by Don Marquis
CHAPTER II
I never stopped to tell but two, three folks on the way to BrotherCartwright's, but they must of spread it quick. 'Cause when I got backhome with him it seemed like the hull town was there. It was along aboutdusk by this time, and it was a prayer-meeting night at the church.Mr. Cartwright told his wife to tell the folks what come to theprayer-meeting he'd be back before long, and to wait fur him. Which shereally told them where he had went, and what fur. Mr. Cartwrightmarches right into the kitchen. All the chairs in our house was into thekitchen, and the women was a-talking and a-laughing, and they had sentover to Alexanderses for their chairs and to Rogerses for theirn. Everyoncet in a while they would be a awful bust of language come up fromthat hole where that unreginerate old sinner was cooped up in.
I have travelled around considerable since them days, and I have mixedup along of many kinds of people in many different places, and someof 'em was cussers to admire. But I never hearn such cussing before orsince as old Hank done that night. He busted his own records and rizhigher'n his own water marks for previous times. I wasn't nothing buta little kid then, and skeercly fitten fur to admire the full beauty ofit. They was deep down cusses, that come from the heart. Looking backat it after all these years, I can believe what Brother Cartwright saidhimself that night, that it wasn't natcheral cussing and some higherpower, like a demon or a evil sperrit, must of entered into Hank's humancarkis and give that turrible eloquence to his remarks. It busted outevery few minutes, and the women would put their fingers into their earstill a spell was over. And it was personal, too. Hank, he would listenuntil he hearn a woman's voice that he knowed, and then he would letloose on her fambly, going backwards to her grandfathers and downwardsto her children's children. If her father had once stolen a hog, or herhusband done any disgrace that got found out on him, Hank would put itall into his gineral remarks, with trimmings onto it.
Brother Cartwright, he steps up to the hole in the floor when he firstcomes in and he says, gentle-like and soothing, like a undertaker when hetells you where to set at a home funeral:
"Brother Walters."
"Brother!" Hank yells out, "don't ye brother me, you sniffling,psalm-singing, yaller-faced, pigeon-toed hippercrit, you! Get me aladder, gol dern you, and I'll come out'n here and learn you to brotherme, I will." Only that wasn't nothing to what Hank really said to thatpreacher; no more like it than a little yaller, fluffy canary is like abuzzard.
"Brother Walters," says the preacher, ca'am but firm, "we have alldecided that you ain't going to come out of that cistern till you signthe pledge."
And Hank tells him what he thinks of pledges and him and church doings,and it wasn't purty. And he says if he was as deep in eternal fire aswhat he now is in rain-water, and every fish that nibbles at his toeswas a preacher with a red-hot pitchfork a-jabbing at him, they could jabtill the hull hereafter turned into snow afore he'd ever sign nothing aman like Mr. Cartwright give him to sign. Hank was stubborner than anymule he ever nailed shoes onto, and proud of being that stubborn. Thattown was a awful religious town, and Hank he knowed he was called themost onreligious man in it, and he was proud of that too; and if any onecalled him a heathen it jest plumb tickled him all over.
"Brother Walters," says that preacher, "we are going to pray for you."
And they done it. They brought all them chairs close up around thatcistern, in a ring, and they all kneeled down there, with their headson 'em, and they prayed fur Hank's salvation. They done it up in style,too, one at a time, and the others singing out, "Amen!" every now andthen, and they shed tears down onto Hank. The front yard was crowdedwith men, all a-laughing and a-talking and chawing and spitting tobaccoand betting how long Hank would hold out. Old Si Emery, that was thecity marshal, and always wore a big nickel-plated star, was out therewith 'em. Si was in a sweat, 'cause Bill Nolan, that run the bar-room,and some more of Hank's friends, or as near friends as he had, was outin the road. They says to Si he must arrest that preacher, fur Hank isbeing gradual murdered in that there water, and he'll die if he's heltthere too long, and it will be a crime. Only they didn't come into theyard to say it amongst us religious folks. But Si, he says he dassentarrest no one because it is outside the town copperation; but he'sconsiderable worried too about what his duty orter be.
Pretty soon the gang that Mrs. Cartwright has rounded up at theprayer-meeting comes stringing along in. They had all brung their hymnbooks with them, and they sung. The hull town was there then, and theyall sung, and they sung revival hymns over Hank. And Hank he would jestcuss and cuss. Every time he busted out into another cussing spell theywould start another hymn. Finally the men out in the front yard gotwarmed up too, and begun to sing, all but Bill Nolan's crowd, and theygive Hank up for lost and went away disgusted.
