by Sofia Aves
“That was fast. Big day?” It was so wrong to be talking about things as mundane as work when there was the most dangerous man in the world stalking us. I flitted back to the messages on my phone, the floor dropping out from beneath me. I clung to the sink, but fortunately, Cal didn’t seem to notice. He shrugged my comment off, sorting through the dishwasher as though nothing was amiss.
Ashley sprawled on the floor, her head nodding. We’d had dinner, played, read…it all seemed so normal when outside these walls, for us, the world was anything but.
“What are we going to do?”
The words slipped out, and I wished I could take them back.
“How about we talk about that after she’s in bed?” His tone was light as he nodded towards Ashley.
“I think she might be ready to go now. Do you mind if I read to her?”
He shook his head. I gently pressed on his shoulder, and with a sigh, he allowed me to minister to his back. The ice packs had almost refrozen during dinner.
“Just want my shirt off again,” he grumbled, his movements much slower than before as he removed the garment. My mouth was open to retort when I caught the speculative look he sent my way.
Ignoring him, I moved the ice packs around on his back, trying to cover areas that hadn’t been treated yet. It was like a crazy game of Tetris.
“I’ve reset the microwave. Don’t move too much, or it will all come sliding down.”
I re-balanced the packs with a pat. Cal’s hand shot out, closing light around my wrist. It was just enough to stop me. Goosebumps pebbled my arm.
“Thank you, Mila.”
I nodded, unable to summon a smile, and went to put Ashley to bed.
I knew she was a little old for it, but she still enjoyed being read to. We’d gone most of the way through the unicorn quest when her eyes fluttered closed. I stayed a few minutes longer, then crept out of the room, flicking the light off.
Cal was still leaning on the bench, texting on his phone. I knew he had moved to get it, and couldn’t help fussing. Water beaded on his back. I wiped it away, and swapped the carrots in their saturated cloth for a bag of frozen peas instead, wrapping them in a dry towel.
When he turned his head, the dark look in his eyes unnerved me. My anger from before had dissipated, leaving only room for a bone-deep dose of exhaustion. I tried my hardest to drag it back up, but beneath his hard gaze, my courage failed.
“I don’t want to fight with you,” I said quietly. “Not after everything that has happened today.”
Cal’s phone hit the bench with a light smack. Apparently, his anger was right at the surface. I shook my head, moving away. All I wanted to do was sleep, and forget today had happened. Even though that wasn’t entirely possible, I was happy to keep pretending.
Cal’s arms caged me against the bench so quickly I hadn’t realised he had moved. I pressed a listless hand to his chest, but as usual, it made absolutely no difference.
“Can we do this tomorrow? Cal…I’m so tired.”
His fingers caught beneath my chin, raising my face to his. I couldn’t be bothered to resist him. His eyes bore into mine, a burning intensity, directed at me. It came as a surprise, but I wasn’t afraid, not like I had been back at the house. This time, I knew who he was.
“I will never use you as bait,” he spat the last word, his fingers firm on my chin.
He rose to his full height, towering over me. Ice packs slapped the tiles as he released me, but didn’t step back, out of my space. Half-naked, he was a sight — ridges of muscle covering his stomach, travelling down to the vee of his hips. I swallowed, refocusing on his face.
“I would never hurt you. Or her — though believe me, I’ve had plenty of good cops,” he snorted, “tell me I should use her to drive him mad. But I won’t stoop that fucking low. I’m not him.”
Something hard lay in his face. Cords of sinew tightened at his neck, his chest broad and sculpted. I raised one hand to touch him, to trace the lines that made him so fine, then slapped it back to the counter. His gaze heated, igniting something deep inside me.
“Keep looking, Mila.” His voice was rough, deep. His breath hit my lips, and I had to repress the urge to react. My eyes closed for a second, and with effort, I snapped them open.
“No! You don’t get to do this to me, again and again. Cal, please. I was terrified this afternoon. I wanted nothing more than you home so I could feel safe.” His fingers grazed my cheek, and I closed my eyes again, willing myself not to cry, the weight of the day draining my sudden burst of energy.
