Her smile slipped, and she lowered her head, not wanting Liam to see her despair.
It was always the little things, a hint of his fading scent, his name—memories—that dragged her back to her unending sense of loss. The nights were the worst, alone in the vast bed.
She shut off the thought. Sleep—something her body now seemed to demand more often—would happen soon enough to torment her with nightmares again.
“Nikkos, beta, you must awaken. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. You have so much to live for, a joy we could never give you.”
At the strange female voice pulling him out of a restful darkness, Nik sighed. Why the fuck wouldn’t these people leave him alone?
“Awaken, filius,” a male demanded. “This is not good.”
“You let our son be given a life that wasn’t his,” the woman demanded. “Where’s the love you’re supposedly the god of?”
Nik slitted his eyes in annoyance, but a pale waxy-like substance concealed his view. His fuzzy sight landed on a tall male silhouette, then shifted to a vision in white next to him. He had no idea who these people were, lamenting and fighting over him. His hazy vision cleared a little, and through the strands of the web he saw them.
The tall, exquisite female with creamy brown skin and a flow of ebony hair, attired in a long, shimmery white skirt and a short, fitted top, peered down at him. He remembered the garment from his childhood. A lehenga. Jewels sparkled in her dark hair and ears, and more gleamed around her throat under her pet snake.
Her hand hovered above him, then lowered, her fingers clenching. She sighed as if in regret.
His mātā.
With his father at her side.
No, not people he wished to see. Nik shut his eyes. His mind a haze of nothingness, yet a hollowness remained within him. As if something was missing, something that made him hurt…
“It was never my intent to ignore you,” his sire said, tone edged with remorse, hauling him back. “We only wanted you in a better place. Not to endure the life we must live.”
Yeah. Years of loneliness in both the Indian and the Greek pantheons, and a lifetime of pain and torture in Tartarus.
He didn’t care for any of their platitudes now. He’d been a child, and they discarded him. Hell, he wished they would leave, preferring oblivion, so he didn’t suffer this immense loss crushing him, one he didn’t understand. Yet he recalled his parents. Great.
The air around him shifted, changed. Power surged.
“Eros, you know you cannot be here in the healing caves,” a familiar feminine voice reprimanded. “You will taint the purity of the healing energy.”
“My son lies here after being mortally wounded, and you would have me leave, soror?”
Sister?
Nik opened his eyes again. Through the filaments shrouding him, he found Eros glaring at the ancient goddess with the same ice-green eyes Nik had seen in the mirror for over thousands of years. Short, sunlit brown hair framed a strong, striking face.
“Yes,” Gaia said. “He will be well eventually—”
“No. He’s succumbing to oblivion, thinking his mate’s dead,” Eros snapped. “She needs him. And he needs her. Did you show him she lived?”
Mate? Odd, he remembered his divided life with his parents but not about any mate…
“He grew agitated with what I revealed to him what had occurred. His wounds were fatal, his healing was more important than any memories, so I blocked them—”
Blocked memories?
“Mate?” Nik rasped, his voice rusty, shrugging off the languor holding him down, the need to know about his mate growing. Some of the fine threads over his face gave way.
All three pairs of eyes shifted to him.
“You’ve awakened.” His mātā smiled. “Indeed, you have a beauteous soul who lives for you. We have seen this.” She stroked her pet cobra coiled around her neck.
“Aye,” his sire added, coming closer.
“Mate?” he demanded, irritated at the lack of response.
“It is good you are back, warrior,” Gaia said with a nod, her gaze skimming over him.
“Just in time, too,” Eros grumbled. Still, a pleased smile brightened his pale eyes. “I am all that is love, and you’ve found your perfect half, only to give in so easily?”
A scolding?
“Mate!” Nik roared, fed up with their monologues.
He shot up from the stone slab, the filaments clinging to him like cobwebs, tearing free and fading away. Instantly, the pulsing energy surrounding him waned.
“Why is he covered in all that ink?” Eros frowned.
“So he doesn’t look like you?” his mātā retorted.
“My lady, still you do not forgive our encounter? You could have walked away—”
“Who—where is she?” Nik demanded, fed up with their bickering.
