by S Lawrence
I wasn’t expecting him to say that. I feel a sense of dread shiver through me.
“What’s wrong?” Now.
Turning back to face me, he locks his celestial eyes on mine. “She has already locked onto his secret shame.” Lali. “She will use it to try to win this fight with him and whether she wins or not, the damage will be done. This woman who already knows of us, I hope she can help repair the damage. He won’t give up on your woman, even if it means losing himself.”
I don’t know what to say; am I sacrificing my brother for my destiny?
“Do you think my Father had His hand in this prophecy?” I nod at his question. “I didn’t want to believe it but now I’m not so sure. If He did, you can trust that EVERYTHING has a purpose. He is breaking each of you for a reason.”
I glance away, giving myself time to get the nerve to ask the question that I know will not be well received.
“Does that include you?”
His eyes narrow, and he disappears. So, yes then.
Letting my head fall back, I stare up into the night sky. No one knows where God has gone, why He abandoned us, left us to this war. I still find myself searching the skies for Him. I’ve often sat in the desert or high on mountain tops and looked for the One that made me.
It has often been in anger, my screams filling the silence of the remote places. My power lighting up the skies, calling attention to me, hoping He will finally hear me.
Does He? I don’t know but He never answers.
“Do You hear our prayers? Our cries for help? Do You hear our rage? Do You feel it? I don’t understand the purpose of this. Why create us this way? Why let us be slaughtered and brought back? He couldn’t do it if You didn’t allow it.” I fall silent and instead listen, ears trained to hear even the slightest whispered answer from the Creator. Nothing.
Wait, what is that? Jerking my head up I look around. It was no whispered word from God; it was fabric against fabric. Someone is near. The hair on my neck rises. Someone is and has been watching me.
I slowly let my eyes drift over all the rooftops near me. There is nothing, no one. That I can see anyway.
“You should come out.” I don’t yell it, just say it quietly while letting my eyes drift.
My gaze moves farther out, maybe they aren’t as close as I thought. The sound of wings drowns out everything else. Shit. Dagen lands next to me.
“What’s up?” I look at my brother as he folds his wings away. He takes his time, and I begin to grow impatient. “Dagen.”
“Any word on your girl?”
I’m not fooled by the nonchalant tone. “Not really. They’ve only been gone hours. Learning control can take a while, as you know.” He nods at my words. “Why?”
“I just thought Zeph was supposed to be trying to find the next descendant and I couldn’t help but notice he didn’t come back.”
We weren’t trying to keep it a secret but the reason for choosing Zeph, I’m not sure if that is information he wants shared with everyone. “Spill it, Arkyn.”
“Nothing to tell.”
“Didn’t your girl just tell us that secrets are what will tear us apart?” His head tilts slightly as he studies my reaction.
I turn away and look out at the rooftops once again. “This is not my secret to tell.”
“Zeph?” I nod.
“Do you remember what he was before in Heaven?” Memories of watching Zeph practice his skills play through my head.
“Badass justice-delivering machine.” Dagen grins at the memories that drive Zeph to hide his true self.
“Have you seen that part of him here or recently?”
Dagen frowns. “No, I guess I haven’t.”
“He didn’t like his job. He doesn’t like the killing. It’s why he helps those that he does.” Dagen frowns. “The children.” I can tell by his total look of confusion he has no idea what I’m talking about. “You really have no idea, do you?”
He shakes his head as his hands wave at me. I don’t hurry though; instead I savor my knowing something he doesn’t for a moment.
The sound of more wings flapping drags both our eyes to the sky above us. The others have arrived.
“I’m glad you’re all here. Arkyn was just about to tell me why Zeph is still in Hell.” Dagen smiles as Charlie walks to his side and tucks in against his side.
“Actually, I was just wondering how you could have spent thousands of years around a man and not have any idea what he does when he isn’t fighting the Fallen.”
Lillian glances between us, shaking her head. “You mean how he works to save children all over the world?”
Dagen’s mouth drops open and Charlie laughs. “Really, babe? Zeph runs like three different organizations that work to save kids from every horror you can imagine. Human traffickers, wars, pretty much anything else that can happen to the most vulnerable of humans. I know specifically he has a group of ex-soldiers that do nothing but track and rescue kids being sexually exploited.”
“How? How do you all know and I didn’t?”
“I asked?” Both women say at the same time.
I chuckle because I know for certain they had to have done more than ask. No way Zeph would have volunteered that information so easily.
“So, the baddest enforcer of all God’s laws is now a babysitter.” I see the moment he remembers Zeph with Chana in his arms at the desert house. “Oh.”
“He’s trying to make up for all the deaths.” Lillian shakes her head even as she says the words.
“It was his job.” Dagen still doesn’t seem to get it.
“He has PTSD, if angels or demons can get it.” I nod at Charlie’s thought.
I actually think it is more like survivor’s guilt. He hates his part in Raphael’s death. I’m positive that’s the driving force behind him agreeing to help me with Citlali.
She is the last link to his best friend. He wants to save her where he couldn’t save Raphael. I feel bad for taking advantage of his feelings of responsibility.