“I won’t let him hurt you. I promise, Mila. There’s nothing here I can’t control. You are safe,” he punctuated each word. I opened my eyes, looking straight into him. His voice dropped to a whisper, “You are safe with me.”
I so desperately wanted to believe that.
“Cal,” I whispered, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it, “You can’t control him. That’s always been it, isn’t it? He wins because he isn’t predictable. Please, if you’re wrong…don’t let us be your mistake.”
His thumb brushed my lips.
“Damnit, Mila.” He was far too close. “You– you're right.” He stepped back, breaking the contact. He ran a hand over his head. “I have four cops downstairs, one in the foyer up here.” He nodded to the door. “There are three cars patrolling, and Black will do the night shift for the next few days. It leaves us one man shy, but he wanted to make sure you’re safe. He’s happy to sleep here during the day, if you want, though I was thinking of working from home, as well.”
I shook my head.
“No.”
He peered at me cautiously.
“No…what?”
“No. Don’t stay here, cooped up. Do your job. We’re just…distractions.” The corner of his mouth curled upwards. My heart lightening, I swatted his arm. “Not that sort.”
He stepped back into me, hands sliding from my waist to my ribs, his thumbs brushing beneath my breasts. “You know you are.” He kneed my legs apart, stepping between them. I let my fingers run the length of his arm.
“We shouldn’t,” I murmured.
“Mila.” His fingers curled into my hair, tracing patterns on my shoulder. “Stop telling me what I shouldn’t do. I like your type of distraction.”
He caught the back of my neck, tilting my head up. I stared into those eyes and wanted very much what he was offering. Desperation warred with exhaustion. His breath hot on my lips, he dragged his other hand down my ribs. I wanted this, but it still felt like a bribe. And I wasn’t sure I trusted him to not play us over his need to catch Logan.
Eyes wide, I slammed my hands to his chest, pushing him back as I slipped away from the bench.
“We stop this now. I can’t trust that you won’t use us to get what you want — what you’ve been fighting for. I can’t trust you,” I whispered, tears pricking my eyes.
His face shut down in an instant, wiped clean of all emotion. Cal surveyed me with cold eyes, and I shivered. If this was the man that hunted Wayde Logan, I’d hate to be between them when it all came crashing down.
“I’ll be in the study. Knock, if you want me.” His voice was distant, but his gaze sharp, and the double entendre wasn’t lost on me. I watched him stride away, wondering if I hadn’t made a huge mistake.
With him only a room away, I was more alone than ever.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
MILA
I stayed up for a few hours, not remotely tired, but sickened to my core. Fear of Logan for Ashley and I, paired with the worry I’d destroyed everything Cal and I had built up, haunted me. On the floor, my phone buzzed, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick it up. I knew there would be more messages, and I couldn’t face them right now.
I closed my eyes, leaning my head on the back of the sofa. I didn’t want to go into Cal’s room, sleep in his bed. It would just remind me of what I’d turned down, because of fear.
He fucks with your mind.
Cal’s wor
ds turned over and over, echoing inside my head. I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to repress the tears that threatened. Eventually, with all the lights still on, I managed to fall asleep.
His eyes were cold, staring into my soul. Tiny cries tore the air around us, alone in a dark place. This isn’t real; he’s not here. I knew it was a dream — which was unusual, as I rarely remembered mine at all. And I never knew when I was in one, usually. But the knowledge he had wasn't here, helped. Even so, I was stuck — staring at those eyes, my whole body spasming in fear. Hands on my arms tightened. Is this what it would feel like when he found me? Fear overcoming every sense, wanting to vomit, but frozen, unable to move, to escape.
Itsadream, itsadream, itsadream.
The hands squeezed, shaking a little. I looked down, breathing cold, morning air. Hands were still wrapped around my arms, and my mind jammed.
He’s here, he’s here, he’s here.
