“And someone for you?” Shelly finished. “Admit it, Iris. You’ve fallen for Dane.”
Iris hadn’t chosen to fall in love with Dane. She’d thought it was a crush because he was good-looking and famous, but if she was honest with herself, she had to admit she loved him. “Yes, I have.”
Shelly beamed with pleasure. “I’m so happy for you, Iris. You deserve it and so much more.”
“Dane and I haven’t really talked about where this is all going. I mean, we’ve talked about Jayden and his future, but never ours. We’ve been so focused on Jayden. He caught a cold, I don’t know from where. I’ve been so careful. Anyway, Dr. Lee is pushing back the transplant date. She wants to be sure he’s healthy enough to receive the stem cells.
“Sis, I’m sorry to hear that. You must be outta your mind with worry.”
“I am. Worrying about Jayden and now this thing with Dane—I have no idea what he wants.”
“Don’t you think it’s time you asked?”
“I don’t want to smother him or seem needy.”
“I understand, but you also have to tell him how you feel and what you want,” Shelly admonished.
“What if he doesn’t want the same thing?”
“Then you’ll co-parent Jayden and get him through this crisis.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Iris responded, when she knew it was far from that. There were so many variables.
“Love never is,” Shelly said. “I only hope to find the kind of love you’ve found with Dane one day.”
Iris smiled and hoped the fairy-tale ending her sister was envisioning would really come true.
* * *
Once Jayden was settled in at home after his treatment, her doorbell rang. It was one of Dane’s security guards. “Ms. Iris, I have Jason Underwood here to see you.”
“Yes, I know Jason.” Iris nodded in Jason’s direction. “But I’m afraid Dane isn’t here.”
“Yes, I know,” Jason responded. “I’m here to speak with you if you have a few minutes.”
“Jayden and I were about to eat dinner, but I suppose I can spare some time. Come in.” She motioned him inside. “Can I get you anything? Water, tea, coffee?”
Jason shook his head. “Nothing for me. I won’t be staying long.”
Iris’s ears perked at the comment. Yet, he’d come all this way to speak with her. “All right. Please have a seat.” She waved him in the direction of her couch and sat in a nearby armchair. “What can I do for you?”
“Well...” He sat down, making a big production out of unbuttoning his jacket to avoid wrinkles, and then looked her directly in the eye. “I was hoping you would let Dane go.”
“Pardon?”
“Iris, I know Dane cares a great deal about his son, and you for that matter...”
“But?” Because she suspected that word was the next on this man’s tongue. Why else would he have come to her home unannounced and without Dane? Was there something he didn’t want Dane to know?
“Your relationship has caused Dane to lose focus. He’s tanking his career and blowing off projects when he’s at his prime.”
Iris swallowed the lump in her throat. “And you think that’s my fault? I have no power over Dane.”
Jason stared at her incredulously. “C’mon, Iris, you and I both know that’s not true. You have his heart.” He pointed toward the bedroom. “In there. His son. A son Dane never knew anything about or asked for, quite frankly. For years, he’s been focused on becoming an award-winning actor, maybe even directing. But since he’s discovered Jayden’s existence, Dane hasn’t committed to his next project and barely picked up a script.”
Iris released a long sigh. “And what would you have me do, Mr. Underwood?”
“Let him go. He didn’t ask to be a father. Never wanted to be one from what he told me,” Jason responded. “Yet he has a ready-made family in you and Jayden.”
“And we’re the albatross around his neck, dragging him under?” Iris finished for him. When Jason looked down at his designer loafers, she knew that was what he’d meant. “You don’t think I’m good enough for him, do you?”
Jason shook his head. “It has nothing to do with that.”
“Bull crap!” Iris jumped to her feet. “I know I’m not some Hollywood starlet who can keep Dane’s name in the papers, but I care. Probably more than anyone ever has.”
