by Wood, J N
‘Yeah perfect,’ I said.
‘Make that two,’ Ali said.
‘Three,’ Gee added.
The smiley barmaid returned with three opened bottles. ‘You okay with no glasses? Running a bit short.’
‘That’s absolutely fine,’ I replied. ‘Thanks very much.’
Her smile looked more sincere this time.
‘What just happened Gee?’ Ali asked him, once the barmaid had left to serve another customer.
‘I meet them earlier today. They from same part of Lithuania as me. I think one of them fuck my cousin.’
‘Nice,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘What about this Pea fella? Is he happy his bouncers are giving away free drinks all night?’
Gee shrugged. ‘I do not know. You ask him. He stand behind you.’
I stared straight at Gee, and asked, ‘Really?’
He nodded, bringing his bottle up to his mouth.
I looked to Ali and whispered, ‘Do you think he heard all that?’
‘Probably,’ she replied, and leaned closer to me. ‘But you didn’t say anything bad.’ She took a swig of her drink, and then raised the bottle up to me. ‘Nice.’
I took a mouthful from my bottle, and swivelled around to face the bar. I glanced to my right and the man was angled towards me. I swivelled a little bit further and reached my hand out to him. ‘Hi, are you Mr Pea? I’m Chris.’
‘Pleased to meet you Chris,’ he said, shaking my hand. ‘Call me Charles.’ He was definitely English, from somewhere down south.
‘This is Ali and Gintaras,’ I said, leaning back on my stool.
Charles reached around me, took Ali’s hand and kissed the back of it. ‘Pleased to meet you also Ali.’
Ali just smiled. After she retrieved her hand she surreptitiously wiped it on her jeans. I didn’t think Charles had spotted the move.
Gee just leaned forward and raised his bottle, saying, ‘Thank you for drinks.’
‘You’re very welcome Gintaras,’ Charles replied.
‘What are you doing over here then?’ I asked him.
‘In America? Or in the camp?’
‘Both,’ I said.
‘I’ve been in the States for a few years. Most recently I was a yacht broker in Santa Barbara. Here in the camp, I run this bar.’
‘How do you end up running a bar in an apocalyptic refugee camp?’ Ali asked.
‘Short story? This place was available when we got here.’
‘What is the slightly longer story?’ I asked him.
‘Well, back in Santa Barbara, I borrowed one of my client’s yachts. He didn’t need it anymore on account of being dead. I then sailed Andruis, Matis, and their families up here from California. We were trying to get to Canada but their navy wouldn’t let us pass. Do you know the geography around here?’
I shook my head. ‘Nope.’
‘Not really,’ Ali said.
Gee stared at the bottle in his hand.
‘Well,’ Charles continued. ‘We were trying to get to Vancouver Island, and dock somewhere around there, but their coastal vessels appeared from nowhere. We entered the Salish Sea hoping they would leave us alone, but they just followed us until we came upon another one of their vessels, and then another one, and another. You get the picture. Then we ran out of American water and had to dock here, in Blaine’s harbour. Like I said, this place, the pub, was just available,’ he said, using both of his overly long arms to dramatically gesture to our surroundings. ‘Not many takers you see, and I had Andruis and Matis to help me get started. I figured we were going to be here a while, so we just did it. Twelve days later and here we are. Things can move quickly, but also incredibly slowly in the apocalypse.’
‘How old are you Charles?’ Ali asked, her Goose Island almost empty.
I took a long swig of mine, trying to catch up.
Charles smiled back at her. ‘I’m thirty four, Alison.’
‘How did you know the big Lithuanians?’ I asked.
The smiling barmaid appeared with three new bottles. I had to snatch my old bottle out of her reach. ‘Not finished yet,’ I said. ‘Thank you.’
‘Come on slow coach,’ Ali said.
Charles waited for us to finish talking before answering. ‘I only met Andruis and Matis for the first time when trying to get out of Santa Barbara. I figured we could help each other out, and so we did.’ He raised his glass of white wine and took a sip.
‘How do you make any money from this place?’ I asked.
