by Dawn Sister
“I want to spend time with you, Liam. I can take time off, I’m entitled.” Jack assured him. “What did you have in mind?”
Liam relaxed. He’d take what he could, because he wanted this man to stick around a little longer, even if it may only be for another day.
“It’s such a lovely day, I thought we could take a walk in the hills. There’s a lake, not far from here, over in the next valley in fact. It freezes over sometimes. I love going to see the patterns in the ice, and to skim stones over it. I’ve even skated on there, when the weather was really cold.”
“I know where you mean.” Jack grinned, jumping up. “Let’s do it.”
****
Frosty Lakes
Liam was caught up in and amused by Jack’s frustrated impatience as he waited for Liam to put on his walking boots, hat, gloves and coat.
Liam had offered to give Jack a lift to his place to fetch some suitable footwear, but the man had declined.
With a shrug, Liam had to accept that this man was going to walk, on frozen, stony ground, in his bare feet. He tried to suggest a change of plan, but Jack would have none of it, so they set off, one in sturdy, thick soled walking boots, one in bare feet.
Jack had compromised somewhat, and allowed Liam to lend him a warm coat, scarf and hat, all of which swamped him, and caused him to pout, which made Liam laugh, and want the man more than ever. He was beginning to regret the suggestion of a walk, because he very much wanted to pull those clothes off Jack and take him back to bed.
Jack must have seen something in his expression, because his pout turned into a smirk and he pulled Liam down into a kiss.
“Later, big feller.” He whispered, as his lips brushed over Liam’s earlobe. “We have the rest of the day, and the night.”
“You’re planning on staying tonight?” Liam asked in surprise. He had wanted to ask but had also thought it might be too much too soon.
“Only if you want me to.” Jack’s expression became suddenly uncertain, and Liam did not like that one little bit.
He pulled Jack close. “I do want, very much.” He told him firmly because it surely wasn’t wrong to sometimes want something for himself.
They walked hand in hand as if they had done it a thousand times. Liam found himself wondering if Jack’s intention was to stay even longer and realised that he wouldn’t mind that one little bit.
“I say I work all winter, but I can take time off.” Jack explained. “I kind of work for myself see and set my own pace and work goals. I can do a day’s work that can last for weeks.”
Liam nodded, although not really understanding because Jack was yet to tell him exactly what his job entailed. Perhaps it was something to do with computers.
“I put things on hold last night.” Jack continued. “But I rectified that today and because of that, I now have oodles of time to spend with you.”
So not computers then, because Jack hadn’t asked to use Liam’s, nor had he made any phone calls that Liam knew of. What could he have done? Perhaps he’d done it while Liam had taken a shower earlier on.
“What are you doing for Christmas?” Liam asked, on a spur of the moment, completely selfish, completely spontaneous whim. Jack had said he had oodles of time. Liam bit his lip and in a sudden rush of nerves added: “Of course, if you’ve already got plans….”
“I haven’t.” Jack responded, breathlessly. “I’m usually on my own, so I don’t really celebrate, but I can, with you, if you want.” His gaze was intense, his blue eyes focused on Liam as they walked.
Liam felt that flutter of excitement in his stomach again. He usually spent Christmas alone, except for his yearly visit to church. This year had been panning out the same way until Jack had turned up. Now it looked as if things would be a little different—a lot different, in fact.
“Seems silly for us both to spend Christmas alone. Come to mine, or I could come over to your place.”
“Your cottage is so cosy. I love it.” Jack told him, giving him a sideways glance.
“My place it is, then.” Liam chuckled, knowing he was being manipulated, just a little, and not really caring.
They walked in companionable silence for a little while until they reached the small lake. Jack’s hand felt cool in his, and their fingers linked together in a firm, reassuring bond. Liam was already beginning to realise that, with Jack, he didn’t need to fill the silence with words. Their physical contact said more than words ever could.
Despite the bright winter sun and the unusually mild weather, the lake was still frozen, the ice forming swirling patterns as if someone had drawn across the surface of the water with a magic ice-making wand.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Liam breathed.
“Yes.” Jack breathed back. “Even if I do say myself.”
Liam gave him a sharp look, then smiled as he realised Jack wasn’t even looking at the lake, he was staring at him, with those damn eyes.
Liam pulled him into a warm, snug embrace and kissed him.
“Jack.” He whispered into Jack’s hair as he held him tight. “I don’t even know what’s happening here, but I don’t think I want any of this to end.”
