by Rose Pearson
Amelia’s throat worked furiously as she blinked back tears. She had been quite determined that everything Lord Montague had said in his letter had been solely for his own purposes, for his own desires. She had convinced herself his words meant nothing and they were said only to encourage her affections. But now, it seemed, she was being given the opportunity to discover whether or not it was the truth.
“I—I do not know what to do,” she whispered as Lady Smithton moved back towards her, graceful as ever. “What if he does not do as you both seem to expect?”
“Then you will feel a great deal of pain,” Lady Smithton replied without hesitation. “I would not pretend to you that it will be easy to endure, Lady Amelia, but I must admit, I do not believe it will be as you fear.” Holding Amelia’s gaze, steadily, Lady Smithton gestured towards the door. “Lord Havisham met Lord Montague in Whites. Lord Montague spoke to him there, told him he had every intention of speaking to Lord Thornhill so that Lord Davidson could have no hold over him any longer. Lord Havisham then insisted on arranging the meeting here, so you, Lady Amelia, might be able to know the truth. The fact that Lord Montague has appeared, just as he stated he would, gives the impression he is just as willing as before to state the truth to Lord Thornhill.”
Amelia sucked in a breath, her stomach tightening. “But he will be punished severely,” she whispered, realizing the enormity of what Lord Montague was about to do. “Lord Thornhill will bring down grave consequences upon his head—although I will not state they are not deserved.” She swallowed hard, seeing Lady Smithton nod in agreement. If Lord Montague has truly willing to speak to Lord Thornhill, to admit his fault, and thereby remove Lord Davidson’s hold on him, then Amelia would have to admit she had been mistaken about his motivations to write to her in such a way. All she had to do was to rise to her feet, walk across the room, and sit down so that she could overhear the conversations.
A third, louder voice echoed from the room next to the parlor, making Lady Smithton look round.
“You must decide, Lady Amelia,” she said urgently, looking back at Amelia quickly. “It seems Lord Thornhill has arrived.”
Amelia took in a long breath, steadying her composure. Her heart began to quicken as she got to her feet, her chin lifting a little as she nodded to Lady Smithton.
“I will listen,” she said softly. “But what I shall do thereafter, I cannot say.”
Lady Smithton smiled and beckoned her towards the other side of the room. “Then come,” she murmured as Mrs. Peters rose to her feet to join them. “And let us listen together.”
Chapter Thirteen
Oliver could not remember an occasion when he had felt like this. His palms were sweaty, his throat feeling like sandpaper, and his voice a little hoarse as he greeted Lord Thornhill. Moisture beaded on his forehead as Lord Havisham gestured for both gentlemen to sit down.
Licking his lips, he grunted his thanks as Lord Havisham handed him a glass of whisky, knowing full well he would need a good deal of courage to speak as openly and as honestly as he was about to. In his mind, he allowed himself to remember Lady Amelia, knowing he was doing this because of her. She had come into his life in a most unexpected fashion, even though he had never intended to have her invade almost every part of his heart and mind. Had he never met her, had he never forced himself towards her, then he might now be continuing as the rogue he had always been. He had a good deal to thank Lady Amelia for, even if she would never belong to him in the way he had once hoped. He could now go forward, even with the consequences Lord Thornhill was sure to bring, knowing his life had forever been changed.
“Lord Montague,” Lord Thornhill muttered, observing Oliver with a shrewd eye. “I did not expect you to be present this afternoon.”
Oliver cleared his throat before taking a small sip of whisky. Lord Thornhill, being an older gentleman, had a good deal of gravitas about him. There was a presence that filled the room, leaving Oliver with the uncomfortable impression that Lord Thornhill might already be aware of the reasons for this strange meeting.
“I did intend to call upon you myself,” he began, irritated with himself that his voice was so hoarse. “But Lord Havisham suggested it might be easier if a meeting was arranged at his townhouse.”
Lord Thornhill eyed Lord Havisham for a moment before returning a quizzical eye to Oliver. “And what you mean by that is Lord Havisham did not believe I would be willing to meet with you, Lord Montague,” he said, betraying his sharp and calculating mind. “To which, I state, he would have been quite correct.” His brow lowered, his lips pulling tight for a moment as he eyed Oliver. “You are not the sort of gentleman I would ever wish to have in my acquaintance.”
