by Rose Pearson
“Lord Ruddington,” Sarah murmured, trying to appear as unaffected as possible. “Good afternoon.” She kept her voice low, not wanting to interrupt the quiet peace of the bookshop.”
Lord Ruddington cleared his throat abruptly, cutting through the otherwise silent bookshop with a harshness than made her wince.
“Miss Crosby,” he replied, with a curt bow. “I did not expect to see you here.”
She glanced about her, hearing his voice reverberate off the walls and seeing him drop his head for a moment, clearly a little embarrassed at how loud he had been.
“My apologies,” he murmured, coming a little closer to her and making her breath catch with the awareness that they were, once again, almost entirely alone. There were one or two others within the bookshop as well, she knew, but whether or not they had both descended the stairs, she could not say. Had the young lady Lord Ruddington had walked in with also gone back down the stairs?
“Have you found anything interesting?”
“Interesting?” she repeated, her voice thin and her cheeks filling with color.
“The book.” He gestured towards the book she had clutched in her hands, which Sarah only realized she still held as she glanced down at it. “Is it of interest?”
She swallowed hard, trying desperately to remember what she had been reading before he had appeared. When he was standing close to her, when he was almost entirely alone with her, she could not seem to think clearly.
“I—yes,” she stammered, her cheeks filling with color as she tried to smile. “Yes. A collection of short stories, I believe. I had thought to—”
“An excellent choice,” he interrupted, still not smiling at her but rather looking back at her with an almost grave expression.
“I thank you,” she murmured, still a little surprised with his strange, somewhat awkward demeanor. He had been taken aback to see her here, yes, but why was there now this strange tension hovering between them? “Have you had a pleasant afternoon, Lord Ruddington?”
He looked at her for a long moment before answering. “Yes,” he replied, somewhat tightly. “I have had an excellent afternoon.”
“I did see you from the window,” she said, not quite sure what else there was to say. “It seems like the day is very fine indeed.” She did not mention the lady she had seen walking with him, however, thinking Lord Ruddington himself would speak of her. Waiting quietly, she tried to smile at him, but her lips remained fixed tight, refusing to move.
“Might you wish to linger a little longer here? There may be more books that might catch your eye.” This peculiar remark was then joined by a small, tight smile that did not reach his eyes. He did not comment on what she had said about seeing him walking from the window, although it was surely obvious to him that she had not only seen him, but also the young lady in question. “I would be glad to purchase them for you. Just inform the proprietor to send the bill to me.”
Sarah blinked in surprise, not entirely certain what to say. That was a very kind offer, of course, but she certainly had not expected it. To be so generous as to offer to purchase not only one book, but two or three, was quite a remarkable gesture. But what was the reason behind it?
“I must go, unfortunately,” Lord Ruddington said abruptly. “Do excuse me, Miss Crosby.” Bowing, he turned away from her only to glance back. “And do remember to have the bill sent to me, Miss Crosby. I am certain you will find a good many books here that you might wish to purchase, and I would be glad to pay for them all. Good day.”
“Good day,” Sarah echoed, her voice thin with the shock of his kind gesture and the confusion that came with it. She could do nothing but stand quietly, waiting until she heard his footsteps descending the stairs that led him back to his companion. She emerged from between the bookshelves slowly as though afraid that someone else might be watching her, might have heard what had passed between herself and Lord Ruddington, but no one else seemed to be present. She walked forward slowly, glancing in between each of the bookcases and seeing no other person there.
So, she had been entirely alone with Lord Ruddington. That was not at all wise, for anyone might have stumbled upon them! Whilst she was considered nothing more than a companion, Sarah knew her reputation was still expected to be entirely pristine.
“Miss Crosby?”
Lady Smithton’s gentle tones floated up towards Sarah as she hurried towards the staircase, making sure to descend slowly and with as much decorum as she could, half expecting to see Lord Ruddington still lingering below.
However, there was no sign of him.
