My shoulders relaxed as I turned around to face him. “Boaz its fine and—-”
“No, and it’s my choice to make.” He turned his gaze to Mr. Carver. “We can meet here in my office, my associate Jerry will also be attending.” He cast me a sullen look. “My decision is for the best.” A smile flickered over his lips. “Don’t be mad.”
I sent him a wink. “I’m not.”
20
Ruthie
Two weeks passed in a blur. It was like from the first moment I saw Boaz at his home, I was on a thrilling train ride, and I never wanted to get off.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was this content. Sitting in my new apartment, with Naomi cooking breakfast on the stove. It was so sweet of Ms. Traugott to stick her neck out for us when it came to grabbing this place.
Naomi brought in our plates and set one down in front of me. The smell of steamed vegetables and eggs reached my nose.
“Don’t be afraid, eat up.” Her eyes alight with glee.
I reached for my fork and nodded happily. Something in Naomi changed yesterday, and I couldn’t have been happier. The hurt drowning in her eyes was now replaced with a sparkle. I didn’t want this moment to change ever. I was almost afraid to ask what brought about this change. As if one word might send her spiraling back into her depression.
“You’re positively glowing. Working with Boaz must agree with you,” she commented.
Watching her accumulate back into small town living, made me want to say the same for her. She almost seemed to be back to her old self. I stood up and took my finished plate back to the kitchen to be washed. My blue maxi dress causing me to shuffle when I walk less I trip. It was a little bit on the long side.
“My daughter,” she called out to me from the other room. “I haven’t forgotten. I know I need to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for.”
I went back over to the breakfast nook and sat across from her. “What are you talking about? We just moved in here. I thought you liked this place. Ms. Traugott went through a lot of trouble to get us to this place. But not just that. I like it here.”
The older woman was beaming back at me. “You can’t live with me forever. And I see how happy you are with Boaz. Not only is he a relative of ours, but you’ve become really close to the women that you work with. I don’t think there is a better match for you.
My gaze flickered to hers, and back at her plate. “It’s been a difficult path for you, and I’m thankful that you finally opened your heart again. But the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
“Hurt me? Seeing you two together has really helped me.” She took another bite of her food and flashed me a smile.
I picked up my glass of orange juice and took a sip. “How so?”
“Truth be told, it’s what you helped me to see. That there’s still some good in this world. That love still exists despite the darkness.” Tears peppered Naomi’s eyelashes. “I see the way you look at him. All that he’s done for us since we’ve been here. No more than strangers to him despite our blood.”
Relief washed over me, I wasn’t quite sure how Naomi would feel about the two of us getting close. The past few days, I had assumed that German Village was responsible for the transformation in her. It never occurred to me that it might be my relationship with Boaz. “Mom, I really haven’t done anything other than fill in at the hospital and help out with his recovery.”
Naomi lifted an eyebrow at me. “You cook dinner for him every night, Ruthie. His back hurts, he’s not paralyzed. And every night after dinner you go on long moonlight strolls. Then you come home and hide it all from me like a teenager with her first boyfriend. I only know about all this because of Jia.”
I felt like a teenager sometimes. Each day I was growing closer to Boaz. Although there were still times when I worried about his health. Those fears were replaced by a new and exciting feeling. One I hoped to explore more of. “Boaz is becoming an important person in my life. Not just with work but personally.” I paused and reached across the table to take her hand. “If you feel like I’m betraying Kohen by pursuing this—-. Well, I just wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize our relationship. You’re the most important person in my life.”
She gave my hands a firm squeeze. “I’m positive that Kohen would want you to be happy.”
The fears that kept me in a box, trapped in a darkened room seemed to be slowly easing up. I began to wonder if Boaz could liberate us from the isolated lives we’ve built for ourselves. Like his mother saved us from that bed and breakfast.
“So it’s more than alright with me. In fact, is that what you’re wearing to work?” Pointing to my dress.
“Yeah what’s wrong with it. I’m mostly going to be sitting at the desk while Felicity shadows Boaz. We take turns. Not that he likes it much.”
She looked at me, quite mischievous. It was nice to see her excited about something again. “Then we have to find you something to wear to dinner. Your best dress. And you can borrow some of my perfume. Don’t let him know what’s up until you get back to his place. And then after you have finished eating and drinking. Perhaps this evening’s conversation will look a lot different.” She grabbed my hand and pushed me towards my closet.
* * *
“How are you feeling?” Was the first question out of my mouth when Boaz opened the door.
Seeing him standing there with a quilt thrown over his shoulder and sweatpants was a little off-putting considering he was always so well put together. But he was still as handsome as all get out. Even with disheveled bedroom hair, and a light sheen of sweat across his forehead.
He called to cancel all his morning appointments, and I spent most of the day helping his evening fill-in navigate Ms. McCarthy. I couldn’t wait to rush over and figure out what was wrong. He didn’t want to talk about it over the phone and had sounded horrible. I stormed past him hearing the tea kettle go off in the kitchen.
