by S Lawrence
“He’s the sweetest out of all of them.” Lillian is looking down at my phone and then looks up, locking eyes with me. I see the warning. Don’t hurt him.
“The most broken, I think.” Charlie is looking out at the mountain. “He lost the most maybe, besides Luc. Over and over, he lost and even without his memories, he blamed himself. It broke him.” She turns her head and pins me with a look. “Are you going to break him even more?”
How do I respond? I don’t want to, of course, but I have no idea what I’m going to do.
“How long did it take you to decide to do this? To join this war?” I avoid the real question I want to ask.
“I chose Torryn, I think, the second time I spoke to him, if I’m honest.” Lillian looks beyond me to Charlie. “He sacrificed himself to save me. Lucky for me, Luc saved the crazy man.”
“I smelt Dagen and I think that was it.” Charlie laughs when she sees my face. “The man smells like chocolate and of course, he almost died multiple times for me.”
So they both knew, like, immediately.
“Maybe we should call Evander and have him bring the other guys over.” Charlie looks at Lillian and then back at me. “I mean, we think maybe Arkyn is the guy for you, but Lillian, even you met everyone.” She holds up her hand when Lillian starts to protest. “I know you were just kidding. Dagen told me he loved the look on Torryn’s face when you asked. But maybe Arkyn is meant for someone else, someone who will protect him.”
Lillian nods and takes out her phone while I start to get angry.
“True, he needs someone to heal him.” Heal him. Heal. I’m a fucking doctor.
I HEAL people.
“Hey, Bossman. Can you get Victor, Drayce, and Zeph to come on over here? We might have been totally off.” Lillian stands and paces away, her voice dropping. “No. Charlie and I both agree we won’t let him be hurt.”
Jumping up, I stalk to her, and she turns slowly. “Hold on, Evander.”
“I wouldn’t hurt him. I’m not going to hurt him.” I spin away and jerk my phone back out.
‘I’m going home. Please meet me.’ I hit send because I don’t know what exactly I want him to do. I don’t stop walking until I jerk the door of the Jeep open. As I back out of the driveway, I see the two women watching from the door I left standing open.
* * *
I grin at Lillian and she grins back. It was almost too easy. Citlali is tough and strong, just the kind of woman Arkyn needs to heal his heart and soul.
“Oh, shit.” I look at Lillian again as the headlights race away.
“What?”
She shakes her head as she responds, “We didn’t tell her about how we got our wings or about how the guys got theirs.”
“Surprise.” We both start laughing and have tears streaming from it when both Torryn and Dagen land in front of us.
“What did you do?” Soon their laughter fills the air.
Chapter 16
ARKYN
She is pissed.
I can feel my anger rising at the thought of them hurting her. Luc and Zeph are standing beside me when the text comes through.
“I need to get to her house. To her.” I’m shaking and I can feel my demon forcing his way forward to help me protect her.
“I can take you there,” Luc offers, soothing my demon only slightly.
“I felt her.” My hand rubs over my chest.
“Let me help you. Help her.” I nod as I reach for his outstretched hand.
“This is it, brother. She is reaching out to you.” Zeph wraps his arms around me and squeezes me, an apology and reassurance. “Let her in.” He steps back as quickly as he moved forward.
I don’t say anything. Luc nods at Zeph, who makes his way to the entrance, and I realize he has been left to protect Sitara.
Traveling through the world with Luc is an amazing privilege few have experienced. I watch atoms and molecules slip by us, marveling at the wonder of it all.
‘She was created for you, Arkyn. If you let her, she can heal your soul.’
My jaw clenches at his words.
‘Did you know that even your demon is different from the others?’ Frowning, I try to focus on him, but we are nothing, just parts of the universe. Then just as suddenly as we came apart, we are whole again and standing in front of a cute little home that screams Lali. Tidy, well-groomed flower beds frame the front door.
“How is the demon different?” He sighs but smiles at the question.