“Me either.” Jack’s breath hitched.
“I think it was a very lucky thing that you happened to be passing when you did, the night before last.”
“I’m the lucky one, Liam, to have found someone like you. You’re such a gentle, kind soul. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. I want to make every moment count.”
Jack’s tone was sad, as if he had more to say, but couldn’t.
Liam pulled away slightly, so he could look the man in the eye.
“What is it? What made you sad?” He asked. He thought he knew, but didn’t really want to admit it, because admitting it would make it real.
“I can’t stay with you, Liam.” Jack told him as he brushed some hair from Liam’s face, and caressed his cheek. “I have a few days, perhaps a week at the most, and then I have tae go back tae work. After that….” He looked away, across the lake, biting his lip, his eyes blinking, as if he were holding back tears. “...I don’t know.”
Liam felt his heart lurch. Could Jack really be telling him that they only had a short time together? It seemed so. Liam made a silent vow that he would do exactly as Jack had said: make every moment count.
“If that’s so, then we must enjoy every single minute that we have.” He smiled.
Jack turned back to meet his gaze, his own smile curling his lips and his eyes sparkling.
“And so we shall.” He laughed. “You said you’ve skated on this lake, Liam. Is that right? We should go skating.”
For a moment Liam didn’t know how to answer. He had skated here before, but only when the temperature had been well below freezing and he was sure that the ice was thick. Today, the sun had been shining all morning, beating down on the ice and melting it.
“But the ice will be too thin, surely, on a day like this.” He frowned.
Jack’s grin broadened, as he let go of his hold on Liam and took a step out onto the ice. He crouched down and laid a hand, palm down on the frozen surface, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them and turned his gaze on Liam, his ice crystal blue eyes seemed to reflect the swirling patterns in the ice. Their sheer beauty hit Liam with an almost physical force. He couldn’t have looked away, even if his life had depended on it.
“Feels firm enough to me, big feller. Trust me, I know what I’m talkin’ about. There’s no thin ice here today.” Jack held out his hand and Liam took it, trusting him without question.
They skidded and laughed and fell about on the ice like children, discarding their coats on the lake shore as their exertions warmed them. With every breath-taking, exhilarating moment, Liam fell harder and harder for this beautiful, yet mysterious man.
They had moved further into the middle of the lake when Liam finally came to his senses and decided that they should perhaps err on the side of caution. The lake was small,
but very deep in some parts.
“Come on, let’s stay a bit closer to the shore, eh? Ice can be thinner in the middle.” He moved away from the centre, but Jack stayed, scooting about on his bare feet as if he did this sort of thing every day, and as if the cold had absolutely no effect.
Liam watched, entranced, moving closer to the shore, until he found an overhanging branch to sit on. Jack stayed in the middle and continued to play, and that was exactly what he was doing. Liam recalled his dream the night before: the white fox doing the same thing: skidding and leaping, making patterns with its paws, with its tongue lolling out as if it had been laughing.
The two situations were so similar that Liam was momentarily confused. Jack and the dream-fox seemed to merge into one being, just as they had in the dream. Liam was lost, mesmerised by Jack’s antics.
Suddenly, a loud, echoing crack jerked him from his daze, and he jumped to his feet.
“Jack!” He called. “The ice. It’s breaking up.”
“What?” Jack shouted, looking about in alarm. “No, that’s impossible. I made sure……”
There was another ear-splitting crack, and Liam made to jump back onto the ice, needing to get to Jack and pull him to safety.
“No!” Jack shouted. His cry echoing sharply in the cold, thin, frosty air. He held up his hand to stop Liam, his voice firm and commanding. “Don’t move any closer, Liam, the ice….” His expression one of someone with a dilemma, before he looked back up at Liam. “It’s you.” He breathed, although Liam could hear him clearly. “You play havoc with my equilibrium, you do. Oh Liam, I’m so sorry. I thought we’d have longer.”
There was a moment of silence. Liam tried to work out what Jack meant. Before he could the ice gave way beneath Jack’s feet and he disappeared into the lake.
“Noooo!” Liam screamed, the word echoing in the clear, still air and scraping his throat raw. “Jack! Jesus, Jack!”
He looked about frantically for something to use instead of rope, a long branch perhaps? He found what he was looking for, and, without a second thought, flung himself, belly down, onto the ice to slip and slide to the hole left by Jack, the long branch extended in front of him.
The tip of the branch reached the hole in the ice just as Jack surfaced, spluttering and gasping.