A scream built inside me; beginning to tear free when a hand clamped down over my mouth, pinning me to the lounge. I launched out in flail of arms and legs, desperate to get up, to get free. Dimly, I heard a groan as my hand connected with something solid.
I focussed on Cal’s worried face as he leaned over me, holding my wrists gently in one hand.
“Mila, honey, it’s me. It’s not– it’s just me.” His voice was barely a whisper, and I looked around in the pale light of the early morning. Tugging my wrists from his grasp, I concentrated on Cal. He let go, still hovering over me.
“You were dreaming.” I snorted. Thanks for stating the obvious. “Nightmare?”
I nodded, wiping tears from my cheeks. Last night’s or this morning’s? I couldn’t be sure.
“Logan?”
I nodded again, sitting up. Cal backed away, still watching me. A blanket covered the floor beneath the lounge.
“Did you sleep on the floor? You should have had the bed. Your bed.” My voice was raspy and dry. Cal passed me his water bottle.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone. In case…” He didn’t finish the sentence. I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Honey, are you okay?”
I shook my head wordlessly, tiny shivers beginning in my hands, soon wracking my entire body. Cal slid his arms beneath my legs, sitting with me curled in his lap. He pressed my head to his shoulder and held on, even when the tears started anew.
“I’m sorry, Mila. Last night was just…we didn’t end that well. I’m sorry, honey.”
Eventually, the tremors stopped. My cheeks were damp, and I looked at the mess I’d made of his shirt, mortified I’d completely lost it in front of him. I wriggled and tried to get up.
“I’m so, so sorry.” This morning seemed to be all about apologies. I pushed against him, but he refused to let me go.
“Cal, we shouldn’t be–”
“I don’t give a fuck what we should and shouldn’t be doing right now. You’re not going anywhere.” He swung his long legs across the sofa, bringing me with him. Our legs tangled together, one hand firmly pressed on my lower back. The other he reached between us, shucking his shirt off over his head, wincing only a little, and pulled me back down to him.
In the pre-dawn, the light was soft. I was reminded of him outside my house, keeping watch while I slept. I rested my head on his chest, the scent and warmth of him surrounding me.
It seemed perfectly normal to be pressed against a half-naked man, even though I knew it shouldn’t. Should it? I closed my eyes, listening to his heart beat its strong, steady rhythm.
We lay quietly for a long while, my eyes heavy, and I began to yawn, ready to doze off, comfortable and warm as I was. Safe. It was one of the first things I’d said to Cal; that he made me feel safe. I trawled through everything in my head and found it was still true. Maybe we would be okay together, after all.
“Thank you. For sleeping near me. Thank you for keeping us safe.”
Light brightened as the sun broke above the horizon, setting the room aglow, even through the drawn blinds. His skin was more golden than ever; like he was made by the sun. He regarded me steadily, one hand splayed between my shoulders, making tiny circles there with his fingers.
Cal was silent for so long the nerves began to jump in my stomach again. I wiggled, wanting to sit up but he stayed me with one hand flat on my lower back, holding me against him.
“Don’t do that,” he hissed between clenched teeth, “unless you want to find yourself in my bed damned fast.”
I caught my lip between my teeth, wondering. My fingers trailed the rigid muscles of his abs, up along his rib cage. He was perfectly still beneath me, barely breathing. I stretched long against him. He wasn’t going to hurt me — this man was a protector. And he wanted to protect me.
I was okay with that.
My palm pressed over his heart. I counted the beats, still not looking at him, afraid I’d set something off that would change this moment. His breathing deepened, hands sliding beneath my jumper along my bare skin beneath.
My breath caught, I slowly raised my gaze to meet his.
CAL
I saw she’d accepted me the moment she raised her head, lips red and swollen where she’d been biting them. My hands explored her skin beneath her black sweater. I wanted to rip it off her, press her bare skin against mine. I needed to claim this woman, but I also knew she needed me to take it slow – though the other night had been anything but. Still, if I rushed her, Mila would run – from me, from the safety of the apartment.
And I needed to be at work in an hour.
