by Jay T
Yeah, with what money am I going to see a doctor?
“Will you just help me wrap it?” I put my hands on both sides of the bathroom sink and hold on. I know this is going to hurt.
He picks up the bandage and puts his arms around me, grabs ahold of the bandage and starts to wrap. I let out a huge, uncomfortable grunt as he pulls it tight to keep my ribs in place. “I’m sorry you got hurt tonight, and don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m actually pretty happy it was you who got hit and not that kid down there.”
I nod. “I’m glad I went. I almost didn’t.”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I never thought to ask how things were at home. That’s my bad.”
I meet his eyes in the mirror. “It’s fine. This is the first time I’ve seen him be physical. I would’ve done a better job at making sure the rest of the kids were out of the house had I known how bad he could get.” I look down at my wrapped ribs.
He nods. “You guys aren’t going back now are you?”
“Pff, he doesn’t scare me. Chicken-shit little bastard thinks he’s such a tough guy to beat up on women and little kids.” I shake my head, “Nah, he’s going to learn some manners.”
Robert raises an eyebrow. “Need backup?”
I shake my head. “That won’t be necessary.”
“Don’t go without me.” He slaps me on the back and says, “Night, dude.”
Bastard. I grimace for the millionth time. I make my way back downstairs and fall asleep on the floor next to Ethan.
26 eva
I’m at school walking down a crowded hallway. People are bumping into me like I’m invisible. One girl stops in front of me and I try to go around her but she won’t let me. I look up and she smiles. Her teeth are yellow like they haven’t been brushed in a year. “You’re going to hell when you die,” she says.
I gasp and wake up covered in sweat. I sit up and try to wipe the images from my eyes with my hands. I look at the clock, 6:12 a.m. Not really enough time for a good run, but hopefully just enough to clear my mind. If I hurry, I can get 20 minutes in. I get dressed and pull my pink running shoes from the closet and make my way to the treadmill in the garage. I stuff my ear buds in and turn my music all the way up. I run and run letting the emotions pass through me. The sadness of my missing family, the rejection from Evan, and the confusion from it all, the fright from my dreams and what it all means, and finally, the fight I had with hell over the rights to my soul. I found my light, I found my fire, and I know I’m going to be fine. The alarm on my phone finally rings and I turn off the treadmill and head for the shower to get ready for the day.
There’s a text message on my phone
Amy: Brent is pkng me up this am. Ill see u at skll.
I sigh and send a quick response.
Me: K no prb. See u there.
I have a brief moment of hesitation in the parking lot as I remember my dream from the morning. I take a deep breath and push it down. I’m fine. It’s just the darkness.
I walk inside right to my locker. I expect to see Evan with the guys, but he’s not here. Amy isn’t there either.
“Good morning, Eva,” Ryan says.
“Morning. Where is everyone?”
Ryan shrugs. “I’m sure they’ll be here in a few minutes.”
The bell rings. I close my locker and walk to my first class. Evan isn’t there yet. The last bell rings as I take my seat. I set my bookbag on the floor and lean down to get my books out when a coffee cup lands on my desk. My stomach flips and I have to suppress a smile. I look up and only see Evan’s back as he makes his way to the front of the classroom. He chooses to sit farther away than yesterday even though the seat he sat in yesterday is open. Weird. I finish getting out my books as the teacher begins to talk.
I look at Evan and from where I’m sitting, it looks like there’s a shadow on his face. He’s ridged and his face is like stone. What’s going on?
“This essay should be about three pages long, talking about what you did over summer break. I want it typed and turned in by tomorrow. You should all be very good at essays at this point so I shouldn’t have to tell you how to properly structure it. Eva, how many pages should this essay be?”
“Three,” I reply.
“Evan, when is this due?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Alright, get to work then. If you focus, you can have it done and turned in before you leave class.”
I turn on my laptop and take a drink of the coffee. Vanilla. I make a face as I hear a chuckle from the front of the room. Evan has turned to look at me and grabs hold of his side. There’s a huge bruise on the left side of his jaw. He was in a fight. What is going on with him?
I try to focus on the task at hand but my eyes keep wandering to Evan. Today, he isn’t sneaking peeks at me. He’s trying to get his work done.
The bell finally rings after what feels like an eternity. I close my laptop and quickly shove it in my bookbag, trying to catch Evan on the way out.
“Evan, can you stay behind for a moment?” the teacher asks.
I wait outside the door but Evan doesn’t come out. He’s talking to the teacher about something. I’m going to be late for my next class if I don’t get moving. I give up waiting for him and head upstairs to my locker. I finally see Amy.
“Good morning,” I say. “How was your ride in this morning?”
“Oh good,” she says.
I feel like she’s holding back. “What did Brent want to talk to you about?” I ask.
Amy bites her lower lip and lets out a sigh. “Brent wanted me to downplay something to you but honestly, he needs to see a doctor.”
My heart rate picks up. “Evan?”
Amy nods.
“What happened?”
“His foster dad hit him with a chair. He’s got a few broken ribs at least.”
My stomach drops as I look at the coffee cup in my hands. Am I still so self-absorbed that I can’t figure out when other people are hurting? What is he going through?
