by Niranjan K
“Must we talk shop?” Eve groaned. “That's all we ever talk about.”
Ray chuckled. “As if you weren't interested yesterday.”
There was a knock on the door.
“Must be Mom.” Anton said.
It was. Ray smiled at her, and Dad's whole face lit up, and Mom's smile was brighter than it had been the previous evening. “Have the kids been entertaining you?” she asked as she bent to kiss him. “Have you had breakfast? And your medicines?”
“Yes to all,” he said. “Though I don't see why I can't have breakfast like I used to at home. They only gave me toast. Nothing else.”
“Naturally,” she said, smiling, sounding amused. “They can't have you dropping dead now, can they? They're supposed to cure you, not make you worse.”
“Food never killed anyone.” Dad declared. “It's lack of food that kills people.”
“Poisoned tea is technically food.” Dan said. “Wasn't it that killed Gus?”
“Well, the doctors won't be giving me poison now, would they?” Dad asked, sounding exasperated.
“I don't think doctors prepare the food that patients eat.” Ray said, without smiling. “But of course, I'm not a doctor, so I could be wrong.”
Anton, Eve and Dan roared with laughter, and Mom chuckled.
“They're making fun of me,” Dad said in an injured tone. “You heard them, Daph? They're making fun of their sick father.”
At which they all started laughing again, with Dad joining in, though he pressed a hand to his chest and stopped almost immediately.
“It hurts if I laugh too much.” He grimaced. “What kind of a heart hurts if you laugh too much? That's crazy, isn't it? Stupid organ.”
The door opened and a doctor walked inside, accompanied by a nurse. “So, how are you today, Ned?” the doctor asked, smiling. “Ready to go home?”
“Can't wait.” Dad smiled. “These are my children, Josephine. Do you remember Eve and Ray? Do you all remember Josephine?”
As if any of them could forget. Ray smiled at her. “Of course, I remember. We were in the same class in high school.”
“I remember too.” She smiled at him. “God, Ray, you look so young! How do you manage that?”
Ray grinned, though his heart was hammering. “Comes of having an easy job, I should think,” he said lightly.
“I wish I had one,” she said. “No sun and sand for me, I'm afraid.” She turned to Dad with a smile. “So, how are you today?”
“I'll be fine if you people would feed me properly,” he said, looking sulky.
“We're thinking you'd want to live long enough.” She smiled at him before turning to them. “I need to examine Ned, so if all of you except Daphne can just step outside? It could take a while.”
“Go to the cafeteria and have something.” Mom said. “Bring a coffee for me and unsweetened black tea for Ned when you return.”
“Unsweetened-” Dad's voice rose in protest as they exited the room.
“That's an ongoing fight.” Anton chuckled. “Only Mom can handle him when he starts being unreasonable.”
“It's only for a short time, isn't it?” Ray asked. “I mean he can have an almost normal diet soon, can't he?”
“I never expected Josephine to become a doctor.” Dan said.
“Nor I,” Ray said, remembering the arch nemesis of his high school days.
“You used to utterly loathe her.” Eve chuckled. “You and Shane, both.”
“Yeah,” he shrugged, trying not to think of those days. “Children do a lot of things.”
“Including being tiresome little shits,” Dan said. “I always figured one of you must have had a crush on her.”
Ray's throat closed up, but he managed to roll his eyes and say, “You should write books. That's some imagination.”
“What did I say?” Dan shrugged. “Little shit.”
“You asked for it, to be fair.” Anton said.
“Oh of course, you're taking his side,” Dan said, sounding injured. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Stop being a drama queen.” Anton grinned.
It was strange being here and in the midst of all this. Ray couldn't remember the last time he had felt this - light was the only word he could think of. It was as if his chest was expanding, filling with something other than fear or grief or loss. It was a good feeling.
I should come home more often. Visit them more often.
He would too. Once he caught the rogue vampire, he would. Right this moment, it didn't even matter that Alistair and he still shared the sire bond. So, what if they did? It wasn't doing anything.