“Then if you do, you’ll do what’s best for him,” Jason responded smoothly, rising to his feet and buttoning his suit jacket. “And let him do what he does best—get in front of the camera and act.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “I think you should go, Jason.”
“I realize what I’m asking you to do isn’t easy, Iris.” Jason stood and walked toward her, but she stepped backward. Since their first meeting, Iris had gotten the distinct impression Jason didn’t much care for her or want her in Dane’s life. “But if you do what’s right, I’ll ensure Dane always provides for Jayden. You will want for nothing.”
“Because everything comes down to money for you, doesn’t it?” Iris countered. “Well, it’s not the be-all and end-all for me, Jason. I don’t want Dane for his money. I never have. All I’ve ever wanted is for that little boy—” she motioned toward the bedroom “—to be happy and healthy. Meeting Dane was...” Her voice trailed off and she walked to the front door and held it open.
Jason peered at her for several seconds. “You love him. I can see that. And if you do, you’ll let him go.” And with that statement, he gave her one final glare before leaving.
Iris slammed the door after him. How dare he come into her home and tell her what to do. He had no right! He was one of the many people who wanted something from Dane while she—she just wanted to love him. But was it enough? Would it ever be enough?
On some level, despite his protests to the contrary, Dane loved the glitz, the glamour and the fame. Why else would he continue to do what he did year in and year out? Yet she was certain he’d found an inner peace when he was with her and Jayden. Or was she fooling herself because she was so in love with him?
Perhaps she was a fool for believing they were building something strong and enduring. Maybe Dane had sent Jason here because he was too afraid to tell her that all this was too much. A new son who needed a bone marrow donor. A new lover with her hang-ups. His future would be golden if he didn’t have her and Jayden bringing him down. And she would never want to get in the way of Dane reaching for the stars. Because when you loved someone, you were willing to sacrifice for them.
And she loved Dane. But was she prepared to show him how much? Was she strong enough to let Dane go so he could soar?
* * *
Dane used the key Iris gave him to enter her small bungalow later that evening. He hated that he could no longer stop by without being accosted by the press. Several of the paparazzi had taken to camping out at Iris’s home in the hopes they’d catch him stopping by. Social media was always abuzz with his comings and goings and how often he visited his son, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him.
He wanted to see Iris. Hear her teasing laugh and, if Jayden had been put to bed, turn it into a quivering sigh. Sex with Iris was intensely gratifying and by far the best of his life. And when they were together, he wanted to stay with her forever and damn if that didn’t amaze him.
She greeted him at the door, brushing her soft lips across his and sliding her arms up his back. Dane’s chest tightened and his lips sought hers in a purely carnal kiss. A sultry moan escaped Iris’s lips. He lost his head completely and swept his hands over her. Desire stabbed hard through him and he hauled her closer, cupping her behind until she was up against his body and the clear evidence of his need pressed between them.
He drew his head back a fraction. His breathing was ragged and choppy, but he managed to speak. “Hello.”
She
laughed. “Hello to you too.”
His eyes darted around the room, but the lights were muted. He could tell she’d been reading in the armchair because a book was lying face down next to a glass of red wine. “Where’s Jayden?”
“Already in bed. Chemo drained him and he couldn’t wait up for you. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I got delayed with some errands and meant to be here sooner,” Dane said. “So it’s just us?”
She grinned. “Yes.”
“Why don’t we head to the bedroom?” Dane suggested. He was eager to get Iris naked so he could do all sorts of wicked things to her.
Iris’s room was a third of the size of his master suite in the Hollywood Hills, but Dane didn’t care. He didn’t care that her bed was a queen size compared to his California king that could sleep several people. The cozy room was all Iris. It even smelled like roses and sunshine, because that was how he thought of her.
“Come here, you.” She pulled him toward her and reached for his belt. He bent and kissed her again, meshing his lips with hers and slowly sweeping his tongue inside her luscious mouth. She quickly helped him out of his clothes while he took his time stripping her bare. He touched every part of her with soft, tender kisses. She trembled, arching against him. In her eyes, he saw the need he’d felt all day. He used his fingers and mouth to tease, tempt and stretch, keeping her pleasure just out of reach.
