I turned just as Emma closed in on my desk, a soft look in her eyes and a hesitant smile on her face. She wasn’t in her usual outfit of workout clothes that would never see the inside of a gym, and her hair wasn’t in that severe ponytail she favored that really didn’t do much for her face.
Now her hair was down, hanging pin-straight halfway down her back. She was dolled up to the nines, wearing sky-high heels that clacked loudly against the tile floor. She had on a pencil skirt that fit like a second skin, and her top hugged just as tight, the neckline dipping so low it showed off the bit of cleavage she had.
Used to be, seeing her like that would have turned me on. But that was in the past. Now I couldn’t help but notice she didn’t have the figure to pull off a skirt like that. There was no flair in her hips, no dip at the waist. It made the ten pounds she’d lost that her body couldn’t afford to do without that much more obvious.
Now that I’d had Nona, I knew there was no going back. She was perfect, built like a woman, all curves and valleys, a waist and hips made for a man to grab and hold onto forever.
“Emma, what are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you.” That was the last thing I was in the mood for. I opened my mouth to tell her I was busy when she quickly added, “It’s about Hannah.” I paused as she looked at me with beseeching eyes. “Please. Just a few minutes.”
I lifted my chin to Hayes, silently communicating to him to give me a bit, then stood from my chair and led Emma to the conference room that looked out on the bullpen and other offices.
I stayed close to the door once it closed behind us, leaning back against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest as my gut tightened with worry. “What’s goin’ on with Banana?”
Moving to the table, she turned and braced her hands on the top, using the leverage to hoist herself up. She crossed her legs and began swinging them back and forth in a way I could only assume was meant to look tantalizing. “Banana,” she said with a wistful smile. “I always loved it when you called her that.”
“Emma,” I said in a frustrated growl.
“Right, sorry. Just….” She waved a hand in front of her. “Old memories.”
Hell no, I wasn’t doing this. Not now, not ever. “You needed to talk to me about Hannah?”
“Um….” She clasped her hands in her lap and looked down at them as she tangled her fingers together. “It’s about her boyfriend.”
“Heath?” I asked, my chin pulling back into my neck. “What about him?”
“She just told me this morning that you’re allowing her to date. I thought… well, I thought we had an agreement about her dating. She’s not allowed until she turns sixteen.”
My shoulders grew stiff with agitation. “Well, I wouldn’t consider what they’re doing to be dating. He’s not allowed to pick her up and take her anywhere, but she and I had a talk, and we reached a compromise. She’s proven herself to be responsible and trustworthy, so the deal now is that she can see Heath just as long as it’s at the house where I can supervise.”
Her eyes went wide. “Don’t you think that’s something we should’ve discussed?”
“Not particularly,” I answered in a flat, emotionless voice. “That’s part of being divorced. You get to enforce your rules at your place, and I’ll enforce my rules at mine.”
“But we’re supposed to be in this together,” she declared, her voice rising higher. “We’re a team in this, Patrick. We have to be on the same page.”
“We most certainly are not in this together,” I corrected. “We stopped being a team the moment those papers were signed, Emma, and there’s no need for us to be on the same page anymore. Like I said, I have my own rules in my house. No offense, but it’s not really my problem if you don’t like them.”
Emma’s lower lids brimmed with tears. A look of shock crossed over her face as she whispered, “How can you say that?”
Reaching up to scrub at my face, I let out an exasperated “Jesus Christ.”
“I hate this,” she said in a tearful whisper.
Fucking shit. “Can we not do this, Emma?”
She hopped off the table and moved to me faster than I expected. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered, reaching up to cup my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Patrick.”
I wrapped my fingers around her wrists and yanked her hands away from me, sidestepping her and moving several feet away. “Christ, Emma. Don’t do this.”
“I miss my family,” she said softly, a tear breaking loose and slipping down her cheek. “I miss you. I feel like I’m drowning. Shawn barely looks at me, and Hannah… she didn’t even confide in me about this boyfriend.” She let out a caustic laugh. “I found out by going through her phone. And when I asked her about it, she acted like it was nothing.”
“Then that’s somethin’ you have to fix on your own.”
“Patrick, please,” she cried, reaching out for me again.
I lifted my hand to ward her off. “I’m not doing this, Emma. I’m sorry if you came here hoping to rekindle what we used to have, but that’s gone now.”
She pulled in a stuttered breath. “Please don’t say that.”
A dull throb started at the base of my skull and radiated up until it centered behind my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her demeanor suddenly changed, and the sadness on her face mixed with anger. “It’s because of her, isn’t it?”
“Don’t go there,” I warned.
“I don’t like her spending so much time around the kids.”
“And I don’t give a shit. You’re lying in a bed you made yourself, Emma. If it’s not comfortable, that’s on you, but I’m not gonna stand here and let you put your shit on Nona when it has nothing to do with her.”
“It has everything to do with her!” she snapped. “She’s the reason you’re being so cold! She’s the reason my daughter’s keeping secrets from me!”
“Be very careful right now,” I said on a low, menacing growl. “Hannah’s keeping secrets ’cause you spent too much goddamn time makin’ her feel like she wasn’t good enough.”
