by K. C. RILEY
In some ways, I never wanted to be Elizabeth again. What was the point? Here, there was no pai—
I was sucked into another page of the book.
Standing in the water, my mind, soul, or whatever, screamed for my body to run and save itself, but Serene wouldn’t listen.
A man was talking to me, the same man that had given the speech at Hannah’s ascension celebration. Ezra.
We both stood waist-deep in water, a lake. Around his neck, he wore a red amulet like the one Kai had sketched from Mom’s channeling. Something felt off about all of it.
“Water is emotion.” Ezra cupped his hand down into the lake and chanted strange words like a spell or incantation. A spinning ball of water about the size of a tennis ball hovered in the palm of his hand while the amulet at his neck glowed hot red. “It can be gentle and sweet.” At the sound of his voice, the ball of water changed into the form of a watery rose. “Or it can be angry and destructive.” The watery rose then turned into a black ball of spinning chaos, a storm.
The wind picked up, and the sky darkened. Thunder and lightning rolled in from nowhere like Ezra was controlling it.
“There’s no need to be afraid,” he continued. “Remember, water is emotion...your emotion.” Another round of incantations and the chaos in his hand settled down to a rose he poured back into the lake. “Now, you try. You won’t need to use words as I do. Just feel it.”
Serene’s body felt different, drastically uncomfortable.
Ezra gently placed his hands on her shoulders. My shoulders. “I know you miss her.”
I was drowning in a sadness that poured from her heart, a grief that took me back to Mom. It was too much, and I wanted out. I couldn’t breathe. What if I was trapped inside of Serene forever? What if I was trapped inside the book forever?
“Daddy, she was my best friend.” The tears flowed nonstop from my eyes.
“I know,” he said. “I know.”
“I can’t do this. You don’t understand. Something’s wrong with me. Something inside.”
“You’re perfect, sweetheart. And you’re strong. You’re more special now than you could ever know. What happened to Hannah was a terrible thing. But if you don’t release this pain, it’ll consume you. The force inside of you is unimaginable. You just have to learn to control it.” Ezra wiped the tears from my eyes. “Water is alive. It’s a conscious and living thing. To activate the power within, you must merge with it. Your consciousness to its consciousness, the two must become one.” He held his arms out and nodded. “It’s time.”
I lay back and floated in the water while he supported me with his hands. Serene reeked of sadness and depression. As I floated, the water around me turned black. The wind picked up. The clouds gathered, and the sky darkened.
“Focus on joy. Focus on beauty.”
How could he possibly expect that? She was grieving. I was grieving. This was all wrong. Serene heard his words, but she was too far gone.
“Stop,” Ezra said.
Serene’s emotions seeped deeper into the lake. The two became one, the water, and the dark misery that consumed her as she screamed and yelled out in agony.
Back in my room, I threw the book off of me and onto the floor. My body was still riddled with Serene’s darkness, her grief mixed with my own. I went and showered to try and scrub it away. It was no use. What was my mom thinking leading me to this?
Shadows rippled through me, thoughts of how good it felt when the chandelier fell in front of Meghan, the demon in the mirror at Vye’s, Cassie’s words about the Daughters of Cain turning to sirens, and what Tucker did to her because he thought she was a witch.
“Get a grip,” I told myself. “You’re overreacting.” But, I wasn’t so sure.
With a deep breath, I went and pulled the med bottle from out of the trash.
Listen to the voices.
Cassie’s advice wasn’t helping. I had been listening to the voices and was now more confused than ever. I set the med bottle on the desk as I contemplated numbing all of it. I needed to get away from everything, the book, the darkness I still felt inside of me, and the voices. I was about to open the bottle when I thought of something or someone. Sister Clara, the chapel.
I lit a small candle and placed it next to the others that were burning. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being an imposter, a demon in the house of God. And maybe demon was too strong of a word. Maybe it wasn’t.
I sat down on the pew, dazed, lost, and terrified that something was brutally wrong with me.
“Lizzy? Is that you?” I heard. It was Sister Clara.
“Sorry, I uh...um...”
“It’s dark in here, isn’t it? No one’s usually here at this hour. Is it all right if I sit with you?”
I nodded, and she sat. She didn’t ask any questions or probe me for answers. She just sat.
“Do you believe in evil?” My voice quivered.
“I believe in lots of things, and yes, evil is one of them.”
“I mean, do you believe that someone who is fairly good could become evil? Against their will?”
“Well, I think one must decipher the difference between darkness and evil. They’re not the same. Although many times, I’m afraid, we often confuse them. Many things in this world disguise themselves as light even though they’re pure evil. And yet, there are many things that appear to us as dark even though they’re genuinely good.”
“Now you sound like Yoda.”
Sister Clara let out a laugh that filled the room. “I suppose I do. A wise one he is.”
“So just because something is dark, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad?”
“Darkness and light are like mirrors of the same thing, two sides of the same coin. The key to figuring out which is good or bad is in your heart.”
“And what if your heart is wrong?”