“I’m feeling like I have the flu on top of everything else, and I’m badly in need of some green tea.” He croaked. His slippers sliding across the floor after me.
I turned and pushed him down the hallway. “Oh no, you don’t. Tuck yourself right into bed. Dinner and tea are coming to you.” I went back into the kitchen and searched for a mug and a bit of honey. Taking the steaming cup back to his room.
Boaz wrapped both hands around the mug and took a sip. While I brought the blankets up around his waist. This definitely was not what I had planned for tonight. “Looks like there won’t be any walk tonight.” I was too embarrassed to explain my dress, and prayed that he wouldn’t ask.
Eventually, Naomi had settled on a little black dress that hugged my curves. Feeling as nervous as I was, I didn’t even think I’d be able to find the words to express my feelings. At least I had a good excuse to put it off for another day. Mostly, I just wanted to see him through this. Everything was just better when we were together. “I can actually make you some soup if you like?”
With thoughts of us taking our platonic relationship to the next level, food was the last thing on my mind though. Cooking would be a nice distraction.
“Yes, that was actually going to be my next step.” He put his mug on the side table. “But you don’t need to stay and be my maid. I’m not going to be great company tonight. I’m sure you have better things to do than nurse me.”
I lowered my head and folded my arms over my chest. “What! And ruin our two-week dinner streak. I think not.”
Boaz hesitated and shook his head. Reaching for the mug on the nightstand and missing it by a few inches causing it to fall and shatter on the floor. He sighed heavily and removed his blankets, preparing to get up.
“Oh don’t worry I’ll get it.”
He held up his hand to stop me. “No Ruthie. No!”
I winced. “Did I say something wrong? Do you want me to go get more tea?”
My heart skipped a beat. Maybe I had misread everything that was between us. I had no
idea what was going on in his head right now. But I couldn’t let him continue to push me away. “You don’t get to speak to me that way. You’re not feeling well and I have to take care of you. Its why I’m here. Now, don’t you dare put your feet on the ground. There’s glass.”
I stomped off to the bathroom to find towels and a broom and dustpan. Leaning on the sink and taking a deep breath before going back into the bedroom items in hand. The towel swung over my shoulder. I tried to avoid his gaze as I swept up the glass.
“You know its okay to accept help sometimes.” Using the towel to wipe up the spilled tea with my foot.
His head jerked back. “Help? An injury like this would have taken me a couple days to bounce back from. But here I am two weeks later. I get it better than anyone, I’m older now. I’m not as spry as the younger guys you’re probably used to seeing chasing you around, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like I’ve got one foot in a nursing home.”
“You misunderstood me. When I said that I have to take care of you, I wasn’t trying to imply that it was because I thought you were old.” My shoulders hunched, I abandoned the towel on the floor and sat on the bed beside him. “It was because I wanted to. There is no other place I’d rather be.”
He moved to speak, but I cut him off.
“I’m going to go get that soup for you.”
I searched through the cabinets for some condensed chicken soup. It was hard for me to imagine Boaz with any insecurities yet our age difference seemed to be a sore spot for him. I didn’t want to belittle his concerns by telling him that it never occurred to me. He was just Boaz. The soup finished fifteen minutes later and I brought it into Boaz room on a tray, but he was already asleep.
The covers bunched up around his legs. His back brace and white t-shirt discarded on the floor, revealing his bare chest and sweatpants. I sat the tray down on the side table, before reaching for the covers and covering his sleeping form. Taking the tray back out into the kitchen. I suppose I could have left quietly, but something was telling me to stay. So instead I found myself on the couch, channel surfing. Until one of my favorite movies caught my attention. An hour into it I began to hear noises
“Tracy. Tracy. Pick up the phone.”
I rushed back into the room unsure of what I might find. Only to see Boaz tossing and turning. Fighting with unknown demons in his sleep. I sat on the edge of his bed and tried to wake him to no avail. Shaking his shoulders and tapping him lightly on the cheek. I toyed with the idea of even calling his mother, but I knew that would only make Boaz angry. Unable to resist wiping the stray tear from his eye. What kind of hurt was he in now?
Instead, I stood up to get away from his thrashing arms, and whispered into his ear, “It’s just a bad dream, will fight it together, and I’ll be here when you wake.”
I pulled off my pumps and slid into his queen size bed, laying at his feet. Rubbing his legs through the blanket in the hopes that he would simmer down. I’m not sure when but I must have fallen asleep. Because the next thing I remember is being jolted awake by a pain in my arm. It looked like Boaz had kicked me.
“Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m your employee, Ruthie,” I replied. “Don’t you remember? Maybe I should have taken you to the hospital.”
He shook his head. Before running the palms of his hands over his eyes in one smooth motion. “I’m sorry. For a moment I was somewhere else. Of course, I remember you. What are you doing here though?”
“They joke that you’re the guardian-redeemer of our family. Because you’re always there for everyone in need, but there was a moment just now when you were in need, and I wanted to be the one to be there for you.”