‘I don’t. Nobody makes any money here. But this affords me a relatively easy and comfortable life. I don’t want to go scavenging and fishing, or venture into the wastelands killing zombies. Far too dangerous.’
‘Where does all the booze come from?’ Ali asked.
I looked up at the shelves and noticed a lot of the bottles were actually empty, probably just there for show.
‘I have my own scavengers,’ Charles replied. ‘They’re separate from the so-called official scavengers. May I ask how long you three have been here?’
‘We got here yesterday,’ Ali answered. ‘This is our first day in the camp.’
‘I imagine in the brief time you have been guests here, you will have noticed that this place is not run like a well-oiled machine? Corruption and laziness is rife.’
‘Yep, we’ve noticed,’ I said.
‘Well there you go then, you should be able to surmise from what you’ve witnessed, that it is quite easy to smuggle certain items into the camp. Getting items, or people, into Canada is another thing altogether.’
‘Are you from Suffolk?’ I asked. ‘I’m getting a slight farmer accent from you.’ I realised too late that the farmer comment was probably quiet offensive. The beers were going straight to my head.
Luckily Charles just let out a high pitched giggle. ‘Yes, I’m from Stowmarket. An Ipswich fan for my sins.’
‘I’ve got a friend in the camp from Norwich,’ I said. ‘I’ll bring him in here sometime. He’ll probably hate you.’
‘Chris,’ Ali said. ‘Try not to insult our host too much.’
Charles laughed again. ‘It’s okay Ali. Just a joke, it’s an English football rivalry.’
I glanced up and three new bottles had appeared. ‘Fucking hell,’ I exclaimed. ‘Gee, are you ordering these?’
Gee turned to me and smiled.
I finished off my first bottle and quickly downed half of the second.
‘I have discovered over the last few weeks, that Lithuanians drink like fish,’ Charles said.
‘Hey Pea my old buddy.’ A hand slapped down on Charles’s shoulder.
Charles turned to face the new arrival and smiled. ‘Evening Elliot, how has your day been?’
I twisted around to see Elliot’s smiling face. I recognised him as one of the container guys.
‘Awful, like every day before it. And I’ve been moved off night shifts.’ He glanced at me, and then at Ali and Gee. ‘Hey new guys.’ He looked back to Charles. ‘Me and Martin shepherded this lot in early yesterday morning.’
‘Hello again,’ I said.
Andruis the bouncer stepped between Ali and me, and spoke to the same smiley barmaid. ‘Elliot is okay for tonight,’ he said.
I’ve got no fucking idea how all this works.
‘Usual please Amy,’ Elliot said to the smiley barmaid. ‘How has your first day been?’ he asked, diverting his attention back to us.
‘It’s been an eye opener,’ Ali said.
I remembered my drink and finished off the second bottle.
‘New rumours today, direct from across the border,’ Elliot said.
Charles laughed. ‘From your very reliable, but secret source once again Elliot?’
Elliot frowned. ‘Yes Pea, the same.’
‘Okay, go ahead,’ Charles said. ‘Please divulge to us this accurate and truthful information, gleamed from God knows where.’
Elliot stared at Charles, shaking his head, before continuing. ‘It was definitely t
he Russians and the Chinese, working in cahoots.’
‘Cahoots,’ Charles said. ‘Is that the term the international press are using?’
Elliot ignored him. ‘Apparently they’re both denying it, but of course they would. The rest of the world is readying their defences. The United Nations is imposing all kinds of sanctions on the Russians and the Chinese. It’s definitely a cold war out there. The biggest news is that Canada is sending half its naval force over to Europe real soon.’ Elliot’s beer arrived and he took a sip, leaving foam on his moustache. He wiped it away with the back of his hand.
‘Apart from the Canadians setting sail,’ Charles said. ‘None of that is new, and it was only a matter of time before Canada’s navy was mobilised.’
‘Just letting you know the latest,’ Elliot said.
I turned to Ali. ‘So you were right, maybe.’
‘Yeah,’ she said glumly.
‘Hey,’ Charles said. ‘It’s just rumours. The virus might have been caused by parents refusing to vaccinate their kids for all we know.’
‘Everything I said is true,’ Elliot retorted.