They took their seats in the cafeteria, and Eve said, “I'm sorry, I tried, but I can't... I'm sorry.”
“Eve?” Dan asked. “What are you talking about?”
“Dad,” she said. “I think he's going to die!”
Chapter Fourteen
Ray felt the bubble inside him burst and he couldn't speak. Why would Eve say something so horrible? Why would she even think something like that?
“How did you guess?” Dan asked even as Anton sighed and looked away.
Ray found his voice, if that squeaky unsteady thing could be called a voice. “Do you mean-” He cleared his throat and clenched his fists to prevent his hands from shaking. “Do you mean she's right? That Dad's going to...” He couldn't say it, he just couldn't. He was physically incapable of putting the words Dad and die in the same sentence.
“Yeah,” Anton nodded. “The doctors... They said there's nothing they can do for him, and we thought he should at least die at home. They say diet and medicines would help, but nothing can be done now to postpone the inevitable.”
Ray bit down on the laughter that was threatening to break out from his suddenly very tight throat. He wasn't supposed to laugh, was he? Not that any sound he made right now would even remotely resemble a laugh. Postpone the inevitable? Wasn't that a joke? Death was inevitable to all. All they had were the few short years between death and birth and now, Dad was out of time; Ray was out of time to make up for what he had done. To make amends. To apologise.
Ray swallowed. This wasn't about him. This was about his father and his mother and his family.
“How's-” He coughed. “How's Mom dealing?”
“She hasn't talked to either of us, if that’s what you mean.” Dan said. “But we all know how it's going to be. She... She needs us as much if not more than Dad... This may sound harsh, but Dad... He's going to be gone, but Mom will be here, and we have to be here and we need to stay strong for her... We've to make sure we pull her through this.”
“And how are we supposed to do that when she won't even talk to us?” Anton asked. “She... She shuts us down if we try...just like that...she won't let us... It's like, I don't know, she's in denial or something”
“She's trying to protect us.” Eve said. “What she's always done. Protect her kids. That's what she's doing now. She's not in denial. She just wants to keep us safe from the truth for as long as she can.”
“Look,” Ray said. “I know that you've been here, and talked to the doctors and all, but are we sure there's nothing to be done? I mean-”
“It isn't just his heart, Ray.” Anton said. “He's... He's old... I know we don't like to think it, but he is, and most of his organs have problems...” Anton paused. “If they could do something, they would have. Do you think Mom would have let him go without a fight? Do you think he would have given up without a fight? There's nothing anyone can do, but with luck, he still has a few good years left.”
“Is that what the doctors said?” Ray asked.
“They said that… um...patients in his condition,” Dan choked on the word and cleared his throat. “That people who are as bad as him...they... they don't live for more than a few weeks usually, but there's been cases where people have lived for years, so it's... It's just a toss-up, I guess, how much time he gets... The medicines and diet will help, but...”
“Nothing can postpone th
e inevitable.” Ray murmured, remembering Anton's words from before.
“All right,” Eve said, wiping her eyes. “So, Dad's dying, but he isn't dead yet, so let's make the most of the time he has, all right? We shouldn't be behaving as if he's already dead. We know the truth. We've... We've got to be strong enough to deal with it.” She looked at them, her eyes shimmering with tears, but with determination shining through. “We've got to be strong, not just for Mom and Dad, but for one another. Because we... we're going to need that too... so...”
Dan's hand covered hers. Anton took her other hand and Ray took Anton's other hand and Dan took his free hand.
“All right,” Dan said. “We won't push Mom, but we need to figure out a way to reach her. We can't allow her to bury her feelings inside trying to protect us. We're adults now. We can handle the truth.”
“There's something else I need to say,” Eve said, her gaze dropping to the floor and she pulled her hands out of her brothers' grasps to clench them together on the table. “I did... Or tried to do something... incredibly stupid.”
She looked at Ray, her gaze pleading, and he couldn't understand. What was she telling him? He gave her a smile he hoped was reassuring and said, “You know we won't judge you, Eve.”
He wouldn't anyway. He was the king of bad decisions and stupid deeds. How bad could it be?