“Why did Brent feel he needed to tell you to downplay it?”
She gives me a look that says, you should know, but doesn’t respond.
The hallway is emptying out and I look at my phone to check the time. I have seconds to make it to class before the bell rings.
“We gotta go,” I grab Amy’s hand and pull her along to our next class. I can hardly focus because my mind keeps going to Evan.
27 evan
I slept on the floor so Ethan could have the couch.
Oh for the love of god, I think I might die. My ribs hurt so bad. I try to turn to get up off the floor but I can’t. I look over to see Ethan sleeping right next to me, his spot on the couch is empty. Whatever pain I’m feeling, I’m happy to take it on myself. I’m glad I got there when I did. I couldn’t imagine someone hurting this sweet little kid. I would ruffle his hair if I thought I could move my arms. I lie there waiting for someone else to wake up and help me stand up.
What feels like an eternity later, Brent finally emerges from the room upstairs.
Oh thank god. “Brent,” I whisper loudly, “help me up.”
He comes down the stairs and leans over to grab ahold of my hand and pulls me to my feet. My breath gets stuck in my ribs and I gasp trying to get a breathe.
“Dude, Anny.”
I hold up a hand, I can’t talk to him right now. I finally catch my breath and inhale shallowly. “Just hurt, I’m fine now, thanks.”
“Why did you let him do this to you, man?”
“He just caught me off guard.”
“Did you at least hit him back?”
Psh, did I hit him back. “What do you think?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “You kind of let Robert go all crazy on your ass that one time.”
“This was different,” I say. “Ihit him back. Once.”
Brent chuckles, “Once is all it took, huh?”
“You know it,” I cringe. “Is there some Advil around
here?”
“Yeah, it’s above the fridge. I’ll grab it.”
“Thanks.” I look at the clock. 5:48 am. The hairs on my arms stand up and my heart begins to race. I grab ahold of the kitchen counter and close my eyes. Eva.
“You alright, man? You look pretty white.”
I open my mouth to answer but I feel like I’ve just punched in the gut. I take a few more breaths. I don’t let him see my eyes. “Yeah, totally fine,” I lie. I abandon the Advil and head outside for some fresh air while I wait for Eva to pull out of her nightmare. Time keeps ticking. It’s after 6 before I finally feel relief.
I go back inside to find Robert and Brent talking and drinking their coffee. “Hey, can you guys, I don’t know, make sure Eva doesn’t get concerned about this?” I point at my side. “She has enough going on this morning.” They both give me a strange look. “Just trust me,” I say.
“Yeah, we’ll figure it out,” Brent says pulling out his phone.
“You think she’s going to worry about you?” Robert asks. “Why?”
I don’t answer that. Maybe she won’t care, but better safe than sorry. I don’t want to hurt her.
“So, you guys know each other well enough for her to see a bruise and get really worried? You wanna explain to us how that is?”
“I don’t want to, no,” I say. “I’m going to get in the shower.”
“And we are left with more questions than answers yet again.” Robert rolls his eyes and pours himself another cup of coffee.
I’m going to need to tell them something at some point. They’re going to reject me if I don’t do it soon.
I unwrap my chest and look at myself in the mirror. My side looks like a dark rainbow with every color represented. My mind wanders to Eva. I wonder how her morning is going. What is she doing right now?
I shower, try my best to re-wrap my chest, get dressed, and make my way back down stairs where Ethan is sitting with Brent on the couch watching Spongebob.
I make my way over to them. “Hey, little bud. Did you have school yesterday?” Ethan shakes his head no.
“Can’t I stay with you?” he asks.
“No, you have to go to school,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
He pouts for a moment but Robert joins us. “But you could come over to my house before school. My mom makes really good pancakes.”
Ethan nods his head yes.
“She even sometimes puts whipped cream on them.” Ethan’s eyes light up. “Do you like whip cream?” Robert asks.
He nods his head yes.
“Do you want to come meet her?”
Ethan shrugs but reluctantly agrees.
“Let’s get your shoes on then.”
Ethan runs upstairs and grabs his toothbrush before coming back down and putting on his shoes. One of the laces has come undone and he tries to tie it, but he doesn’t seem to know how.
“Can I help?” I ask. He nods. I carefully take a knee in front of him and bend as much as I can, but I feel like I’m being stabbed in the lungs. When I catch my breath I say, “Like this; you take a lace in each hand, cross them, and tuck one under and pull tight.” I look up at him to see him watching closely. “Then you make an ear with one side and wrap the other around and tuck it under, then pull tight.” He nods and turns to go to the car.
I follow Robert back to his house where he introduces me to his mom. She’s doing the dishes when we come in.
“Hey, mom!” he yells from the door.
“Hey, honey,” she says without turning around. I take my shoes off and look around. It’s a nice home, one where when you walk in and it feels like home. You can tell there’s love in here.
“Mom, this is Anny,” Robert says. She was putting a plate in the dishwasher and stopped when Robert said my name. She turns to look at me.
She smiles, “Anny?”
I give Robert a sideways glance and hold my hand out for his mom. “My name is Evan, ma’am.”