“Do you ever feel the others’ demons?” I try to think of the others. Of course I have but I guess I’ve never really paid attention.
“I mean yes, but they all feel powerful and not evil but angry. So angry.” He nods.
“And yours?” I shrug, he feels the same to me. “Yours was so different. I felt him before I filled him with your essence. I knew you in Heaven, Arkyn. You have always been a gentle soul, even among the angels, and yet you raced to try to save Archangels. You tried to fight. You went up against someone you knew would kill you.” He pauses, looking at my face.
I don’t deny it. I’ve always been weak.
“That isn’t weakness, Arkyn. That’s the definition of courage.” I disagree, but it’s stupid to argue with the Devil. “Your demon was the same—not as powerful but willing to battle anyone or anything to protect people. He’s a little broken like you, and Lali can help you both. If you let her.”
I’m about to respond, but then he’s gone. Poof. I’m staring into empty space when the night is lit up by headlights.
I can see her face through the windshield as she stops and shuts off the engine. She doesn’t move, and neither do I. I will stand here as long as she needs me to.
The night is filled with noise; birds calling to one another, bugs searching for food, traffic in the streets just a short distance away, and the barks of dogs, but even with all of the cacophony, I hear her drag in a deep breath.
She releases it slowly, and I brace myself for her decision. I memorize every curve and line of her body as she opens the door and climbs from the vehicle. Her long nimble fingers nervously play over the keys before she shoves them in her pocket. The fingers on her other hand fidget with her wild hair before tucking some of the strands behind her ear, and then she finally looks at my face.
I memorize the gold and surprising flecks of green sprinkled in their darkness. She doesn’t blink. Instead Lali seems to be doing the exact thing I am.
I watch as something flickers in those unique eyes, some emotions I can’t quite puzzle out.
I’m still trying when she strides forward, moving faster than I’m expecting until she practically slides to a stop in front of me. Our breaths mingle due to our closeness.
I’m frozen, paralyzed by her nearness. Then those beautiful fingers reach up and curve around my cheeks.
“You don’t need anyone else.” I have no idea what she’s talking about but I can hear the anger threaded through her voice. “I’m a healer.”
“I know,” I whisper, still completely confused.
She surprises me again when she crashes into me. It is no soft tender kiss; it is quite simply a claiming.
Something inside me breaks wide open.
Claimed. Chosen. Worthy.
My eyes fill with tears, tears that have been held at bay for hundreds of years, hell, maybe my entire existence.
She kisses me deeper, exploring my lips and the dark heat of my mouth. I do the same, tasting and savoring the flavor of her.
She reminds me of a chocolate I tasted in a small southern village in Mexico. It was rich with a subtle spice that exploded on my tongue.
I liked it so much, I have it shipped to my home but now, well, now I can have her instead. My hands find their way into her curls, trying to pull her even closer. Breaking away from me, she drags in a breath as I fight for mine.
“I had to know.” I wonder what. “They said you needed someone else. That I should meet the others.”
“The girls?” Sh
e nods.
“But I don’t want to. Do you?” My mind is stuck on the image of her meeting the others. “I connected to you. Just you. That means something, doesn’t it?”
“I hope so.” I hate that I can’t just say what I’m thinking.
I want to say no, you can’t meet them. You are mine. Mine alone. Created for me. My fear eats at me though, and I remain silent.
“Do you need me, Arkyn?” She peers into my eyes, looking for my answer.
Her face softens even after my silence lingers. I can’t imagine what she saw. Need. Desire. Longing. Or was it worse?
Hope.
Fingers slide down my neck, over my shoulder, and keep going until they thread through my own.
I let her lead me inside in a fog because my brain doesn’t seem to be working properly.
Not until the clicking sound of the lock echoes in the dark silence of her home. That sound jump-starts my thoughts.
“Lali?” She’s leaning against the door just watching me, waiting once again. “What? I mean, did they tell you everything?”