“Your heart knows who she is, Nikkos,” his sire said quietly.
His mātā nodded, her soft gaze gliding over his tattooed arms to the series of dark stylized stars he had inked on his chest. “Destiny won’t wait for you to step up, beta. Life will pass you by unless you do.”
Damn gods and their cryptic comments. He rubbed his bearded jaw.
“Why? When you made sure I’d never have a mate with your spell,” Nik muttered.
Her brow creased in confusion. “What?”
“I do this for your own good,” he reiterated. “You take after him. No female should be broken because of who you are. You should never have a mate. Those words were embedded in my skull since I was five,” he snapped.
“Nikkos!” Her eyes widened in horror.
“You told him that?” Eros demanded.
She cast him an annoyed look, then meeting Nik’s flat stare, remorse clouded her eyes. “Those words were not a curse, and never meant for you, but your sire. His touch should be banned,” she said, sounding a little weary. “In hindsight, I know now it was wrong to send you away, but I thought you’d have a better life elsewhere—have friends…” She reached out as if to touch him, and her snake slid over to him, coiling around his arm. “It was no excuse to put myself first.”
At her remorse, Nik sighed, staring at the cobra on his forearm—the same serpent whose blood she used to cast his protection spell. Hell, he didn’t hate her. She was his mother. But he no longer cared about all that now.
“It is time,” the ancient goddess said. She set a pile of clothes next to him, then she touched his face, and warmth seeped through him.
Frowning, Nik rubbed his jaw, finding it almost beard free. Only a light scruff remained.
“Thought you might want to look a little less scary.” Gaia smiled, then she touched his temple. His thoughts jolted, cracking through the block in his mind.
A woman with pale skin and waist-length, purple-streaked black hair stirred in his mind. Husky laughter escaped her, her starburst-hued eyes flashing like stars in the sunlight, and his heart thumped hard.
He knew that face—
“Fare thee well, Guardian,” Gaia said softly.
His parents echoed her words. “We will visit soon,” his sire said.
Hell, was that a threat?
Snorting, he handed his mātā her pet, and Gaia ushered both of his parents out.
Nik wrested off his sluggishness and tore free of the remaining filament covering his lower body. With uncoordinated movements, he lurched off the stone slab and fumbled into the new clothes. Everything seemed so unreal, but a need deep within his soul drove him forward. He had to find the face in his heart.
Chapter 36
Nik stepped through the portal into darkness and found himself on a narrow street, a cacophony of sounds shattering his woozy mind. The stench of piss and decaying garbage slapped him in the face.
Really, my lady? Was it too much to send me directly to the castle?
Soft laughter echoed in his mind. You are my Guardian. Needs must be met. And on that cryptic note, the gateway to the subterranean worl
d of the ancient goddess hissed closed behind him.
Grunting, Nik shut his eyes, thoughts of his mate flooding him. Even though his memories were slowly returning after being in that regenerating haze for so long, his mate was the one who poured to the forefront. Her mischievous smile, her warmth, her touch. His Shadow.
About to dematerialize, a familiar sensation abraded his psyche, the smell of sulfur faint. Nik pivoted and barely ducked in time to evade the fiery hellbolt coming at him.
“Your bitch did this. Heal me,” the demon snarled, his features gaunt, almost skeletal. He clutched his belly with one hand.
Nik had no clue what the idiot gabbed about. Wasn’t interested. But the taint of a putrefying wound crowded his nose. “Consider this your lucky day that I don’t kill you. Get lost.”
A snarl erupted. Another sizzling hellfire bolt formed in the demon’s hand.
Seriously? Nik wanted to find his mate, not deal with this mangy skatá—a memory surged. Laex?
His stomach roiled. This fucking asshole had betrayed them, put a blade to his mate’s throat, hurt her—and ultimately caused his death. Dark anger erupted.
“Did you just call my mate a bitch?” Gaian sword summoned, Nik swung his weapon, slicing the scourge clean across the neck. His head fell, rolling to hit the building. Within seconds, his body deflated and disintegrated. A dark ball of energy shot out, hovered for a second…then it slammed straight into Nik, taking him back several steps.
