I let the wine ease my conflicted mind. Refusing to let this Davis thing ruin my night. I have a wonderful man, who told me he loves me. Someone who’s genuine and kind, and adores me. I’m incredibly blessed and feel guilty for letting doubt enter my mind. So what I’ve had to watch Davis and Ms. Perfect dance and cut up together all night.
“Taking a breather?” Ashley asks as she and Santos return to the table.
“Yep, I had to give my poor feet a rest.”
“I have a pair of flats in the car if you want to borrow them.”
“Ashley, you may be the smartest woman I’ve ever met and I love you!”
“Ut-oh! Someone’s a little tipsy.”
“Nah, I’m good. Just enjoying the night.” She cocks a knowing eye. “Ok, maybe a smidge tipsy,” I admit, motioning a smidge with my fingers.
“Where are they at, Ash? I’ll run and get them,” Max says.
“They’re in a bright purple gym bag, lying right on top. You won’t miss them.”
“Thank you,” I say, and truly mean it. “You’re a good man.” Kissing him as he leaves.
He’s barely out the door when the DJ makes the “twenty minutes to midnight” announcement and shifts the music to a slow song. Couples who’ve been sitting, file gracefully to the dance floor. As I sit at the empty table alone, watching. Trying to act casual but feel like a dumbass.
“Angel Eyes” by The Jeff Healey Band, fills the room, bringing a sudden calm to the rambunctious crowd. A sea of dark blue uniforms sways in perfect time to the song.
Davis is out there with little Ms. Perfect. His tall stature towering over the crowd. I shouldn’t look. It's not right and borderline creepy. I fidget with a hangnail on my finger, trying desperately to keep my eyes off the dancefloor. But a few of the guys begin to sing loudly and it grabs my attention. I look up and my eyes lock with Davis’s. Memories we’ve shared these last six months flash through my brain like still photographs. We stare at each other as the words of the love song echoes through the room. Cherish grabs his face and pulls him to her. They kiss. A long, passionate kiss that causes pain deep inside my soul.
My chest goes heavy as I’m no longer able to deny what my heart already knows.
I can’t sit here pretending everything’s ok. It’s not right. Tears begin to pool, as I jump up and dash towards the door, stumbling a little on my dress as I go.
“Kate!” Max shouts across the lobby. “Come over here! I’ve got someone who wants to meet you!”
Dammit! I scream in my head, trying to quickly pull myself together for another unwanted introduction.
“Remember this guy?”
My eyes widen as mean, Sgt. Jackass turns around and flashes a huge smile. This can’t be happening right now!
“Sgt. Brently, this is Kate. You two have already met once,” Max chuckles out, trying to be funny, even though I’m completely mortified and I’m sure it shows.
“I’ve been wanting to apologize to you ladies for months.” Extending his hand out. “I’m so sorry if I scared you and your friend.”
He’s still intimidating, but I muster the courage to shake his hand. “It’s ok," I say, with a nervous, shy, smile.
“See! I told you he wasn’t the big bad ogre you thought he was,” Max tease, adding to my humiliation.
“We better get back inside,” Sgt. Jackass says. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Oh crap! You’re right!” Max says, looking at his watch. “You ready?”
“Mind if I borrow you for a second, first?” Gesturing for him to stay.
“Sure. Everything, ok?” he asks, handing me Ashley’s shoes.
“I’m sorry to keep you from the party. I had a couple of things I need to say and it can’t wait.”
“O…K,” he draws, straight-faced.
“Tonight. When you told me you love me…” I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. “Those were words I’ve spent the last six months praying I would hear from you. Praying we’d one day have the opportunity at something wonderful.”
“And we’ve finally been given a chance,” he says.
“Yes. I know. The problem is...during those months I was pining away for you. Thinking we’d never be together. Someone else was there lifting me out of my own personal hell. Making things better again. Allowing me to simply feel normal again.”
He shakes his head and scowls. “Let me guess… Davis?”
