by Stella Clark
“Later at the picnic?” Owen asked. When she didn’t respond, he glanced at her. Ruby’s gaze was down, avoiding his eyes. Her fingers sat impatiently in her lap, tapping against her knees in a frenzy. He opened his mouth to ask again in case she hadn’t heard, but she offered a sharp nod. So she would tell him.
They turned down the street as he tried to think what might be going on inside her head. He made two stops on their way out of town for supplies that he and Ruby had discussed. Once everything was loaded up, they made for home.
***
After behaving quietly all morning, Kate and Parker were bundles of energy upon arriving home. Ruby found herself growing impatient with them but forced herself to calm down. What was bothering her? She wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead and told Parker to go change into his play clothes. As Owen unloaded the goods, Ruby went with Kate to help her switch outfits as well.
She gathered sandwiches and berries in a basket as the children decided on which of two blankets they would take outside. Owen grew exasperated and chose for them. It silenced them, and they pouted until they were outside and running around the tree.
Ruby swallowed hard when Owen joined her on the blanket. It wasn’t that he’d sat down, in particular, but it was about how close they were. Her gaze dropped to find their hands only inches apart. Her stomach fluttered. She felt so nervous. What had happened to her? She’d been wanting him to want her for a while now. She’d set her plan in motion, and it looked like it was working. She had no reason to be so anxious.
But she was. As the children ran around, it meant she was alone with her husband. Ruby avoided looking at him for as long as she could. Though she wanted them to be close, she had hoped he wouldn’t mention the scars. They were from another life, after all. What would he think of her when he knew the truth? She tried to swallow, but there was a lump in her throat.
As Parker and Kate crouched over an anthill, Ruby picked at her food. It was only a moment later, however, when a large hand wrapped around her elbow. She stiffened but allowed Owen to turn her arm towards him and brush his fingers across the scar in the crook of her elbow. To her surprise, he was very gentle as he studied it. Yet it didn’t stop her stomach from churning, wondering what he might think once he knew.
Chapter Nine
“A year old,” he said decidedly as he compared it to the nearby burn. She could feel his gaze on her. Even as she tried not to look, she could feel the heat climbing into her cheeks. “It required stitches, didn’t it?”
It had not been one of the finer moments in the Gebhart home. She remembered the homemade stitches and infection that had come after her father had flung an already broken plate at her. Though she had meant to catch it, her fingers had slipped. Ruby sighed with a nod. Maybe he deserved to know. If he hadn’t hit her yet, surely he wouldn’t start now.
“What happened?”
She opened her mouth twice before she could find the words. “My father.” Her other hand danced alone on her thigh. “He wasn’t a typical, you know, father … it’s just, you see, growing up … he drank. A lot.”
His thumb ran over the scar. “So that’s why you came west.”
Ruby shrugged, eyes still on the last of the blackberries. “Oh, you know. I—I always wanted to come out here. I heard stories. I simply—I had to … I had to get out.” She blinked, squeezing the tears back.
“Was he always …” Owen trailed off.
“For as long as I can remember, he would drink,” Ruby forced the words out. “And it made him meaner. I couldn’t—and I tried, but he just … I got better. This was the last one,” she gestured to her ear. “The bottle smashed next to my head.” His silence made Ruby nervous, and she found herself rambling. “I ran once. I tried, but he just … I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t go anywhere. My friend, I had one, but he didn’t love me enough to—to help, you see, and then this happened and I—I saw your ad. I thought, maybe?
“I was nervous. Very nervous. I wasn’t certain, of course. West, east, men are … you know? That is, they can be like that. Sometimes they aren’t. You aren’t. You haven’t been. And it’s been …”
Ruby glanced up into Owen’s eyes. They were a stormy green beneath his furrowed brow. “It’s been what?” he asked finally.
She swallowed hard and glanced at how he still held her arm. “Nice. It’s been … nice.”
