“Well, I’ll soon take care of that.” I assured him.
“Listen here now. I know what your kind of fun is about. So does half the female population of London, but if you think I’m gonna let you fool around with my little sister that way, you’ve got another thing comin’. You treat her with anything other than respect, and I will beat seven shades of shite out of you,” he warned me.
“I talked about marryin’ her and this is where your mind goes. You’re her older brother, so I’ll let that one slide. But you keep bringing my past up in my face and you and I are gonna have a problem. You’re no feckin’ choir boy mind. You think any girlfriend of yours would be happy to hear chapter and verse on all your hook-ups? Well Evelyn won’t either. You’ll hurt her without meanin’ to. So let this go, and we’ll move on. If your sister doesn’t want to date me, then that’s her choice, but I don’t want you sabotaging things between us. I’ll promise to treat her with nothin’ but respect, and you keep your nose out of our business. Deal?” I offered, holding out my hand.
He stared at me like he was considering rejecting my offer and scrappin’ it out, but we both knew how that would go. I might not be a professional fighter, but I’d been training with one my whole life, and Joe had seen me in action. One punch and he’d be eating his own teeth. After I knocked em’ out.
“Deal,” he agreed, spitting on his hand, and shaking it with mine.
“This should be fun Riordon. My sister has a temper to match her hair when it comes to you. She’s gonna have you on your knees, believe me.”
“Ah Joe, I’m countin’ on it,” I replied
Chapter Five
EVELYN
I woke up groggy and disorientated, my older brother in the chair next to me and a nurse on the other side of the bed. My throat was on fire and I don’t think I’d ever felt as terrible, or as sorry for myself, as I did right then. Pushing the mask off my face so she could hear me, I looked towards the nurse.
“May I have some water please?” I asked.
“Of course you can love. I’ll be back in a minute, but keep your mask on,” she replied, and sliding my mask back in to place, she left.
“Hey, little sis. You gave me a scare for a moment there,” Joe said.
“Hey,” I replied, croakily.
“Is Tommy gone?” I asked, unable to help feeling disappointed that he’d left.
“I wish,” he replied. “I finally persuaded the fecker to go clean up and get a drink of water. He didn’t want to leave you, but he was looking pretty rough.”
I smiled, both in the knowledge that he was still hanging around and at Joe’s reaction. I didn’t want to like Tommy, believe me I didn’t. He was the first guy I ever remember crushing on, and he’d hurt me so bitterly, I convinced hate to harden my heart. But it wasn’t hate. It was hurt. Hurt for the loss of a dream I imagined for us both. A foolish, naïve dream that made me feel embarrassed for ever having had it. I had no place in Tommy Riordon’s world and never would. I was still furious with him for the time he spent feeding and nurturing my disillusionment. But beneath the anger was still the same attraction that drew me to him in the first place. I’d never met someone as effervescent and full of life. It made me feel more alive, just to be around him.
“So, did you two get into it?” I asked, dreading to think want had happened between them when I was sleeping.
“Kinda,” he admitted. “But then we had a heart to heart and sort of cleared the air. It was kind of hard to stay mad at him, when he’s the one who pulled you out of the fire and saved your life.”
“He did? Is he okay?” I asked. Tommy had told me I’d been rescued by his watch, but I didn’t know that he’d been the one to do it.
“He’s fine. Full of piss and bloody wind as usual. Stupid fecker’s got it in his head that he’s gonna date you,” he replied, and my stomach did a little flip. “I’ve warned him that I’ll break his legs if he hurts you mind.”
“You gave your permission?” I asked, stunned. There is no way I ever thought Joe would be happy with me dating anyone like Tommy.
“He ain’t such a bad guy. You could do worse. He’s a man slut, for sure, but who’s to say that wouldn’t change for the right woman? Of course, I don’t think you should make it easy on him. There’s no one a man appreciates more, than the woman he worked hard to get, and works hard to keep,” he replied.