“You have found a book to purchase, I see!” Lady Smithton said, sounding pleased. “Wonderful. Do come and add it to the three I have chosen for myself—I confess I always have excellent intentions when it comes to reading, but I never quite manage to achieve what I desire!” She smiled warmly at Sarah as she reached her, glancing at the book Sarah held in her hand. “Are you quite ready to depart?”
“I…” Sarah frowned, wanting to rub at her forehead to remove the dull ache that was beginning to form there. “I met—what I mean to say is, Lord Ruddington discovered me upstairs, Lady Smithton. He was with another young lady, but she returned below, and we were left in conversation for some minutes.” She could feel heat climbing into her face, knowing that there was no use in hiding anything from Lady Smithton. “I did not mean to be alone with him, Lady Smithton, truly, but before he departed, he asked me to place any books I thought to buy on his account. He asked me to have the proprietor send the bill to him.” Keeping her voice low, she waited for Lady Smithton’s judgment to fall, half expecting the lady to turn away from her at once, ashamed by her lack of wisdom.
“But that is quite wonderful!”
Sarah’s head lifted at once, looking at Lady Smithton in astonishment.
“Of course you must do as he asked!” the lady continued, appearing to be rather excited. “And not only with one book, Sarah; you must have at least two!”
Continuing to be greatly surprised at Lady Smithton’s reaction, Sarah could only stare at her friend agog, not quite understanding why the lady appeared to be so thrilled at such a prospect. Did she not understand that Sarah had been alone with a gentleman, even if unintentionally so?
“Come now, Sarah, come now,” Lady Smithton said quickly, grasping Sarah’s arm and tugging her gently in the direction of the books. “You must find another! Thereafter, you will be able to write to Lord Ruddington and thank him for his very generous kindness to you.” She smiled brightly at Sarah, who felt her heart turn over. “And most likely, being the polite and proper gentleman, he will reply to you with a letter of his own.”
Sarah blushed at once, aware of what Lady Smithton was suggesting but finding she could not quite agree. “I think that the offer came from a feeling of awkwardness on his part, nothing more,” she said firmly. “Lord Ruddington came in with a young lady but made no mention of her to me. I did think that—”
“I confess I was caught up in the beginnings of a most wonderful novel and did not see anyone come in or go out,” Lady Smithton interrupted, squeezing Sarah’s arm gently. “Now, you may think otherwise, but I have a suspicion that Lord Ruddington may be a little taken with you, Sarah, and that should be encouraged.”
“But he is seeking to court my cousin,” Sarah protested weakly as Lady Smithton began to look through the books. “I have nothing compared to Sophia—no beauty, no wit, no—”
Lady Smithton put the book in her hands down and turned towards Sarah, settling her hands on her shoulders and looking deeply into her eyes.
“He has not yet sought to court your cousin, has he?” she asked as Sarah shook her head. “Then he has not yet completely decided on what his next course of action ought to be. Trust me when I say there is more to his consideration of you than a mere acquaintance, Miss Crosby. Do as I ask and see what may come of it.” She smiled and lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “And if there is nothing there in the end, then I beli
eve there will be many other gentlemen interested in your company, Miss Crosby. Have no fear of that.”
Sarah wanted to believe her but found her heart could not allow her to do so. To believe Lord Ruddington might have an interest in her was too much to take in, too much to accept. Her feelings for Lord Ruddington confused her so terribly that to add more to that confusion was overwhelming.
“Here,” Lady Smithton said gently as though she knew precisely what Sarah was feeling. “Take this book and add it to the one you have already chosen.” She held out the book until Sarah took it, continuing to smile her encouragement. “And now we shall do as Lord Ruddington suggested and have the bill sent to him.” Pressing Sarah’s hand again, she leaned a little closer. “You see, Miss Crosby, you are worthy of affection and consideration, just as Miss Marks is. All you need do is believe it.”