“I need to find the woman.” I change the subject, and they let me. “Have we traced the call yet?”
“Burner.” Shit. I guess it was too much to hope for that she’d use her actual phone.
Dagen pulls out his own phone and plays the recording of the call. Such as it is.
“Tell Arkyn she is at a house with an iron gate on Nieuwe Keizersgracht.” That’s it. Nothing else, no hints as to who the caller is.
“Helpful,” Charlie sighs.
“Well, we know she isn’t from here.” I lock my eyes on Dagen as he speaks. “No accent. Or at least not one from here.”
“I’d say Asia, somewhere.” Lillian frowns. “The Fallen haven’t settled there in a very long time so I can’t really narrow it down much. But I would say not Japan or Thailand, so maybe China. Play it again, Dagen.”
She closes her eyes and concentrates as the recording plays. Her head shakes as her finger circles. Dagen plays it again. Head tilted to the side, she leans closer.
“It’s weird, I can almost hear a hint of Zeph’s accent when he gets mad.” Russian. A smile lights her face and she looks at me. “Mongolia, maybe, right along the Russian border.”
What in the world would have brought her here? I didn’t realize I said it out loud until Charlie speaks.
“Citlali said she felt like the woman was watching her for the entire time. Maybe the Fallen’s magic drew her, or Avalon’s. Maybe she has been following the Fallen.”
The thought of one of the women being able to track the Fallen is heady. The advantage it could give us.
“Maybe she can sense the other women,” Dagen offers. It could be that she could have just felt Lali’s pain. “Although it at least seems that she could see through Avalon’s shields.”
The mention of Avalon has me once again wondering where the ancient place has disappeared to. It would be helpful to be able to hide in plain sight. More helpful to try to learn the magic of those that built it.
> I don’t know much about those that lived there before. I don’t think anyone does.
“Lillian, did you learn anything about those that built Avalon while you were kept there?”
“Not really, only that they were betrayed by someone. Of course, now we know that was Theon. The ancient beings that had lived there when it was an island taught him, and I guess Sitara, lots of their magic or secrets.” She shrugs. “There were rooms that I couldn’t get into, and some that they couldn’t get into.”
“Why didn’t you tell us that before?” Dagen is staring at her, the look on his face almost comical.
“Sorry, Dagen, in case you’ve forgotten, this is all new to me, and we have been super busy.”
Torryn, who has been silent until now, growls, but Lillian reaches back and grabs his hand.
“How about you change your tone?” Torryn threatens our brother.
“Can we just focus? I’m sorry I even brought it up, it was just a random thought. We need to focus on the woman.” I try to steer them back to the matter at hand. “Just before you showed up, I thought I heard something.”
They all turn to face out, their eyes scanning over the city.
“She could be watching us right now,” Charlie whispers with a grin on her face. “She would have seen us land.” She glances over at me, her brows raised.
“I’m positive she was watching the battle the other day, so she would have seen much more than wings.” They all look at me.
“Do you think she could be tracking your power?” Lillian’s eyes flick up to the sky. “It has been extremely visible.”
“I get it. I’ve been a little out of control.”
“A little.” Torryn barks out a laugh. The others soon follow, and I grin at them all. “Show a guy that he has almost unlimited power and he goes crazy, lighting up the sky for the world to see.”
I feel my cheeks heat.
“You certainly have stumped every meteorologist in the world. The Weather Channel has been running a special report for the last five or six days. Theories of global warming and a superstorm are the most agreed upon.” Charlie chuckles.
“Yuck it up, assholes, but depending on how she’s tracking me, she could be tracking you too.” I wait for that to sink in.
Torryn and Dagen look at each other, and I understand that look. The women they love could be in real danger. A danger that we don’t even understand yet. No one wants to think about it, but there is no guarantee that the descendants are all good. There is nothing to say that one couldn’t have already chosen the other side.
“We need to find her now.” Torryn’s eyes narrow on the dark sky.
Agreed but how is the question. Citlali couldn’t tell us what she looked like, nothing but that she wore a dark hoodie and always had a book with her.
So we are looking for a possible Mongolian woman with dark clothes and a love of reading. No problem. This should be a piece of cake. I move to the far side of the roof, and my brothers follow. We stand close together and quietly discuss how to find the woman.
We are so wrapped up in our plotting we miss the look of determination on Lillian and Charlie’s faces. They wave as they fall over the side of the building, wings snapping open and gliding away into the night.
“Goddamn it, Charlie,” Dagen bellows, but Torryn just shakes his head.
“She’s got an idea. Let them go. They can take care of themselves.” He stresses the can, reminding us that the women are in reality most likely more powerful than us, although it is a bitter pill to swallow.
“I don’t like it.” It’s kinda sweet how petulant Dagen sounds.
“We don’t have to. We asked them to join this war and now that they have, we can’t treat them like they can’t fight in it.”
Dagen paces away, staring out at the sky, trying to get a bead on his woman, but they have completely disappeared. My phone vibrates. I look at my brothers, who are focused completely on the city. Pulling the phone out, I glance at the screen quickly. A text from Lillian.