“It wasn’t a fever-induced nightmare, but a memory, of my former wife. Bless you, for even staying,” he replied. “It’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me. And seeing you lying there so peacefully, is one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever beheld.” He rubbed his hand across his chin. “Immortality and getting older has never been two subjects that keep me up at night. Until I met a woman that I wanted to be everything for.”
I smoothed out the bottom of my dress. “Please believe me when I say that your age was never a factor for me, but your heart. You’re a good man, Boaz.”
He came up close to me so that he was holding my hand. “Please don’t be afraid or scared. This is my first relationship after my wife as well as yours. But there is no other person on this earth that I would rather take this journey with than you.”
“I feel the same way. I love you.”
He grinned. “I’d kiss you if I weren’t so sick.”
I brought my hand up to his forehead and felt it with the back of my hand. “It looks like your fever may have broke. I’ll take my chances.” Leaning over to give him a smooch on the lips.
21
Boaz
Everything was planned out to the last detail. The places we visited and the sites that we saw. Even taking her to a fancy restaurant afterward to eat. So much had changed since Ruthie came into my life. A tremendous invisible weight was lifted from my shoulders, that I didn’t even know was there. More importantly, she trusted me with her past and all the sadness that it brings.
With Naomi, my mom, and Jia occupied, now was as good a time as any to tell a little truth of my own and hope that I knew her like I think I do. I put the car in park, stuck in Merion Village, as we waited for the train to pass by. It was one of those long ones where you could never tell when it was over. But I had gotten here in enough time to make it to my last surprise.
“Ruthie, I want you to know everything that happened with my former wife.” I took a deep breath and released it. “I’ll answer any questions you have. I know in the beginning you thought that I blamed you for the accident. But when I told you I could never blame you I meant that.”
She reached over and held my hand. “I’m sorry you lost her. And I’m sorry if I did anything to bring those memories back for you. I know how painful that can be.”
I turned and concentrated on the sparks flying up. The train wheels hitting the track. “It feels like a time long past and then something happens and boom it was like it happened yesterday. But the accident didn’t remind me of you for the reasons you think.” I choked back a sob, as not to cry, and ruin the moment. “The car accident was my fault, Ruthie.”
“I’m confused. someone told me that it was an accident.” She smoothed the hair out of her face.
I pulled my hand out of her grasp and ran it over the steering wheel. “I was at work as usual. If I had been with her I don’t know if things would have been better or worse. I was in veterinary mode and had found a baby squirrel that had a deformed foot. It had been forgotten by its mother.” I looked out of the driver side window and still could not see the end of the train. The car radio softly playing in the background. I gripped the steering wheel with the might of a thousand bulldogs, my knuckles turning white.
Ruthie’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”
I shook my head. If I didn’t do this now it would be too late. “I…I was on the phone with her when she crashed.”
“You heard everything?” she tilted her head. “That must have been awful.”
I nodded. “It hurts even worse when you know it’s your fault. Kind of how you felt.” It was difficult to admit that the most important thing in my life I couldn’t keep safe. That the main person that I had to keep her safe from was me. I wish I could have been a better husband to her.
“So let me get this straight. You only said that you forgave me because you can relate. Not because you really thought I was innocent. Is that what you’re saying?”
I turned my gaze on her so she could look me in the eye and she would know that I wasn’t lying. “Of course not. My forgiveness is no trick or consolation prize. I smiled. You are innocent and it is not your fault.”
She returned my smile. “Then what are we talking abou
t? If I’m innocent, so are you.”
I did my best to answer. “We were arguing about a squirrel. My pregnant wife was reasonably upset. It became obvious pretty early on that she wasn’t going to change her mind about this. But I was a vet first. I demanded that she allow me to bring home the squirrel. I wasn’t exactly saying it politely. It was a stupid argument, but her mind wasn’t on driving. And I paid for it with my wife and unborn child. I’ll carry that guilt as long as I live.”
We both watched as the train car went by with some unintelligible graffiti written on the side.
“I know now that work should never be a priority over family.”
She leaned over and gave me a small peck on the cheek. “It’s obvious from the way that you talk about her that you loved her. You also love what you do. Those are two great things. But arguments between married couples are bound to happen. The accident wasn’t your fault.”
I pulled her into a hug. As much as I could manage with the gear shift in between us. “Honestly Ruthie. I don’t have the best motives in telling you this right now.”
Ruthie scrunched up her forehead. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that right now we should be on the other side of this train at a park but it’s not going to work out that way so I’m going to have to improvise.” I turned up the radio and stepped out of the car. Rushing around the side to grab her door and help her out.
She blushed uncontrollably. “What are we doing here?”
Only two minutes passed before they began to play her favorite song. Just like I had requested them to. “It’s the Fighter by Keith Urban. The song you were singing when I found you in my kitchen washing the dishes.” I held out my hand for her to take. “Ruthie, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”
Miracle Walk (The Designed Love Series Book 2) Page 13