“Grab the branch, Jack. Grab it.” Liam shouted.
Jack reached out, his fingertips barely scraping the tip of the branch.
Liam scrabbled further onto the ice, his heart pounding.
“I can get closer.” He shouted.
“No, Liam.” Jack’s voice was hoarse, as he struggled to stay above the ice, the edge of the newly formed hole crumbling every time he tried to pull himself out of the water. “S’too dangerous. Get back. I’ll be fine.”
“In what universe?” Liam gasped, feeling the cold ice freeze through his coat and sweater. “Just grab the branch, Jack.”
Jack reached for it again and failed. “I can’t.” He called, spluttering as he sank back into the water. His voice sounded weaker. Liam threw the branch to one side and pulled himself across the ice. If Jack couldn’t grab the branch, then he was going to have to grab Jack, hold on and never let go.
“I’m coming to get you.” He called, his determination and adrenaline making him stronger. He didn’t care how dangerous this was, he wasn’t going to let Jack freeze in the lake.
“No, Liam, stay there. I can do this. Don’t come any closer, please.”
“Sod this, Jack. You’ll freeze to death. I’m coming.”
“Liam, no.” Jack’s tone was desperate now.
Liam knew he had made a monumental mistake when the ice began to crack beneath his weight, but it was too late to go back. The last thing he saw before he plunged into the freezing water, was Jack’s startled, terrified blue eyes. The last thing he heard was Jack’s anguished cry.
“Liam!”
The water was cold, colder than anything Liam had ever experienced. His body’s reaction was to instinctively gasp for air, which of course, was a big mistake when all there was to breathe was ice-cold, brackish lake water.
Liam panicked, partly because he was submerged in a frozen lake and probably about to drown, but also because he’d failed to reach Jack, and that was even worse. He wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes again, and hear him say: “Hey, big feller, you play havoc with my equilibrium.”
The dark enveloped him. He had no idea which way was up. There was a light, bright and sparkling, just above his head: daylight, maybe? Stretching out his hands he tried to kick his way to the surface, but his waterlogged clothes held him down.
Something snagged his collar from behind, and he felt himself being dragged backwards. This was it. He was going to drown, and Jack was going to drown, and it was all his fault.
Then his head broke the surface and he could suddenly breathe again.
Gasping in great gulps of air, he focused on staying afloat. Something was still pulling him backwards and for a few moments he tried to fight it until he realised he was being pulled to the shore.
Whoever was pulling him had a strong stroke and before he knew it Liam was being dragged out onto the rocky shore.
For a few moments Liam lay, breathless, frozen and in shock. How could today have suddenly gone so wrong? Had Jack pulled him from the lake? How?
“Jack?” He called, his voice cracking and hoarse. “Jack!” He called louder.
He twisted his head from one side to the other, on hearing the scrabbling of someone else collapsing beside him on the shore. Jack.
Liam forced himself to sit, the shivering of his entire body making it difficult to move at all. The cold was so intense his body ached. He pulled his knees up to his chin and tucked his frozen, aching hands beneath his armpits in an attempt to get some feeling back into his fingers.
“J-Jack?” He tried to call, except his shaking body wouldn’t let him shout, the words came out as a hoarse, weak whimper. A whimper that was echoed by someone close by.
Liam forced his eyes open and saw Jack lying on his side just out of arm’s reach. Liam’s relief was overshadowed by the fact that Jack lay so still. Liam dragged himself to Jack’s side, reached out a shaking hand and pressed fingers to a neck that seemed to have turned blue with cold.
“P-please don’t be dead, please.” Liam prayed. “I-I’ve only j-just found you. I-I c-can’t lose you.” He pulled his fingers away from Jack’s neck, cursing. “Dammit, my fingers are too cold to feel anything.”
Jack stirred, and relief flooded Liam’s body.
“Oh, thank god.”
Jack turned, slumping onto his back and reaching up to Liam with shaking, blue tinted fingers. He opened his eyes and Liam recoiled. The irises were almost colourless, and the pupils shrunk to pin-pricks. They looked wrong.
“Help me.” Jack croaked, his voice was also wrong, like a spade scraping across ice.
Liam, gasped, wanting to take hold of the outstretched hand but not sure what would happen if he did. Jack looked not just cold, but frozen. His eyes looked like the frozen swirls on the lake; his skin, as white as the frost that surrounded the edge.
“Liam.” Jack’s voice scraped along the edges of Liam’s nerves, forcing him to move.