Oliver winced, looking away from Lord Thornhill as the hard truth hit him square between the brows. “I can well understand that,” he stated, honestly, not quite looking at Lord Thornhill. “I confess now I have turned from that way of living, Lord Thornhill, but there are things I must still do to ensure I have set my back to it completely.”
“Oh?” Lord Thornhill lifted one eyebrow, eyeing Oliver carefully. “And what is it you wish to say to me?”
Oliver hesitated, his throat closing as everything in him began to scream a warning. If he told Lord Thornhill the truth, then the consequences that might follow could be unbearable. He would not be able to hold his head up in society for years to come.
And yet, he knew he had to tell the gentleman the truth. Lady Amelia meant so much to him that he could not allow Lord Davidson to have a chance of winning his bet. He had to tell Lord Thornhill what he had done.
“I am a rogue,” he stated honestly, aware his voice was rough and feeling a tension rattle all through him. “I will not pretend otherwise, Lord Thornhill. My reputation is as such as I am aware that I have brought much shame to myself, which I fear I shall never be free from.”
Lord Thornhill said nothing but merely took a sip of his brandy whilst Lord Havisham looked on, encouraging Oliver by his mere presence. Taking in another long breath, Oliver let it out slowly and tried to find the right words to say.
“I have often enjoyed the kisses of young debutantes but have never once pursued them further than that,” he stated, fully aware such a thing was not, by any means, an accolade. “However, I have enjoyed the company of other ladies of the ton, who are able to share their affections without concern.” This was, of course, an odd way of trying to state the truth, but Oliver did not want to blurt out that he had enjoyed a warm acquaintance with Lady Thornhill last season, for fear of what might occur thereafter. He was trying his best to put it in as careful a way as possible, in the hope that Lord Thornhill might be able to understand the truth without Oliver having to fully express it. “Most were wealthy and independent widows, whilst one or two of my acquaintances merely avoided their husbands.” Cringing inwardly, he looked towards Lord Thornhill, seeing the man’s expression darken and feeling quite certain the gentleman knew of what he was speaking. “These…acquaintances have now come to an end and have been over for at least a year or more, but I will not pretend they did not occur.”
There was nothing but silence for some minutes. Lord Thornhill did not take his eyes off Oliver, whilst Lord Havisham swirled his drink in his glass but said nothing. The tension grew steadily, with the atmosphere darkening with every second that passed. It was as if a gathering storm had entered the townhouse, with dark clouds swirling above Oliver’s head and a lightning bolt threatening to strike him at any moment. He could do nothing other than wait, seeing how Lord Thornhill’s face was growing angrier with every moment that passed.
“You mean to tell me, Lord Montague, you have enjoyed a closeness with my wife?”
The question hung in the air for a moment, the answer burning on Oliver’s lips. He could deny it, could pretend this was not at all what he had meant, but in doing so, it would only be to save his reputation. That was not the sort of gentleman he was any longer. He was not the arrogant, selfish cad he had once been.
�
��That is precisely what I am telling you,” he said honestly. “I can only apologize, Lord Thornhill, for the trouble and the strife I have caused you.”
Lord Thornhill’s jaw worked furiously for a moment or two, his eyes narrowing all the more. “And might I ask why you are so eager to tell me this, Lord Montague?” he rasped, his hand white on the whisky glass. “Surely you must know I do not take such a slight lightly?”
Oliver nodded. “I am fully aware of what might follow,” he said honestly. “I will not pretend I have not done wrong, Lord Thornhill, for my guilt is plain before me.” Swallowing a quick mouthful of whisky, he drew in a long breath. “I tell you this so that the lady I care for will not bear any consequences for my foolish actions.” Again, a vision of Lady Amelia came to his mind, and he found his determination bolstered. “I was foolish enough to be swayed by a gentleman who wanted to use my indiscretions against me. In short, I treated her most ill and, in doing so, realized just how cruel I have become.” His head lowered as the weight of his sins bore down on him again, their fierceness biting at his heart. “I do not deserve the affections of that particular lady, and yet she gave them to me regardless. I will not permit her to be further used by this particular gentleman, nor by myself for that matter. Therefore, to ensure such a thing does not occur, I sought to confess the truth to you, Lord Thornhill.”