His hands ball into fists. “Please don’t get angry!” I plead. “Davis has done nothing wrong. He hasn’t said one inappropriate thing the entire time we’ve been back together. This is all me.”
“I find that hard to believe,” he snips.
“If I’m being truthful, Max. He’s been my rock these last six months, by my side through everything.”
“Don’t be so naive, Kate. All he’s done is cause trouble between us. And please don’t flatter yourself into thinking it was because of you. It wasn’t! This whole time, all these damn problems he’s caused… they were because of me. His weird sick competitive side. He always has to win.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. But I don’t believe it. Davis is a good man and more loyal than any of us give him credit for.”
“He doesn’t care about you. Hell, he’s already moved on to another victim. You were nothing more than a chess piece in his sick little game!”
“Maybe so,” I admit as tears stream down my cheeks. “Maybe it’s inevitable for me to fall for unattainable men.”
“That’s not true! You had me, heart, body, and soul!”
“Really, Max? Do I?” I say defensively. “Tell me. How the hell can I truly have someone’s heart, body, and soul...when they’re STILL married!?”
“That’s not fair, Kate! You know I’ve been busting my ass to get everything finalized!”
“You’re right. You have. But it doesn’t change the fact I’m dating… A…. Married… Man!”
I’m irritated now. Frustration and booze causing bitterness. “Besides, I’ve been so busy trying to be perfect in your eyes, I’ve hidden most of the real me. I hate motorcycles! Terrified of them!” I turn my shoulder towards him.
“This scar is from a wreck I had on one and was too afraid to tell you. Because you love them and I didn’t want to let you down. And I hate wearing heels! They’re the most uncomfortable things ever invented. Oh… and I smoke! I’d smoke a pack a day if Lana would let me!”
The countdown to New Year’s begins behind us and I pause. Ten, Nine, Eight…
The interruption gives us both time to let go of the anger.
My voice calms. “I’ve fought so hard for us this whole time because truthfully, I thought it was meant to be. That the stars had somehow aligned perfectly that hot summer night, just so we could meet.”
Three… Two… One…
“I thought it was fate that brought us together.”
“Auld Lang Syne” begins to play as balloons cascade over the crowd in the distance. “It was fate. But not for the reason I thought.”
He shakes his head. “So it’s over. Just like that?”
“I don’t know if I’m a chess piece in one of Davis’s little games.
But it’s not right to either one of us to continue pursuing this. Especially knowing my heart belongs to someone else.”
There’s nothing more to say. He’s angry, but I believe deep down he knew something was missing. We wrap our arms around one another for one last long embrace. We’re saddened things have to end like this, but both relieved to not walk away enemies.
He walks back into the ballroom as I watch my friends laugh and sway back and forth to the New Year’s song, adorning 1995 crowns and blowing party horns. I don’t have the heart to interrupt their happy moment.
I’m thankful for the taxi’s lined outside the community center. Allowing me to slip out gracefully, without ruining everyone’s night over my complicated love life. I have the driver drop me off in front of Ashley’s apartment and send one more pr
ayer above that the door will be unlocked.
“Thank you, Lord!” I shout as the door swings open.
With some effort, I finagle out of my dress. Leaving it in a crumpled pile on the bathroom floor. I wipe mascara from under my eyes and pull the rhinestone headband from my hair. Staring at my reflection, I pray I’ve made the right decision.
There’s a pack of cigarettes hid in my purse and I’ve never needed one so badly in my life. I throw on a pair of sweats and grab a beer from the fridge. Taking up residence on the stairwell of the apartment breezeway. It’s cold, but the crisp air feels good against my cheeks.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I take the last drag of my cigarette as the limo pulls up and prepare myself for the million questions I know are coming.
“Max told us what happened,” Lana says, sitting beside me.
“Did he tell you I’m in love with Davis?”
“Nope. He left that part out. But I already knew.”
“You did?”
