by Ross Anthony
“And we’re one of them. Peter, calm down. Nothing is going to happen to us.”
“This is real, Mīlo! Our president has just been assassinated. He was an awful, unintelligible man, but the one coming…” he sighed. “I know I’ve said it before, but this country is more unstable than ever before.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, trailing off. “The airport was complete chaos the other day.”
“That’s only the beginning.”
We sat outside campus, I on the grass under the tree, and Peter laid out on his back on the bench seat next to me.
I went quiet, as I’d grown bored with the politics.
“Hey, Mĭlo,” shouted a familiar voice.
I looked over to see Nicolas walking toward us.
Peter shot up quickly.
“Oh, hey Pete,” he said.
“Nick,” he nodded.
It was interesting to see the interaction between the two of them. They didn’t bother to look each other in the eye. I sensed a deep history between them, one that neither seemed proud of. It must’ve had something involving Moose, as they all went to school together, and Moose and Nicolas appeared to be good friends. Peter had made his feelings about them very clear before.
“What’s up?” I asked, trying to contain my eagerness.
“What’re you doing today?” he inquired.
I paused for a moment, using the silence to make it seem as though maybe my schedule was booked up. Then it occurred to me that we were actually scheduled to be in Greece.
“Nothing,” I replied acquiescently, “I was supposed to be seeing the Parthenon today, but here we are.”
He let out a sly grin. “Come,” he demanded, putting out his hand to pull me up.
I crossed my arms in hesitation, though at the same time, it was in effort to tame the butterflies within me. “Where are we going?” I was also anxious because, despite my attraction to him, he was ultimately still a stranger.
A stranger who had established interest in me, revoked it, and was now standing before me, insisting that I leave to go somewhere with him. What if he were to do it again? It would just be another disappointment. In addition, he was friends with a group of men who got themselves off on being assholes.
Not to mention, a piece of me wanted to sulk in the fact that I didn’t get to go on my dream trip.
“Don’t be a child,” he grinned. “Come on.”
“Not until you tell me where we are going.”
“If you give me your hand, you’ll see,” he insisted.
I rolled my eyes and turned out a smile. “Fine.” I extended my hand, and he pulled me up with little effort, causing my heart to rev to untested speeds.
We started to walk away together, though he kept a couple of inches between us as he led by a few extra steps.
“I’ll just be here, I guess,” called Peter. “Don’t worry, I’ll find something to do, not like I’m free or anything...”
We tried to ignore him as we moved further away, until all we could hear from him was faint mumbling.
Nicolas brought me to his vehicle, which was a weathered, single-cab, red pickup truck. No signs of wear, but the rounded style proved its age, compared to the more boxy styles that were trending at the time. It was not what I expected from a man who wore Jessu branded clothing.
The man was always surprising me. Despite seemingly having access to excess amounts of luxury, he possessed so much modesty.
He pulled open the passenger side door and closed it behind me as I slid into position on the bench seat.
I was enjoying the gentlemanly courtship. I’d never been treated in such a way that made me feel like the only person in the world.
Overall, his vehicle was tidy, with the exception of the delivery polo I’d seen him in at the hospital. It was wrinkly from having been thrown onto the seat. The truck smelled just like him, woodsy with a hint of spice.
“There’s this place I always enjoyed going to as a kid,” he said, turning the key in the ignition. “I think you’re going to like it.” He looked at me with a twinkle of joy in his eyes.
The engine started to rumble. As he turned to look out the back window, he stopped to glance at me. Biting gently down on his bottom lip, we both let out a giggle of desire. He reversed slowly out of the parking spot before peeling out and speeding off toward the undisclosed destination.
“Why are you doing this?” I questioned.
“Because you don’t get to go to Greece,” he looked at me, enrapturing me, yet again with the mystery that he was. He looked back to the road. “I just know how badly you wanted to go,” he shrugged.
There was something in the way he said it that led my intuition to believe that he may have been the one to leave the money for me.
“You’re the one who signed my interest form and left that money behind, aren’t you?”
His right hand was on the wheel, and the other arm was relaxing in the open window. The breeze from the ocean blew in from his side, tossing his perfectly dark hair.
He grinned, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Yes he did.
“Well, thank you. How’d you forge my signature?”
“No one looks at those,” he scoffed.
“Well it was too much.”
“Eh, money holds no value, to me. People and experiences mean so much more, and if I can help with that, then I do.”
I felt like I was back in middle school, just seeing a man for the first time.
“You’re truly amazing,” I said in awe.
“Ah, don’t speak so soon.” He turned the radio up louder, using the music as a period at the end of a sentence.
Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” played, and he sang along in a surprisingly nice baritone voice. My mom played their music frequently when I was growing up. She would sing along to every word, every note and inflection perfectly, just as Nicolas was doing now.
Watching him in that moment put me at ease, though I didn’t understand what he saw in me, or why he was going the extra mile for a man who acted as standoffish as I did in the beginning.
