by K. C. RILEY
I shrugged again. It was all way over my head, and yet some of it was starting to make sense.
“We don’t really know. We just know it’s out there, and if we tune in to a specific station, we get to hear what we want to hear. And if it’s something you don’t like, you change the station.”
I was captivated and full of more questions. “But what about heaven or hell? Where are they?”
“Hmmm. I think all I would say is that the people I channel are in a place where they’re happy, a place where they’re at peace and a part of this bright white light. That happiness is what I would call heaven. But there are some souls I encounter—every once in a while—that are just plain ole lost or stuck. They’re in between here and the light. Sometimes I help them cross over to the happiness, but I can’t say I’ve ever encountered any souls from hell. Not sure I would want to. Mostly for my readings, I work with souls from the light. Ones that have healthy messages for their loved ones suffering on this side.”
“I think I get it. Kind of.”
“You know it’s okay if you want to ask me.” Kai peered deeper into my soul.
“Ask you what?” I said, trying to avoid his gaze.
“About your mom.”
I curled my fingers tight.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” he said.
“No. It’s okay.” I was caught somewhere between wanting to curl up into a ball under the table and wanting to know more about the reading. “I still don’t know what to make of the whole thing. I mean, you said her spirit was lost. Trapped.”
“Yeah. It’s hard to explain. You know how I mentioned the internet and the radio? The message from your mom didn’t feel like it was coming from the other side.” Kai motioned his hands. “It felt like it was coming from somewhere here, this physical plain. She hasn’t crossed over yet. It’s like she can’t rest until you figure out the message she sent you. It sounds crazy, I know, but sometimes stuff like this happens. A spirit can’t move on because of unfinished business.”
So my mom was stuck because of me? “Do you feel her here now?”
“No, I’m sorry. She’s not coming through anymore.”
The more we talked about her, the more my appetite dwindled. Kai must have noticed and soon turned the conversation around. Before I knew it, we were talking about old classic Hollywood black and white movies and our plans for the future. I told him all about wanting to study abroad. The ease of being around Kai was growing on me fast.
“I’m also pretty good at reading palms.” Kai reached for my hand. “May I?” Kai’s hand was warm to the touch and he gently traced the lines in my palm with his finger. “Ahhhhh.”
“What is it? What do you see?”
“It says here, your heart belongs to someone.” Kai glanced over to Jake, who was working in the back.
“Well then, you’re not as good as you think you are,” I lied. Me and Jake? Never.
“I don’t know,” he said with soft eyes. “I think I’m pretty good at this.”
“The guy hates my guts. And trust me. The feeling is mutual. So yeah, your powers suck.”
Kai let out a hearty laugh. I did too.
I eased my hand out of his and changed the subject. “So, what about ghosts? Do they haunt you? I mean, can they?”
“At times, sure. Those are the ones that are usually lost.”
“Like my mom?”
“Kind of.”
“How do you know if you’re being haunted?”
“Sometimes a disincarnated spirit can make you aware of them through smell, like a special perfume or cologne they used to wear when they were alive. Or sometimes they might move an object that may have been dear to them or the other person.”
“What about things that manifest from nothing? Like a book or something.” Or a plush rabbit with one eye. Or a floating paper that freezes in midair?
“Anything is possible, I guess.”
It was getting really hot. My forehead felt clammy while my heart felt like it was going to tear out of my ribs. Something was wrong. Out of nowhere, I heard the loudest tone in my head, a sound that cut through my brain.
Kai leaned in. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just a little headache,” I lied.
It was a miracle I wasn’t completely deaf in my ear, but I played it off. “What was I saying? Oh yeah, so are there any other signs or ways in how a ghost could reveal itself?”
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
I nodded.
“Let’s see.” Kai put his hands to his chin. “Sometimes they can talk to you through numbers. You might see the same number over and over, and that could be a birthday or the date of a special event that took place while they were living.”
Kai continued talking, but then all I could hear was Darleen’s voice and she was five tables down serving another couple. On top of that, her lips weren’t moving. “Lizzy is way out of her league with that one. One night with him and I would...”
Oh my God. Please stop, I thought to myself.
Whatever twisted dark fantasy Darleen was cooking up in her head crawled over my skin in a way that made me want to hurl.
“You pig, you’re so disgusting and fat.” I glanced at a woman thin as a rail in the booth across from us. She was alone with a large slice of pie and fries set on her plate. A wave of sadness about knocked me out of my chair. She was sucking all the air out of the room, and I couldn’t breathe.
What was happening to me?
“I hate him, I wish he would choke on that pork sandwich and die. It would serve him right. I want a divorce.” Mrs. McIntyre sat at another table with her husband. Her lips never moved. And she meant what she said. She wanted Mr. McIntyre dead. I wasn’t sure what he had done, but the hate and fury sweltered through my body like I was the one angry with him, and I barely knew him. I couldn’t breathe.
The room spun out of control with so many thoughts and emotions from other people I was close to cracking and felt like a freak.
