then allowed a slight smile to cross her face, so as to reassure the girl who was now looking at her with a somewhat strained expression.
“I quite understand,” she murmured, tilting her head just a little to regard this new stranger a little more. “Then might I inquire as to who you are?”
The young lady did not smile but rather cleared her throat before inclining her head as though in greeting. “Miss Sarah Crosby,” she said, in a bland tone. “My father is Viscount March.”
The name did not mean anything to Emily, who simply nodded and accepted this information. “I am glad to make your acquaintance, Miss Crosby,” she replied, as the girl lifted her head. “May I now ask why you have sought me out?”
Miss Crosby took in a deep breath. “I know that Miss Bavidge is planning to come and see you very soon,” she said, haltingly. “Might I be permitted to join her?”
This perplexed Emily who, looking at the young Miss Crosby, felt all the more confused as to why such a person would seek out her acquaintance. Miss Bavidge, perhaps, sought it so as to know how to deal with the rumors and gossip that were swirling around both her and her father, but why should Miss Crosby seek out a closer acquaintance?
“You are not tainted by gossip also, are you?” she inquired, frowning just a little.
The lady shook her head. “No. I am not.”
“Then why – ”
Emily found herself cut off by the appearance of one Lord Sutherland, who had come to take her to the dance floor for the quadrille. She had no time with which to speak with Miss Crosby further, quite sure she would lose her in the crowd by the time she returned from the dance.
“Very well,” she said quickly, as Miss Crosby’s face finally lost some of its dull visage. “You will be welcomed along with Miss Bavidge, of course. I will ask Miss Bavidge to inform you of our arrangement. I will expect you both.”
Miss Crosby nodded, although still, she did not smile. “Thank you, Lady Smithton,” she said, as Lord Sutherland bore Emily away. “You are very kind.”
Still entirely mystified as to why she had not only one but two young ladies seeking to come and call on her, Emily pushed the matter from her mind and focused entirely on Lord Sutherland and the quadrille, thinking that, aside from Lord Havisham, this had been a truly wonderful evening. She had managed to rise above the gossip and whispers, had been introduced to some members of the ton who did not seem to care about her late husband’s death and now had something of a mystery with which to occupy her mind.
At least, she thought to herself, wryly, I will have no reason to think of Lord Havisham again. All I need concentrate on is Miss Bavidge and Miss Crosby. He does not even need to enter my thoughts.
Chapter Seven
It was with great curiosity that Emily regarded Miss Bavidge and Miss Crosby as they sat to take tea with her the following Monday afternoon. They were very dissimilar in both stature and features, for Miss Bavidge was slim and tall, with thin features and sharp eyes, whereas Miss Crosby seemed to slump in her chair, with no expression of delight or even interest in her eyes.
“Now,” she began, crisply, once they both had their tea with them. “What is it that you are so urgently wishing to speak to me about?”
Miss Bavidge glanced at Miss Crosby, her cheeks paling a little. Miss Crosby gave a slight shrug, as though resigned to whatever it was her friend had planned, before returning her attention to her teacup.
“Do say something, Miss Bavidge!” Emily exclaimed, growing a little exasperated with the silence that was stretching across the room. “This has been intriguing me ever since we first met and I confess that I have been vastly interested to know why two young ladies such as yourselves are so eager to make my acquaintance.”
Miss Bavidge cleared her throat, set her cup down and folded her hands in her lap.
“And it is very good of you to invite us to your home, when you do not know us in any way and certainly when we were both rather rude in seeking introductions,” she said, softly. “The truth is, Lady Smithton, we are both eager for your help.”
Emily nodded slowly, a slight frown pinching her brow. Had not Miss Crosby said she was not caught up by rumors and the like? “You wish to know how to deal with the rumors and the gossip mongers, whereas Miss Crosby….” She turned her attention to the other young lady but found herself a little lost. “Why are you here, Miss Crosby?”
Miss Crosby shrugged indelicately. “Because it is as Miss Bavidge has said. We are both eager for your help.”
A niggle of annoyance had Emily’s frown deepening. She returned her attention back to Miss Bavidge, who was glancing this way and that, looking now a little pale. “My help in what way, Miss Bavidge?”