“We wouldn’t work Joe. I know we wouldn’t. We’d end up killing each other. He drives me crazy, and he’s slept with more women than I’ve had hot meals. How can two people as different as we are ever work?” I asked. He stared at me intently, before a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth.
“I’ll be honest I wasn’t crazy about the idea of the two of you together. Ev, you’re so serious all the time and you take care of everyone, but you’re not really living. You’re sleep walking your way through life. And maybe Tommy is a stepping stone rather than your forever guy, but he wakes you up. He makes you mad, and angry and sad and hurt, but most of all he makes you feel. Besides, he seemed pretty sincere when I spoke to him,” he explained.
“Even if I did give him a chance, Mam would kick me out of the house before she’d ever give me permission to go out with him,” I said.
“Ev, you’re twenty-two. You don’t need anyone’s permission to date, least of all Mam’s,” Joe replied, scoffing.
“You don’t understand what it’s like, and she’s been different since she got sick. I know she’ll kill me for telling you, but with me stuck in hospital, she’s going to need you to help her.”
“What are you talkin’ about Ev?” he asked, his face a mask of confusion.
“About six months ago I wanted to move out. But Mam’s been diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a day surgery to have the lump removed, and she’s having radiotherapy sessions in the afternoons to kill off any of the remaining cancer cells. She was desperate for me not to tell you, because she didn’t want you worrying. But I don’t know when I’ll be home, and she needs help with the cooking and the cleaning. And with the library gone, I don’t know if I’ll get paid, or how she’ll cope without my wages. All she has is the money she makes working at the bingo hall every day,” I said, getting more and more anxious. A coughing fit cut off my rambling, and Joe rubbed my back in gentle strokes as I leaned forward, trying to get my breath back.
When I was calm once again, the nurse came in and passed my brother a glass of water and a straw.
“Let her have small sips, and very slowly. Her airway is very swollen so she needs to be careful. When she’s finished drinking, her mask has to go back on,” the nurse warned, before leaving us once again. I did as she’d instructed, and could’ve cried with relief when the cool, thirst quenching liquid hit my throat. I’d drunk half a glass when I pushed against Joe’s hand, indicating that I’d had enough. He helped me settle back down and put my mask back on.
“Thanks Joe,” I said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. He squeezed back, but said nothing as he looked down at me, his brow furrowed.
“Ev, how much of your monthly wages have you been giving to Mam?” he asked, gently.
“Almost all of it,” I replied, absently as I struggled to stay awake. “I keep a hundred a month for bus fares and such. I take care of the food shopping and the rest goes to Mam for housekeeping.”
“All of it?” he asked, sounding surprised. I nodded, or at least I think I did. My eyes fluttered closed again, and I struggled to re-open them.
“It’s okay Ev. You get some rest. I’ll take care of Ma and Da when they get here,” he said, and just as he instructed, I drifted back to sleep.
When I woke again, there was arguing all around me. Recognising Ma’s voice, I kept my eyes closed.
“What exactly are you trying to accuse me of Joseph?” Ma asked, angrily.
“I’m not accusing you of anythin’ at all Ma. I’m simply askin’ why you’ve been taking so much money in housekeeping from Ev? The whole reason for m
e giving you money is so that she can save for her own place,” Joe replied, calmly.
“I’ve no idea what your sister has been saying, but this kind of interrogation is completely uncalled for. And why you think the hospital is the best place to have this conversation is beyond me. Besides, I can’t see what business it is of yours. Mine and your father’s financial affairs are nobody’s business but our own, and I’d thank you to keep out of it,” she admonished.
“I’d be glad to Ma, and since you no longer want my interference, you won’t miss me money either, will ya?” he asked.
“You’re being unreasonable Joseph. You have no idea how difficult it is, running a household and keeping a family. Putting food on the table, paying the tax and utilities. It all adds up you know!” she argued.