Much to Oliver’s surprise, Lord Thornhill let out a bark of laughter. Laughter that was filled with disbelief and mockery as opposed to mirth.
“Surely you cannot expect me to believe for one moment that you have any sort of true affection for a lady of the ton!” Lord Thornhill laughed, shaking his head. “You are saying this only to encourage me not to punish you for what you have done!”
Oliver shook his head, feeling his heart sink into his boots. “I would try to convince you otherwise, Lord Thornhill, but I know very well my reputation does not do anything to encourage you to believe I am telling the truth.”
“No,” Lord Thornhill agreed, with a mocking smile. “It does not. I know you to be a manipulative, cruel sort who cares nothing for others and will use all manner of ways to get what you desire. Why, then, should I believe you now?”
There was no answer to this, Oliver knew. He could not defend himself. There was nothing he could say that would make Lord Thornhill believe him.
“If I might,” Lord Havisham interrupted, making Oliver lift his head. “I would not have arranged this meeting, Lord Thornhill, unless I believed Lord Montague was genuine in his affections. There is a desire here to change, and I must support that, for the sake of the lady in question.”
Lord Thornhill snorted in apparent disdain but made no further remark.
“I will accept whatever consequences you wish to throw at me,” Oliver stated, quietly, seeing Lord Thornhill’s eyes swivel back to him. “I accept them without hesitation nor protest. They are entirely what I deserve.”
There was silence for some moments, but Oliver found a small sense of peace begin to fill him. He had done what he had sought to do and, in doing so, had found a release that he had not even known he needed. There was nothing to tie him to Lord Davidson’s will any longer and, with the letter he had written to Lady Amelia, she too would know the truth. His heart ached in knowing she would, most likely, turn away from him completely, but there came a contentment in knowing what he had done was the right thing.
“Lord Montague,” Lord Thornhill grated, his expression still one of sheer fury. “I am not inclined to believe a word of what you say. You have done a great ill to my good name.”
“I am ready to bear my shame,” Oliver replied calmly. “I will return to my estate and will not come to London again.”
Lord Thornhill shook his head, his lip curling. “I should call you out for it,” he grated, harshly. “I should seek to pull your heart from your chest for the disgrace you have brought on me.” He took in a long breath as if he were still deciding whether or not he ought to do such a thing. “But I shall not. I know full well you are not the only person to blame in this sordid circumstance.”
Oliver leaned forward in his chair, looking at Lord Thornhill directly. “I was the one who encouraged your wife, Lord Thornhill,” he said bluntly. “I will bear the entirety of the blame without hesitation.”
Lord Thornhill held Oliver’s gaze. “That may be so, but to speak aloud of what has occurred will only reveal the depths of my shame to all of society.” He bit his lip and then glanced at Lord Havisham. “You say only one other gentleman is aware of what occurred?”
“Lord Davidson,” Lord Havisham said without hesitation. “Yes, I believe so.” He looked towards Oliver, who nodded, feeling a trifle confused. He had expected Lord Thornhill to do everything he could to shame and disgrace him for what he had done, but now it seemed Lord Thornhill was going to do all he could to hide Oliver’s misdemeanors from the world.
“Then I shall speak to him,” Lord Thornhill grated, turning back towards Oliver. “Although I must demand you do as you have stated, Lord Montague. I do not wish to see you within society for some time.”
Oliver nodded, a wave of relief crashing over him. This was not at all what he had expected, given Lord Thornhill was known to be a hard man. “But of course.”
Lord Thornhill rose to his feet, his expression still black with anger. “I will not say I appreciate your honesty, Lord Montague,” he muttered, turning away from Oliver. “But I will state it has surprised me. Although I cannot believe you truly have an affection for a lady of the ton.” He threw a dark glance towards Oliver, who rose to his feet also. “You simply did not wish Lord Davidson to hold this over you, I think.”
