“A podcast? You’re risking your life to record content?”
“Are you mocking me?”
He shook his head. “God, no.” He took a deep breath, and pulled my hands into his lap. He interlaced our fingers.
“It sounds like it. Like you don’t think this is valuable. Do you know how many people search for their birth families? How many mothers try to find their children? My story is important. And just because this is my medium now doesn’t mean it isn’t artistic.” I felt my pulse racing.
“Hey. Hey. I’m not saying that. I wouldn’t say that.” He shook his head. “I want you to live to tell this story. I want you to make a thousand podcast episodes.” He squeezed my hands. “I want to hear your voice. I want you to have this. But fuck it, Syd. You’re not going to have any of it if you’re dead.”
My eyes locked on his. “Then just stay with me,” I whispered.
His forehead pressed to mine. “If only it was that easy.”
Eleven
Five Years Ago
It was all I wanted. Five years ago. I wanted him to stay.
I didn’t want to believe he was capable of walking away. AJ wasn’t that kind of guy. He was supposed to be honorable and trustworthy. A good guy who operated in a bad world. A man who carried a gun because he had to, not because he was armed to kill.
The hot guy who sat next to me in Econ 10 was still somewhere in there. Maybe that naiveté and lightheartedness had been hardened, but when I saw him, I saw my crush. My fantasy.
As we fell in love, I fell for every part of him. His smoldering eyes. His strong hands. His dry sense of humor. The way he touched me. The way he made me think about things the way I never had.
We had been living together in the townhouse for a few months when I got the call that he broke his arm playing soccer. As awful as it was to see him hurt, that was the last time I remember things being normal. Our normal. Soon after, I began to realize that something had changed at the Bureau.
I left DataCorp early one afternoon. I had completed my client list for the day. I sat in the sunroom, flipping through a magazine when I heard the back door open.
I looked up. The sling kept AJ’s arm cradled close to his chest. I knew he hated wearing it, but it was necessary with a broken arm, especially one that required surgery.
“Hey.” I smiled. My belly still flipped every time I saw him. I remember what Becca said to me at her housewarming. All the girls had labeled AJ Hart Mr. Sex-on-a-stick.
“I didn’t think you would be here.” He frowned.
“Oh.” I stood and walked into the kitchen. “I finished early and came home. I didn’t want to sit around and play ping pong or gossip at the juice bar. If you’re home too, does that mean we can have date night? It is Friday. Required date night in this town,” I teased.
“Date night?” He looked preoccupied. He had yet to focus on me. He scrolled through his phone.
“I’m tired of TV night with Travis. I just want it to be you and me for a change. No double dates. No pizza. Can we go out? There’s a new noodle place that looks like a dive, but I heard it’s five-star.”
“Syd, this case is not going well. I’m exhausted. My arm hurts like hell. Noodles another night, babe.”
I didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who pouted. I didn’t want to be the kind who had to beg either. I hated seeing my best friend go through that with her boyfriend. Becca and Travis might live together, but he only seemed to be half-way into the relationship.
I was also determined that AJ and I weren’t going to be one of those couples who hit a slump. The kind of slump that had a vicious ability to chip away at the little things. The excitement. The spontaneity. The hot sex. I didn’t have any intention of being AJ’s roommate. I was so in love with him it made my head spin.
I wasn’t going to let us slide backward. I couldn’t imagine us being anything other than what we were to one another now. We weren’t bright-eyed college dreamers anymore. We weren’t even novices in the work world. We had sorted out the quarter-life crap our friends were trying to wade through. We had been drawn together that night in Becca’s garden, and nothing had pulled us apart.
“Ok, if you don’t want to go out, do you want to do something here?” I asked. “A movie? I could pick up something delicious from the Italian place. No pizza though. Oh, and I have that new bottle of prosecco. I think we should start day drinking.” I grinned, trying to tempt him to let loose for the weekend.
He shook his head. He rested his forehead in his left hand. “Syd, just let me breathe.”
I took a step back. “All right.”
He groaned. “It’s just—” He looked up from his phone.
“No. No. I get it. You’re tired. There’s a lot happening at work. I’m good.”
I tossed the magazine on the counter, walked out of the kitchen, and headed for the staircase. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I got to our room, but it had to be better than standing in front of him. I didn’t know how to help him if he didn’t tell me what was wrong. If he didn’t let me into his world, how was I ever going to be able to support his work?
How did I talk him through it? How did I let him lean on me if I didn’t know what the case was? I had no idea what was happening at the Bureau. Would it always be like this? It had only felt darker and more intangible in the past few weeks. God, I wanted it to be temporary. I wanted him to snap out of it.
I rolled my eyes when I saw the costume hanging in the garment bag on the back of the door. AJ hadn’t even stayed home from work long enough to heal. He dove back into his case before his surgeon, Dr. Wexler, had cleared him for duty. And I had special ordered that costume for him. To give him a fantasy. To make him happy while he was recovering at home.
I brushed past it on my way into the closet. I turned on the light and looked at our clothes. His side neat and tidy. Mine disorderly and wildly colorful.