My hands almost encompassed her entire back; she was so tiny. I drew her up my chest, so her mouth was level with mine. Her breath puffed gently against my lips. I didn’t lean into her to kiss her, though I wanted badly to roll her onto her back, open the blinds so I could explore every damned inch of her skin, every curve.
This needed to be her choice. My restraint taughtened — if she kept staring at me for much longer with those half-lidded eyes, blush staining her cheeks as she stared at my mouth, I wouldn’t be taking anything slow.
Mercifully, she leaned in, pressing her lips to mine. I closed my eyes, lost in the smell of her, the softness of her skin beneath my hands. Her tongue flicked against my lips, and I groaned, pulling her flush against me. I let her open my mouth with hers, let her have the control, moving to her rhythm.
She wiggled her hips, palms planted on my arms as she stretched the length of me. It took everything I had not to make good on my promise. I slid my hand down her back, curling my fingers around her ass.
A mewling sound started in her throat, making me so hard it was painful. The material of her pants was thin, and I could feel the heat of her through it.
“Mila,” I growled as she moved again, squeezing her ass — it fit so perfectly in my hand. “Honey, just be still for a moment.”
Her eyes widened in understanding as she took in my deep breaths, the rapid pace of my heart beneath her hand. I slipped my other hand between her shoulder blades, pressing her down to me. Her mouth found mine again, and I kissed her slowly, every inch of me reaching to control my need to flip her, and fuck her senseless.
Tiny footsteps padded into the lounge, and a high voice greeted us.
“Cal, look what I found! It’s an old–” Ashley’s voice cut off. Mila jumped off me, smoothing her clothes. Ashley eyed us with wisdom beyond her years, a mass of dirty blonde hair standing out around her head, like a halo. I grabbed my shirt, pulling it back over my head.
“Are you two together? ’Cause that would be fun. Then I wouldn’t have to move again, right? I could live here. With you.” She hopped onto the sofa between us as we inched away from each other, making room. “Just like having a real mum and dad in my two favourite people. Can we have the TV on, please, Cal?”
Mila looked at me over her head; both of us completely speechless. I slipped my arm across the back of the sofa, encompassing both of my girls, and squeezed Mila’s shoulder. She foun
d my hand with hers, lacing our fingers together.
Only last night I’d wondered if she’d ever let me hold her again. I fumbled for the remote with my other hand, cheery morning cartoons filling the room.
Mila leaned her head back on my arm, hair mussed, colour still staining her cheeks. She looked gorgeous as all hell.
I tipped my head up, closing my eyes so no one would see the tears welling there.
We stayed that way — the three of us perched on the lounge together — until my phone rang, jarring us out of our comfort zone. I picked it up, sliding out from under my girls to take the call.
“Boss, we’ve got to move the girl.” Black’s voice held an edge of exhaustion.
“What? Why?”
“Liam called. He’s got a house sorted; we’re to come and pick her up. She’ll be with a family counsellor and her old foster mother. It’s a safe house, off the grid. Micah will do a twenty-four-hour rotation with me. Hole up there for a bit, work from this new place.”
“That’s mad! What the hell is Liam thinking? She’s bloody safe here.”
“I know, man, but the legalities of her living with you, if something happened…you’d lose your job. Not worth the risk.”
“But worth the risk of moving her? I don’t like this.”
“I’ll be there in ten with these two dickheads. We’ll leave someone to guard Mila, take the trucks and head off in three different directions. That’s the plan, as far as I know.”
“Black. Why the hell didn’t Liam call me directly?”
“Dunno, man. Be there soon.”
I hung up, turning to the girls. Mila was right behind me, frowning.
“What’s going on?”
I sighed, running a hand over my head.
“Liam’s moving Ashley.” Mila’s mouth opened in protest, her beautiful eyes widening. I shushed her quickly. “We don’t have a lot of time. There’s a secure house with her old foster mother and a counsellor. It’s off the grid. We need to pack her and move her, right now. No arguments, okay?”