‘Any idea how to get out of the camp?’ I asked Elliot.
‘What are you thinking?’ Ali asked me.
I shrugged. ‘How to get across the border in less than eighteen months.’
‘Across the border? Not easy,’ Elliot replied. ‘Out of the camp? Now that is easy. The same way you came in.’
‘Oh yeah,’ I remembered. ‘Why didn’t you tell us there was another option of going in by boat?’
Elliot looked confused. ‘Because you were in our container, and the tunnel was just there.’
I shook my head. ‘Okay, doesn’t matter. What about getting into Canada?’
‘You do know the wall isn’t finished?’ Charles said.
‘Nope,’ I replied. ‘Well, Elliot briefly mentioned something about it yesterday.’
Ali shifted in her seat slightly to move closer to the conversation.
‘This is a big country, and the border stretches across the whole entire lot of it,’ Elliot said. ‘They can’t have had time to finish the wall. We think they concentrated on the heavily populated areas first. They’re bound to have weak spots, where it’s just a fence, or only guarded by soldiers.’
‘Fifty miles,’ Charles said. ‘One hundred perhaps. If you go far enough you’ll definitely find one of Elliot’s weak spots.’
‘Why don’t people try it then?’ Ali asked.
‘I’m sure they do,’ Elliot said. ‘People leave here all the time. They probably die trying, or they make it. And there are the other camps. They might just go to one of them if they can’t get across.’
‘Why are you thinking of leaving us so soon?’ Charles asked me. ‘You’ve only just arrived, so you must know how bad it is out there?’
‘Because I can’t stay here for eighteen months. I need to get home.’
‘Back to England?’ Charles asked, looking surprised.
‘Yes, back home. By the sounds of it there won’t be an England if I wait much longer.’
I heard bottles clinking together as Amy the smiley barmaid placed three more bottles on the bar.
I quickly picked up my third. ‘Gee, for fuck’s sake.’
‘I’ve got two words for you–,' Charles started to say.
‘If those words are Atlantic and ocean, then I don’t want to hear them,’ I said.
‘Okay,’ Charles said, smiling and raising his glass to me. ‘Then I won’t say them.’
‘Yes I know. I’m taking it one step at a time. I’m really trying not to think about the distance, and the huge ocean.’
‘You guys aren’t like…’ Elliot paused and glanced around the pub. ‘You aren’t one of those fundamentalist types are you?’
I laughed. ‘No, obviously not.’
‘What were you looking for Elliot?’ Charles asked him. ‘That lot don’t frequent my pub.’
‘Can’t be too careful,’ he said. ‘They give me the heebie-jeebies. I bet they get us before the zombies do. Anyway, I just wanted to warn these three to keep an eye out for them.’ He turned back to us. ‘You stay clear of them, they’re trouble.’
‘Elliot,’ Ali said. ‘Where do you guys go to use the restroom? When you’re in the container.’
Elliot shifted his weight from one leg to the other. ‘Well...’ He paused to take a long drink of his beer. ‘Let’s just say it’s a good thing you came to the container from the side you did. You would probably have slipped off if you tried climbing the other side.’
‘What a delightful image,’ Charles said. ‘Thank you Elliot.’
‘What do you do if someone does come from that side,’ Ali asked, laughing.
‘We don’t usually let people in through the roof. We do have a door you know.’
‘Why did you go in through the roof?’ Charles asked us.
Before one of us could answer him, Elliot explained to Charles the circumstances that led to us gaining access to Elliot and Martin’s container.
‘That was bad timing,’ Charles said.
‘Yeah,’ Elliot said. ‘Only the second time we’ve had to set the fireworks off, so very bad timing.’
Ali sat back slightly, moving away from the conversation. She was probably thinking about Steve meeting his gruesome end during those very circumstances. Elliot and Charles had also stepped away slightly, and seemed to be discussing something. I took the opportunity to try and catch Gee up on his drinking.
‘You okay?’ I asked Ali.
She smiled up at me. ‘Yeah fine, think I might go back to the house after this one, update Jack on our failure to find Beth. Hopefully he’s found her.’