“I never—”
“Every time you wrapped that measuring tape around her,” I gritted out. “Every time you made some snide, bullshit comment about her needing to lose a couple pounds or dress different or pick other, more popular friends, you were telling our girl she wasn’t good enough.”
“Th-that’s not what I meant.”
“But that’s how she took it. She’d fifteen fuckin’ years old, Emma. She’s still a child. How’d you think she was gonna handle you putting your own insecurities on her? Nona knows all about Heath. Hell, she’s known since the fuckin’ beginning! And she knows because all she’s ever done is make my girl feel like she’s the most special, most beautiful girl on the planet.”
“She’s not her mother! I am!”
“Then I suggest you stop wasting so much goddamn time trying to jerk me around and spend more of it fixing your relationship with your daughter. But you will keep Nona out of it.”
Realizing her current game wasn’t getting her what she wanted, she quickly changed tactics. “Patrick, I’m sorry. Maybe if we could just meet up for dinner or something—”
“Not gonna happen. I told you already that we’re done, and I meant it. We’d still be done even if I wasn’t with Nona. But I am, and that’s not gonna change.”
This time, when the tears fell from her eyes, I knew they weren’t for show. They were very real. “I… I don’t… I never should’ve let you go. I made a mistake.”
I got no pleasure from watching Emma suffer. I didn’t want to hurt her, but there was no going back. What we had was a memory. I was in love with Nona. She had the best of me. The pieces I thought would never heal, she’d put back together. Aside from my kids, every laugh and smile she granted me was the most precious gift I’d ever received, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it.
“Yeah, you did. But it’s done. Learn from this, and when you find another man, don’t make
the same mistakes.”
She dropped her head in defeat. “There’s no one else for me but you.”
Fuck, but I needed this to be done. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Emma. Truly I am. I want you to be happy. But there’s no other woman for me but Nona.”
“Y-you used to feel that way about me.”
“Emma,” I said softly so she’d meet my gaze. “There’s no sense in looking backward. The past is over and done with. Look ahead. Move forward.”
She didn’t say another word as she grabbed her purse from the table and scurried past me, yanking the door open and rushing through it.
I gave myself a moment to shake off the tension that conversation had settled on my shoulders, then left the conference room and went on with my day.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Nona
My cell phone rang just as I dumped the celery I’d chopped into the boiling pot. “Hey, handsome,” I answered, a smile in my voice as I propped the phone between my ear and shoulder. “How was work? You dole out any justice?”
His chuckle resonated through the line, warming me from the inside out. “You know a lot of what I do consists of sitting at my desk, doing paperwork, right?”
“That’s boring. I’ll stick to the image I have of you in my head, in constant foot chases with armed assailants, sliding over the hoods of cars to catch the bad guy. Ooh! With your shirt unbuttoned and hanging open as you run. You know, like Will Smith in Bad Boys.”
“Think whatever you want, beautiful. But if I’m constantly chasing down bad guys, does that mean you’re gonna rub my feet every night?”
“Pfft. Not likely,” I teased. “You just killed the fantasy.”
There was no missing the humor in his voice as he muttered, “Well that’s a shame.” Bantering with Trick was proving to be a whole hell of a lot of fun. He gave just as good as he got, and I loved how he always kept me on my toes. “How was your day?”
“Good! The guys came and installed the new window this morning, so that’s all taken care of. The sign guy’s coming out tomorrow to stencil the logo on it, and the security company’ll be installing the cameras on Thursday.”
“That’s good, baby.”
“FYI, your brood’s hanging out at my place right now. Just in case you were wondering, I think they like me more than you.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised. They do their homework?”
I started chopping carrots as I replied, “Homework is done. Shawn and Tris are currently rotting their brains with video games, and Hannah’s with Blythe in her room. No doubt the two of them are lying on her bed right now, engaged in a conversation through text message since kids these days are above actually speaking to each other.”
“I think they’re afraid they might spontaneously combust if they make eye contact.”
A giggle worked its way from my throat. “Oh, and Diva’s keeping me company while I make dinner. You want to eat over here, or subject your kids to something fried and full of sodium that you get through a window?”
“If that’s your way of making an offer, I’ll take door number one.”
“Always an offer, handsome. You and your kiddos are welcome over here any time.”
His voice went soft and sweet as he said, “Good to know, baby, ’cause I think it’s almost time to enter into the next phase of our relationship.”
The kife in my hand slipped, taking a huge chunk of carrot with it. “Oh yeah?” I asked in a breathy tone, eager to know what he thought the next phase for us was. “And what’s that?”
“Overnight visits.”
I freaking loved that idea. My chest swelled with excitement even as I asked, “You don’t think it’s too soon? We’ve only really been together a couple weeks.”
“I’m in this for the long haul, Nona. I know how I feel about you, and I know that’s not changing. Is it gonna change for you?”
I hung my head, staring down at the carrots as my vision began to blur with happy tears. “N-no,” I managed to say without croaking. “It’s not going to change for me.”
“I know what we have to do is complicated, trying to blend two families, but I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else. I don’t even want to think about that.”