Fuuuck! Guess he was back to being a damn soul sponge.
Nik hurriedly tightened his psychic shields, trapping the dark energy within as it battered at its prison to escape.
“As if I want you assholes in me,” he growled.
This time you do, the soft words drifted through his mind. Because she loved you and desperately wanted to save you, all her goodness infused in you, keeping out the dark souls. Do not fear. I fixed it. Light laugher now. Enjoy my gift.
His lady boss had a warped sense of humor.
Nik ran his tongue piercing against the roof of his mouth, his anxiousness growing, and dematerialized. Moments later, he reformed on the terrace of the rec room. He glanced up at the looming castle. Moonlight cast a silvery glow on the ivy-covered stone façade and over the rolling lawns and spruced flower gardens. Inhaling lungfuls of the brisk air, his gaze fastened on the shut French doors, his mind focused on only one thing.
Finding Shadow.
Nik opened the door and entered the massive gaming room, then he just stood there. Everything remained the same—near him was the seating area with leather armchairs facing a massive, flat-screen TV, opposite it, the wet bar. At the far side, a foosball table took up space, and a pool table—yet a sense of melancholy reigned heavy in the castle.
The inner door opened, and a tall male with steel gray hair stumbled to a halt. Orange-green eyes widened, his face paling as if he’d seen a ghost.
“Sire,” he whispered. “I sensed an intrusion in the wards…”
And the male’s name floated into Nik’s mind. “Hedori.”
“Aye.” The next second, he strode across and hugged Nik, startling him. He stepped back, eyes bright. “It’s good to see you again.”
Nik nodded. “My mate?”
“In your quarters, asleep.”
He didn’t know where that was. Didn’t matter. “Thanks.”
Nik headed for the door, then pivoted. “Don’t say anything to anyone about me being back, not just yet. I don’t want to be disturbed for a while. And yeah, don’t sire me.”
“Very well, Nik.” He could hear the grin in the male’s voice. “Your return’s going to cause quite the upheaval…sire.”
Snorting at the smartass, Nik strode out into the corridor and made his way to the side stairwell. More memories stirred. These steps, he’d kissed her here, unable to keep away from her even when it had been incredibly dangerous.
Impatient now, he jogged up, tracking the heart-tugging fragrance of wildflowers down the corridor to his quarters. He walked into his dimly lit bedroom. The drapes were undrawn, moonlight casting its eerie glow into the bedroom and over her.
His breath trapped in his lungs, Nik slowly crossed to her side of the bed, where she rested facing the window. Lowering to his haunches, he stroked her much shorter, white-streaked inky hair away from her alabaster pale face, caressing the strands between his fingers and absorbing the silky texture. But her face appeared too lean, eyes sunken.
She lost so much weight.
His heart shuddering in pain, he picked up her slender hand and pressed her fingers to his lips. A soft moan escaped her.
“Nik…” Tears seeped from beneath shut eyelids.
“I am here, agápi mou.”
Blindly, she reached out and tugged him close. “I miss you so much. It hurts to breathe without you…”
His own eyes dampened. He kicked off his boots, shifted her, and lay down beside her, holding her against him, savoring having her in his arms once more.
She burrowed into his chest for several long seconds. Then she looked up, her memorable starburst eyes glittering in the moonlight. She pressed her brow to his chin.
“T-take away this pain, this loneliness…” she choked out with a despair that shredded him. “Make me forget, if just for a while…”
“I’m so sorry for all you went through, agápi mou, but I promise we’ll build new memories,” he whispered, kissing her hot, damp cheeks, her wet eyelids. Finally, he kissed her mouth, needing to taste her, memorize her again…
Shadow moaned, stroking Nik’s hard, warm back, the dream so tangible she didn’t want to awaken. But tears found their way out, knowing it wasn’t real.
Nik trailed open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her throat, his teeth lightly scraping her skin. A sob escaped her, her fingers sliding into his long hair. She gripped the silky strands, wrapping them around her fingers—
Nik didn’t have long hair.