That’s when he realized they were still touching. Owen jerked back and dropped her arm. Ruby glanced to the children as he digested her words. Anything could happen to her, she decided. As long as it didn’t happen to them.
He watched her for a minute, trying to sort through his emotions. There were so many thoughts in his head now that he was struggling to comprehend. He was tired of looking at that scar now; his stomach all twisted inside. It represented something that no one deserved, especially Ruby. How could anyone have wanted to harm her? The woman was smart, caring, clever, and kind. Her father was a blasted fool. He had half a mind to go east and let the man know.
Those were the thoughts that frightened Owen. He wasn’t used to feeling this type of protectiveness for someone else. Yet under the apple tree with Ruby, something bright sprang into his chest. All because of the knots in his stomach and the scar on her arm. None of it made sense. Owen scratched his head and tried to think. He had to say something.
“He was a fool,” he murmured. “No one will ever hurt you again. Not here.”
Ruby turned to him with wide eyes. The firm kindness in his tone was unexpected. She opened her mouth to say something, but Kate came screaming over to them as Parker chased her with a worm.
They didn’t have a chance to continue their serious conversation as the children kept them occupied with games and laughter.
***
The picnic lasted until sunset, all four of them eventually cleaning up and returning inside. Ruby lay in her bed for a long time, staring at the ceiling. Something had most certainly happened. Her heart was pounding. And those kind words he had said. A small smile crept to her lips.
It was the following morning, as they worked quietly, that Ruby realized that they still had a ways to go. He knew about her past, but she knew nothing of his. She didn’t even know the name of his first wife, the one who had died and left him feeling all alone in the world. Her heart reached out to him, but she didn’t know how to let him know she cared.
After that picnic, it was clear he cared. If he would just talk to her, Ruby thought, and really talked, then perhaps he could move beyond his grief. And if he could move beyond his grief, then perhaps he could move forward with her. Maybe even love again. Though the thought felt selfish, Ruby knew that it would be better for all of them as well. Especially the children.
Kate had called her “mama” again, but this time without Owen around. The child was so innocent and she knew little else. Ruby had merely wrapped the girl tight in her arms to snuggle her for a precious moment. They could worry about the semantics later. Yet she wanted it to happen again, and she wanted Owen to accept that. To invite the idea in their home.
So consumed in her thoughts was she that Ruby hardly noticed when it was time for him to leave for the cattle. Standing by the chicken coop, she leaned against a post and watched him head towards the valley. Usually she returned inside, but this time she lingered. To her surprise, she saw Owen pause at the end of the grove.
Ruby took a step forward, wondering if something was wrong. The man knelt down and touched something beside the trunk of the tree. She cocked her head curiously but could not tell what it was. Had he dropped something? Did he usually do this?
Soon he was back on his horse and traveling north again. She could see the cattle far ahead, like dark spots. Ruby considered going down to find out what was going on, but she thought of the children and decided to turn around for the house instead. Another time, she decided.
“But soon,” Ruby added to herself in a resolved manner.
***
It was
nearly a week later when the three of them made their way down into the grove. They needed to gather the last of the apples before the freezing winds struck. Everything was such an adventure, especially with the children. They made the time fly and were eager to please. Parker and Kate carried the baskets as Ruby brought a ladder from the house.
“Can I climb?” Parker asked hopefully, once they settled on a tree to begin.
“You can climb the ladder later,” she gave him a look. “But you’re not climbing the trees with me around. We don’t need you breaking any limbs. Now the serious question is, are you good at catching?”
He nodded with his wide eyes. “Good. Because I am going to shake the limbs, and I need you to make sure we don’t bruise the apples. They don’t taste as good when they’re bruised, do they?”
“Nope!” He popped the word out with a grin. “What about Kate?”
They glanced at the girl sitting happily on her blanket right out of the way. “Kate is … safe,” Ruby said decidedly. “We both need to keep an eye on her. Soon she’s going to outrun you!”