He continued driving up a hillside until the shoreline was out of sight,only the tops of buildings visible .
The sun hung just under noon’s high as we pulled in front of a large igloo-like structure. The sign read Dugger’s Planetarium.
I’d never been to a Planetarium before, though with my background, I couldn’t say that I had done many things.
Nicolas jumped out of the truck and hurried around the front and over to my side.
I reached for the handle to open the door, but he beat me to it.
“Let’s go,” he declared, opening my door.
“Thank you.” I felt my cheeks turn red.
This form of treatment was something to which I would have no problem getting accustomed.
I slid out of the truck and followed behind him. As we carried forth, I realized there were no other vehicles or people to be seen.
“They look closed,” I said.
“They are, but I’ve got special privileges,” he winked.
I wasn’t surprised.
We walked inside, through a small room with a ticket counter, leading us to another door that appeared to open into the main domed building.
“You’re going to love this,” he whispered.
He opened the door, leading me into a pitch black room, and as the door shut behind us, the darkness transformed into a massive room of constellations and galaxies. Overhead a soothing voice recording narrated the universe.
It was the most breathtaking experience.
There were variants of colors of which I’d never seen before. The textures of the planets were rich with details one can’t get from a photo, and the constellations were so clearly defined. The galaxies glittered and swirled with pinks, blues, and purples, while the stars twinkled and danced around us.
I searched through the constellations such as the Big and Little Dippers, Orion the G
reek hunter, and the mighty Centaurus. We walked from icy blue Neptune and its 13 moons to the smallest of planets, Mercury. The room morphed again, and floating in the center was the Sun. Ropes of fire swirled around the mighty ball, while it sounded with explosions and endless echoes of popping and sizzling.
“This...” I awed, as I slowly spun around trying to take it all in. The grandeur was dizzying. “This is absolutely incredible, Nicolas.”
“Isn’t it?” he said, grabbing my hand and stopping me mid-turn. His touch brought me back to reality for a moment. His hands were soft, his touch warm. My chest burst with pure ecstasy as he clasped his hand a little tighter. “This spot holds a special place in my memories,” he explained. “This was my escape from everything growing up.”
As he held my hand, I continued to look around, mouth slightly agape, awestruck like the first man in space. I wondered what he meant by escape, but I felt it was a topic for a later time, so I decided not to probe.
I wanted to focus on now, as we seemingly floated through the universe. The only thing keeping me grounded was Nicolas and his powerful gravitational pull.
“You’re so lucky to have had this,” I envied, as I turned my attention to him.
“I know.” He seemed to delve into my soul as he looked at me. The burning sun reflected desire in his eyes, as he leaned into me and pressed his lips against mine. He pulled me in closer to him and held his left hand gently against my face as the energy between us intensified.
The darkness turned off and the lights came on, revealing the canvas of an all white room.
“Come home with me,” his eyes pleaded as his embrace demanded it. “My parents are out for the weekend on business.”
After everything, I couldn’t possibly have said no. I wanted every bit of him right in that moment.
Driving faster than before, he drove us to his home, which rested on a cliffside overlooking the shore. It was a gated, two-story mansion complete with a fountain, and I expected nothing less. Again, he pulled open the passenger side door, grabbed me by my hand, and rushed me inside.
I was admittedly nervous of what I knew was coming next.
He led me up the cold, marbled stairwell to his bedroom. Our footsteps echoed throughout the vaulted ceilings, creating a feeling of vast emptiness within the home. Each step closer to his room made me feel lighter on my feet, as adrenaline began rapidly coursing through me.
Upon entering his room, I realized I’d lost all track of time and evening was already beginning.
The sunset flooded in through his windows, splashing the room with purples and pinks, but this was not that kind of sightseeing adventure.
He couldn't seem to wait as he pulled me into him, kissing me between undoing his belt, which he flung across the floor, followed by hastily ripping off his t-shirt. A small gold cross hanging from his neck briefly distracted me, but his “David-like” physique quickly brought me back to the matter at hand.
However, I apparently wasn’t moving fast enough because he ripped my bottoms off, threw me down on the bed, and took me into his mouth. He slowly worked his way up, nibbling on my chest then up to my neck and on my ear lobes. His tongue brought all the hairs on my body to a standing position.
All the while, his golden cross poked and prodded at me, while his gentle pecking continued to send chills of excitement throughout my being.
He proceeded his way back down to where he started, and all I could do was lay there and enjoy him as he had his way with me.
As he swallowed me all the way down his throat, my body quivered while my eyes rolled back with gratification. When he finished with his mouth, he straddled me with his thighs and eased his tightness down on top of me as he moaned with pleasure.
I found myself exploring my hands all over his artfully crafted body, following the lines of his muscles as he bobbed and weaved on top of me. I had never felt as comfortable and safe giving myself to anyone as I did with Nicolas.
I was getting close, and I began to clutch at the midnight-blue satin sheets as he increased his speed.
