Robiye makes a strangled noise – whether fear or anger or disgust, I can’t tell – and scampers backward, down the path beside the parking lot and further out of reach. I make another lunge forward and he turns to make his escape, out of my field of reach, blessedly sparing himself from the beating I would give him if I had the time, space, and I could be sure there were no legal consequences.
But right now, time is the last thing I have. Because I have to stop my daughter from getting away before this anger she feels now drives a permanent wedge between us.
“Lexie,” I say. “Please, just let me explain. I want to talk about this. It’s not how you think, not really.”
“Oh?” she asks. “So, you didn’t sleep with my best friend without telling me about it?”
“No, actually,” I say, glancing back at Candy. “I didn’t. We were taking it a little slower than that.”
“So, you just made out and groped her in some seedy club?” Lexie snaps. “That’s so much better. I can rest easy now that I know.”
“There’s no need to be like that,” I admonish her quietly, falling back into parenting mode. It’s an automatic thing, not something I can think about logically, whether I should be addressing her attitude at a time like this or not.
“Isn’t there?” Lexie asks me. She gives me one long, hard look, and nothing else before the moment is gone and she breaks eye contact with a coldly furious turn of her shoulders. Then she’s gone in a flash, ducking into the car and slamming the door closed behind her.
“Lexie, no,” I say, hammering on the passenger side window. “Stop. Don’t just drive away – let me talk to you.”
But it’s no use. The car’s engine starts, and I have to jump away before she runs over my foot. I watch helplessly as my daughter drives away, out of my reach, leaving me staring at the back window of her car. I have no idea where she’s going, and with traffic rushing by outside of campus, she’ll be lost to me before I have the chance to get into my car.
“I’m sorry,” Candy says, wiping her face again. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her. “This is his fault. His plan. And it’s my fault, too. I shouldn’t have imagined that we could keep it secret, not for long. I’m sorry you had to get into a fight with Lexie.”
Candy nods sadly. When I step closer towards her, she takes a step away, leaving me lost for words.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she says.
“What isn’t?” I ask, shaking my head. I don’t want to hear it, not if it’s what I think she’s going to say. We’ve come through the worst part already. This can’t be it.
“Us,” she says, backing off another couple of steps. “Please, Finn. I’m sorry. I wanted it to work, too, but… we can’t do this. It’s better if we’re not together.”
“No,” I say. “No, it isn’t. Candy…”
“It’s better for now,” she says, which gives me at least a tiny bit of hope that ‘for now’ doesn’t mean forever – but before I can get a chance to clarify she turns and leaves until I’m standing there alone in the parking lot.
Two halves of my heart – and now both of them are gone.
I get in my car to drive home, beaten but not defeated. This isn’t the end – not for either of them. I’ll find a way to make this right.
I just have to figure out how.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Candy
I sit in my room, looking at the empty space where Alex usually sits at her desk to study. She’s not here, and I have a feeling that she won’t be coming back tonight, either. I don’t know where she will go. She can’t go home without seeing her Dad, can’t come back here without seeing me. I hope she finds somewhere safe, maybe with another friend.
And that leaves me alone. I knew I was risking both a relationship with Finn and my best friend when I agreed to date him yesterday – but I never imagined that it would happen so quickly. I could just carry on with Finn now, saying that the damage is done and it’s too late, so we might as well continue. But it doesn’t feel right. We hurt Alex, and she should be the most important person in Finn’s life.
I have to let them heal their relationship, instead of being selfish about it.
I lay on my bed and close my eyes, hugging a pillow against my chest. Even though I think I made the right decision, it hurts a lot. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to try and make this work, even if it meant keeping everything quiet for a few months. I thought we could do it.
He’s my dream man. I never even thought he would look at me, and when he did, I certainly didn’t think he would be serious about dating. When he was, it was a dream come true. But now that dream is completely shattered. There’s no way he will want to be with me, now knowing that the cost is not having contact with his daughter.
If he can even get that back in the first place, he’s not going to want to risk it again.
Everything is lost, and I’m the one who is going to be left on my own. I should be bitter, but it just hurts so much that’s all I can think about. I realize I’d been pinning a lot of my hopes on Finn, on the idea that I might have found the one.
But I was stupid to think that. Why would he want to have anything to do with me? It was never going to work, not really.
It was a beautiful dream, but now I’m awake.
The evening draws in, and I realize I spaced on the rest of the day. I haven’t left the room since it happened, and Alex still isn’t back. When it gets dark, I lose hope that she’ll be home tonight. Maybe she’ll calm down enough tomorrow… though I doubt it. I wouldn’t be surprised if she just gets a transfer and I end up with a new roommate instead.
I sigh to myself, hugging my pillow and thinking about the weekend I was looking forward to. I wish that this had at least happened after we’d come home from the trip Finn promised. I wanted to go there with him. I wanted to make love with him. Everything he promised me sounded so magical and wonderful, and now it’s all disappeared down the drain.