He laughed. “Nuh-uh!”
She grinned, climbing the ladder. “Yeah-huh. Now get ready!”
They’d filled an entire basket before Ruby remembered the little girl. She turned to check on Kate. The blanket was in a heap, and her little girl was gone. Her heart dropped. “Kate?” Ruby ran to the blanket. It wasn’t the first time she’d lost sight of the toddler before. But usually they were in the house, and Parker knew all of her hiding spots. “Kate! Where are you?”
“Oh.” The little boy joined her side and pointed. “Maybe she’s talking to Mother.”
She froze. “What did you say?”
Parker tugged on her hand. “Let’s go see if Mother knows.”
The thoughts in her head became jumbled and confused as she tried to understand what the child was saying. Children often spoke in riddles, but she had to wonder. It was only when he brought her to the other edge of the grove that Ruby understood.
All the tension and fear in her chest dissipated as she found Kate touching a standing piece of wood. She was repeating to herself rather proudly, “Mama!”
“Kate,” Ruby sighed in relief and hurried over to scoop the girl up. “You don’t run off like that. Understood? My dear, I was so worried.” She kissed the girl’s ruddy cheeks three times before turning to the dark marker.
Words were carved in it, and that’s when she realized it was a grave marker. And it was the spot she had seen Owen stop by. “‘Daughter, wife, mother,’” Ruby whispered. “Oh.”
Parker came over to join them, and she wrapped an arm around him as well. “Do you miss her?”
He nodded. “Kate never knew Mama, but—but he lets us see her. He talks to her a lot. I like talking to you. You hug me.” His eyes were so big and blue. Ruby realized that the children’s blue eyes didn’t match their father’s, which meant they were their mother’s. Her heart went out to them, and then to Owen as well.
“So this is where he goes every morning,” she breathed softly.
Chapter Ten
It took another month, but Owen was able to hire two ranch hands who were passing through town looking for work. At last he wasn’t on his own with the cattle now. They bunked in the old house, closer to the animals, and Ruby prepared their noonday meals that Owen took with him in the mornings. The change was small, but it helped as the days grew shorter.
Especially since they allowed him to come home in time for supper more often. In fact, there was time to wash up, play with Parker and Kate, and then eat around the table as a family.
The change was an easy one to make. He paused after stoking the fire, looking at the little family before him, curled up in their blankets. The nights were growing chilly, and there would be snow soon. But none of them sounded disappointed. Already, Ruby was excited to use the snowshoes he’d made, and the children were impatient for snowball fights. His eyes drifted from one to the next, his chest feeling tight again.
That happened a lot lately, and he was learning to enjoy the sensation. Somehow, his heart was softening in a way he had no longer thought possible. Though he still visited his wife every morning, his thoughts were more focused on the next opportunity he would have to play with the children and work alongside Ruby.
She laughed loudly at one of Parker’s jokes. It wasn’t a very funny one for it made little sense. But she squeezed the boy tightly, who beamed brighter than the sun. That was something else the girl—no, he had to stop calling her that; she was a woman—had been able to do. Now when he came home, the children shouted for joy and ran to hug him. Parker and Kate were happy children now, loud and eager to learn. It was noisy, but even that felt right.
Until they started reading the scriptures. They were diving into Ephesians, and Ruby was reading aloud. Owen held Kate in his lap as she traced the stitching of his sleeves up and down. Everything felt right until she brought up the scripture and read aloud, “And a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.”
There were more scriptures that followed, words that tumbled innocently out of Ruby’s mouth with one hand holding the scriptures and the other tracing the words she spoke, to let Parker keep an eye on the reading. The soft feelings inside him froze as he thought of his first wife.
It was still too strange to consider Ruby his wife. They had come into their own, working alongside one another and tending to the family in their separate ways. Though they talked more often and could be considered friends, Owen was still committed to his first wife. But as Ruby read the scriptures now, he wondered what God would say. What Jenna would have said.