Iris fought back. Her mouth went to his throat and her lips danced a wild tango on his neck. It made him feel raw and exposed. “Iris...”
She smiled and rolled atop him. Having her skin on his inflamed him and he murmured words of encouragement as she took him in her hand and lined him up against her wet opening. Her searing gaze burned into his as she sank onto him. Then she rocked her hips, undulating against him, taking him deeper and deeper until she had him to the hilt. It was searing, slow and sublime. They were so close, nothing could come between them. If this wasn’t love, Dane wasn’t sure what was.
A wave of emotion clogged his throat and Dane knew he wanted to be with Iris forever. He looked into her eyes and gripped her hips tightly as he bucked underneath. “Yes, Iris. Yes. Give me all of you.” He rammed upward and Iris clung to him, riding him as they both hurtled straight to the stratosphere.
Afterward she fell forward on top of him, and he wrapped his arms around her. She’d never been more beautiful to him than she was at this moment, glowing from his lovemaking. He whispered the words he could no longer keep contained. “I love you, Iris.”
But when he glanced down, Iris was sound asleep on his chest. He grinned. There would be plenty of other times to tell her he’d fallen madly and deeply in love with her.
Fifteen
Iris was up early the next morning. She was already showered and dressed when Dane wandered into the kitchen bare-chested and wearing pajama bottoms. He looked sleepy eyed and sexy as hell. Last night after they’d made love, he’d told her he loved her. And she’d heard him. But she’d feigned sleep because she’d been so overwhelmed. She hadn’t been the only one feeling this way. Dane loved her too!
But Jason had got in her head yesterday by telling her Dane was throwing away his career and his future if he stayed with her and Jayden. Iris didn’t need Jason to point out that she wasn’t beautiful like the models and actresses Dane usually dated. She saw it herself every day she looked in the mirror and saw the disfigured flesh from the accident. If they stayed together, Dane might regret being with her, he might wish he’d held out for someone more beautiful and without all her hang-ups. He deserved better than her, but Iris had finally found happiness. Was it so wrong to want to hang on tight to it? It’s why she had told him she loved him back.
If she stayed with Dane, it would hurt him, but if she didn’t, he’d be hurt just as much. Would he think she’d been using him for Jayden or for healing herself in some way? Because she had.
For years, Iris had been afraid to put herself out there. She’d been content to live in the shadows and raise her son, never knowing the depth of emotion she could feel for another human being until Dane came along. He was everything she’d been waiting her whole life to find.
And she had to let him go.
Sometime around dawn, Iris realized she was holding Dane back. He was America’s Sexiest Man Alive, but he was also a damn fine actor who was destined for greatness. He needed someone who could be in the limelight with him.
Plus, if he stayed with her, his focus wouldn’t be on his craft, but on her and Jayden. Jason had been right. Jayden had come down with a cold a few days ago and they’d had to push back the transplant for a couple of weeks until he was fully recovered. Dane had been by her side for days. And she loved him for that. Truly she did. Dane had taken to fatherhood much more easily than anyone thought he would.
Everyone had expected he’d be one of those see-you-on-the-weekend kind of dads. Not Dane. He was invested. And not just because he was giving his bone marrow. He came to all Jayden’s treatments. He picked up Jayden from school even if that meant his entire entourage, press included, followed him. Dane was determined to be a better father than his own had been, and he was. That was what made what she had to do so hard.
“Good morning.” Dane brushed a kiss across her forehead as he moved toward the coffeepot and poured himself a cup. She didn’t have a fancy Keurig, just an old-school coffeepot she preprogrammed each evening so she could take a very large YETI mug with her on the way to work.