“What if it’s right? There’s only one way to find out.” Sister Clara’s eyes softened. “Remember, the heart never lies. It’s there for a reason. To guide us through the darkness. You just have to trust it.”
Hmmm. I wasn’t convinced.
We sat in quiet for another minute before Sister Clara got up to leave. “All right then. I’ll leave you to it. Don’t stay up too long.”
“I won’t. And thanks...for the talk.”
“Goodnight, Miss Maverick.”
“Goodnight.”
I wasn’t ready to leave yet. And at some point in time, sleep had fallen over me. I woke up to dawn and Max’s cock-a-doodle-doo. That’s what I had finally named that crazy rooster. I pulled off and folded the knitted shawl that Sister Clara must have laid over me.
The first thing I did—when I got to my room—was throw the book in the closet. Listening to the voices, my intuition, or whatever, was getting me nowhere. I was done. It was back to focusing on school and work. I threw on my gear and went for a run.
After my run, I gathered the books I borrowed, including the book, and impatiently waited for the library doors to open.
Once inside, I slapped them down onto the counter.
“This doesn’t belong to the library,” the librarian said.
I completely forgot the book of darkness never had a barcode on it. “Right. Sorry.”
“You still have ten days on the others. Are you sure you want to return them so soon?” said the librarian. She pushed her glasses further up on her nose.
“Yes. I’m done with them, thanks.”
I then jetted up the stairs and counted the rows to locate the aisle where I had originally found the book from hell. I placed it back in its slot, it returned to stealth mode, and that was that. Good riddance.
I never wanted to see it again.
10
I was on my bed, going through a bunch of brochures I had collected on student exchange programs in Spain when someone knocked at the door.
“It’s open,” I yelled.
I meant what I said. No more magic and no more paranormal stuff. It was time to st
art thinking about what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated.
“It’s just us.” Josie and Cassie held two big boxes of stuff in their arms.
“Are you busy?” Josie asked.
“Well, I—”
“Doesn’t matter. Get un-busy, because today is Girl’s Day.” Josie barged in and sat the box on the floor. “But first things first, it’s time to do something with this drab ass room.”
Honestly, I’d never been so glad to see them.
“I promise it’s gonna look great when we’re done.” And Cassie was back to her bright-eyed self.
“How can I help?” I gathered the brochures into a pile and set them aside.
Josie handed me a string of fairy lights she insisted I hang over the bed along with two black and white signs that read Color Outside the Lines and Life is Art, Paint Your Dreams. Cute.
“Where’d you guys get all of this stuff?”
“Just things we weren’t using.” Cassie draped two silver and pink fabric mandalas over the window like curtains.
Josie hung another set of lights over the desk. She then ran out of the room and came back with a small chalkboard I helped her hang on the wall.
“Every day, write one thing that makes you feel good about yourself. We’ll start you off.” Josie grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote I am free to be myself around my friends. Hell, around anybody. She surrounded that with little hearts.
Cassie took the piece of chalk and wrote I am strong and beautiful. She drew little flowers around it.
“Your turn,” Josie said.
Cassie handed me the chalk. What would I say? What did I want the most to believe in about myself?
I am brave is what I wrote while trying not to completely fall apart.
By the time Josie and Cassie were done, my room felt like my own sanctuary, my own safe haven away from what had happened in the book and with my mom. And all I could say was...“Thanks.” Having friends felt good.
“Oh, we’re not done. We’ve got the whole day ahead of us. Get dressed and meet us downstairs in ten.”
Who cared what Josie was up to? I was game for anything and everything normal.
Down in the car, Josie handed out tiaras. “I got one of these for each of you.”
Okay, everything but that. “What are these for?” I was not putting a tiara on my head. Nope. It wasn’t happening.
“As homecoming coordinators of All Saints, we are in for a day of hair, nails, cake tasting, food sampling, picking table patterns...” she took a breath, “...and trying on dresses with Mrs. Ellington’s personal stylist, Jean-Stephan Le Broc.”
“Jean who?” And what did Mrs. Ellington have to do with trying on dresses?
Josie sighed and rolled her eyes to the top of her head. “Never mind, just put them on.”
An image of Serene immersed in water as black as tar flashed through my mind. And that was all it took to put the stupid tiara on my head.
Josie turned up the music while spilling the beans on who was breaking up and getting together because of the dance lottery pick. And Cassie made predictions on how long new love would last. We rolled the windows down and laughed and screamed at the top of our lungs with the wind at our face. The sun was shining. The grass was green. The sky was bluer than I remembered, and most importantly, there was no cursed book sucking me deep into its pages of dark misery and despair.
“So, what’s up with you and Jake?” Josie inquired.
I almost choked. “What do you mean?” I knew exactly what she meant.
“Don’t play coy. I’ve seen the way you look at him. The way he looks at you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“Seriously,” Josie said. “Don’t let Jake’s bite fool you. You’ve got to break him down like a wild horse.” Josie twerked her butt in the seat and waved her hand in the air like she was lassoing a calf.