He wasn’t being true to her. Swallowing hard, he glanced away. The thudding in his heart grew louder until it blocked out all the sounds, including Ruby’s voice. For a minute, all he wanted to do was set Kate down and run off to see Jenna. But it was dark and it was late. Owen stiffened and shook his head to himself. He was being ridiculous. He could talk to her in the morning.
“Owen? Is everything all right?” Ruby watched him with a concerned expression across her pretty face. Not that he noticed how pretty she was, seeing as it didn’t matter. He looked away to stop thinking about her. To stop thinking about everything.
Thinking fast, he yawned and stretched. “It’s getting late. I think I’ll retire early.”
“Oh. All right then. Of course, you look exhausted. Children, tell your papa to sleep well tonight.”
“Are we done reading?”
“I wanna weed,” Kate pouted as Owen set her down. “Weed! Weed!”
Ruby put out a hand to the child to usher her over. Soon, both children were in her lap. If Owen had been in a better mood, he might have laughed. The children were getting big, but Ruby was still a slight woman and couldn’t see the book in front of them now. Rubbing his forehead, he turned away. There were too many distractions to think clearly.
***
“Sleep, Papa,” the children chorused and giggled to themselves.
“Sleep well,” Ruby corrected them as she watched her husband exit the room. The man had turned pale, and she wondered if he was all right. Perhaps she should rise even earlier to get a few more things done before he woke up. Would he sleep in if she asked him to? Ruby doubted it. They had become good friends, but she worried he thought nothing more of her.
And that hurt. It hurt the way he covered his eyes, not looking at her. A lump formed in her throat as she listened to his slow, heavy steps as Owen walked down the hall, and then there was the creaking of his bedroom door. She had never been in there. That was the one space in the house she had never been, and it bothered her.
How long would it take him to see her as his wife? His companion, his helpmeet? She loved her new life. And she hated to be selfish, but she wanted her husband as well. Ruby wanted to know what it was like to be loved, to feel more than fondness. While she felt it for him, more deeply than she had meant for it to happen, somehow the change of heart in him s
he was hoping for was simply not happening.
Ruby finished reading the scriptures to the children before setting them off to bed. The kitchen was already cleaned, so she retired into her own little room with the little bed and the little window and little else. She sighed, unbraiding her hair as she prayed for strength to endure and faith that her plan would work. It had been in motion for weeks now, and she was out of ideas.
Only when morning came did the thought come to Ruby. They were finishing up in the yard with the three sheep he had just purchased, and he was about to go meet the ranch hands. The moment Owen tipped his hat her way, her eyes glanced towards the grove of trees.
“Owen?” Ruby sucked in a deep breath as he turned to her. “Can I … I mean, I simply want to—I wish that, could I possibly … may I meet your wife?” Her heart beat against her chest so hard that it hurt. She pulled her hands together tight and waited.
He turned to give her a measuring look. The hat was back on, creating a shadow across his eyes that she couldn’t read. Eventually, Owen glanced out towards the trees and nodded. His grip tightened on the horse’s rope. Then he took a step forward and jerked his head for her to follow.
Chapter Eleven
She prayed as they walked. It might have been a terrible idea. The thought of it sounded so terribly ridiculous. Especially when it was said out loud. As they moved closer to the headstone that the children had showed her, her stomach grew tighter. Wrapping her arms around herself, Ruby tried to gather her nerves.
“Here.” Owen gestured lightly off the path, leaving the horse there as it knew to stand and wait. Her husband cleared his throat and stood in his usual spot before the grave marker. And this time, Ruby stood beside him.
The man was tall and silent. His presence was overwhelming, like the hot sun. A droplet of sweat ran down her forehead. Wiping it away, Ruby glanced up and then at the gravestone. Her heart skipped a beat. What was she to do now? She swallowed, trying to think.