“I care very deeply for her,” Oliver replied with a great deal of firmness in his voice. “In fact, Lord Thornhill, I consider myself in love with her. I believe I have lost her entirely, however, given just how cruelly I have treated her, but I will never regret allowing my heart to open towards her. She has shown me what courage is, Lord Thornhill. She has endured a good deal of mockery from the ton, has seen their cruelty and their harshness, and has shown me my part in it. I have been forced to look at my own character and to see my failings there, staring back starkly at me.” He shook his head, thinking of just how much he cared for Lady Amelia when he knew he was not worthy of her. “I love her deeply, Lord Thornhill, and will carry her within my heart for the rest of my days.”
Just as Lord Thornhill was about to open his mouth, just as he was about to say something in response, a door to Oliver’s left swung open. He had not even noticed the door before but, turning towards it, he was utterly astonished to see Lady Amelia now stood framed in the doorway. Her eyes were fixed on his, her face pale but a beautiful smile beginning to spread across her face.
“You have proven your love for me, Lord Montague,” she whispered, her voice sounding like a thunderclap. “I did not want to believe it, I did not want to trust you, but now I see your heart is true.”
He blinked rapidly, overcome with astonishment. Lady Amelia began to walk towards him slowly, her limp barely noticeable. She held her hands out to him, and it was all Oliver could do to lift his own, hardly able to believe it was she who now stood before him.
“You—you heard everything?” he asked hoarsely, not even noticing Mrs. Peters nor Lady Smithton walking into the room behind Lady Amelia. “I did not know you would be there.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes glistening with tears. “Nor did I know you would be present,” she answered, her fingers twining with his. “I felt such fear in reading your letter. I let myself believe it was just another ploy to win this bet, but now that I have heard you speak with such honesty to Lord Thornhill, I know now every word you wrote was the truth.” A slight blush caught her cheeks. “You will not be angry with me for eavesdropping, I hope?”
Oliver could not speak, such was the lump in his throat. Looking down into Lady Amelia’s face, he felt the desire to crush her against him grow steadily within him as though this would
prove to him she was, in fact, truly standing before him.
“I think we shall retire to the parlor,” Lady Smithton said, interrupting the otherwise silent room. “Lord Havisham, are you escorting Lord Thornhill to the door?”
In a few minutes, the room had emptied itself of Mrs. Peters, Lady Smithton, Lord Havisham, and Lord Thornhill, leaving Oliver standing alone with Lady Amelia. His heart began to race, his thoughts tumbling over each other as he fought to find the words to say.
And then, Lady Amelia leaned into him, her head resting on his chest and her hands loosening from his. There seemed to be nothing to say for the present moment, for Oliver could only wrap his arms about her waist and hold her close, feeling as though finally, in the midst of his darkness, there had come a small but beautiful light. Light that was none other than Lady Amelia.
Epilogue
Amelia had never been this close to a gentleman before and yet, wrapped in Lord Montague’s arms, it felt as though this was the only place she was meant to be. Hearing everything Lord Montague had said to Lord Thornhill had brought her out of her dark misery and into a fresh and wonderful hope that had filled her entire being until she had been quite unable to stay away from him any longer. Upon hearing his declaration of love, she had flung open the door and fixed her eyes upon his.
The surge of happiness that now ran through her chased every little bit of doubt and fear away. Lord Montague loved her. She loved him. He had turned his back on his previous way of living and had, instead, chosen to be an honest gentleman. He had given up everything to protect her, and she loved him all the more for it.
“I am not worthy of you, Amelia.”
His voice was muffled, his words whispered into the nape of her neck.
“You have shown me your words and your devotion to me are true,” she whispered back, closing her eyes as she wound her arms about his neck. “You told Lord Thornhill the truth so that Lord Davidson would have no hold upon you. You chose to turn your back on me so that I would not do as Lord Davidson had wagered I might.” Opening her eyes, she lifted her gaze to his, seeing just how close his face was now to hers and feeling a thrill of anticipation run up her spine. “But how can I pretend I do not have a love for you when it has already taken over me?”
