by Tijan
“You abandoned me earlier,” he said, his breath tickling me. “I could’ve used your backup.”
I turned my head just slightly so our eyes could meet. “You were handling it just fine. Besides, you left me in the lurch earlier than that.”
“I had work to do.”
He eyed me, daring me to bring up my parting words from our argument.
A flush worked its way up my back, my neck, and he felt it, his hand moving to the back of my neck. His thumb began rubbing in circles, which caused another tickling sensation to vibrate over my skin.
“Is your work done?”
Now he smirked. “You tell me.” He looked meaningfully over his shoulder.
I followed his gaze and gulped.
He saw the clock too.
He knew. Of course he knew.
His thumb kept rubbing. The manager returned with three servers in tow. Each held a tray overhead. The manager set up a long table just off to the side. She spread a cloth over it, and one by one, the servers put the food and drinks on that table. They were setting up a buffet, complete with a bartender who had moved to a portable bar in the corner of our space.
Brooke squealed, heading to the bar right away. “Shot, please! Give me a sex on the beach.” The bartender reached for an already opened bottle, and a guard stepped up. He’d merely looked at the bartender before the manager went over to have a word with her employee. Within a few moments, all the already opened bottles were pulled and sealed bottles took their places.
As this was happening, a guard came over and tasted some of every food on the buffet.
He was testing, and it hit me what was happening. They were making sure nothing had been tampered with.
I had fallen in love with a mob boss.
I’d forgotten for a moment.
A wave of doubt hit me, but just as quickly, it was gone. I’d gone down this path. I had tortured myself over what I was doing. I had decided.
I had chosen Kai.
Jonah said before it was all of them together—one for all. Sitting here, seeing how the people around us seemed mesmerized by Kai, I began to think about power shifts. Everything was balanced out. What would happen if Kai forced one of the illegal trades to grind to a halt in their country? What would replace it? I wasn’t naive enough to think something wouldn’t, or someone wouldn’t. Everyone wanted to make a dollar, and bad fucking people could be ingenious.
That’s why Kai kept Jonah close.
Jonah was good. Jonah was a genius, but so was Kai. The intelligence must’ve been passed on through their mother? No, Kai had said he thought the way his father had. Both his parents must’ve been highly intelligent.
“What’s wrong?”
Kai pulled me from my thoughts, leaning forward in his chair.
Jonah had joined Brooke at the bar. He shook his head as she pushed a drink toward him. The guards had moved back. The servers were gone, the manager too. In our little bubble, we had a small bit of privacy.
“I know you don’t have a hand in the drug business, but if you pushed to eradicate it, what would happen?”
He didn’t blink or pause. He didn’t even question why I was asking. “A new drug would happen. There’s always something new coming down the pipeline. New guns. New drugs. New form of sex slaves. That’s just the tip. There’s gambling. Black market for organs, for bodies, for anything you want. Credit cards. ID theft.”
“Do you control all of that?”
A beat. Two. Then, “I know enough about it.”
I gave him a rueful grin. “That’s all you’re going to tell me?”
“Why are you asking?”
I pressed a hand to my chest, as if to keep it from exploding. “I thought I could help do something. Anything. But learning about it all, I’m left with this helpless feeling of how can anything be made better when the bad is always there?”
He held my gaze. The way he paused was significant before he reached over to cup the side of my face. His thumb ran over my lips, his eyes darting to them before rising to look tenderly into my eyes, taking my breath away.
“In the world I live in, it’s hard to be good. But I will try. For you.” He tipped his head down, his forehead resting on mine. “I’ll do what I can. I promise.”
I closed my eyes, his words filling me up inside.
He wiped away a tear on my cheek.
That meant more than I could put in words.
It meant the world to me.
It meant that I could stay.
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
Brooke was drunk, dancing alone beside the table.
Jonah was also drunk. He kept giggling, resting his head on his arm braced on the table, his shoulders shaking. He would stop, stare off, and repeat.
It was past midnight now. The beer garden had closed. I was sure Kai bought out the rest of it. Most of the staff had gone by now, but the manager remained. She approached to let us know she’d kept a lone chef on in case we wanted anything from the kitchen.
Brooke’s hand shot up. “Ooh! Quesadillas! Please.”
People still walked along the wharf, but most everything closed at midnight. I looked over at bright lights moving around at the end of the pier—some kind of event. We had watched couples walk past us in formal dresses and tuxedos. Glittering gowns. Pink. Black silk. Sequins. The rich and powerful. A few looked our direction with quizzical expressions, but none came over to investigate. Heads bent together. Hands came up to cover their gossiping mouths.
Maybe they’d been wondering, while attending their extravagant event, about who had been in the beer garden. There would be rumors that it was someone famous, a celebrity, or perhaps even a government official, because that’s what they did. I remembered that from my time with my family.
There’d been whispers and rumors about my mother too.
The two girls approved to go shopping with me in the mall had proved that. They’d asked if it was true that my father caught her having a torrid love affair and she’d really died trying to run away with her lover.