I think about everything this weekend could have been. The two of us, alone in a hotel room somewhere, cozy in a king sized bed with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Just getting to know each other, exploring, experiencing new things. I could have gone all the way with him without blinking. I was ready.
I picture it in my head, unable to stop myself. The hotel bed flung with silken sheets and rose petals, and us laying on top of it. Finn over me, his lips hot and insistent on mine as he kisses first my mouth and then my neck. His lips trail down over my chest, his hands stripping me of my dress where I lay, then up to grasp the straps of my bra and pull them over my breasts until they are free and bare. I moan and push my chest up towards him, into his caressing hands, so eager to receive them. I want his hands all over me. I want him to touch me over and over again.
I arch my back as Finn’s kisses trail lower, over my hips, and he hooks his fingers into the waistband of my panties to slowly drag them off just like he did the other day. I feel his hands on me there, stroking and rubbing in circles, beginning to drive me wild again. He reaches for his belt –
And I roll over in bed, my real bed, mortified for even letting it go that far. It’s not like I even know how to imagine the next part, but I shouldn’t be doing it anyway. I have to get Finn out of my mind. It’s not good for me to be dreaming of him like this when I know I can’t have him. I roll my burning cheeks into the pillow, trying to ignore the damp heat between my legs, trying to think of absolutely anything else.
I know it’s going to be hard, but I have to try. I have to put him out of my mind.
I just have to bear with the torture for a while until I manage to actually do it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Finn
I touch Candy’s breasts, feel them fill my hands, rolling my palms over them. Her nipples are nubs that stand up under my touch, begging me to trace circles around them, to flick them with my tongue. I bury my face in them, rea
ching down to grab hold of her panties, to strip the last piece of clothing away from her so that I can –
No. I need to stop. I can’t think of her like this right now. It’s the morning, and I have to get up and try to put things right, even if it feels like there might not be any way to do that right now.
I reach for my phone and check for messages, but there are none. I’ll take a cold shower to get my mind off Candy, and then I have to get on with the things I need to do.
I feel the cold water sluicing over my skin, waking me up and cooling down the feverish thoughts that have haunted me all night. I called Lexie again and again last night, but she never answered. Eventually, I only hit voicemail – I guess she turned her phone off so that I would stop calling. I left her message after message, letting her know that I love her and that I will always be her father. I need her to understand that this doesn’t change a thing. We’re a family, and we always will be, no matter what else happens around us. I just have to hope she comes around to see it the same way.
I dress for work and then sit on my bed, sighing. There’s no way I can focus on work today. It’s off the menu. I place a quick call first to my assistant at the gallery, letting her know that I need her to take over for the day. That done, I stare at my phone, sending out a silent prayer that this time she will actually answer.
And I dial her number.
To my surprise, she actually picks up after several rings, sending my heart into overdrive as I hear the sound of the call connecting. “Lexie?” I say immediately, so excited to hear her voice.
“Dad.” The word is flat, leaving me no idea of how she’s feeling – other than it doesn’t sound as though it can be good.
“I’m so glad you picked up,” I say. “I’ve been going out of my mind with worry all night.”
“I stayed with a friend last night,” Lexie says, all but cutting me off. I swallow down the rest of my worries. I guess she doesn’t want to hear it right now. “I’m fine. I have class to get to today.”
“Right.” I understand a hurry-up when I hear one. “Just give a moment, Lexie, alright? I…”
“I don’t want to,” Lexie cuts me off brusquely. It makes my heart stammer in my chest. I’ve never heard her like that before – anything less than polite and cheerful, like my daughter, always is. This is my fault. What have I done to her happy nature? “I’m running late as it is.”
“I get it,” I say, sighing. She doesn’t want me to talk to her – whether she really is late or not, I can hardly tell. She isn’t going to give me much of a chance here. But at least she picked up the call, which is something. “Lexie, I just want to sort this out. I want to get things back to normal, I know it won’t be easy and it won’t happen right away–”
“Dad, stop it,” Lexie says, her tone bristling again. “I can’t stand it. The thought of you with my best friend – it’s sickening. I can’t bear it. I don’t want to talk about this, ever again.”
A lump forms in my throat. Won’t she even listen? But I guess it’s too early. Still, that word – sickening. It’s a strong word. I never thought I would hear it from my own daughter. Then again, I guess I never expected to fall in love. Even though I hoped for it, it’s been so long that I had started to relegate it to the realm of fantasy only – something I barely even had time to think about anymore.
Maybe Lexie was the same. I’ve spent so long being just her Dad, she couldn’t see that I’m also a man, with the same needs and desires like any other. Spending my whole life alone would be cruel. If I can’t make her see that right away, I just have to keep trying.
“Alright,” I say, trying to give into her a little, to show her that I’m willing to meet her at least halfway. “I just want to explain it to you. So that you can understand – this wasn’t done to hurt you. And it wasn’t like I wasn’t thinking of you at all, either. I wanted to make sure that we did this in a way that wouldn’t hurt you. I got it wrong, I can see that.”