‘Celine is gone. We’re where we found Lali.’
I stumble over the fact that Celine is gone. What the fuck is going on? Shit, it’s because she’s in Hell, locked in the cell, and her powers are locked away with her. Now Celine will be looking for payback. She will be even more vicious in her attack.
My spine hurts just thinking about it. Shit. Fuck. This just gets worse and worse.
“I’m going to go look for her. Maybe you guys can see if you can find a name, a hotel reservation, anything.” Dagen’s eyes narrow in suspicion, but Torryn just nods.
“Come on, brother, let’s go. We can stop at a bar or two as we check the hotels.” He winks as he moves by me. The man knows his woman.
I could fly but instead I just jump from the rooftop and land in a crouch before straightening. I get a stupid pleasure from it. Reminds me of the vampires in Underworld, and I happen to love all the movies.
I’m just missing the long coat. The thought makes me chuckle as I start down the cobbled street. I head west along the canal before crossing over one of the many bridges. In no time, I’m at the house standing beside the iron fence. It’s empty, the yard and the house. There’s not a single sound coming from the property. I hear the same sound I heard on the rooftop and turn slowly. I see Charlie standing down the street, leaned against a wall. Lillian is bold, standing beneath a street lamp, her pale hair practically glowing.
Following their lead, I lean back resting against the fence. Waiting.
If she’s out here, we just sent her an invitation to join us. Nothing. No movement. No sounds.
My phone rings, and the sound is loud. Both women whip their head my way. I shrug as I answer it.
“I have a forwarded call for you, sir.” I don’t recognize the voice, but the number is Demon Bayou.
“Go ahead.”
“Where is the other woman?” I glance at the others. They both have straightened and are watching me closely.
“I sent her away to keep her safe. To keep everyone safe.” I tell her the truth. “Her powers are new to her. She needs to learn to control them so they don’t control her.”
“And the other men?” I look around again but still don’t see her.
“They are looking for you. My turn to ask a question. How did you find her and us?”
“I have been training my whole life for this.” The phone goes dead.
Her whole life. What the hell? Letting my hand fall away from my face, I look around and see movement racing away in the distance.
I jerk my head, and the women rise into the air.
“She’s ready for you. Be careful.”
Charlie is already focusing on the song. I can tell by the tilt of her head. Lillian manifests the sword and keeping it close to her side in the night sky.
They remind me of the Valkyries of legend.
I look up at the stars in the sky and whisper one last prayer.
“Do not take his hope from him. Even You’re not that vengeful.”
Chapter 31
CITLALI
The power is winning. I’m slowly disappearing. Death will soon be all that is left.
“Are you ready to fight?” His words come from the darkness again.
“It isn’t a fight I can win.”
“So you’re giving up? I didn’t think He would send Arkyn one so weak.” A light flares, and his face is illuminated and shadowed all at the same time.
His words make me angry, but beneath that anger is sadness. Am I weak? I had never thought of myself in that way. I was top of my class in school. I’m the best surgeon in my city, maybe the country. That is not weak.
“I’m not weak.”
“Then you don’t think Arkyn is worth the fight.” The corner of his lips pull down as he considers me.
“He is worth everything.” The words are growled out from between my clenched teeth. How dare he talk about Arkyn that way?
“What if I told you the power, your power
, isn’t a thing? It isn’t an it or him or her?” Now it is my turn to frown at his statement. “The power is you. Death is part of you. Just as much as the other side of the power, the life side.”
I feel my head shake. No. No. No.
“You’re wrong.” He must be.
“I’ve heard of doctors that think they are gods. Why do they think that?”
My head shakes again as I look down at my hands. I hear the speech from my first day of residency play over in my mind. The doctor spoke of how we hold the power of life and death in our hands. How we choose who lives and dies.
My heart pounds, and I feel my breath struggling in my lungs. The rational side of my brain tells me I’m free falling into a full blown panic attack. I look up at him standing there waiting.
“Help.” It comes out as a struggled whisper.
He doesn’t move. “I can’t help you, accept what you know is true.”
I feel his power as it slides over me and slips into my mind. He allows me to know he is there. I feel soothed, and my breathing slows. Sweat covers my body from my panic, and I shiver as I fall to my knees.
“Call for me when you are ready to learn to control the darker side of you, and I will hear you.” He disappears just as the tears begin to fill my eyes.
“I am a good person.” I whisper it over and over to myself as the tears begin to flow down my cheeks and turn the floor an even darker black.
I watch them drip and splash on the stone for what seems like hours. The five words repeat in my head long after my throat grows hoarse.
Memory after memory plays through my mind. First, it was the people I saved as I tried to convince myself he was and is wrong. At some point, though, the other memories began to escape from where I keep them locked.
The ones that no one knows about, not even Sitara. The men and women who didn’t deserve to live. The predators and killers. Traffickers and abusers. Those I judged and found guilty when no one else would. How many had come into my operating room and never left? Ten, twenty, or more?
They died so others could live and be safe.