I inhaled one of his work shirts, pressing his collar against my nose. What if he knew the secret I had been keeping? Billy and I had another session this morning. Of course, Billy had no idea I was absorbing his coding skills like a sponge. Part of me felt guilty, but he seemed so eager to teach me, it was easy to sit and listen. As long as I understood that included listening to stories about his girlfriend, I was happy to trade a kind ear for the free lessons.
Something inside me pulled and tugged to confess to AJ. Tonight, wasn’t the right time though. He was in a horrible mood. His arm hurt. The case followed him around like a low-hanging fog. I just wanted it to be over.
My head whipped around when I heard footsteps behind me.
“Oh, you startled me.”
AJ stood in the doorway. He looked lost. As if he could stagger to the floor or either crush me with his lips.
“Did something happen?” I asked. “Do you have to go into work? Don’t they know it’s the weekend?”
His gaze floated to the garment bag. He lifted it from the hook on the door.
My heart started to race. Something deep in my core coiled tightly. I had misread his expression, now I saw it was filled with hungry lust. A lion’s lust. A primal man ready to love me breathless for the rest of the night.
“Put it on,” he directed. There was darkness and something haunting in his voice.
The blush heated my chest and neck. He gave me chills. I was consumed by the way he sounded. The way he smelled. The way he kissed. No one had loved me like AJ.
If this was what he needed tonight, I was going to be the hottest most seductive role player. My inner hellcat was ready to play.
I unzipped the bag and pulled the white satin nurse costume from the hangar. I had spent a fortune to find one that didn’t look cheap and tacky. I wanted the fantasy to be sexy for both of us. I had it overnighted, but before I got to be his naughty nurse, AJ was out the door and back on his case. Tonight, that changed. Tonight we were both about to live out our fantasies.
Twelve
When I w
alked out of the closet, AJ was lying on the bed. His sling was fastened over his shoulder. I bit my lip, sashaying toward him. The back of the costume barely touched the bottom of my ass. It was so tight across my chest, my breasts were squeezed together and spilled out over the top.
“Fuck me, Syd. You look…hot.” His gaze traced from my cleavage to my hips and down my legs.
My eyes fell to the floor. I lifted my hair off my shoulders and shook it out so it fell in loose tendrils. I crossed one foot in front of the other, pointing my toes. Accentuating my movements so he knew this dance was for him.
I stopped at the end of the bed. It wasn’t rehearsed. Nothing was planned. I popped the first button on the costume and crawled toward him. I’d never felt more seductive and more beautiful in my life.
His eyes raked over me.
“I want to tell you everything.”
I pressed a finger to his lips. “Not now.” He needed a break. He was stressed. He was exhausted. He was recovering from surgery. “The only thing you need is to feel good. I want that.”
This was the give and take part of a relationship. The part where I had to step up and be what he needed. I was reminded of that when I stood in our closet and saw our lives blended together. Love was about ebb and flow. Crashing with the waves, and holding on during the rip currents. We wouldn’t drown as long as we were together.
“Syd,” he rasped, running his fingers through my hair with the one hand that was mobile. There was something desperate in his eyes. Something painful. I wanted to erase that with an epic orgasm he’d never forget.
But I was wrong if I thought he was going to lie there and let me serve him sexual pleasure. That had never been his style.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
Even with only one arm he managed to flip me on my back. “You said you wanted me to feel good,” he growled.
“Yes, but.” My eyes rolled back when he nudged my knees apart with kisses along my thighs.
“I want you,” he explained. “I want you screaming my name, tonight.”
I nodded. “Yes. God, yes.” My hips dipped toward him as his hungry mouth claimed my center. His tongue thrust inside me and I bucked off the bed.
My moans started low while he pumped in and out, alternating between his tongue and fingers. He guided me to my climax. He knew me. He knew my body. He knew how to make me come harder than I ever had in my life.
“Ohh, AJ,” I whimpered when I didn’t think I could take any more.
He lapped and sucked until the quivering consumed me. I looked down at his head between my legs. His dark eyes locked on mine and I came. Hard. Fast. Explosive.
He kissed the softness of my thigh, chafing my skin with his scruff.
“Ow,” I purred. It was a blissful pain.
He stepped one foot on the floor and then the other. “Unbutton the rest,” he ordered.
I fumbled with the snaps until the costume lay on either side of my breasts. AJ tugged my ass to the edge of the bed.
He stepped out of his boxer briefs and I licked my lips at the sight of his cock. So wide and solid. I ached for it.
He didn’t have to say anything for me to know he ached for me too. My legs opened, clasping my heels against his lower back and he pushed inside me.
We both groaned with pleasure. His thrusts were skillful. He had all the leverage he needed, standing on two feet. It was as if there was a symphony being played between us. The crescendo building and climbing with each breath. With each pump. With each beat of our hearts.
It grew louder, followed by a softer rhythm. The speed followed by lulls. I cried for my release, but he denied me. I clawed at the bed. I dug my heels into his back, but AJ was in control. I had given him that.
I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to wrap myself around him. I wanted more of his body. How we would accomplish all that without hurting his arm was the problem we were trying to work around.
“The chair,” I moaned. “I need more of you.”
AJ’s head swiveled. “You just want to be on top,” he teased.