It twisted me up, remembering, and it didn’t help that I could’ve sworn one of those same girls had walked past us twenty minutes ago. Her hand had been tucked in the arm of a middle-aged man. Slender. Beautiful. And hungry eyes, because she’d been one of the ones to watch us for a bit.
“Did you see him?” Kai asked.
I whipped around, wandering farther down to the very edge of the beer garden. I wasn’t even sure if I was still within its borders. I’d taken some stairs down to a sidewalk. I could still hear Brooke’s laughter in the background, mixing with music and mingling with the beat coming from the event.
I sighed. “How long have you known?”
“That your father is supposed to be attending that event or that that’s the real reason you asked Jonah to play tourist for the day?”
“Both?”
He moved to my side, but he didn’t touch me.
For some reason, I appreciated that. He let me stand on my own, not overwhelming me.
“The second the guards told me where you were going.” He slid his hand into his pocket, tipping his head back, still eying me. “It’s public knowledge that he’s supposed to be attending tonight.” Kai smirked. “If he didn’t show up, people would notice.”
People would notice regardless—I realized what he was saying. I gaped at him. “You’re going to take him tonight?”
But of course. That was why he’d come here. Not to spend time with us, his brother, his sister, but because of my father, because it was already in the plans.
It burned.
I looked away. “Jonah and Brooke have both told me how much you usually aren’t around. Tonight meant the world to them.”
“Hey.” He cupped the back of my head and turned me toward him. “Look at me.”
I turned, but I closed my eyes. I didn’t want him to see how it hurt.
This was the same Kai. An agenda. Three, four, five steps ahead, and I’d t
hought… It didn’t matter. I’d been stupid.
“Hey.” A more insistent urge from him. “Look at me.”
Fine. I did.
And my chest was held suspended.
His eyes damn near smoldered, a fierce expression in them I couldn’t place.
“You bringing my family here, me coming and spending time with them, with you, has meant the world to me.” He drew me toward him, and goddamn, I was going. I couldn’t resist. He dropped his tone, his eyes dipping to my mouth. “This is not something that would’ve happened before you. I doubt it’ll be something that happens after—after we leave here again. But never, ever think my family is not first. They’re the reason I am who I am.”
“Where would you have been if we weren’t here tonight?”
“In a hotel. Fucking you.”
I coughed. “Ah.” Some of the burn eased. Or, well, it was washed away by a scalding pot of fire instead. A whole different type of burn took its place.
He rested his forehead to mine, his hand leaving my neck to trace my bottom lip. “I’m going to send my siblings back with some men. Stay with me. See this out.”
He was inviting me into the darkness with him, but I was already there. With this one, I’d gotten there first.
I nodded, and he stepped back. He went to speak to one of his men, and after a moment, with a short nod, the guard went to do his bidding. Kai turned back toward me. He didn’t stop. He moved past me, snagging my hand. He pulled me with him, his fingers twining with mine, and we were off.
His men were ahead, some on the opposite side of the wharf, and more trailed behind us, but for the first time, they completely blended in.
A thrill went through me.
Kai pulled me ahead, but still remained in the shadows. We weren’t dressed for the event, though that didn’t seem to matter. Just as we got to the event’s main entrance, a roar went through the crowd and almost as one, they turned around to look where we’d come from.
Kai tugged me back, continuing to twist, maneuver through the crowd. I realized he was doing it on purpose. His head was down, his shoulders hunched forward. He had put on a somewhat meek air, so no one paid attention. That amazed me, given who he was, but it was working. For now.
Once we got to a better spot, almost at the very edge of the pier and tucked behind a small booth that was closed up for the night, Kai let me look back.
I did, and the world stopped.
Time stood still. Everything in me paused because walking down the middle of the pier, as if he were king of the fucking universe, was my father. On his arm, my cousin. It was an odd thing, seeing her. A smugness on her lips, her eyes gleaming and greedy as she sauntered beside him. She wore a gold, sequined gown, strapless, and her breasts were almost popping out.
It should’ve sickened me, seeing them together. She was my mother’s niece. There was no blood relation between the two, but he was my father, and she was my look-alike. Except she wasn’t. There was something in her that looked nothing like me.
And they looked like they belonged together.
She was bad, just as much as him. I didn’t know why, what she’d done, but I could tell she belonged there. On his arm seemed the perfect place for her.
I must’ve made a sound because a couple in front of us turned around, and Kai pulled me farther back.
“Can you handle this?”
I whispered through gritted teeth, “I want to murder both of them.”
A low chuckle was my reward. He smoothed a hand down my back, resting over my ass before moving around to the front of my hip. He moved my back to his chest, and I could feel his lips grazing the side of my throat. He pushed my shirt aside, nibbling on my shoulder as his hand began exploring. He ran it across to my stomach, his fingers slipping inside my pants, and I almost fell back, leaning nearly my whole weight on him. My head rested against his as he kissed me.
He moved us farther and farther back until no one could see us. We were separated from the crowd, and with a few movements, he untied the tent opening for the booth.
He pulled me in, tying one string back in place, and then he was on me.