“Kate, you’ve been my best friend since we were kids. I know you like the back of my hand. Of course, I knew. But I also knew you needed to figure it out on your own. Davis may be the world’s biggest pain in the ass, but he has a heart of gold. And no matter what, he always put you first. Even when you weren’t looking. ”
I let her words sink in. God, I hate it when she’s right.
“When did you become so wise?”
She wraps her arm around me. “Well, when you have the world’s greatest best friend, you pick up a thing or two.”
I lay my head against hers. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, brushing off her butt as she stands. “Davis is kinda like the prickly guy you’re always going on and on about.”
“Huh?”
She waves her hands. “You know...the one from that book, the Darcy guy.”
“Well, I blew it! I had months to tell him how I felt and now it’s too late.
He’s with little Ms. Perfect and seems genuinely happy.”
“He cares about you deeply. Maybe if you tell him how you feel…”
“Nope. No way! Can’t do it! I physically can’t take any more heartache.”
“But aren’t you worried you’ll have the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s?”
I stare off and sigh. “I’m sure I will, but I can’t risk messing things up for him. It’s not right.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.”
“Then I guess it doesn’t matter he’s just pulled up.”
My head shoots to the parking lot. My stomach flipping as the car door slams.
“I need to get out of this dress,” she says as Davis walks up.
An uncomfortable silence fills the air as we watch her leave.
“Where’s Cherish?” I finally ask.
“I took her home. She has to work in the morning, so I couldn’t keep her out late.”
“Happy New Year," I say, trying not to sound as sad as I feel.
“I heard you missed it.”
“I couldn’t ring in the New Year with him, knowing it would have been a lie.”
“I’m sorry, Kate. I know it wasn’t an easy thing to do.”
“It was tough, but it needed to be done.”
“You, Ok?”
I shuffle my feet across the concrete stair. “I will be.”
There’s silence as I try to muster the courage to say everything my heart wants me to say. But my brain stops me.
“Thank you for the chocolates.”
He smiles. “You’re welcome! Did you enjoy them?”
“So much I could barely zip my dress tonight,” I admit.
“They arrived late and was worried it might not get to you in time, so I had to…”
“I blew it, didn’t I?”
“Hmm?” He cocks his head. “What do you mean?”
“Us….Me and you. I waited too long.”
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and I panic.
“Kate…”
“It’s ok, Davis,” I interrupt. “It’s... It’s my own fault.” I look away, embarrassed. “I spent months fighting feelings for you because I had convinced myself I was supposed to be with Max. That he was my destiny. All because he was the one I met on the street that night. But as the weeks and months went by, you became everything I wanted him to be. I was broken. A version of myself I didn’t even recognize anymore. Yet you always saw the real me.” My voice trembles, but muster the courage to continue. “You were right the night of Halloween. Max doesn’t know me like you do. He doesn’t excite me, or challenge me, or make me feel safe and cared for like you do. And you and I had more passion in one night together than I’ve had in my entire life.”
He begins to speak, but I stop him. “Please let me get through this, so I can walk away with no regrets.”
I take a deep breath and continue. “I saw the way you looked at Cherish tonight. It was evident that you two have a spark and I will not get in the way of it. But I can’t leave here tonight without you knowing how amazing I think you are.
You would fight an entire bar in honor of a friend. Give them the shirt off your back if they were cold. You’d even go to every store in Georgia, to make sure they had balloons on their birthday. I love how you captivate any room you walk into and how your face lights up when you talk about work.
I love the gorgeous little side smirk you give when you know you’ve made someone’s day. Or when your eyebrows scrunch when you’re overthinking things. Kind of like what you’re doing now…”
He laughs and it helps release some of the seriousness of the conversation. “Bottom line, Davis… you’re an incredible man and you should be with someone equally deserving.”
He glances at his watch, then puts his hand out. “Come with me.”
“Uhhh... Ok?” I say, reluctantly.
He leads me to his car and I get in without question, even though I’m confused and dying to know where we’re going.