She puts the plate in the sink, ignores my hand, and pulls me in for a tight hug as she says, “Oh, thank you so much for saving my boy!”
I groan in pain.
“Oh my goodness, what’s wrong?”
I grab my sore ribs and she pulls back and grabs ahold of my chin to look at my face. She at Robert.
“There was some trouble at his home last night, mom,” Robert says. “This is Ethan,” he says trying to coax the little boy out from behind me. “Ethan really loves pancakes with whipped cream.”
Robert’s mom turns the little boy. “I make excellent pancakes,” she says. “Would you like to help me?” She holds her hand out for him to take. Ethan looks up to me first and I nod. He takes her hand and they go to the pantry together. She starts talking to him about all the ingredients they’ll need.
“We’re going to go outside and talk,” Robert says to his mother. “We’ll be right back.”
“Of course, of course, we’ll be good here, right Ethan?” his mom says.
Ethan nods slowly and smiles before running over and hugging me tightly.
“I’ll be back.” He nods again. “See you soon.” I ruffle his hair before thanking Robert’s mom again.
Amy makes her way down the stairs and smiles when she see’s Brent. “You’re early.”
“I heard your mom was making pancakes.”
Brent meets her at the bottom of the stairs and wraps her in his arms and plants a kiss on her. I look at Robert’s mom but she’s not paying attention to the couple.
I close the door behind me and Robert takes a seat on the stairs. I step down and stand in front of him.
“This is what I know about you,” he days. I brace for what’s coming. He continues, “You show up in the middle of the highway with no memories except that we were in an accident. You tell my dad and he calls for help and you helped save some of us by doing that. You claim you don’t know anything other than that. In the hospital, you have crazy purple eyes, like very strange.” He pauses before continuing. “You turn out to be a pretty cool friend. You fit in. You’re really good at music so we start a band. We have a few gigs but our first Anchorage gig, your eyes on the video go purple again and you emit some sort of wave.” He’s talking with his hands now. “Then you take off, taking Brent’s truck, and you haul ass to god knows where. But you’re at the cabin when we get home and act like everything is normal. You play off the YouTube video like someone edited it. But who else would know to make your eyes purple?” He waits for a moment. When I don’t respond, he continues. “I find out later that you saved Amy from drowning in the lake and Eva was in the hospital again. So, I think to myself, he can’t be a bad guy if he keeps helping us. Right?” He pauses. I just look at him.
“I don’t know why Eva was in the hospital. Nobody will say. Is she pregnant?” he asks.
“What? No!”
“How would I know? I haven’t seen Eva since the avalanche and the first time I do, she walks into our gig at the restaurant, your eyes go crazy, she takes off, and you go chasing her down and she ends up in the hospital. Something isn’t adding up. Did you hurt her?”
“I did not,” I say definitively.
“Then what happened? Because from where I’m sitting, I have every right to be protective over her.”
Crap. I have no idea how to explain this.
“Did you hurt my sister?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“She has a scar on her leg. Did you know that? It wasn’t there until she almost drowned in the lake.”
“No, I didn’t know about the scar.”
“But you know why Eva was hospitalized and why my sister almost drowned?”
I swallow. “Yes.”
“Then please enlighten me before I beat your ass again.”
“I don’t know how to tell you what you want to hear, Robert,” I say.
“Anything will do at this point.”
“I can’t give you what you want.” I can’t tell him everything without facing more wrath. But maybe
I can show him? I reach up and pull out my right contact, then my left, then look up to meet Robert’s eyes.
He’s silent. He looks confused, but not angry.
“I love Eva. I would never hurt her or betray her. I would never hurt Amy. I have always only tried to look out for all of you. Eva has been battling something big since this all started. I came to be with her, to help her.” I talk slowly so every word sinks in.
Robert is still silent. No doubt the wheels in his head are turning a mile a minute.
The front door opens and Brent sticks his head out. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute,” Robert answers, not breaking eye contact with me. I look at Brent who sees my eyes and his own get big before he closes the door again leaving us alone.
“So, they weren’t contacts at the hospital?”
I don’t answer. I flick them on the ground.
There’s a heavy silence between us before I sigh and try to explain without explaining. “After Eva’s family’s accident, your parents would argue at night in the garage when they thought you guys were asleep. They fought about letting you guys drive. Your mom didn’t want you to and your dad said she was over reacting because of one accident. You would listen from the stairs and fiddle with a coin you got from your grandpa before he passed away. It’s a dollar you always keep it with you. Amy was listening from her room.”
Robert turns white but doesn’t stop staring at me.
“I cannot answer every question you have. I just need you to know that Eva is safe with me.”
“What about my sister?”
“I pulled her from the lake. I didn’t give her that scar,” I say.
“What did?” he asks.
I can’t answer that. So, I just look at him and reiterate, “I will always try my best to keep all of you safe.”
“You keep saying ‘safe’. Is there something I should be concerned about?” he asks.
I answer as honestly as I can. “I don’t think so. Not anymore.”
“What happened this morning in the kitchen? You were there but not really.”
“Eva.”
“What about her?”