“What are we doing?” I asked between kisses.
“Damned if I know.” His hand moved inside my pants, and I had a second’s warning before his finger was inside of me.
This was insane.
My father was outside, talking. He looked like he was about to put a show on for this crowd, and we were in here. Kai kissed down my throat, his other hand holding my ass as he pumped his hand in and out of me.
My knees buckled.
He pulled out, but only to turn me around. Moving his leg up between mine, he held me in place. His fingers moved back into me, but more gently this time, sensual. He pushed in, in, so far in, and his mouth began tasting my throat. He kissed and caressed me as he moved his fingers back out, going deliciously slowly.
I panted, my need mounting. My entire fucking body burned now. My head fell back to his shoulder and I moaned.
“Ssshhhhh.” He turned his head, his mouth catching mine.
“Is someone in there?”
I almost groaned again. Goddamn. We were going to be caught.
But then, “No, ma’am. Please move along.” A guard stood outside. Of course.
“But—”
“Move along, ma’am. Please.”
Kai’s hand swept up under my shirt, moving my bra aside and wrapping around my tit. His thumb rubbed over it. “We’re protected,” he breathed. His hand slid to the other tit, cupping me, scorching me. “You make me lose control. My God. I can’t—I should be out there, watching your father, and instead, one touch from you and I can’t—I have to have you.” His fingers picked up their pace. In. Out. In. Out. I felt him almost all the way to my stomach, and I rode him, moving my hips over his hand.
I grasped his arm, holding him still, and I moved faster. Harder.
Until a rush exploded in me.
I came quietly, but it left me boneless, and I couldn’t move. My entire body twitched from the after effects. I could barely raise my head.
A low moan slipped out, and Kai’s arms tightened around me. He pressed a kiss to my mouth, then my jaw, my chin, my neck before he just held me.
I could feel his cock under my thighs.
I reached for him, but he tensed. “No.” But he sounded reluctant. He moved me off of him, slowly. His hands lingered, running down my arms, and when I could stand, he stepped in behind to hug me. His lips found the curve between my neck and shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me.
I knew neither of us wanted to go back out there.
I wanted to stay in this tent. It felt good in here. I wanted this Kai with me at all times—loving, caring, tender. The man who could make me lose my bearings and bring me so much pleasure I almost saw fucking stars, but out there was a different Kai. He would have to be cold, detached, ruthless.
A shiver went down my spine.
That was my Kai too, but he scared me.
He sighed, nuzzling my cheek before lifting his head. “We have to go. I have to go. We have some time. You can stay in here, if you want. For a few more minutes.”
“When are you taking him?”
“Soon.”
I didn’t know how it was going to go down, and as Kai slipped out after squeezing my hand, everything in me yearned to pull him back in.
I yearned to keep him with me in this pocket of time, because when I left, there was no going back.
I’d come with the intention of hurting my father. I’d made my decision earlier. I was going to stick with it, but almost a lifetime could separate me from deciding that and now doing it. I was on the precipice. And if I failed, Kai would be there. Hell. Kai would do it anyway. He was half doing it for me; I knew that. And I wouldn’t really have to participate, but I was here.
In my old life, you had a moral decision in times like this.
If you see what’s going to happen and stand aside, you’re
just as guilty. To be innocent, you must step in, you must try to help stop it. I was not going to do that this time. So I was a part of it all.
I was guilty. It didn’t matter if I pulled the trigger or not. His blood would be on me. But there was more going on. Here I was with Kai. If I went with this, I was choosing him.
But that decision had already been made too.
Hadn’t it?
We still hadn’t finished our argument. I’d said those words to him, calling him on loving me and not knowing how to handle it. His answer had been to leave.
He left. Then I left. Then he made me climax so fucking hard I couldn’t stand afterward. So I still had some things to sort out.
Grabbing a chair, I sank down onto it.
That’s when I heard him. My father’s voice from outside.
He was laughing, boasting. It was funny how it hadn’t changed, even since I was twelve. That sound still made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He made my stomach roll over in disgust just as he always had.
When I’d heard him bark orders in the house. When something made him furious at a meal—if there wasn’t enough salt or he suddenly decided we needed ketchup even though he’d banned it, saying it was “beneath his palate.” The way he’d sounded when he had colleagues over, how he spoke to my mother in a way that forced her to be nice, be polite, and not say a damn word. She’d better fucking smile or she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day.
From his beating.
His laugh rolled over me, and I felt nausea moving up my throat. It was the same laugh he’d used when I’d heard him bring a woman to the house. He’d taken her to the basement, and I knew there were others. My mom knew too.
I’d been nine, but I knew what he was doing with her.
My mom.
I hadn’t seen her in so long. It was three years ago that I saw her for the States’ Thanksgiving Day. It was one holiday we both enjoyed, and that day was special to me. She had met someone a year after leaving my father. It’d seemed quick to me, because that’s when I’d left too, but I had no place for any emotions other than happiness that we were both alive. Safe.
She had someone who loved her, protected her, and while he didn’t know about her past, I also knew what else she was trying to tell me.