As we pull onto the highway, he asks, “Did I ever tell you about the night we brought your car back?”
I’m caught off guard, but go along with it. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, as you know, I was gone when you and Lana first walked into our lives. I’d met a girl from Nashville who had drug me to a country bar. So it wasn’t until later that night, I even knew you two existed. Drew was rounding the guys up to go back and beat the shit out of your boyfriend. Which I quickly volunteered to do, but not before we took a good long joyride in that sweet little Beamer,” he chuckles.
I shake my head and smile, envisioning them cruising the Strip in my dad’s car.
He continues. “I’m in the back seat and keep kicking something. I go to move it and see it’s a purse. Lana’s purse. Bored, I dig through it. Wallet, makeup, tampons, about a billion crumpled receipts. You know… normal chick shit. Then I come to a pack of pictures of a graduation party.”
The second he says it, I know which photos he’s talking about.
They were from the party Lana’s parents threw her the weekend before our trip.
“The first few were of Lana and her family. Drew had told me she was the blond, so I knew who was who. Then I flip to one of the two of you. I remember seeing you and thinking…Holy shit! This chick is hot!
You had the prettiest eyes and smile I’d ever seen. Of course, I couldn’t dare say that out loud. I believe I went more for the ‘she’s fuckable’ line. And being typical macho me, had to leave the snide bitch 1 and bitch 2 note when we left the car.”
I nudge him in the side and call him an asshole. Still curious about where the hell we’re going.
“So I knew exactly who you were when I opened the door the next day. Even with no makeup on and bumming clothes, you were just as beautiful as that picture. Unfortunately, Max had already ‘called dibs’ on you, so figured being a dick was the smartest move. Not thinking for a second we’d see y’all past that weekend. But low and behold, we did
. And as time went on, we slowly but surely became friends. I’d never been around a girl who made me laugh or who dished out as much shit as I did. I knew I liked you, but you were so hung up on Max and all his bullshit. I knew it wasn’t the time. So I buried it.”
“Then, we took our little adventure to Gatlinburg, and I got to see you in a completely different way.” He wiggles his eyebrows and gives his infamous Davis smirk. “That night was amazing and knew right then, I was in big trouble. It honestly scared the living shit out of me. Which of course is why I ran off with Jenn the next day.”
We drive across the Georgia state line into Alabama and park in the Walmart parking lot. The same one Lana and I had slept in so many months ago. He puts the car in park and turns towards me.
“Running off with Jenn didn’t change the inevitable. I knew I was in love with you. But you had been through so much, I didn’t want to put any added pressure on you. So once again, I shelved my feelings. I even tried going out with other people. After you showed up the night of my football party, I realized you needed to know.” His eyes drift to the steering wheel. “Sadly, I was three sheets to the wind and couldn’t even spell my name, none the less profess my love. So I made the decision to go to your apartment after my sister’s wedding and tell you everything.”
My head drops realizing where this is going. That was Artie’s birthday weekend. The same weekend Max and I got back together.
“You can imagine my surprise when I climbed in the car that afternoon and see Max. Who spent the next two hours telling me you two were back together and how there needed to be boundaries between us moving forward. Needless to say, that railroaded my plan.”
My lip quivers as I fight back tears. “I’m so sorry, Davis.”
“Then Halloween rolls around. I think to myself… I’m a tough guy... I got this… I’m over her. We had to be around each other at some point, right? So I might as well rip off the Band-Aid. But when I saw you wearing your costume, looking hot as hell and guys hitting on you. I… I...just,” he stammers. “I couldn’t stand it. I had never felt jealousy like that before.
Oh, you know me. I tried to be the typical Davis playboy. I tried damn hard. But deep down, I was struggling. So when Max let you leave by yourself, I fucking lost it. Even though it didn’t come out right, I knew I had to say what I did.” His gaze falls to his lap. “But you walked away.”
Love on Leave Page 26