The girl bit her lip for a moment. “The truth is, Lady Smithton, we are both entirely without hope. Neither of us have any suitors whatsoever and very little chance of securing one either.”
Emily hesitated for a moment, before regarding them both again with a great deal more consideration. “Am I to understand that you are seeking my aid to secure a husband?”
Miss Bavidge nodded fervently, whilst Miss Crosby sat motionless, her tea now entirely forgotten as it sat on the table in front of her.
“You were very successfully wed to a Marquess, and have then returned to society, entirely transformed,” Miss Bavidge said, sounding almost filled with awe. “You have, from what I have heard, become a true beauty and now traverse society’s waters with ease,” Miss Bavidge continued breathlessly. “Might you, in your wisdom, be able to help us?”
Emily sat back in her chair in a less than ladylike fashion, having been completely taken by surprise. This was not what she had thought Miss Bavidge had come to ask her about at all! She was not simply to issue advice on how to ignore gossip and hold one’s head up high throughout it all but, if she was correct in her understanding, was to attempt to find these young ladies a husband! The seriousness of the matter began to hit her, hard. These two young ladies would both be spinsters very soon, if she did not aid them, but what did she know of society and how to pull a gentleman’s interest towards oneself? She had not been able to do so with Lord Havisham! When she had needed him the most, believing him to feel that same strong affection as she, he had turned away from her. No, she had no great skill in drawing the attentions and affections of a gentleman!
“I think we have made a mistake coming here, Miss Bavidge.”
Before Emily could say anything, Miss Crosby, who had been mostly silent until this point, rose to her feet and gave her friend a pointed look. Miss Bavidge blushed furiously and rose also, stammering an apology and, together, they began to make their way towards the door. It seemed Emily’ silence had discouraged Miss Crosby to the point that she now wanted to leave in order to drag the remains of her dignity with her.
Recovering herself a little, Emily managed to halt their progress. “I say, Miss Crosby, whatever gave you the impression that I wished you to leave?”
Miss Crosby and Miss Bavidge turned towards her at once, although Miss Bavidge was the only one who began to turn back towards her seat. Miss Crosby, however, did not even look in that direction, turning to face Emily and regarding her with a sharp eye.
“To be frank, Lady Smithton, you appear shocked rather than pleased at Miss Bavidge’s request and your lack of an immediate respo
nse gives me in mind that you are likely to refuse us. To save us further embarrassment – which we already have a good deal – I think it best to leave your home and bid you farewell.”
Emily watched Miss Crosby carefully and saw, for the first time, a flicker of anguish in her otherwise dull expression. The girl had become well used to hiding what she felt from others, it seemed, but Emily could still make it out. Miss Crosby was desperate enough for Emily’s help that she had sought her out at Lady Clarke’s ball without introduction but now was ready to leave without more than a moment’s notice. Was it shame that motivated her? Or was she speaking the truth when she stated that she believed Emily had been about to refuse them? Emily swallowed hard, feeling a swell of sympathy for Miss Crosby. There was more to this lady than was being immediately revealed and Emily found that she did not want to immediately turn Miss Crosby away, tugging hope from her as she did so. No, instead she wanted to find a way to aid them in whatever way they wished.
“Please,” she said, rising to her feet and extending a hand towards Miss Crosby. “Please do come and sit down again, Miss Crosby.” She smiled at the young lady and watched with relief as she did as Emily asked, albeit with some degree of hesitation. “You have taken me a little by surprise, that is all. From what I understand, you are asking me to help you find husbands when, I confess, I am not exactly a matchmaker!”
Miss Bavidge, who had been lingering somewhere between Miss Crosby and the chair, now hurried back to her seat with an earnest expression on her face. “Oh, but you have so much more experience that we do, even though we are not exactly in our first flush of youth!”
Emily frowned, seating herself again. “You cannot be on the shelf yet.”
Miss Crosby cleared her throat as she sat down rather primly. “I believe we are very close to being referred to as ‘spinsters’, Lady Smithton. You are well aware, I am sure, that society does not take kindly to young ladies who reach twenty years of age without securing a partner for themselves. I’m afraid we shall both be on the shelf very soon.”
