Damn, she had an excellent poker face. He couldn’t tell if she was teasing or if she was truly jealous of the other women he’d been with. They’d talked about this before; she’d been with other guys as well. Not something he wanted to be reminded of either.
“The female population in general.” He had the clasps together and moved his hands softly down her back and rested them on her hips.
Carter rubbed his nose against hers before settling his lips on her mouth. “Yours is the only bra I want to wrangle with, Hailey.”
Three weeks ago, he sort of dropped the L word. They hadn’t talked about it since. Not once. It wasn’t a conversation he usually had with a woman. Not a word he tossed around casually. It didn’t scare him. He didn’t doubt his love for Hailey, but he did doubt her love for him. Or mostly, her love for herself.
He trailed his hands up her sides and settled them on either side of her neck. Tilting her head up so she could see into his eyes, he laid his heart on the line. If he thought about it too long, he’d lose the courage. Not that it took courage. He felt the love all the way to his bones.
She needed to know.
“I love you, Hailey.” There. He said it. His heart raced as he watched her response. She blinked rapidly, bit her lip, then looked away. Not good. He didn’t want to force her into saying it back, so he dropped his hands and moved away. “It’s okay. Really. I’ll go restart the grill.”
His heart hammered in his chest as he lit the flame and watched the fire dance under the grates. He heard the screen door open behind him, and a moment later felt her hand on his back.
“Can we talk?”
“Always.” He set the lighter down and turned, forcing a relaxed smile on his face.
“I got a job offer.”
“That’s great.” Only her sad eyes told him it wasn’t.
She picked up one of his hands in hers and played with his fingers. “Have you heard of Moving Hearts?”
“No. It sounds nice.”
“They’re a nonprofit company.”
“And they asked you to photograph an event?”
“Sort of.” She threaded their fingers and traced his knuckles with her free hand, still avoiding eye contact. “They organize events, mostly road races, for nonprofits pairing them up with vendors, photographers, catering companies.”
“Wow. So, you’ll be doing more than one event for them?” His heart tugged in pride for her. This was what she wanted, to work with kids and adults with disabilities, those who may not look perfectly perfect according to media standards.
“They loved my portfolio. The picture of the little girl with the ice cream was the real selling point. That and my essay. I have you to thank for encouraging me to follow my heart.”
“Well, then you’re very welcome. You can repay me in bed after dinner. Or on the kitchen table again.” He drew her near with playful banter, even though he sensed there was something more going on. With his free hand, he traced his knuckles along her jawline then tangled his fingers through her hair.
Hailey slipped her hands from his and placed them on his chest. “There’s one thing.” Finally, she tilted her head and looked him in the eyes, the sadness overpowering. “I’ll be relocating to New York and traveling. A lot.”
Like a kick in the chest, he felt all the air rush out of his body. His hands dropped to his sides like lead weight. The heat from the grill behind him didn’t burn nearly as much as the grief in his gut. He’d only had Hailey in his life for a short time, and now she was leaving him? God must have serious contempt for all Carter’s past sins. It wasn’t like he was a terrible person, so why the cruel punishment of taking away the love of his life?
“When ... when do you leave?” His hands hung limply by his side.
She curled her fingers into his shirt and stood on her toes. “In a few weeks.” She kissed him lightly on the lips. “I have weddings booked for most of the summer, so I’ll be coming back to Maine for those. And there’s the wine event in the Finger Lakes Region in New York. They’re being very accommodating to my schedule. By this fall I’ll be full time with them.”
“Wow. Okay.” He swallowed, stalling for time, thinking of what he could say so he wouldn’t come across as a total asshole. “I’m proud of you, Hailey. They’re fortunate to have found you.”
“I have you to thank, Carter. I never would have seen this calling if you hadn’t planted the seed. It’s like how the military showed you your gift with graphic design.”
Sure. Maybe. But the military wasn’t for him. Was she saying he wasn’t for her? That he was just the tool to guide her to her calling?
“Well,” he stepped away and added a lightness to his tone, “I’m glad to have been at your service.”
“Carter.” She grabbed onto his biceps, tears glistening in her eyes. “I love you too.”
Those four words were all he needed to hear to make it all better. He swooped in and wrapped his arms around her, holding on tight, never wanting to let go. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on top of her head while her hair soaked up the tears that spilled from his eyes.
HAILEY HELD ON TO CARTER as if he were a lifeline, which he was. He’d told her he loved her—again, and she hadn’t responded. Never had she seen him look so ... crushed. But she couldn’t tell him how much she loved him and then drop the ball that she was moving away. It wouldn’t have been fair.
Not that this way was either. Dropping the bomb and then lessening the pain with her declaration seemed the better approach. Again, not that she’d thoroughly thought this through. When Joe Morten called her four days ago, she hadn’t been prepared for the impromptu interview.
She’d sent her resume to a handful of nonprofit organizations, and couldn’t remember where Moving Hearts was based out of. There were two in Boston, one in Chicago, another in New York, and three in Los Angeles.