She froze, her eyes snapping open.
At the sight of the shadowy man above her, his hair falling about his face, a cry of horror escaped. “Nooo!”
She reared back and scrambled off the bed, falling to the floor on her butt, and scampered away, her back hitting the wall. Oh, God, oh, God!
She just kissed a stranger. Who’d broken into her room!
How did one even get into her quarters in a fortified castle?
The dark shape leaped over the bed and landed in front of her like a cat. “No—” she cried, hands flashing up, caught between dream and terror, “Stay away from me!”
“Shadow, i kardiá mou, it’s me. Nik.”
The wall sconces in the room came on, casting a soft glow and chasing away the darkness.
She shook her head, so sure this was another dream tormenting her. But his scent, dear God, it was so powerful again, overwhelming her.
Gleaming, sun-streaked brown strands brushed his broad shoulders. His tough, muscled body appeared leaner. But those tattoos…she blinked at the snakehead inked on his neck. The last time she’d seen it, blood gushed from the almost decapitating wound.
Her gaze rushed up to his lean, chiseled features sporting a light stubble, his otherworldliness vivid in familiar ice-green eyes that watched her with so much tenderness.
“Nik?” she whispered, too afraid to hope.
“It’s me.” He smiled, the single dimple coming to life. “It’s me, agápi mou.” He held out his hand, and ice flowers formed like once before.
Tears spilled over, trailing hot tracks down her cheeks. She dove into him with a huge sob, taking him down from his crouch onto his butt. The ice blooms fell to the floor and shattered. Strong arms wrapped around her, crushing her to him. “I have you, moró. I have you. I will never let you go.”
Resting on her knees, she pushed back, her wet gaze fixing on his. “How? I saw you d-die?”
Nik expression darkened. “I did. It was that accursed sword, one of the few heavenly weapons that can kill an immortal. I do
n’t know how the demon got a hold of it—oomph!” Nik exhaled, grabbing her as she threw herself at him again, shaking her head, her arms constricting him, her body shaking, her silent tears wetting his neck.
He pulled her on his lap, his arms tightening around her, his chest heaving as fast as hers…
Shadow shut her eyes just feeling him, then she pushed away again, staring into his beloved face. Cautiously, she trailed her fingers over his eyebrows, down his cheek to his intractable jaw, absorbing the feel of his skin that appeared slightly pale beneath his normal tan one.
Oh, God, please don’t let this be a dream.
Nik dragged her back into his arms and just held her. Seconds past, then minutes…
Shadow had no idea how long they sat on the floor. When her shuddering eased, she ran her palm up his back to his neck, soaking in feeling him.
“I’m never going to leave you, agápi,” Nik said softly, his voice muffled in her neck. “Never.”
Inhaling a trembling breath, she whispered, “It was Mammon, the Demon of Avarice. He probably killed an angel to get that sword.” She eased back a little, so she could see his face. “Anything he lusts for, he must have. It’s why he came after me, too, when he found out the truth about those symbionts Nate stole from him. I’m rare. An anomaly—”
“The coward,” he growled. “I’m going to find him, and he will wish for death by the time I’m done.”
She gave him a wobbly smile, touching his jaw again, finding it hard to believe he was here. “He’s dead.”
“What?” he demanded, looking a little pissed. “Did the others get him?”
“No, I did. Pithius and me.”
He froze. “You? How?” he rasped. “I saw a vision from Gaia. The hellhound hurt you! I thought-I thought…” His throat moved as if he couldn’t swallow.
She gently touched his rigid jaw and shook her head. “Came close to it. But it wasn’t the hound’s fault. Mammon trapped him with a spell. It’s why he attacked. I broke the spell through a brief feeding…”
Nik’s expression grew darker. She hastily explained how, with the hellhound’s eventual help, they’d both brought the demon down. “I guess with vengeance in my heart for what he did to you, and adrenaline charging through me, it powered my psychic abilities. I astral-projected and managed to take his heart. Pithius decapitated him and consumed his soul.”
Shattered Dawn (Fallen Guardians Book 5) Page 37