“Please.” My plea was raspy.
He took a step backward, offering his hand to me. He sat on the chair. I let the rest of the costume slide off my shoulder and fall on the floor. I immediately straddled him, sucking his shaft deep inside me.
“Oh God,” I cried, my head fell backward. AJ’s tongue ran along my throat.
He held me close. Our lips met. We kissed as if we could never be satisfied. He bit the corners of my mouth. Our tongues braided together while I rode up and down.
“I can’t undo what’s been done,” he whispered in my ear.
The friction between us was like wildfire. “I don’t want you to.”
“I do love you.”
I smiled. “I love you too.”
My hips rocked forward until I cried out.
His teeth sank into my shoulder as I screamed, “AJ!”
We shook together. Our climaxes claiming us. Wracking our bodies with pulses so strong and intense I thought we’d collapse on the floor.
I wiped the sweat from his brow. His hair was damp around his ears and his neck.
“I don’t think this was Dr. Wexler approved,” I joked.
He curled a strand of my hair through his fingers, watching it fall from his hand. I wished I could read his thoughts. He seemed like he was a million miles away. I didn’t know how that was possible after what we experienced.
“No, I doubt Dr. Wexler would approve of any of this.”
Thirteen
Present Day
I slept restlessly. I thought maybe some of that night five years ago had crept into my dreams. I thought about it often. I opened my eyes. AJ was sitting on the floor. His eyes fixed on the door. His gun resting in his lap. I rubbed my face.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Six,” he answered.
“When did I fall asleep?” I felt a little dizzy.
“Do you want a time or a sex count?”
I pinched my lips together. “If I had a pillow, I’d throw it at you.”
He chuckled. “Probably around 3.”
I pulled the top blanket off my naked body. The candles had burned down to wax puddles.
“I, umm…need to use…”
AJ nodded toward the hallway. “There’s a new candle. You have light in the bathroom.”
“Thanks.” I reached for a T-shirt and my underwear before walking out of the bedroom.
The rain had stopped. I could hear the wind rattling the loose shutters, but the worst of the storm had definitely passed. The trees hadn’t fallen on the roof. We had survived the night.
After a few minutes, I returned to the bedroom. “How did you stay awake all night?” I prodded. I had expected him to wrap his body around mine.
He shrugged. “Trained to stay awake I guess.”
“Really?”
“You’re not going to like the real answer.”
I folded my arms. “We’re truth talkers now. Right?”
His jaw clenched when he ran his palm against it. “My ribs hurt like hell on that floor. I couldn’t sleep,” he admitted.
“AJ!”
“Stop,” he warned. “It’s normal. Doc said it’s going to be a few months before my ribs are healed. It’s nothing to freak out about.”
I was angry he hadn’t been more honest about his pain level. “Do you have anything you can take?”
“I’m not taking anything.”
“Why are you so stubborn?” I stormed around the bedroom we had claimed, picking up our wet clothes from last night and throwing mine in my suitcase.
“We have to get out of here today, Syd. I can’t be laid up on pain killers.”
It was the way he said it that made me stop. The hair stood up on my arm. “You don’t think it’s safe anymore? What happened? Did you find something else when I was asleep? Did I miss something?” I hadn’t meant to doze off, it sort of happened when we were talking. My eyes grew to
o heavy to keep open any longer.
He shook his head. “Nothing happened. But we can’t hang out here. There’s no telling what this sick fucker has planned. He went through great lengths to get you here. I’m not going to let him keep you.”
My tone softened. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“It’s all right. I know you’re scared.” He started tossing things out of his bag. “I want you to put everything you can in my bag and we’re going to hike out.”
My eyes widened. “But the snakes? You said there were snakes. Gators? What the hell else is in that lake?”
“I’ll shoot anything that comes near you. I just hope the water didn’t wash out the road.”
It didn’t make me feel any better.
Then I remembered the tractor sitting in the barn. It wasn’t a fancy sports car, but I’d ride it out of here if it meant I didn’t have to worry about a water moccasin.
“AJ, there’s a tractor in the barn,” I reported.
“What?”
I pulled my hair on top of my head in a messy bun. My bangs fell to the side. “I saw it yesterday when I was poking around. I know it’s a long shot. But we could at least take it to the main road. I don’t want to step on a snake. Can we at least see if it works?”
He blew out a long breath. “All right. But I want to get out of here. The storm has passed. It’s not raining. I don’t know if there are any more surprises planned and I’d rather not find out. I don’t like sitting here when someone else has a plan.”
“And you’re sure we can’t go back to our cars? Shouldn’t we try them? What if it was the rain that made them not start?”
He shook his head. “I’m not an explosives expert, but there are too many devices that aren’t triggered until the second start-up. If someone planted those under the hood of either of our cars we won’t be going anywhere other than blown into the sky.”
“And you can’t just take a peek?”
He eyed me. “Syd, there’s a chance the hood is lined with powder. I’m not touching it without the gear. We’ll send a team to inspect your car. We’ll get it back to D.C. safely after the explosives team has a chance to evaluate the property.”
Shattered Hart: Hart Pursuit Trilogy Book 2 Page 5