And as Sarah moved towards the proprietor, the books now heavy in her hands, she felt, for the first time, the very beginnings of hope stirring in her soul and bringing a fresh lightness to her spirits. It was as Lady Smithton said. All she had to do was allow herself to believe that she was worthy of affection and then, who knew what might occur thereafter?
Chapter Eight
Daniel read the note from Miss Crosby at least three times before he could bring himself to put it down. It was short and to the point but very well written, and he could practically feel her appreciation. Of course, he would have to return a short note to her, but it did not need to be particularly embellished. He would just reassure her he had been glad to do so and hoped she would enjoy the books she had chosen. That was all.
Frustrated, he rose and began to pace up and down the drawing-room, irritated with his behavior. He had seen Miss Crosby and panicked, not knowing what to do or what he ought to say. The last thing he wanted was for her to enquire after Mrs. Laurencekirk, whom he had been accompanying, but he had been unable to hide from the curiosity in her eyes. Curiosity that had been accompanied by a little embarrassment, he thought, reflecting on how she had looked at him, how she had struggled to answer when he had asked her about the book in her hand. Most likely, she had just been astonished at his sudden presence, just as he had been at hers, and had not known what to say.
Or mayhap she is drawn to you as you are drawn to her, he found himself thinking, his heart racing furiously as he walked to the window and looked out, not focusing on anything in particular. He had not wanted to admit as much, but it stood out starkly to him, wanting to make him see the truth that was already there within his heart. Of course, he had no desire even to acknowledge such an interest in Miss Crosby and so was turning from it with every bit of strength he could.
But he could not allow himself to think long upon her, nor allow the desire to grow closer to her to become even more intense. After speaking with Mrs. Laurencekirk today, he had become even more determined to follow through with his chosen plan, though he had not spoken to Mrs. Laurencekirk of it.
“I must,” he told himself, firmly, thinking about what he must do and finding his heart twisting with a sudden awareness of just how difficult a matter it would be. “I must do this. I cannot become distracted. I cannot allow myself to become so overwrought that I turn from my plan.” Thus said and with his determination growing all the stronger, he turned from the window and rang the bell, deciding he would have the carriage prepared. He had not yet asked Miss Marks if he might court her, and time was growing increasingly short. Miss Marks was, he knew, quite flighty and did like to encourage the attentions of as many gentlemen as she could, which did mean she might refuse him. Frowning, Daniel glanced at his reflection in the mirror as he thought about what to do.
And then it came to him.
A broad smile plastered itself across his face as he felt his sense of victory grow. How much of a delight it would be to speak to Miss Marks’ father, Viscount Britton! He would have to lay out his intentions for Miss Marks and give the impression that he had found himself in love with the young lady, all in the hope that Viscount Britton might be convinced. That way, Daniel could be assured Miss Marks would be his, for no daughter would turn from her father’s decisions, even if she did not like it, for a father’s wisdom and judgment must be respected at all times. Smiling to himself and ignoring the stab of guilt that plunged itself into his heart at the thought of what he was to do, Daniel looked at his reflection in the large mirror that hung over the fireplace. He would have to ensure he looked his very best for this particular conversation, for he wanted to give Lord Britton no reason to consider refusing him. This had to go well, else the entirety of his plan could collapse without warning.
“The master will see you now, Lord Ruddington.”
Daniel murmured his thanks, inwardly feeling a jolt of anxiousness as he followed after the butler, who led him through the townhouse towards whatever room it was that Lord Britton was in at present. Daniel’s stomach roiled for a moment, but he pushed the sensation away with an effort, knowing he had to have the very best of appearances. It was a relief to know Miss Marks herself was gone from the house at this time, for he had enquired about her presence but been informed that she had gone to Hyde Park for the fashionable hour. Most likely, that would be with Miss Crosby also, which meant she too would not be within the house—and that awareness brought Daniel some relief. The very last thing he wanted was to see Miss Crosby again, only a day after their last meeting. The sight of her might take some of his focus from him, might bend his mind towards confusion once more, and he could not bear that. He had to remain focused and poised, and Miss Crosby’s presence would not aid that.