Ali was on her fourth bottle, I was still halfway through my third. ‘Let me finish mine and I’ll walk you back.’
‘No you don’t have to do that,’ Ali replied. ‘I’m a big girl.’
‘It’s got nothing to do with you being a moderately sized woman.’ That received a quizzical look from Ali. ‘I don’t think anyone should walk anywhere alone around here,’ I added. ‘Especially at night.’
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Charles stepping towards us. ‘Chris is right, but let him stay here and enjoy himself. I’ll get Matis to walk you back. Don’t worry, he’s happily married with four kids, I would trust him with my life, and my friends’ lives.’
Ali finished the last of her drink in one go. Standing up, she said, ‘Okay, I’ll take you up on that kind offer.’ She had a slight wobble, reaching her hand out to grab her bar stool. ‘Whoa, feel a little bit tipsy.’
‘You did just down four bottles in an hour,’ I said.
‘It’s only weak,’ Ali said, picking up her empty bottle and struggling to read the label. ‘Shit. Five point nine percent, it’s not weak.’ She laughed and placed the bottle back down on the bar. ‘Goodnight gentlemen. I’ll see you in the morning. Charles, is my escort available?’
Charles stepped to Ali’s side, taking her arm and walking her to the exit. ‘Walk this way my dear.’
‘Goodnight Ali,’ I said.
Without turning, she lifted her hand into the air and waved, before exiting through the inner door.
I spun around on my seat to find two new bottles. ‘Gee, when are you ordering these?’
‘When I finish last one.’
‘Well yeah, I guessed that.’ I downed the last of my third bottle and picked up the fourth.
Charles sidled up next to us and sat on Ali’s vacated stool. ‘Don’t worry about your friend. Matis will take good care of her.’
‘She could probably handle herself anyway,’ I said.
‘Are you two a couple?’ he asked me.
‘Me and Gee, or me and Ali?’
Gee let out a loud roar of a laugh, before raising his hands in the air. ‘Sorry, no loud noise.’
‘It’s okay Gintaras,’ Charles said, before looking back to me. ‘Yes, I meant you and Ali.’
‘Nope, I’m marrie
d. Need to get back to England to my wife.’
‘Do you think I’d be in with a chance?’ he asked.
‘With Ali?’ I laughed. ‘I honestly don’t know her well enough to give you an answer, but I reckon you should go for it if you want. Life is even shorter these days.’
‘Why not ask me?’ Gee asked Charles.
I turned and shot Gee a confused look.
‘I’m sorry Gintaras, you’re not really my type,’ Charles said, a smirk on his face.
‘No fucker,’ Gee said. ‘Why not ask if me and Ali are couple?’
‘My apologies again, I just thought there was a bit of an age gap.’
Gee finished another bottle. ‘Okay.’
Seems it’s very easy to resolve things with Gee.
Just as I finished my fourth bottle, Charles stood up and wished us a goodnight, telling us to enjoy the rest of the evening. I looked around for Elliot, finding him sat with another group on the other side of the pub. There was no sign of his partner Martin.
Without asking me, Gee ordered two more bottles from Amy, the barmaid.
Jesus fucking Christ, I’m feeling shitfaced already.
Suppose I better converse with the giant Lithuanian to try and slow him down.
‘I went to watch England versus Lithuania, a few years ago now.’
‘What sport?’ Gee asked.
‘Football, what else?’
‘I am not fan of football. In Lithuania basketball is popular sport. I play when younger.’
‘For a team?’
Gee shrugged. ‘No.’
Okay, exhausted that line of conversation then.
‘Where were you living before you got to Austin?’ I asked.
‘I live in Las Vegas.’
‘I’ve been there a few times, can’t imagine living there.’
‘We not live in centre, with all lights and craziness,’ he said, waving his arms around in the air, almost flamboyantly. ‘More to Las Vegas than casinos.’
‘Oh right, what did you do again? Was it a janitor or something?’
‘I only do it first time in Las Vegas.’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked.
‘You ask if I do again. I never do janitor job before. First time was in Las Vegas, at three apartment complexes I work.’
What the fuck is he talking about?
‘Sorry Gee, I’ve got no idea what you’re on about.’