“Unreasonable Ma? Don’t forget I used to bank Da’s cheque and collect your housekeepin’ every week. I know exactly how much he gives you. His comp money paid off the mortgage with a tidy lump sum left over, and his housekeepin’ more than pays for the bills. My money was supposed to give you a bit extra to cover anything Evelyn needed so she could save her pennies. Only now I find out you’ve been spinnin’ Ev a line about working in the Bingo Hall, when we both know you’re there every day spendin’ her money,” Joe replied, his voice rising as he lost his temper.
“I can’t believe you’d think so badly of me. I’ve worked hard all my life to raise good, Christian, God-fearing children and to keep this family, and this is the thanks I get. You jump to all these conclusions on your sister’s word and you have no idea what I’m goin’ through at the moment,” Ma responded, a little more sheepishly.
I forced myself to lay still and keep my breathing even, when all I wanted to do was cry. Joe insisted I go to University to get my degree in English Literature, even though I had to live at home to do it, and I was lucky enough to land a librarian’s post straight after graduation. For the two years since then, I’d given almost all my wages to Ma, and it’d all been gambled away.
“Yes, I know all about the breast cancer Ma. Ev told me that too,” Joe, replied. I could still hear the anger in his voice, but he’d lowered it dangerously. “I can’t believe you spun her the same tale as the one you told me when I tried to move out. To lie about something like that, not once, but twice! To your children! I knew straight away it was bollocks and called you on it, but we both know that Ev would’ve been worrying herself sick about you. Emotionally blackmailing her like that is fuckin’ disgustin’. How long d’you think she’s been putting her life on hold, worrying over somethin’ that ain’t true?”
“You’ve no idea what it’s like Joe. Your father checked out years ago. Spends more of his life in the bar than he does with me. My children and the church are all I have left. I barely see you now that you’re gone. I just couldn’t bear giving up your sister as well. I know what I’ve done is wrong, but I was terrified of losin’ her, same way I lost you,” she protested, sobbing uncontrollably. Playing at being asleep wasn’t so hard when you felt numb. It was as though I were a stone. Cold, still and unfeeling. It was too much. On top of everything I’d already been through that night, it was all too much.
“Those crocodile tears don’t work on me, Ma. I’ve seen it all before. Tell me, what do you think Father Pat and the congregation would think if they found out what you’d done?” he said.
“You wouldn’t!” she exclaimed. Miraculously, the sobbing stopped as she inhaled sharply.
“No. I won’t be telling them,” he replied, and she let out a sigh of relief. “Because after tonight, the church really is all you have left. Tomorrow, I’ll be round for Evelyn’s things, and there better not be anything missing. There’ll be no more money from me, or Ev. From now on you manage on your savings, pension and housekeeping. You see Ev in church, the street or anywhere else, you be kind and civil. If you can’t be that, then be quiet. She’s soft as shite so I’ve no doubt that at some point she’ll forgive you. If she does, it’ll be more than you deserve, but I find out that you’ve used or manipulated her one more time, and there’s not a soul at St Paul’s that won’t know what you did by the end of Sunday’s service.”
“Whether you believe it or not, I am sorry. I know I haven’t gone about things in the best way, but you have to acknowledge that I’ve been a good mother. Both of you’ve kept faith with God, and you’ve never been in any trouble which is more than could be said of most families. In time, I hope you’ll see that what I’ve done, I’ve done with the best of intentions,” Ma responded, contritely. It was a tone I’d never heard in her voice before, but I had no idea whether it was genuine. She’d gone from angry to tearful and finally repentant in under a minute. I wondered if I ever really knew her at all.
“Do you know what? I think you really and truly believe that,” Joe said. “When every decision you make is based on what’s best for you and not for your children, when everything you do is more about control than their happiness, you know you’re failing at motherhood.”
“It’s so easy to sit there and criticise when you’ve never been a parent. Never had to sacrifice anything. Never lost any freedom you ever had because two people were completely dependent on you. Only God has the right to judge me,” she replied.