“You can tell us,” Anton said. “We won't laugh.”
She chuckled at that, but shook her head. “I... You're probably going to be mad at me.”
“Well, I can't promise I won't be.” Dan said. “Because we all got shitty tempers, but Eve, whatever it is, we're with you, all right? Even if we get mad.”
Since when did Dan grow up so much? Ray felt a tightness around his heart. He hardly recognised his siblings. They had all grown so much, and not just physically.
“Thank you.” Eve said, drawing a few deep breaths as if bracing herself.
Dan's phone beeped. “It's Mom,” he said. “Wants to know where her coffee is. Dad's been sedated again.”
“We should go to her.” Eve said.
“I told her we're talking.” Dan said. Another beep. “She says to carry on.”
Eve nodded. “Okay. All right.”
“Eve, you don't have to tell us anything if you're not comfortable.” Dan said. “You know that, right?”
She nodded. “It's not that, it's just... I just don't know how to say it,”
“Just spit it out.” Anton said. “That's usually the best way.”
“All right,” Eve said. “I tried to kill Alistair.”
Ray felt as if all the air had been stolen from his lungs and he stared at his sister, unable to say a word. Anton gave a short whistle under his breath and Dan sat back and folded his hands across his chest.
“Good.” he said, his voice harsh and an ugly expression on his face.
Chapter Fifteen
Dan’s reaction was shocking, but a part of Eve couldn’t help feeling pleased, gratified. She wasn’t the only one who felt that Alistair was to blame for what happened to Ray, though now it did seem as if he was blameless.
“You what?” Ray sounded furious, and she winced. “Damn it, Eve! What the fuck?”
“Ray!” Dan’s voice was sharp.
“I’m sorry,” Eve said. “I thought...” she sighed. What had she thought? It was all a muddle.
“Why do you apologise?” Dan asked. “He deserved it! He betrayed our trust.”
“No, he didn’t!” Ray’s voice rose slightly and heads turned towards them, and he lowered it. “Don’t talk about things you don’t know about!”
“I’ve to second Ray here,” Anton said, before Dan could retort. “Even before this morning, I didn’t think Alistair was to blame.”
“What do you mean this morning?” Dan asked. “What happened this morning?”
“I mean Ray finally told us what actually happened.” Anton said.
“Which is?” Dan looked at Ray, question in his eyes.
“Which is that Alistair had no choice.” Ray said. “I poisoned myself. He saved my life when he turned me. He had no choice.”
“You don’t know that!” Eve burst out. “How do you know there wasn’t enough time to get you to the hospital?”
“I was there, Eve. I did my homework. I knew just how much time I had, and I waited till the last possible moment before I went to him. So, don’t go on blaming Alistair for this. It was entirely on me.”
“Well, I didn’t know that, did I?” she asked, knowing how defensive she sounded.
“Look,” Ray said. “All of you, just look and listen. Am I dead? Or am I here? He turned me, but now I’m here. I’m back. I’m human, and I have been for twelve years now. Even if… even if you blamed Alistair, even if you wanted revenge, revenge for what? I’m right here!”
“Not to say it is twenty-two years too late,” Anton said, biting into his burger. “What?” at Ray’s glare. “If they wanted revenge, they should have gone for it when you were first turned.”
Eve looked down. She didn’t like it, didn’t like this conversation, didn’t like that she was having to defend herself for wanting to protect Ray. “It wasn’t about revenge!” she said, unable to stop herself. “Not just that anyway.”
“Then what was it?” Anton asked.
Ray just kept glaring. Dan still looked shell shocked.
“Alistair saved your life?” he asked as if his brain could catch up only now.
“Yes, so now can we just leave him alone?” Ray asked.
“If he’s that altruistic, then why doesn’t he break the bond?” Eve asked, biting her lip as soon as the words were out. She hadn’t meant to blurt it out, not like this. Damn Ray for making her angry.
“What bond?” Dan asked. “The sire bond? How’s that possible?”