“This way, my lord,” the butler murmured, gesturing him towards a door. Stepping forward, he held the door open wide and announced Daniel’s arrival. Daniel, setting his shoulders, lifting his chin, and putting on a determined expression, walked into the study and bowed at once, before he had even had time to properly ascertain where Lord Britton was.
“Lord Ruddington,” came a booming voice as Daniel raised his head, seeing the gentleman rising from behind his desk. “Do come in, sir.”
“I apologize for my lack of warning caused by my eagerness to call upon you,” Daniel said quickly as Lord Britton grinned at him. “The urge to do so quite overcame me, and I confess that I—”
“Nothing to apologize about in the least!” Lord Britton declared, gesturing for Daniel to sit down in an overstuffed armchair whilst he took the one opposite. “And I do hope you do not mind Miss Crosby’s presence, Lord Ruddington. She is busy sorting through some papers for me and dealing with one or two pieces of correspondence.”
Ice dropped into Daniel’s stomach. He had not seen Miss Crosby when he had first entered, focusing his gaze on Lord Britton, but now that he looked to his left, he saw Miss Crosby inclining her head towards him, her eyes fixed on his and holding a good many questions within her gaze. She was seated at a small desk with what appeared to be a large number of papers spread about it. There were some on her lap and some on the floor by her feet. Little wonder that she had not risen to her feet to curtsy as he had entered!
“No, no,” he stammered, all too aware that Miss Crosby had seen Mrs. Laurencekirk as they had walked into the bookshop together. What he had come to say to Lord Britton now seemed to die on his lips, the urgency fading away with a quickness that left him bleak and desolate. He did not want to speak of Miss Marks any longer, not when Miss Crosby was present.
“So,” Lord Britton interrupted his thoughts, his voice brash and eager. “What is it that brings you here today, Lord Ruddington?” He sat forward in his chair, his eyes keen. “Something about my daughter, mayhap?” Chuckling as Daniel threw him a startled glance, he got up and poured two glasses of brandy, handing one to Daniel before sitting back down again. “You are not the first gentleman to have come seeking my permission to court the girl, Lord Ruddington.”
Daniel cleared his throat, not taking a single sip of the brandy. He had to do this without the liquor swirling through his veins.
He had to speak honestly and openly, telling Lord Britton everything he would need to hear before he could even consider granting Daniel permission.
“Lord Britton,” he began, trying to keep his voice low so that Miss Crosby would not overhear him. “I have spent a little time with your beautiful daughter and cannot help but long for more.” The words tripped off his tongue with ease, even though he knew he felt nothing for the lady and was speaking only lies. “Her conversation is witty and bright, her smile beautiful, her manner elegant, and simply being in her company brings me such happiness that I can only do as my heart orders me.”
Lord Britton raised one eyebrow, then took a swig of his brandy. “A very pretty speech, Lord Ruddington,” he said as though Daniel had said precisely what Lord Britton had thought he might. “You say you care for my daughter?”
“I think her to be quite lovely,” Daniel said hastily. “I can think of nothing more wonderful than to be granted permission to court her.”
“And thereafter, propose,” Lord Britton added as Daniel tried to nod fervently, feeling that he was not quite managing to be as successful as he had hoped. There was something in Lord Britton’s eye that spoke of steel and grit as though he had seen too many gentlemen do the very same as Daniel, only to be rejected thereafter.
“If this displeases you in some way—if I displease you in some way, Lord Britton, then I can only apologize,” Daniel stammered, going hot all over and feeling a slight flush creep up his neck. “I do speak the truth.” That statement was, in itself, a lie, for he felt nothing genuine for Miss Marks. He did not find her conversation to be witty, did not think her manner to be overly elegant, and certainly did not feel a good deal of happiness at her company, yet he had said each statement with such a fierce determination that he could only pray Lord Britton would accept him.