“You mean about my choice?” I nod once, fear skating down my spine. “I thought that’s what I just did.”
No nonsense surgeon. Breath rushes from my lungs.
“Are you sure?” She smiles. It’s the smile all women have, secret knowledge of their power hidden in it. Men should both fear and work endlessly for it.
“Zeph wasn’t wrong, Arkyn. I saw the truth of you when you stayed with me while Theon had me and I was lost in his nightmare. You are a beautiful man, inside and out.”
“I don’t think I agree with that.” She frowns, stepping forward.
Her fingers close around one of my braids, tightening as she steps around me. She pulls it firmly, leading me down a dark hallway.
Her voice floats back, and I feel my lips start to curve into a grin. “I will just have to change your mind.”
“How do you plan to do that?” That secret smile peeks through her hair as she glances back at me.
“Let me show you.” She pulls me farther into the room. Turning me, she starts to back me towards the bed, shoving me the last few feet so that I end up falling back on the overstuffed mattress. The velvet is warm and soft under my hands. “Take off your shirt, Arkyn.”
Sitting up, I grab the edge of the t-shirt and drag it up over my head. She just drinks me in as I hold my breath, trying to forget that while I’m not a virgin, it has been a while.
She steps toward me and I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut. “I...well... I mean...” She smiles as I pause. “It’s just that it’s been a while.” I close my eyes. Jeez, I really am a girl.
“How long is a while? Because it’s been a while for me as well.” She continues forward, climbing up onto my lap. “I mean I’ve not been with anyone since my ex, and that was…” She rolls her eyes back, thinking. “Nine months ago.” She shrugs.
Nine months. I want to both laugh and cry at the same time. Fuck. Nine months is a blink of an eye. Do I answer her with the truth?
“Spill.” She laughs a little even as she leans forward and kisses me along my neck.
Leaning back, she stares at me when I don’t speak. Okay, I refuse to start this with a lie.
“It’s been a bit longer for me.” She waits, giving me time to gather my courage while doing calculations in my head. “Seven hundred sixty-three days.”
Her eyes widen, and then I see excitement. Excitement.
“Seven hundred sixty-three days exactly,” she murmurs.
“Not that I’ve been counting.” She smiles bigger, and it is like a sunrise, as cheesy as that sounds. She literally lights up the room with her happiness.
“Is there a reason?” I don’t want to tell her the real reason so I just shake my head. I can tell by the slight narrowing of her eyes she doesn’t believe me, but she lets it go. “Well, good, because I have plans for you.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” One word and then she’s pulling her own shirt over her head.
She’s beautiful.
Perfect.
She’s curvy with a classic hourglass shape, full breasts and hips that flare out. Her body begs for my touch, but when I lift my hand, it’s shaking.
Have you ever wanted something so bad it terrifies you? She is everything, more than I could’ve hoped for. More than I deserve. She takes my hand, bringing it to the lilac lace and satin that covers one perfect breast. I feel the nipple harden under my palm.
The way I want her is savage and primal, and yet I only want to be tender and gentle.
I bend my head close and taste her skin as I let my hand begin to roam. My head raises to check her reactions, and she is smiling that smile. I take it as an invitation to continue. I flick my tongue over the pulse that’s pounding in her throat, tasting her arousal. My body hardens in response, and it draws a moan from her as she shifts her hips against me.
The movement makes me feel suddenly aggressive, and I pull her to me. I lick my way down the valley between her breasts, lifting her body up, holding her off my lap as I fight the urge to devour her.
Her fingers wrap around my braids, sliding down until she reaches the bands that hold them. Plucking them off, she begins to undo them.
Rarely is my hair free, but I long to feel her fingers in it. She doesn’t disappoint me. Her short, blunt nails scratch along my scalp and goosebumps skate across my skin. Those fingers pull my head tighter against her flesh. Pushing the fabric down, I suck her hardened peak into my mouth, rolling it between my teeth, testing to see what amount of pressure she wants or needs.