“I don’t know,” Ray said. “This entire thing is pretty much unprecedented, Dan. So, don’t ask me for answers because I’m as much in the dark as you all.”
“But the bond is there?” Anton asked, curiosity on his face. “You’re certain?”
“It’s there,” Ray said, sighing. “He’s not… he’s not manipulating it, but I can still feel it.” He looked at Eve, and his expression was so hard and forbidding, it might have been a stranger who sat there. “How do you know about it?”
Eve’s mouth was dry, and she swallowed. “I’ve my sources,” she said. “I’m sorry, Ray, I can’t tell you anything more.”
“You’ve to protect your sources.” Ray muttered.
She hated herself, and she hated Ray, and Brian for putting her in this situation.
“And are we going to ignore the fact that there’s this bond and Alistair hasn’t broken it yet?” Dan asked.
“He said he would if Ray asked him.” she said.
“You haven’t asked him?” Dan asked, looking astonished.
“I haven’t talked to him in twelve years,” Ray said, stabbing his fork on to a piece of carrot with more aggression than it deserved.
“All right,” Anton said, wiping his lips. “Let me recap, just for clarity’s sake. You”—He waved his napkin at Eve,—“tried to kill Alistair. But he isn’t dead. Neither are you.”
“He let me go with a warning not to try anything like it,” Eve said. “Honestly, I expected him to kill me.”
“He would have been within his rights.” Dan muttered. “Why didn’t he?”
Eve shrugged. She had no answer, at least no answer that wouldn’t immediately drown her in an ocean of guilt.
“What did he say he was going to do if you ever tried anything again?” Anton asked. Damn him and his curiosity.
“He said he’d tell Mom.” she said, not trying to hide how despondent she felt.
Ray shook his head. “Hitting below the belt. Wouldn’t have expected that of him.”
“Smart,” Dan said grudgingly. “Probably the only thing that would have put us off.”
Eve didn’t need to guess what her brothers were thinking. She
knew. To an outsider, it might have seemed as if Alistair treated her like a child, but he had known that telling Mom was the worst thing he could do to her. Not because Mom would have shouted or screamed or been angry, but Eve had no doubt how much it would disappoint her and she didn’t want to be the reason for that.
Their mom had never been disappointed in them, not even when Ray had pulled his stupid stunt, not when she had got herself pregnant like a stupid teen, not when Anton had got himself into drugs, not when Dan had alienated everyone in the family by getting stupidly drunk and yelling himself hoarse at Shane’s funeral. But this… this was different, because she had almost broken the centuries old treaty between vampires and hunters and had almost precipitated a war. Her mom might forgive her, but she would be so, so, disappointed, and Eve didn’t want that. Mom had always stood by her, no judgement, and had always been proud of her, of all of them, despite all their fuck-ups.
“We’re a bunch of fuck-ups who don’t deserve her,” she muttered, taking a sip of her tea that had gone cold.
“That we are,” Anton said. “That’s why we need to be there for her now.”
His words felt like someone had doused them all with cold water, bringing them back to the reality where Dad was dying and Mom was trying hard to protect them from the truth.
“I suggest we tell her we know.” Eve said. “If she realises she doesn't have to protect us any more, she may open up.”
She needed to. It wasn’t healthy for her to lock everything inside, but Eve wasn’t sure if her mother would still open up to them.
Perhaps it’s a good thing Alistair is here.
She pushed the thought away, guilt gnawing her insides.
Chapter Sixteen
Alistair could feel Ray. He could also hear his heartbeat. The way it spiked and again smoothed out, when it raced, and kept on racing… Was it strange that he could predict exactly how Ray must have been feeling just from his heartbeat? He didn’t even have to use the bond.
Ten years. Ten years Ray had been his fledgling. How Alistair had hated him, at first, for forcing him into doing what he swore he would never do again. It was Ray, though, and hatred didn’t last very long. To let him go after ten years… it had hurt, it was torture, but it had been the right decision, for Ray, for Ned and Daphne, for Ray’s siblings… for everyone except Alistair. He was all right now, though. The pain had dissipated over time, as he had known it would.