Mr. Morten had asked her to send him a portfolio, and the following day she’d received another call from him, and an email detailing the contract. Moving Hearts had amended it when she told them about the events she’d already contracted out.
It had helped not seeing Carter during those days. She wouldn’t have been able to hide the turmoil in her chest. While she knew her stay in Maine wasn’t permanent, she couldn’t remember if she’d ever told him that early on before they became ... close.
Carter tipped his head back and brushed her windblown hair off her face. “Can you tell the Eggersons you relocated already and move in with me during your last weeks?”
“Gonna miss the sex?” She squeezed her arms around his back a little tighter.
“Going to miss you.” He dropped a soft kiss on her lips.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. The sentiment. The mushy stuff. Their relationship was supposed to be based on laughter and jokes, not serious emotions.
Somehow, they made their way through dinner. Carter was uncharacteristically quiet. Not silent, but he hadn’t cracked a joke, hadn’t flirted with her, hadn’t touched her as he often did.
The usual light caresses across her hand, the sweet, quick kiss to her temple or the top of her head. None happened tonight. It was as if he was backing off from her now to make it easier later when she left. After they washed the dinner dishes together, he picked up his keys from the hook by the back door.
“Want to go for a ride?”
“In the bedroom or outside?” she teased. It worked, sort of.
A trace of a smile etched his lips. “Outside now, bedroom later.”
“Sure.”
She followed him out and stopped by his truck, but he kept going toward the garage. A trail ride was a better idea tonight. Only when she stepped into the garage, the helmet he handed her wasn’t the same one she wore when they were on the side-by-side. It was a motorcycle helmet.
“You want me to get on the back of that with you?”
“Unless you want to take it for a spin on your own.”
“Hardly. I’ve never been on a
motorcycle before.”
“Scared?” The brightness was back in his eyes.
“Maybe. A little. Are you one of those crazy show off drivers?”
Carter grinned and moved in front of her, pinching her chin lightly. He kissed her deeply, his tongue playing with hers until he had her panting and clutching at the front of his shirt. And then he pulled away. “Hold on tight, sweetheart. I’ll keep you safe.”
Hailey swallowed and licked her lips as he strapped the helmet on her head. He put on his helmet and flung his leg over the seat of the bike. Damn, that was hot. Carter’s jeans fit him snug in all the right places, and his plain white shirt gave him the cool and sexy James Dean vibe.
“You coming?” He flicked his head behind him.
“Isn’t that a loaded question.”
The heat behind his eyes burned her with lust.
She stretched her leg over the seat behind him, not looking nearly as cool as Carter, and rested her hands on his hips. He started the engine and rolled out of the garage nice and slow. When he turned out of his driveway, she clutched at his sides and then moved her hands around him, grabbing hold of the belt loops on the front of his jeans. He took the windy back roads slowly. Totally not what she expected.
They drove at grandpa Sunday driver speed. She could have loosened her grip on him, but she rather liked the heat of his back warming her front. When he came to a stop at a four-way stop sign and no cars were in sight, he rested his foot on the pavement.
“You doing okay?”
“I pegged you as a race car driver whipping around the curves of the back roads. Showing off for the ladies.”
“Hailey.” He said her name with a hint of disappointment. “You know how I like my foreplay. Nice and slow.”
Ah, so this was what it was. She lowered her hands toward his crotch and would have whispered in his ear if they weren’t wearing helmets. “And you know I like it fast and furious.”
Carter cursed and revved the engine. She thought he’d take off at lightning speed, but he kept the bike moving smooth and steady, and then he turned toward the ocean. He parked the bike at a popular tourist spot near Camden.
With the Fourth of July only a few days away, the place would soon be busy with tourists, but for now, they had the view to themselves. The night air was cooler along the coast, and she wished she’d brought a sweatshirt.
Carter turned off the bike, and in one quick move got up and sat backward so they were facing each other. “You okay?” he asked while he unbuckled her helmet, resting it on one of the handlebars, then did the same with his.
“Totally not what I expected.” She ran her hands through his hair, fluffing where the helmet had crushed it. Carter did the same to hers, running his fingers through her hair, only they got caught in all the tangles. “I can only imagine what my hair looks like.”
“Like after we make love.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her.
He tasted like chocolate and cherries from the sundae they shared. This was Carter. Sweet, unpredictable, and not as bad ass as he liked everyone to think. His hands moved to her thighs and held firmly there as she slid up the seat, bumping her knees into his.
Hailey broke away from the kiss for a moment and repositioned herself, lifting her legs up over his and scooted closer to him. “Much better.” She settled into their kiss again, her arms around his shoulders as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck.
The ocean breeze chilled the air around them while Carter’s body radiated enough heat to keep them both warm. “This is pretty hot, you know. You on a bike looking all James Dean.”
“James Dean, huh?” Carter tugged her closer, and she wrapped her thighs around his waist. “So who does that make you?”