The first thing you knowed they was a reg'lar revival meeting there, andthat preacher was preaching a reg'lar revival sermon. I been to more'none camp meeting, but fur jest natcherally taking holt of the hull humanrace by the slack of its pants and dangling of it over hell-fire, Inever hearn nothing could come up to that there sermon. Two or three oldbacksliders in the crowd come right up and repented all over agin on thespot. The hull kit and biling of 'em got the power good and hard, likethey does at camp meetings and revivals. But Hank, he only cussed. Hewas obstinate, Hank was, and his pride and dander had riz up. Finally hesays:
"You're taking a ornery, low-down advantage o' me, you are. Let me out'nthis here cistern and I'll show you who'll stick it out longest on dryland, dern your religious hides!"
Some of the folks there hadn't had no suppers, so after all the othersinners but Hank had either got converted or else sneaked away, some ofthe women says why not make a kind of love feast out of it, and bringsome vittles, like they does to church sociables. Because it seemslikely Satan is going to wrastle all night long, like he done with theangel Jacob, and they ought to be prepared. So they done it. They wentand they come back with vittles and they made up hot coffee and theyfeasted that preacher and theirselves and Elmira and me, all right inHank's hearing.
And Hank was getting hungry himself. And he was cold in that water. Andthe fish was nibbling at him. And he was getting cussed out and weak andsoaked full of despair. And they wasn't no way fur him to set down andrest. And he was scared of getting a cramp in his legs, and sinking downwith his head under water and being drownded. He said afterward he'd ofdone the last with pleasure if they was any way of suing that crowd furmurder. So along about ten o'clock he sings out:
"I give in, gosh dern ye! I give in. Let me out and I'll sign your peskypledge!"
Brother Cartwright was fur getting a ladder and letting him climb outright away. But Elmira, she says:
"Don't you do it, Brother Cartwright; don't you do it. You don't knowHank Walters like I does. If he oncet gets out o' there before he'ssigned that pledge, he won't never sign it."
So they fixed it up that Brother Cartwright was to write out a pledgeon the inside leaf of the Bible, and tie the Bible onto a string, and alead pencil onto another string, and let the strings down to Hank,and he was to make his mark, fur he couldn't write, and they was to bepulled up agin. Hank, he says all right, and they done it. But jest asHank was making his mark on the leaf of the book, that preacher donewhat I has always thought was a mean trick. He was lying on the floorwith his head and shoulders into that hole as fur as he could, holdinga lantern way down into it, so as Hank could see. And jest as Hank madethat mark he spoke some words over him, and then he says:
"Now, Henry Walters, I have baptized you, and you are a member of thechurch."
You'd a thought Hank would of broke out cussing agin at being tookunexpected that-a-way, fur he hadn't really agreed to nothing butsigning the pledge. But nary a cuss. He jest says: "Now, you get thatladder."
They got it, and he clumb up into the kitchen, dripping and shivering.
"You went and baptized me in that water?" he asts the preacher. Thepreacher says he has.
"Then," says Hank, "you done a low-
down trick on me. You knowed I hasmade my brags I never jined no church nor never would jine. You knowedI was proud of that. You knowed that it was my glory to tell of it, andthat I set a heap of store by it in every way. And now you've went andtook it away from me! You never fought it out fair and square, neither,man playing to outlast man, like you done with this here pledge, but yousneaked it in on me when I wasn't looking."
They was a lot of men in that crowd that thought the preacher had wenttoo far, and sympathized with Hank. The way he done about that hurtBrother Cartwright in our town, and they was a split in the church,because some said it wasn't reg'lar and wasn't binding. He lost hisjob after a while and become an evangelist. Which it don't make nodifference what one of them does, nohow.
But Hank, he always thought he had been baptized reg'lar. And he neverwas the same afterward. He had made his life-long brags, and his pridewas broke in that there one pertic'ler spot. And he sorrered and grievedover it a good 'eal, and got grouchier and grouchier and meaner andmeaner, and lickered oftener, if anything. Signing the pledge couldn'thold Hank. He was worse in every way after that night in the cistern,and took to lamming me harder and harder.