“Ma, you talk like having kids was always a burden, instead of a gift. Look, I think it’s best you go now before Ev wakes up. She’s endured enough today,” he said, wearily. No matter how hard he argued, you’ll never make someone hear that doesn’t want to listen. The only thing we could do is walk away, and hope that with time, she felt as awful about everything as I did.
“I think that’s probably best. I believe Evelyn should be in her own home when she’s discharged from hospital but we can talk more about that tomorrow when you come over. Goodbye Joseph,” she said, the click of her heels against the tiled floor echoing as she walked away.
“It’s okay, she’s gone,” Joe said. Immediately, my eyes flew open and landed on the face of my tired looking sibling.
“Joe, how could she do that?” I asked, croakily. I pulling my mask off, as my eyes welled up with unshed tears. He opened his arms, and I sat up and threw myself into them, my face pressed into his clean shirt as I let the tears flow.
“I have no idea Ev. I went through the same thing you’re feeling when she pulled the cancer card with me. I honestly thought after the roasting I gave her that things would be different for you. If I had any idea that she was up to her old tricks, I never would’ve let you stay there,” he said.
“What am I going to do now?” I asked him. “Until the library’s been re-built I don’t know if I’ll get paid and I don’t have any savings. I don’t think there’s much else I can do except stay with Ma until I get back on my feet.”
“Listen Ev. You’re a grown woman so you can make your own decisions, but if you want my opinion, I don’t think you should go back. The only way Ma’s going to realise that she’s wrong is if she can’t use us as a crutch any more. I know it’s not in your nature to be selfish, but you need to start thinkin’ about yourself and what you want for your future. Until you get back on your feet, you’re welcome to come and stay with me,” he offered.
“I couldn’t put you out like that Joe. You’ve only a one bedroomed flat. I’d be constantly under your feet,” I argued.
“You’re so quiet, I doubt I’d know you were there half the time. And it won’t kill me to sleep on the sofa bed for a while. At least stay long enough until you get yourself sorted and we know what the situation is with your job. After that, the world is your oyster. If you want to venture out on your own, we can look for a house share with other girls your age that suits you, and if you ain’t ready to leave, maybe we can look for a bigger place together when my lease is up. The important thing is that you don’t need to make any life-altering decisions now. What you do need to be doing, is resting some place you feel safe,” he said. It felt like an enormous weight off my shoulders, the idea of doing just that.
“I
f you’re sure I won’t be a nuisance, I’d love to. But I promise not to be sponging off you. As soon as I’m back on my feet, I’ll make sure I pay my way,” I assured him.
“Whatever you say, kid,” he said, and ruffled my hair like he used to when I was a child.
He chatted companionably, talking about how he’d get my stuff from Ma’s house and how things were going for him at work and the gym. I mostly remained silent as I listened, my throat seriously sore from all the talking I’d done. Da hadn’t made an appearance at the hospital, and I couldn’t say I was surprised. I don’t think he’d spoken more than a handful of words to myself or Joe in months. Perhaps it wasn’t the most Christian of thoughts, but I was relieved to be away from them both. Eventually, a nurse came to talk to Joe about my treatment, and I was left alone. Despite being exhausted, my thoughts were racing. As upset as I was over Ma’s revelations, I felt liberated. In a way, the fire that almost killed me, had set me free.
Chapter Six
TOMMY
“Hi, could I order three dozen yellow roses please?” I said to the florist on the other end of the line. Rattling off Joe’s address and my credit card details, I waited patiently for my purchase to go through.
“What message would you like?” the florist asked. I paused, while I tried to think of the right words. Never in my life had I sent a woman flowers. I figured the gesture would be enough, but I didn’t want to fuck it up by writing the wrong fuckin’ thing on the bleedin’ card.
“I’ve got it,” I said, finally. “To the most beautiful Irish girl I know…Violets are blue, roses are thorny, please be my girlfriend, cause I am horny.” A chorus of laughter rang out behind me, and I turned to see that all the boys on the watch had been listening in to me conversation. Giving the lot of ’em the middle finger, I turned my attention back to the florist.
The Fire (Hurricane Book 4) Page 5