“I don’t know any of the women he was linked to.”
“And men.”
“James Dean was gay?”
“He was. I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m one hundred and ten percent interested in wom—you.”
“Nice save.” She tugged at his earlobe.
“What am I going to do when you leave me, Hailey?” he asked with a sigh before kissing her again.
With their lips locked and their tongues intertwined, she was saved from responding. At the sound of a car approaching, they broke apart.
“Want to go for a quick walk before heading back?”
“Quick, huh? I thought you were all about slow and steady.”
Carter stood and helped her to her feet. “A leisurely walk and a slow ride mean we’ll both have the energy and stamina to make love all night long.”
“You’re very good at this.” She took his hand, and they strolled down the dirt path that ran parallel to the ocean.
“Making things last?”
“With the exception of the shower sex we had earlier.”
“Variety is the spice of life. I like keeping you on your toes.” He hip-checked her to the side.
“And off my toes.” Earlier, he’d picked her up and pinned her against the shower wall. Just thinking about it got her all hot and bothered again.
“You’re really leaving Maine,” he said, turning the conversation serious again.
“I had never planned on staying long. I came here as an escape and to reevaluate.”
“Is that what I am? An escape.”
“You weren’t part of my plan.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Very good, and now a complication.”
“Not sure how I feel about being a complication.”
“You’re not a complication. Being in a relationship complicates matters for me. I’m not the kind of person who can stay in one place for very long. I like traveling. I like variety.”
“It’s the spice of life,” he repeated.
“I like change. And taking pictures.”
“I’m happy for you. I really am. I’m sorry I’m being selfish about this. I really am happy for you.”
He said that three times now, that he was happy for her, and she believed him.
“If you hadn’t gotten this job, you would have left ... when?”
“I don’t know.” They slowed as they came to the end of the trail. Their options were to either climb across the rocks or turn back. “When I got tired of it.”
“Are you tired of ... it now?”
Hailey stared out over the ocean, the sun setting behind them making it hard to see far.
“I’m not running away from you, Carter. This job, the timing is perfect and terrible at the same time.” She ran her hands up his chest and rested her head against his heart. “If I stay too long, you’ll ... I’ll... This job is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”
“It’ll make you happy?”
She nodded and hugged him tighter. You make me happy. They declared their love, but talking too much about her feelings would make their relationship more real, which would only make their separation harder.
“I’m ready to head back to your place, if you’re ready.” She thrusted her hips into his crotch, feeling exactly how ready he was.
“Always in a rush.” He kissed the top of her head and draped his arm across her shoulders.
“I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”
“And I don’t hear you complaining when I take it slow.” She opened her mouth to argue, and he covered her lips with his hand. “I take that back. You complain all the time.”
“Hey.”
They laughed their way back to his bike, and she hugged him tight on the ride to his house. There were few words exchanged when she opened the fridge and took out the whipped cream. Carter followed her to his bedroom where she tortured him with dollops of whipped cream on strategic places on his body, and taking her sweet time licking them off.
And then he returned the favor.
Only not so slow.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“You promise you’re coming back?” Carter didn’t mean to sound like a whiny toddler, but
Hailey was leaving for five days and four nights, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to function without her.
“Of course, I’m coming back.” Hailey clicked a button on her suitcase, and the handle popped up.
“You have your boarding pass and everything?”
“Yes. You asked me four times already. If anything, I think you want me to go or you’d be wishing I forgot my tickets.”
“Good call. I’ll do that next time.” Because there would be a next time. And a next and a next. Her schedule for the rest of the summer consisted of traveling to New York nearly every week, and once she learned the ropes of the company, she’d be traveling all over the country. “Be safe. I love you.” He kissed her one final time.
“I love you too.” She dragged her carry-on behind her and disappeared through the revolving doors.
The Bangor airport was small and easy to access, but there was still a lineup of cars waiting to drop off friends and family. He jogged to the other side of his truck and sped off. She’d promised to call when she landed, and again when she got to her hotel.
Carter wasn’t a total redneck. He’d been to Boston and New York with friends, but city life wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. His brother detested it. A total fish out of water. Carter didn’t mind going for a fun weekend, catching a game, touring the bars and restaurant scene, but it wasn’t the daily life he wanted.
Hailey had never mentioned which city she liked best, or even which state, just that she liked to travel and didn’t like staying in one place for too long. The simple life in Maine would bore her to death, and the rush of the city would get on Carter’s nerves.
Brady and Grace went through a similar rough patch with her hating Crystal Cove, but eventually she learned to love it. His brother hadn’t confided in him too much, but Carter could read between the lines. Grace sacrificed her dream for Brady, and she seemed like she’d adapted well. From the grumblings Alexis did about her sister over the years, and getting to know Grace better, Carter put two and two together and figured it wasn’t Crystal Cove that was the problem. She was a wild child and needed to figure herself out.
All of You (A Well Paired Novel Book 7) Page 20