Cassie laughed, and I sat back in my seat to hide the color of my face. There was no way I was going to admit that the sound of Jake’s name triggered a certain global-warming within. Or that I once saw him, while heavily doped, as an angel. The verdict was still out on what I actually did see.
“What? It’s true.” Josie reached her hand out and skipped to the next song. “You know what they say about wild horses. The best way to tame them is in the water.”
And that wasn’t happening. I wasn’t going anywhere near water. “New topic, please.”
“Fine, what about the other guy. The one you ran into yesterday at the library?” Josie adjusted the rearview mirror so she could see me. “I heard he’s a total hottie.”
How did she know that?
“He’s just a friend,” I answered.
“And does this friend have a name?” Josie wasn’t letting up.
“His name is Kai. I met him while catering a party for Mrs. Ellington.” There was no way I was bringing up the medium part.
“So? Did you ask him to the dance? Or did you ask Jake?” Cassie turned around to face me.
“What?” I said flustered. “No. Neither.”
“You did kind of complicate things.” Cassie said to Josie. “You’ve got people breaking up left and right.”
“Well, what was I supposed to do? If dance partners were left to couples and dates, some of us wouldn’t have any, hellooooo. At least this way, everyone is partnered. Besides, if I hadn’t come up with the idea for the lottery, Lizzy wouldn’t be dancing with the love of her life.”
I choked on my saliva as I tried to say something.
“And I’m the victim here. I mean, I’m dancing with Mason,” Josie said.
“Here.” Cassie handed me a bottle of water.
“Thanks.”
We were soon pulling up in front of an old rustic white building not too far from Vye’s Café.
A young man tailored from head to toe greeted us at the door. Based on the French accent, I assumed that it was Jean. He kissed Josie on both sides of her cheeks and welcomed us all in. More kisses to the cheek followed to both Cassie and I, while trays of cheese, imported salami, caviar, and sparkling water were brought out on silver platters. I passed on the caviar. The outside of the place did no justice to the inside. Soft spa music played in the background as Jean gave us a tour of various halls filled with beautiful gowns and dresses that sparkled in the light of crystal chandeliers.
We all eventually sat down on white couches. Josie and Jean rummaged through large books of fabric and linen samples. Was she planning a homecoming dance or a wedding? I didn’t care. It felt good to get out.
Jean left the room and returned with a large garment bag and handed it to Josie.
“Now the fun begins.” Jean sounded a little tipsy. “I pulled this one specifically for you.”
Josie gasped, squealed, and about died. She grabbed the bag and went to try on the dress. A few minutes later Josie stepped out and was drop-dead gorgeous.
The light reflecting from the lavender and white laced gown made Josie look like an angel as she lifted the frills and spun around. “It’s perfect. I’ll take it.”
“All right, you’re next,” Jean said to Cassie.
He handed Cassie a garment bag, and both she and Josie went to the back to change.
Jean and I were left alone. I shrugged and smiled as he sipped on more champagne.
“She likes you, you know,” Jean said.
“Sorry?” I asked with knitted brows.
“Josie, she’s taken a liking to you. Aside from Cassie, that’s rare. She’s got a lot of guards up, that one. Doesn’t let people in very often. Now me, I’m an open book.”
“I didn’t know that. Josie seems pretty popular at school. How do you guys know each other?”
“Believe it or not we were once neighbors, a broken down trailer park about three hours south from here. She lived there with her deadbeat parents for about five years until she got a scholarship to that fancy school of yours. Smart girl, her parents, not so much. Tot
al meth heads that tried to sell her for drugs, if you know what I mean.”
Woe. I had no idea. And poor Josie. She was practically an orphan like me. She never said a word about her parents or that she was on scholarship. Then again, I never asked. I just assumed she was like everyone else at school, spoiled rich. Clearly, I was wrong. That said, if she was on scholarship where was she getting the money for a Range Rover?
Cassie was right. Josie had her own secrets, but so did I and everyone else.
“I’m James by the way. James is my real name. Jean-Stephan Le Broc. Pftttt. That was all Mrs. Ellington’s idea, something about branding and the French. And, well, you can’t bite the hand that feeds you, right? I mean she did make me what I am.” Jean glanced around the boutique.
I politely smiled.
“Anyway. Can you believe that? Me and Josie neighbors? And look at us now.” Jean lifted his champagne glass as though he was making a toast in the air. “Only thing, don’t tell her I told you, the name or the neighbors, part. She’s been through enough. It’s nice to see her happy.”
“Yeah.”
“What are you guys up to?” Josie said smiling. “I hope you weren’t talking about me.”
“Of course not, darling.” Jean winked at me, took another sip of his champagne, and mouthed our secret. “I was just telling Lizzy here how lucky she is to have you as a friend.” Jean set his champagne glass on the table. “Well. Would you look at that?”
Cassie entered the room with a big smile and a baby-blue ball gown that sparkled and hung off her shoulders. She was breathtaking.
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
“Right?” Josie added.
“You guys are going to look amazing,” I said.
“Not just us. You’re next,” Josie insisted.
Jean handed me a garment bag and winked again.
“I can’t afford this.”