Her back arches when I apply even more. The movement pulls her free of my mouth, and she uses her hands to jerk my head back. Something in me comes alive at her show of power and dominance. I feel my demon perk up, feel him looking out at her.
She pauses, keeping my head bent back as she stares into my red eyes.
“I know you won’t hurt me. But do you know that I won’t hurt you?” I nod. “You do? I wonder.” She jerks on my hair, and I let her fall back onto my lap. She pulls until I’m flat on my back on her bed. Her hands leave my hair and slide along the velvet cover until they close over my own hands.
She watches me as she drags them up over my head. “Do you trust me?”
I feel one moment of panic, mind flashing to punishments my demon received in Hell. ‘Do you trust me?’ I ask him. I feel him start to calm. I nod at her and hold still as she ties my wrists with a black silken rope.
The fact that she has it there waiting gives me and the demon a rush of jealousy.
“There are things they didn’t know about me. Things you didn’t see during our connection. I’m a dominant. I need the control. Does it bother you?” I shake my head. “I think we will fit perfectly.”
“Why?”
“Because I can give you exactly what you need. I can show you exactly how worthy you are.” I blink. “I will worship you in a way you’ve never imagined.”
My body throbs at the thought, and the demon practically purrs. We both understand this is her showing us something important. She sees us as we are, she sees how broken we’ve become, and she still finds us worthy.
My body that I didn’t realize was straining against the bonds relaxes.
She once again reaches above me for something, and her face coming close is the last thing I see as she covers my eyes. I know and she knows I could get free, but that’s the point, isn’t it? Trust.
I let my eyes close behind the cloth, ready.
Time to let her start to heal my broken pieces.
Chapter 17
CITLALI
I memorize the faith in his dark eyes before I cover them.
I had told him I was dominant and I can be, but it’s not a must. The rope and fabric are left over from my last relationship.
Before I went into surgery, I had thought I might try mental health but I grew too attached to my patients.
He needs this more than I. The restr
aint, the darkness. The deprivation shutting down the self-doubt that was filling every molecule of his being.
It will be my life’s mission to show him how worthy and deserving of love he is.
I kiss along his jaw, avoiding his lips for now, moving lower and lower, stopping at the waist of his faded jeans. The muscles in his stomach twitch, and he makes a small sound in the back of his throat as I unbutton then slide the zipper down.
I let my breath whisper over him as I stare; the length of his dick is impressive. My tongue licks over my bottom lip as I imagine it filling me.
Sliding off him completely, I work the pants off until he is lying completely bare before me. Stripping off my own clothes, I watch as he fights to remain still, even as his head tilts slightly as he tries to pinpoint my exact location.
I can’t help but stare at his perfection. He’s slim but solid muscle, abs for days, and those deep cuts at his hips. He is the most handsome native man I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been surrounded by them my whole life. I wonder for a moment if he was created this way or if he chose to look like those he couldn’t save. The thought makes me want to weep, because I know the answer deep in my heart. Another punishment for another failure in his eyes.
Pushing the thought away, I step to the edge of the bed and let my fingers feather over his leg, working my way up.
I’m the healer and I will mend his broken pieces, and it starts right now.
I close my fingers around the long length of him, reveling in the hot velvet feel of him and the glistening moisture on the tip. Mouthwatering.
Holding it up, I begin to lower myself to the hard flesh. My hair slides over his thighs then higher over his stomach, and again he makes a noise, although this time it’s deeper, more animal-like.
My tongue flicks out, catching the pearled drop. The taste explodes over my tongue, and it’s my turn to moan. I hear the rope stretching as that moan vibrates over him.
So much power. I hold it all, and it is as addicting as he is. Grinning, I begin to devour him, slowly licking, kissing, and nibbling over every inch before making my way back to the top.