I sniffled and batted at my cheeks. “Trick?”
“Yeah, beautiful?”
“You need to stop, or I’m gonna blubber all over the chicken pot pie I’m trying to make.”
“We wouldn’t want that,” he said, his tone sweet and affectionate. “Chicken pot pie’s one of my favorite meals.”
“So you’re on your way?”
“Leaving the station now.”
“Okay, honey,” I said softly. “See you when you get here.”
We rang off, and I put my cell back on the kitchen counter. Diva let out a little chuff, calling for my attention, and when I looked down at her, she cocked her head to the side as if to say, “What’s going on?”
“Well, I think it’s safe to say I’m officially in love with your owner,” I told the curious pup.
She yipped, and I took that to mean “No duh! About time you got on the same page” in Diva talk.
I glared down at her. “No need to rub it in. I might be slow on the uptake, but at least I got there.”
Diva flopped to the floor and proceeded to pass right out like she couldn’t be bothered to deal with me.
I let out a laugh at the dog’s colorful personality and went back to preparing dinner. I had a man and a whole brood to feed, after all.
And I loved it.
* * *
Dinner had, once again, been an absolute trip. Shawn and Tris kept us in stitches. Blythe and Hannah had gotten a kick out of giving their little brothers guff, doing so in a way that wasn’t ugly or mean but instead good-natured, showing that they loved them but also loved to bust their chops.
The kids dispersed to different parts of the house after washing the dinner dishes with limited grumbling, and now Trick and I were camped out on my back porch swing, snuggled up together while we stared out at the sun lowering over the mountains and dense woods that surrounded our town. Trick had one of my beers in his hand, and I was slowly sipping a glass of red wine as we rocked at a slow and steady pace.
I was so relaxed I could have dozed off right then. Unfortunately, the peacefulness was broken by what Trick said next. “Emma came by the station today.”
I tried my best to keep my body from going rigid, but I knew I’d failed when his arms tightened around me. “Oh?”
“Wasn’t a pleasant conversation,” he muttered quietly.
Pushing up from where I was leaned against Trick’s side, I shifted so we were face to face and offered, “I’m sorry, Trick.”
He blew out a breath and scrubbed his face with his free hand. “Been questioning whether or not I should tell you, but I don’t want us to have any secrets. What we have is good. No, it’s fuckin’ great. And I don’t want to ruin that, so you have to know, she came with the intention of trying to get me back.”
Every bone in my body locked tight. “I-I see.”
Trick set his beer bottle on the deck near our feet, then grabbed the wineglass from my hand and did the same before wrapping his fingers around my waist and pulling me so I was straddling his lap, moving me how he wanted with complete ease. “From the look on your face, I don’t think you do.”
It blew my mind that I could speak past the lump swelling up in my throat, but I managed to eke out, “It’s okay, Trick. I get it.” I placed my hands on his chest, trying to break his hold so I could climb from his lap. If we were going to do this, I needed distance between us. I didn’t think I’d be able to survive it with him touching me.
“No, obviously you don’t or you wouldn’t be tryin’ to get away from me,” he said on a low growl, his fingers clenching against my hips. “I told her no.”
My battle against his grip stopped, and I stared down at him in shock. “What?”
His granite jaw ticked, and h
is forehead pinched into a tight, unhappy frown. “Pisses me off that you’d be surprised to hear that,” he grunted. “Apparently it’s escaped your attention, though fuck if I can see how, but since you missed it, I’ll spell it out for you. I’m in love with you, Nona. And I don’t give a shit if it’s too soon. I don’t have a single goddamn doubt that I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with you, and I told Emma as much when she made her play.”
I swallowed past that lump, my lungs shaking as I pulled in a slow inhale. “That… that must have been hard for her to hear.”
“It was. But it needed to be said. Now she has no doubt where my head is, so hopefully we can finally get to a point where we can do this co-parenting shit without being at each other’s throats.”
Reaching up, I placed my palms on the sides of his neck and leaned in, resting my forehead against his. “I hope so too, handsome.”
“Now tell me, do I need to put in more work to get your head straight, or do you finally see where this is going?”
“I see where this is going,” I whispered, unable to contain my smile.
Then I burst into laughter at his agitated “Well, thank fuckin’ Christ for that.”
I lifted my head to look down into those gray eyes. “Just so you know, I’m in love with you too.”
They went quicksilver, full of heat and passion as his fingers pressed deeper. “Good to know, baby,” he said, his words soft but packed with emotion. “Hannah and Tris are back with their mom Friday. You have ’til then to get your kids to a place where they’re cool with me spending the night.”
God, but I loved him something fierce.
“I have a feeling they’re already there.”
His grin turned me to jelly. “I do too, but better safe than sorry, right?”
He was absolutely right. I nodded in agreement and leaned in for a kiss. He didn’t make me wait long. Afterward, he shifted me off his lap and stood, bending to grab my glass and his beer bottle. “Getting another beer. You want a refill?”
And just like that, he proved again that he was all about taking care of me. “Yeah, handsome.”
The Best of Me: a Hope Valley novel Page 20