Sensing the finale, he slowed a little, leaned forward and grabbed my arms, pinning them above my head as he once again nibbled at my neck. Chills chased down my back, curling my toes, while I climaxed deep inside him. Shivering, I had continued to finish, as he brought himself back up and threw his head back moaning, moving faster again before finishing himself off on my abdomen.
Sweat dripped from both of us as we sat for a second trying to catch our breath.
“Hold,” he panted.
He rolled off of me and went into his bathroom and hurried out with a towel. He came over to me while I was still on my back and he wiped the remnants of his passion off of me.
Still reeling from the ecstacy, I looked to him and reached my hand out, grasping the gold cross that dangled from his neck.
He pushed my hand away.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he said.
He took the towel and tossed it into a hamper that sat outside his bathroom door. I heard the echoing squeak of the turning knobs and a pressured flow of water bouncing off of glass.
I thought for a moment about the cross and how Peter said that they were a very religious family. As Peter had also suggested in terms of the group of men being “closet-cases,” perhaps that’s why he had been so cagey in the past.
However, none of that mattered.
Eager for more, I got up from the bed and snuck my way into the bathroom where Nicolas showered. The room was large enough to fit three of my bathrooms, and it was complete with a tub and stand alone shower.
I prowled through the steam and opened the frosted glass door to let myself in with Nicolas.
I watched him briefly as water beaded on his tight red shoulders and rolled down his body, following the arch of his back and twisting like little rivers over his calves. His skin was pink like grapefruit from the hot water.
I was mesmerized by the godly figure before me.
He turned and caught me staring. “What is it?”
“You… just you,” I admired.
I ached to return the pleasure he’d just provided, as well as to feel him inside me.
He tried to speak again, but I pressed my finger to his lips. I rested my free hand over the gold cross on his chest, which still dangled from his neck.
I moved closer into the rains of the shower, bringing my lips to his. From there, I dragged my mouth down the chiseled trail of his body until I was down on my knees, readied for worship.
We stepped out of the shower and he asked me to stay with him for the rest of the night.
We got into bed after fixing the sheets and got comfortable.
He went on to explain how his parents’ strong beliefs went against everything we had just done. He told me how forceful they were with their religion as he grew up. They went to church every Sunday, prayed every night. He was required to wear his cross at all times, so as to never forget that Jesus Christ had died on the cross for our sins.
He did note that his mom was the most preachy, while his father for the most part took the back seat. He confessed to me that he’d never been as morally conflicted about anything the way that he was with me. Just as I had guessed.
“I believe that perhaps there is a God. I have to,” he began. “It’s what I’ve been taught since day one. My parents say people like us are an abomination, and if they ever found out, I could lose everything. College, the business, my inheritance. My mom, she just...”
He paused, taking in a deep breath. I could tell he was calculating his next words, debating how much he wanted to share.
“And now I go back and forth with this part of me. I don’t know, there’s just something about you. I want you, and I think about you all the time.” He broke thought for a moment before proceeding with a saddened hesitation. “Everyone around me praises me, and I see them. They look at me like I’m something special.” He paused again. “I feel nothing but loneliness, and I think to mysel
f that this emptiness inside is my punishment for my being this way. I can’t ever keep what we had today, Mīlo.” He said my name plainly, instilling a sense of severity. “My religion and politics won’t allow for it. It’s why I tried to keep myself from you.” He let out a sigh of disappointment. “Not so amazing now, am I?”
I was stunned. He did such an excellent job at boasting a confident disposition all the time that I would’ve never anticipated that level of insecurity. I was honored and completely floored by his depth of honesty; it made me desperate to try to persuade him into believing the opposite of everything he’d said.
I didn’t want to lose this, him.
“No, you are incredible,” I insisted, “so fuck your politics. If there is truly a God, then He is our creator, is he not? He created each and every single one of us the way he intended, and He makes no mistakes. The Bible was written by man, as a means of control, a manner of legalization…”
He rolled over on his side, turning his back to me. He didn’t want to be preached to. I brought down my intensity and continued, “but I don’t know. I’m not sure what I believe in, Nicolas. But I, without a doubt, believe in this moment. Us, right now.”
There was silence as he turned to face me. A gentle grin stretched across his face as he shut his eyes and nuzzled his face into my neck. We were both exhausted from the excitement the day had brought us.
We continued to lie together, intertwining our legs, tying them with one another, until our bodies were tangled in the sheets. I combed my fingers through his fine hair. There was magic in it. As each black strand fell back into place, I felt confident that I, too, was falling into place.
“As eínai gia pánta,” he whispered.
“What does that mean?” I asked, as he nestled his hard body deeper against mine.
“Oh? I’ve stumped you, have I?” he teased, half asleep. “It’s Greek. It means… let this be forever.”
I felt his body rise and fall deeper into me with every breath. Our rhythms in full sync, I no longer knew where I began and he ended.