“Lizzy?” someone called. “Lizzy?” There was a gentle touch to my hand from across the table. “Are you okay?” It was Kai.
I had to get out of there. Fast.
“Sorry. I’ll be right back.” I dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me.
I never should have stopped my meds. This was more than a panic attack from being in a crowded room. I could feel and sense things that I shouldn’t. People’s thoughts or emotions. But that was crazy.
My heart sped out of control.
Everything around me—the walls, the sink, and the stall—felt like it was crushing down on my chest. I leaned over and rested at the sink until I could finally turn on the cold water to splash my face.
With a moment of relief, I took a deep breath and glanced up at the mirror. Something was off in my eyes. I peered deeper as my reflection changed. The veins under my eyes erupted to the surface like bubbling black tar. I gasped, but as soon as I touched it with my finger, it disappeared. I was going nuts. No. Calm down.
I tried to convince myself it was just a side effect from stopping the meds. “As long as you stay calm, you’ll be fine.” Right. That was all I had to do. Stay calm and breathe.
I was about to grab a paper towel to dry my hands when something whispered from the mirror.
Let me out.
I peered deeper into the mirror. The reflection changed again.
My hair was wet and clung to my face. My clothes were wet too. And my eyes...they were entirely black.
The dark me in the mirror hissed. “Let me out.”
My thoughts flashed to the chandelier that almost killed Meghan, how good it felt letting the anger and darkness out.
“You’re not real,” I said trembling.
All that did was provoke it. It growled before its hands and arms broke through the mirror to grab me.
Startled, I fell backward to the ground with the shattered glass.
I must have blacked out f
or a second or so. When I came to, the broken pieces were gone. I hoisted myself up to the sink and nervously checked my reflection. It was like nothing happened. My eyes, everything, was normal. I was losing it, and was on the verge of tears when someone knocked on the door.
“Hey, you okay in there?” It was Jake.
I couldn’t let him or Kai see me like this. “I’m fine,” I hollered, wiping my eyes with a paper towel.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” I said, finally opening the door. “See. I’m fine.”
Jake’s eyes washed over me as I tried to avoid them. “No. You’re not.”
“I better go,” I said trying to get around him.
“Hey, hold on.” Jake stopped me with his hands at my shoulders. He sounded different. Concerned. His voice was warm. “You’re shaking.”
“I—”
“Close your eyes.” Jake took my hands into his.
“What are you—”
“Just trust me. Close your eyes.”
The feeling of Jake’s hands holding mine calmed the evil inside of me. What else could I call it?
“Imagine you’re in pure darkness. There’s absolutely nothing there but a faint blue ball of light. Can you see it?” The tenderness in Jake’s voice was easy to fall into.
“It’s faint, but it’s there,” he said. “Good. Just focus. You want that ball of light to grow brighter and stronger, but to do that, you’re going to half to slow down your breathing and calm your mind. Take a deep breath in.”
And I did.
“Good,” he said. “And now out. You’re doing great. Again.”
Everything disappeared but the blue ball of light, my breath, and the sound of Jake’s voice. The more I breathed with him the stronger the ball of light got and the lighter I felt.
“Now, let the light fill every part of your body,” he continued.
The ball of blue light flooded through every part of my being. And it just kept getting brighter. It was like I had control of myself again. I felt grounded and refreshed.
“Good,” Jake said. “Now, open your eyes.”
I opened my eyes to the deep blues of his, and lost myself in him. But it was more than that. It was almost as if he had lost himself in me, like somehow we were one living breathing thing. It was hard to explain and even harder to ignore this thing between us.
“See.” Jake brushed a strand of hair from out of my face with his finger. “All better.”
Our eyes stayed locked on each other as my body pulsed from his touch.
“Hey.” It was Kai. “Is everything okay?”
Kai’s voice snapped the both of us out of the trance.
“Uh, yeah,” I said flushed. “I was just coming out of the bathroom. Tripped and fell. Jake helped me up.”
“Yeah. Well, I better go.” Jake turned to leave.
“Hey. Thanks,” I said, not wanting him to go anywhere.
“Yeah. Thanks.” There was a sliver of doubt in Kai’s voice, like he wasn’t buying any of it.
Regardless, Kai paid the bill and then took me home after I told him I wasn’t feeling well. The truth was I needed some time alone to think about the dark me I saw in the mirror, and more importantly, I needed to get back to the book.
8
With my arms full, I dropped the plush rabbit and the books that I had checked out from the library onto my desk.
The magical book that tingled in my hands, I set on the bed.
I went and grabbed the lion’s head from the box on the floor. The cool iron knob brought more memories of the darkness from my nightmare of the thing on the other side of the door. It also made me think of the dark me I saw in the mirror back at the café. Both had said the same thing.
Let me out.
Chills ran up my spine. What if something evil was in the book and I was about to let it out? Then again, what if Mom was trying to tell me something? Warn me?
I sighed, placed the book in my lap, and made the sign of the cross.