“Good morning.” She avoided his gaze as she set about pulling out cereal and a bowl for Jayden’s breakfast. She wasn’t sure he was going to eat it. He hadn’t had much of an appetite these days due to the chemo treatments.
“You’re up early,” Dane commented as he sipped his coffee. “Didn’t I sufficiently wear you out last night?”
“I have to get to work,” Iris said.
“Doesn’t your job understand you have a sick child who might require more of you and give you a bit of leeway?”
“It’s not needed. Jayden is in the shower and I’m already dressed to get him to chemo,” Iris replied tightly. She’d ensured they were on track because she didn’t dare spend any more time alone with Dane than was absolutely necessary. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have the guts to do what needed to be done. “Some of us can’t play around all day. We have to actually make a living.”
Dane’s dark brown eyes stared at her, clearly disturbed by her tone. “Wow, okay.” He scrubbed his jaw. “I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I didn’t realize it was take-a-shot-at-Dane time.”
Iris shrugged. She hated doing this but she saw no other way. “I’m just saying. I have to make a living.”
“I could easily take care of you and Jayden. You’d never have to worry about anything but staying by Jayden’s side and being there for him when he needs you.”
Damn him. He was going to make it harder for her to walk away. “As kind and generous as that is, I don’t take handouts, Dane.”
“It wouldn’t be a handout!” he spat, slamming his coffee cup onto the kitchen table and splashing it all over.
“I’ll clean it up.” Iris went for a dishrag, but Dane grabbed her forearm.
“Jayden is my son too and I’d like to do my part in taking care of him and supporting you.”
“You’re doing your part by donating your bone marrow,” Iris stated. “But as for me? I’ve got this and so does my family. We’ve been doing it for nearly seven years before we knew about you. Please just go back to your life. I’m sure there’s plenty of things you should be doing other than getting mired in the muck of our lives.”
Dane frowned. “What the hell, Iris? Where is this coming from? We had an incredible night last night and...and this morning you’re acting cold and distant. What’s going on?”
“Don’t you get it, Dane? I’m letting you go. I’m giving you a
free pass to go back to your life and do whatever it was you were doing before you met me.”
Hurt was etched across his face, and Iris hated that she was the one putting it there.
“What if I don’t want a free pass?”
“That’s too bad because I’m giving it to you,” Iris responded. “It’s over, Dane. You and me. I won’t stand in the way of you having a relationship with your son. I wouldn’t do that, but...” Her voice trailed off.
“It’s not easy giving someone the brush-off, is it?” Dane asked. “Trust me, I know. I’ve done it. And you know why, Iris? Because you don’t want to do this. I have no idea what’s got into you, but perhaps it’s best if I leave.”
He started for the door, but Iris said, “I would like my key back.”
Dane spun around to face her, and Iris nearly lost it. His deep brown eyes were filled with despair. She was breaking his heart as well as her own. It was a risk, letting Dane go, but if he was the man she knew him to be, he wouldn’t abandon Jayden. He’d still donate his bone marrow and be a father to Jayden. He just wouldn’t be with Iris. But in the long run, she was doing what was best for both of them. They were from two different worlds and he needed to be free to pursue his passion.
“I knew you had issues, Iris, but I thought we’d addressed them. I thought you trusted me, but clearly I was wrong. They go much deeper than even I imagined.”
“Don’t you dare bring my scars into this.” She pointed at him. “You don’t get to put this on me like I’m the one with the problem!”
“Aren’t you?” Dane asked. “You’re the one who out of nowhere is turning tail and running as fast as you can from a good thing. Am I getting too close, Iris? Is that the problem? Is being in the light with me too much?”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you. You have to live in the limelight. You feed off all the adoration of your fans. I saw you the other night when we went to the premiere. You were eating it up with a spoon.”
“It’s my job!” Dane responded hotly. “All those people stood in line for hours for a glimpse or picture of me and, God forbid, an autograph. So yeah, I played my part, but it doesn’t mean I’m a narcissist.”
Red Carpet Redemption Page 14