“Got it wrong?” Lexie scoffs. “Dad, you couldn’t have got it more wrong if you were actually trying to. I told you, I don’t want to talk about this. I mean it. Don’t bother calling me again if you’re just going to try to justify yourself.”
“Alright, wait, wait,” I say, desperately, trying to stop her from just putting the phone down on me. “I won’t. I promise. I… I’ll call you later tonight, alright? After you’re out of class. Just to… to catch up. Nothing else.”
“Fine.”
Lexie ends the call, but at least I’ve got her permission to call later – well, sort of. She didn’t object, anyway. And that’s a start.
For now, I have to let the matter drop. She’s obviously too angry to even talk about Candy, even in a roundabout way by discussing my decisions. It’s too soon. The wound is still too raw. I also have some work to do in trying to clean up my reputation, making sure that no lasting damage has been done by Robiye’s stupid little prank.
I’ll leave things how they are for now – with Lexie. My daughter needs time. But that doesn’t mean I have to leave everything just as it is right now.
There’s one more person who I still need to talk to – one more person who hasn’t been answering my calls.
I need to fix things with her, too – or all of this won’t even have been worth it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Candy
I sit down at the café with a heavy sigh, throwing my purse onto the chair beside me and rocking my head into my hands. With my elbows resting on the table, I can block out the rest of the world, try to pretend that everything is normal.
But it’s not normal. The photograph, and the surrounding scandal, were picked up by another local news outlet and another, and they even made it to the campus paper’s site as well. Which means that all day long, people have been recognizing me as they walk by, commenting about me behind their hands. Some people weren’t even that subtle. They laughed right in my face or proudly proclaimed to their friends that I was that girl from the paper.
Not that all of the attention has been bad. Yes, it’s horrible to have everyone staring at me, especially the ones who look at me with expressions of disgust or mockery. But there have been a few – a small few – who wanted to high five me or congratulate me on living my best life. Whether that was genuine or sarcastic, I had a hard time figuring out – but I decided to take it as genuine just for my own sanity.
Either way, I had to get out of there, at least for a while. I couldn’t bear to stand the scrutiny any longer, so after class was over, I headed out here. The café is only a short walk from the campus, but the important thing is that it’s off campus. And while there is a chance that I might see some students here, or that someone might actually recognize me from the local paper, it’s a lower chance. If they do, it’s even less likely that they will try to talk to me about it or laugh behind my back.
Which is why it’s so surprising when I hear the rattle of the chair opposite me moving back, and someone sitting down at the table with me, their hand lightly brushing the side of my arm to let me know that they are there.
I look up with a start, wondering who the hell has seen fit to bother me when I’m just trying to enjoy a coffee on my own. But it’s not a stranger or even a fellow student at all. Its Finn.
Its Finn.
I feel the heat rising up into my cheeks at the sight of him, my heart pounding in my chest. He’s the last person I expected to see, and even though I know I’m supposed to be trying to avoid him, I instantly feel so much better to know that he’s here with me. It’s like the day’s troubles melt away – even though he’s the cause of them, and it should only make me feel worse to be seen out in public with him again.
“Finn,” I blurt out. “What are you doing here?”
He winces, and I realize that I probably could have said that in a nicer way. But it’s my shock talking – and really, I shouldn’t be trying to be nice to him. I should be trying to put him off so that he can repair his relationship w
ith his daughter. The relationship that really matters in all of this.
Even if it makes me feel sick to my stomach to attempt to convince myself that what we were starting to have between us doesn’t matter.
“I followed you,” he says. “Not in a creepy way. Well, not totally.”
“I’m going to need an explanation on that ‘not totally’,” I tell him, unconvinced.
“I was waiting for a chance to see you, off campus,” Finn says. “You haven’t been answering my calls, so I couldn’t ask you to come and see me.”
“I thought that was for the best,” I say, avoiding his eyes and looking down into my coffee cup.
“I really wanted to talk to you,” he says and pauses before continuing. “I knew what time your class was finishing – you’re in the same major as Lexie, so it wasn’t hard to figure out. I parked across the street and watched the front of the college campus, just waiting to see if you would walk by.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I tell him raising an eyebrow. “How could you even know that I was going to walk by that way?”
“I didn’t,” Finn admits. “I just had to take a chance. The only other way I could get to you would be by walking onto campus and going to your dorm, and after yesterday…”
“You didn’t want an audience?” I ask, feeling a little bitter at the thought.
“I didn’t want Lexie to see us together again,” Finn corrects me. “I thought there was a chance she might go back to your room, at least to collect something. I didn’t want to run into her at exactly that moment and make her angry all over again. I figured if there’s anything I’ve learned from sitcoms, it’s that she would absolutely turn up at the same time, and I couldn’t risk it.”
“You watch sitcoms?” I ask, with a half-smile. It just doesn’t sound like him.
My Roommate's Dad: An Instalove Possessive Age Gap Romance Page 8