I inserted the knob into the metal hole like a key, all the while praying I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life. The book pulled the knob out of my hand and into place with the sound of a click. I tugged at the cover, but the book wouldn’t open.
That gave me another idea. Cassie seemed to be good with tools so I went and knocked on her door.
“It’s open,” she yelled.
“Hey, sorry to bother you.”
She sat on the bed surrounded by a stack of books almost as big as her body. They were all cracked wide open like she was studying for the Bar, but no ordinary Bar. These were old and ancient. Kind of like the one I had myself.
“Wow.” I said.
“Just catching up on some reading.” She closed the books.
“Shouldn’t you and Josie be out somewhere, I don’t know, taking over the world?”
“Ha. That was last night,” she laughed. “Hey...sorry about the whole video thing. I swear nobody cares.”
Not according to the two thousand likes the video had already gotten. I was trying hard to forget about it. “Any chance you’ve got a screwdriver?”
“Hmmmm. Let me see.” Cassie hopped off her bed and rummaged through her desk. “I think there’s one in here somewhere.” She dug deeper into the back of the drawer. “Annnnd yep. One screwdriver,” she said handing it to me. “Was that all you needed?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
We stood there silent as I got the strange feeling that we were both up to something neither of us wanted to talk about.
“I better go,” I said. “Thanks again.”
“Sure. No problem.”
Outside Cassie’s door, my phone buzzed.
Kai – Just checking in. R u feeling better?
Me – Yeah. I’m good. Thanks.
Kai – Good......
Kai – I was just wondering. I mean I really had a good time with you tonight.....
Kai - Are you free sometime this week? I mean if you wanna talk some more?
Talking with Kai was easy. Not only was he heartthrob adorable, but I didn’t feel like a bumbling weirdo around him.
Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Jake off my mind. I couldn’t figure him out. Jake was probably the moodiest, most complicated person I knew, aside from myself.
Maybe hanging out with Kai was exactly what I needed. Someone and something easy and simple.
Me – I’ve got work after school this week but I can meet u there, Thursday around 4?
Kai – Can’t wait.
I texted back a big smiley face.
Once I got to my room, I sat the book in my lap and tried to pry it open with the screwdriver. Somehow the screwdriver skidded off the book and into my finger just deep enough to puncture and break the skin.
I sucked the small droplets of blood that emerged from my finger when giggles echoed in the room.
Something stared up at me from down by my side, the plush rabbit I had placed on the desk. The problem was I never moved it.
I remembered the story I read about the little ghost boy who was trying to save his mother from the car wreck. And haunted didn’t necessarily mean bad or evil.
“I’m not afraid of you,” I lied, looking up and around the room.
Bold words as I sat strategizing my next move. It wasn’t like I had many. I thought about texting Kai for help. I then thought about knocking on Cassie’s door again. However, the whispers in my head grew so loud I couldn’t hear myself think anymore.
“What do you want?” I yelled out.
It was probably not the politest way to talk to a ghost.
The whispers went silent. The sound of something streaking across glass came over from the dresser. The ghost giggled again. It was more annoying than cute. Letters appeared on the mirror in what looked like red crayon or lipstick.
“B L O O D.”
That should have been the moment I flew screaming out the room and back into a padded cell. But it wasn’t.
> “Haunted doesn’t mean bad or evil,” I said to myself. “Listen to the voices.”
A warping sound came from the book. The eyes of the lion glowed bright red and then dimmed.
Hmmm. “Blood,” I said again.
This time the lion’s eyes glowed hotter than before. I finally understood what it wanted and squeezed the tip of my finger. Droplets of blood trickled down into the mouth of the lion. What sounded like gears rotated from within the book until something clicked, and the book opened.
I flipped through the pages from front to back and back to front. There was nothing written on them.
Frustrated, I was about to throw the stupid thing across the room when out of nowhere words formed onto the first page.
“Ex Praeteriti Futura Emerserit.”
I had taken Latin my first year of high school. I wasn’t very good at it, but I believed it said, From the past the future emerges. Or something like that. More words followed.
When the blood cursed is ready,
The eye shall appear.
The past shall speak to the one who will hear.
Only if born of a Daughter of Cain,
Shall a witch bring light in the time of change.
Well, that made no sense. And those words again. Daughter of Cain. Witch.
I was back to throwing the book across the room when the image of a closed eye appeared at the bottom of the page. But there was more.
The eye... It opened.
Dazed, I woke up outside, laying on a soft blanket. White puffy clouds sailed across a sky that seemed impossibly blue. The color of everything was lucid, deep, and rich, as though someone had dialed up the contrast.
Where am I? I inhaled the fresh scent of spring grass and pine. The air was crisp and clean, like being in the mountains. I tried to stand up, but something was wrong. I couldn’t move my limbs. My body then stood up on its own and stretched before squatting back down again. I wasn’t in control. My freak-out meter went from zero to ten within milliseconds. My body should have been reacting to the anxiety, but it wasn’t. Apparently, it was now immune to both my will and my feelings.
